Tag Archives: feelings

2109. Female Blessings at Birth — #94-95


I have identified two more inborn blessings that women possess in their hearts but may not use enough to enhance their self-interest. At the end of each I summarize the blessing as it appears to others and show the natural reaction of men.

Your comments help and I continue to seek your T or F as each registers within your heart of hearts.

I write each blessing in first person, female.

94. I’m both amazed and grateful that I find it easy to be disingenuous or tell little white lies in order to protect the feelings of those I care for, which can include everyone that I appreciate as deserving of my approval. [Guy adds: Men value honesty and integrity higher in the order of principles because they fit better with what men value most—facts, logic, reason, and truth expressed directly. Women place higher value on principles that encourage people to relate well with each other—feelings, cooperation, and relationship success they can develop. Her blessing: She can get along with everybody. His admiration: How does she do that? She’s amazing!

95. I’m not really happy with myself except as I can make someone else happy. It’s my fulfillment in life but also my biggest and never ending challenge. When I can’t or when I don’t, I find that selfishness has risen in my heart. So, to ensure that my sense of self-importance remains high, I have to keep trying to make someone else happy rather than myself. [Guy adds: It’s a major virtue and makes women much better servant-leaders than men, more effective as the heart of a home than the head, and more effective as informal rather than as formal leader.] Her blessing: She’s loaded with common sense. His admiration: She’s great to be around whether as friend, spouse, competitor, or whatever.

96. (I know there are more blessings, so I await suggestions and inspiration. Target remains set at 100.)

I continue to work on this series. It’s bedrock for a happy female life. Long and intricate just as life is. I have also begun work on blessings that men inherit at birth. First installment should appear soon.

 

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640. Sex differences explain men — Chap. 34


  • Men fear rejection on initial encounters, but they get over it. Women take rejection much harder and recovery is especially difficult if she thinks a relationship has started.

 

  • Husband takes wife for granted, when she displays the independence that men commonly show. He sees her doing well if his attention is not required. Her self-confidence and complaint-free attitude thus work against her. She takes him for granted when she focuses her efforts on the kids or her career.

 

  • As men see it, single women display themselves according to the value they place on their sexual assets. Advertising and sloppy and unattractive appearance means low cost for sex. Attractive neatness and highly modest appearance translates as high cost. As women see it, they value their sexual assets as reward for a guy’s love. Ironically, after capturing boyfriend or husband, they downgrade their appearance, which reduces value of their sexual assets, which downgrades sex for imaginative rewards, which weakens his interest.

 

  • Men respond more to thinking than feelings and don’t like to think that they change. They are also more reluctant to divulge what lies in their heart. Women respond more to feelings, disclose them more readily, and change them more easily.

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581. Choices Program the Heart — Part III: Pop Scene


Our subconscious mind is our ‘heart’. Not the physical one, of course, but our inner Self—our beliefs, values, feelings, and memories that guide our life. Whatever we take in has an effect on our subconscious, and the more emotionally we absorb it, the greater the impact.

These surroundings program the female heart against feminine interests:

♦       MUSIC. Pop music programs the female subconscious with negative, unfriendly, and disparaging thoughts, ideas, and feelings. The more emotion-stirring with loudness, hollering, and screaming, then the more effective the rewriting or reinforcing of values, standards, and beliefs in the subconscious mind of listeners.

Modern pop music seems most emotional when females, intimacy, and platonic relations are demeaned. Consequently, by taking it in subconsciously, girls think less of themselves than their grannies thought of themselves. Men and boys think less of females except for whatever the music uplifts—such as sex objects, sex sans intimacy, and violent acts.

I don’t think it’s too harsh to claim that musicians and business associates purposely demean female-friendly values, standards, and expectations with their music. Obviously it works with groupies, so why not all females?

If not purposeful, then they subconsciously seek to elevate males over females, and it has the same effect.

♦       FILMS. Horror and thriller flicks deaden the female heart about real life. Seeking to be with guys, they learn to enjoy and absorb more of the unreal. One result: Captivated females retain their adolescence instead of adopting restrictive adult judgments about men and relations.    

♦       SHOWS. Media displays of casual sex—chick flicks and desperate wives—demean personal virtue. They program women to absorb masculine values that discredit and displace their feminine nature.

An anomaly: Men appreciate feminine virtue in the woman of their dreams, but they kill the concept of virtue in entertainment media. Killing virtue makes a profit, but individual men have too few virtuous women to choose from, and so marriage becomes unfashionable. Women may now work in entertainment, but they join the club to succeed, and so other females reap no benefits.

Of course women claim they can take or leave such bad influences. But can they? When they want and get more, they’ve been programmed to accept it. The programming reinforces itself in the subconscious, because the conscious mind chose to do it again or she chose not to object and escape. In these ways, choices program the heart against the best interests of females and by inference children.

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562. Choices Program the Heart — Part II: Background


 I dedicate this series to Princess Jessica who said: “What we allow into our minds programs us in sooooo very many ways…. Please expound.” This is the most complex series and difficult subject I have undertaken to simplify. Hope it works for you. (Part I is at post 555.)

Both mind and heart are continually changing, because they can be programmed and reprogrammed by Self, others, and even surroundings. The results make the difference in whether we just survive the storms of life or learn to dance in the rain, whether we live in harmony with a mate or not, whether we’re happy or not. This series focuses on programming caused by others and surroundings.

The subconscious mind absorbs much of what the conscious mind misses or ignores. For example, subliminal advertising repetitively flashes a word—e.g., PEPSI—on TV screen. It flashes too quickly for the conscious mind to perceive. Nevertheless, it penetrates the subconscious mind, unconsciously affects one’s current feelings, and creates some desire for the product.

In similar fashion, feelings, values, standards, and expectations residing in our subconscious mind can be gradually changed without our being aware. Witness how the sexual revolution has changed female thinking away from their instinctive hard-headedness and soft-heartedness to the opposite when dealing with men or trying to keep a man.  

Other people manipulate our minds by using programmable techniques and pressures, such as those used by advertisers, propagandists, and cultural change agents such as political correctness advocates and community organizers.

Consequently, programming flows out of choices we make consciously or surroundings we deliberately or even absent-mindedly accept, but which program our heart in background mode.

The female, being naturally soft-hearted and energized by feelings, more easily buys into and accepts surrounding influences. She does so, that is, unless she exercises her natural hard-headedness and objects or withdraws from surroundings that offend her sensibilities, her sensitivity to moral or ethical issues.

Details follow soon.

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450. VIRTUE—Magnet for Males—SECTION IV


To add depth to the subject, let’s look at how our mothers and grannies exploited virtue individually and collectively.

§  Priority-wise they used virtue first to earn respect, second to gain admiration, and third to garner popularity among females—but not men.

§  Females and especially girls didn’t seek popularity with the opposite sex, because it was linked to promiscuity.

§  Too popular, and she was assumed to be putting out, which weakened her competitive position among females for the best candidates for marriage.

§  Our foremothers knew that feelings follow actions, and that acting more virtuous made one more virtuous.

§  Mothers and grannies also exploited this truism: Virtue commands respect and admiration. Looking one’s best everyday reinforces one’s value as a virtuous person.

Consequently, our foremothers purposely and routinely appeared respectable at least and attractive at best even inside the home. Females competed among themselves for individual boys and men. But, in general, they stood up to males face to face intending to hold male respect and admiration for life—instead of yielding sex to confirm their own popularity as we see today.

 

 

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299. Female dominance: Gone! — Part 10


Women lose their power to offset their mate’s dominant nature when they rely on feelings instead of thinking through with intent to solve problems.

Women easily sense disharmonies, problems, or conflicts in their relationships with a man. Men are far less sensitive to such potentially disruptive forces. Not only less sensitive but also the main culprit, or so women see it.

The ball is always in her court for a variety of reasons, and she has options. Without her initiative and leadership to resolve issues before they compound, her relationship will likely flounder and may fail. It’s in her court because:

·        She’s the relationship expert. Her female nature arms her to counter his dominance when necessary. She has only to play her cards right.

·        He won her by proving himself worthy—or should have. She married him for better or worse, That is, ‘as is’! If he now disappoints her, it’s her fault. Or, so she should assume and more easily forgive and forget.

·        Regardless of his guilt, it’s counterproductive to try quieting his dominant nature. When a man is blamed by his woman, he shifts into competitive mode and treats her as he would another guy—except he can be more forceful with much less fear of reprisal. In competitive mode with his woman, his battle helmet hardens, and he enters discussions with no intention of losing.

·        Leadership operates on principles—primarily responsibility and authority. First principle: Without responsibility, one has no authority to act. If she blames him and expects him to change whatever is wrong, then she accepts no responsibility and has no authority to go further.

·        Blame initially offends him, so she should wait for him to get clued in. She thus yields the power to initiate. When problems become apparent to him, his problem-solving dominance rises to take over. She merely has to guide his efforts to solve her problem.

When she abrogates her role as relationship expert, she loses strength for easing his dominance.

[More on the shattering of female dominance appears at posts 283, 252, 237, 222, 209, 194, 173, 159, and 151.]

 

 

 

 

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258. What daughters never hear — Section 6


Dear Daughter,

♀ When you think men are only after one thing, your adolescent side shows. You attract only adult-adolescent men, and they fulfill your prophecy. Mature men figure you offer little else than sex, and they treat you accordingly.

♀ Virtual virginity is your best strategy to distinguish mature from adolescent-minded men.

♀ Mature men devote themselves to what they perceive as a good woman, because most want to raise children.  Adolescent-minded men think short term, dislike obligations, have little interest in children, always look for another ‘looker’, and promises commitment that has very short legs.

♀ Your dominant influence expands with each sacrifice you make joyfully in service to your family and castle without harshly judging what may appear as husband’s lack of interest, affection, or gratitude. (Of course, it’s neither equal nor fair, because both principles are female inventions. Go back to the top and assess your interest in ‘dominant influence’.)

♀ You should take advantage of your strengths and give him the appearance of your submissiveness to the man of the house. His perception is reality, and this means whatever he perceives satisfies him. You are far better equipped than he to work out the details to your advantage.

[More that daughters never hear appear in posts 244, 227, 214, 200, and 183. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

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