Tag Archives: female friendly

2769. The Decay of Relationships, Marriage, and Family


Definition. Society is what we all do. Culture is why we all do it; that is, the values, standards, laws, expectations, and common behaviors that guide and pressure us all in the same direction.

——

Traditionally and old school, men dominated the workplace and, consequently, society. Ladies, wives, and mothers guided their man’s influence through kitchen table and pillow talk. Women never stopped wanting a more female- and family-friendly society, and so men produced both for the first three centuries of American existence. Ever more female-friendly interests came to dominate the culture; e.g., men conquered the American West, but women civilized it because husbands listened to wives. The influence of singles slowed development toward female friendliness.

That was long ago to which we can’t return. I lodge my modern-day complaint here.

Nowadays, men dominate both society and culture, because women under leftist political objectives and feminist influence have successfully made enemies of men and women. They push ever harder for women to dominate society, to push men aside against their will. The effect is that women lose their influence in the social and domestic arenas. What they gain on the job, they lose at home and as couples, marrieds, and parents.

As they have for decades, society and culture continue to swing away from home and family. Each generation becomes less interested in permanent marriage. Couples breakup, separate, or divorce sooner rather than later and often after decades of marriage. The traditional and friendly battle of the sexes on the surface continues to morph into a new unnatural and unfriendly war of the sexes beneath the surface. Blame, finger pointing, and other relationship toxins generate tsunami waves of social turmoil that cause the ubiquitous breakup of couples.

Women think they know men but most of it is wrong. They often appear wrong about the female nature too, because they do contrary things. For instance, when competition is appropriate for women to protect sexual assets—what men see as admirable, respectable, and thereby lovable qualities—women instead cooperate by yielding sex. When cooperation is necessary for married couples to blend, wife competes against husband. Both situations are the reverse of what’s in a woman’s heart.

Women also mistakenly try to be more like men. It’s a role reversal. It appears to bring progress, peace, and success in the short term, but troubles lurk below the surface and later emerge or explode.

Feminists, activists, advocates, and supporters directly and indirectly blame men. The blame poison spreads through the male gender, as men commiserate behind bravado and heap disrespect and indignities on females. Men reject blame and toss it back in the form of maltreatment of female interests and values and by calling them crazies. Male resistance, resentment, and retaliation turn male dominance nasty. Castles crumble and relationships tumble or never form up.

Political correctness keeps the fires of irritation smoldering beneath the yearning and dreaming of women for long-term mating. Wives and mothers with husbands civilize society; single men and women do not and so society becomes less civilized as families crumble from PC irritants.

It worsens with each generation. Parents unable to lead by example as mature adults can’t help children self-develop into mature adults. Instead, those parents aim their children to please themselves by turning out good kids, who then turn to peer adolescents for guidance as immature adults.

After a couple lives together a short time, the devotion, likeability, and loyalty that constitute a man’s love dissipate, dissolve, or disappear. He becomes unsatisfied with who he is, what he’s doing and with whom, or both.

Feminism led women to adopt masculine-style sexual freedom. It compensated men with sex while blaming them for relationship breakup. It has backfired; men are sexually satisfied but the social and domestic arenas are crowded with men and women as enemies, an intolerable attitude for a couple to stick together.

Sex does not bond men, but women act as if they believe otherwise. Sex helps capture a man with promises of commitment, but it lacks holding power and sex-only couples suffer from too-weak connections. They either break up or live separate lives under the same roof until children grow up and depart.

Blame or no blame, his nature is such that he grows tired of what he sees and hears every day. His hunter eyes beg for fresher daily sights. Her fear of his mental, emotional, or physical abandonment is soon realized after she blames him. Also, and foreign to female thought, as paraphrased from a flick I saw recently: Behind every extremely attractive woman is a man tired of f***ing her. (Get it? She is always temporary except as she conditions his thinking to be permanent with her.)

Couples in every stage of relationships break up, separate, or divorce. Women can capture—because they use sex—but they can’t keep a man. You could say that men can’t keep a woman, since so many women initiate divorce. But it is irrelevant. However you twist the tail on that dog of a man, men will bark at crazies until women change themselves and men have to step up to new female standards and expectations that tend to make relationships permanent. Women are the only ones who can do that.

As wives go, so goes society. It doesn’t mean that wives directly lead men. It means that wives and other women indirectly and patiently present themselves attractively, set admirable examples of their best feminine qualities, and otherwise process their lives to capture and energize manly motivations that exploit the male nature. Otherwise, they can’t earn a man’s respect, which is the foundation of a man’s love, without which couples have to relate with one-way love, her for him but not the opposite.

We are moving swiftly toward women wasting their love on undeserving men because men can’t love unrespected women. Men can fake love for a while, but that just lengthens the temporariness of a relationship; it doesn’t keep him. And that’s the future American women face today.

12 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage, sex differences

2330. Suggestions for Raising Children — Part IV


I interrupt my planned sequence to inject a political comment. We need to teach more and mutual respect as the hinge pin for raising better children. As long as the political class promotes diversity and differences, the mutual respect of commonality dissipates and fades.

As women go, so goes society. But it only trends toward female friendliness when mutual respect rates higher than mutual love as the primary glue secreted by women between individuals. Without mutual respect between both individuals and the sexes, then society goes as men go.

It’s that way today as female friendliness fades away. Because: 1) Women blame men for relationship ailments, which makes them expect masculine respect without respecting men, which leaves women in self-defeat by inaction and lack of initiative. 2) Initiating displays of respect to someone invites if not earns their respect, and the showing of trust is the most believable form. 3) Modern men distrust modern women, which reverses historical experience, and so men are not inclined to initiate anything except joyfully ride the pony of female sexual freedom.

Today, women don’t initiate to lead indirectly and so men lead more dynamically. If women expect different outcomes, they should initiate the showing of respect to men and their gender. Men won’t initiate it. Just showing more respect than they receive weakens their competitive alignment with men and gender dominance with women. They can be blamed all day, but self-interest prevails over the interest of others.

More intersex and intra-gender respect is essential to enable women to once again shape and maintain the cultural values, standards, and expectations that guide people in a female-friendly society.

Historically, wives dominated cultural values. Today, single men dominate, subordinate, and subject women and children to immoral and even porn objectification. Husbands—the most valuable of men—go along to get along pretty much outside the shaping of public interest. The half-century changeover originated with the death of social and domestic conditions that prevailed before the 1960s.

Old school: Women respected men more than the female gender; men respected women more than the male gender. Men sought a dependable wife to provide home and castle and brighten their work and life; women sought a responsible mate to brighten their future. Almost everybody wanted those blessings. Single life was undesired and avoidable because mutual respect for the opposite gender bred trust between the sexes. Trust enhanced individual respect, which expanded a husband’s willingness and ability to love one woman, which bred mutual respect and encouragement, which attracted and taught wives that respect trumps love for the keeping of a husband.

Society settled smoothly into mutual exchange of power and influence. Husbands dominated workplace and society. Wives dominated home and cultural values, standards, and expectations for their mutually anticipated brighter future.

IOW men and women were not at war. Mutual respect bonded them in peace and the raising of children who matured into respectable and respecting adults seeking to find mutuality with a mate. Mother-love earned mutual respect that raised good children. Wife’s respect earned husband’s love that kept fathers at home.

If we can restore the teaching of, high regard for, and expectation of mutual respect among younger generations, then we may be able to reverse the male dominance that trends out of control today. It will take several or many generations, but the first change agents may already have been born.

I leave you with two operational definitions that I use.

Respect — A feeling or attitude of admiration and deference toward somebody or something; the state of being admired deferentially. To those dictionary words, I would add being appreciated and trusted; recognized as an authority on some or many subjects; looked up to as source of wisdom, guidance, dependence, help, responsibility, mental stimulation, and perhaps mental nourishment.

Disrespect — Not appreciated as a person, man or woman, or for the various roles they fill in life. No interest in their opinions. They deserve to be ignored, challenged in front of others, made to look bad, or their opinions differ. Or, they can’t pleasantly reciprocate love or respect.

11 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, sex differences

2259. Compatibility Axioms #831-840


831. How females play the sex game dominates the lifestyle of males. Men keep trying to make frequent and convenient sex more easily available. The less loosely women play the game, aka withhold sex, the more men try harder to earn a woman’s acceptance of his worth to her. [284]

832. Low morality promotes a male-friendly culture at cost to female-friendliness. [284]

833. When morality declines, men operate with less female influence. It helps further downgrade social and domestic values, standards, and expectations toward masculine interests. [284]

834. The weaker that women stand up for feminine values, standards, and expectations, the less enchanting their lives become. It creates both social and domestic power vacuums and energizes men to take advantage. [284]

835. Females giving in to ever-increasing male social pressure forces women to reshape the lifestyle of females and children contrary to the instinct and intuition of mothers. [284]

836. Men giving in to ever-increasing female pressures forces men to reshape the lifestyle of males into greater agreement and friendliness with females and their unique interests. [284]

837. If conveying her wants, needs, and desires outweigh his satisfactions about their sex life, she’s not likely to get far without the tenderest charm and diplomacy. [286]

838. She’s in charge of their relationship. Not because he’s incapable, but because he lacks knowledge of her, and men often go to extremes to hide that lack. Moreover, men lack both interest and skill for relationship management. [286]

839. He sees little need for more than he already provides in love making. So, if she’s not satisfied, coaching him may help. However, nurturing demeans and teaching tends to humiliate him, so unique female indirectness and patience are required to resolve her dilemma. [286]

840. Any discussion of their sexual shortcomings can push him toward consequences, up to and including abandonment. It can come without her being aware of what’s coming. [286]

32 Comments

Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, sex differences

2258. Compatibility Axioms #821-830


821. He’s never eager to admit fault about his sexual prowess. Nor should he be excused, but she ventures onto rocky terrain when she brings it up. [281]

822. Commitment to a relationship does not mean she’s cherished. Neither does commitment energize a man the same way or extent that devotion does. Devotion begins cherishment; the more he devotes himself to her over his interests enables cherishment to grow. [281]

823. Men can be changed slowly but don’t always expect success. They dig in their heels when not done with the respect they expect and the indirectness and patience that makes her seem to defer to him. [281]

824. Men may be insensitive clods to women. But they consider their manly sexual expertise and boudoir manner to be exceptional if not extraordinary. To them, it makes up for their shortcomings.[281]

825. Virtual virginity works better than bed-testing before marriage. It conditions his thinking that she’s highly sensitive and possessive about what she expects of him. [281]

826. Women make unmarried sex so easy that men don’t have to pay attention to her needs, drives, and desires. But doubts arise about her history and worth for marriage, if she’s too easily conquered. [281]

827. What one generation allows, the next practices. [284]

828. Living by high moral standards reinforces a girl or woman as right, proper, and courageous. Not living that way makes her easy prey for abuse by boys and men. [284]

829. If she’s easy with sex, she’s of doubtful quality to the Marrying Man. [284]

830. Morality serves women and children much more than men. Highly moral cultural values apply pressure on everyone to make society more female friendly. [284]

 

3 Comments

Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, sex differences

2170. Chivalry — Wherefore Art Thou?


We need to teach children there is no shame in acting chivalrous, and no shame in girls welcoming and appreciating a chivalrous boy. Why wouldn’t a girl or woman, for example, love and appreciate that her male friend or potential suitor fixed a flat bicycle tire for her?

Parents should teach sons to NEVER stop acting chivalrous, no matter how many figurative slaps to the face they receive. Teach each boy to never stop trying to be the one who is first to help the damsel in distress, first to pay a compliment about a girl’s appearance, first to open a door for her, first to brave up to bullies on her behalf, first to put down boys that demean her, and first to ignore the taunts of boys for paying chivalrous tribute to girls.

And parents should teach little girls to pleasantly accept kindness every time it comes their way. It’s a blessing when males extend the chivalrous hand of help or friendliness that lacks sexual overtures. It doesn’t need to happen; males have other things to do, other and easier ways to earn self-admiration and respect. OTOH, the chivalrous boy CHOOSES to give unconditionally and make something come out to some female’s favor. Just the attitude of chivalry in the hearts of boys is sufficient to uplift the worthiness of females after both pass into adulthood.

As one of the most important character traits, parents should teach that no shame attaches to chivalry, even if and when females denigrate offers or the deliverer of help. It happens because of unwillingness in the modern pop culture to accept being called the weaker sex. Yet, accepting that pretense produces guys putting themselves at the disposal of women. However momentarily it may be, a chivalrous act confirms unconditional respect, unconditional willingness to please, and eagerness to earn female favor. It may be duty to him, but he acknowledges with action her self-worth in his world. It’s the beginning of mutual respect.

Our present-day pop culture continues to become more unfriendly for females.  It’s a small factor, but disclaiming being the weaker sex fuels the female ego contrary to the best interest of women and the natural propensity of men to win their favor. Yet, feminists and their followers continue to demean men and boys, which causes other women to miss the good old days of chivalry that so boldly confirms females as important.

Women feel awkward when faced with chivalry. They have little confidence. Some think they don’t deserve it, others wonder how they can adequately express their gratitude.

A ‘thank you’ is fine but it means little to men. Words just aren’t that meaningful to men; actions are. Women should provide more encouragement; they can reach a man’s heart with an action statement of admiration. Such as, ‘Men are never more handsome than when they please a lady.’ Or, ‘Wow, who taught you to be such a pleasant gentleman’? Or, ‘I measure a person by their deeds, and you make your deeds special.’ Note that each statement praises indirectly; nothing direct enough to be taken as a hit even so much as ‘You’re likeable.’

He’s admired and that makes her gratitude meaningful to men. Such admiring remarks are significant. But at least some acknowledgement must be paid by women. No recognition of chivalrous action shames the woman as ungrateful.

If we ever restore chivalry to society, women have to do it starting with boys and girls and blending it in over future generations. It’s amazing how the principles and practices of chivalry please both sexes with the other.

Tomorrow we return to dating in mid-life.

 

3 Comments

Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter

2169. Chivalry — Recovery is Everything and Overdue


If you read the first post on this subject, #2168, why have we as a culture so readily accepted the intentional murder of chivalry at the hands of feminists? More importantly, how do we recover if the feminists were to let us? Or why should we even try?

I talk much about the character and custom-setting deeds of our forebears and how society’s female-friendly standards shrink. Perhaps chivalry could help right our sinking cultural ship, so I describe the road to recovery.

Chivalry indirectly leads to female happiness in one of life’s cause-and-effect natural phenomena. The process that follows is produced by both sexes following their hearts to live according to the natural condition they inherit at birth. It’s what instinct and intuition lead men and women to do naturally. It contributes greatly to general compatibility that leads respectably to enjoyable mating and indirectly to better fulfillment of girlhood hopes and dreams.

However, the practice has to be taught in childhood. That’s right. Both sexes need to have the benefits of following one’s instincts reinforced. God provides no owner’s manual until old enough to study the Bible. So, parents have to close the gap.

Male Nature:

  • Women are born to earn happiness over time. Men are born to earn satisfaction through daily achievements, and chivalry provides significant opportunity for both sexes.
  • His actions generate his feelings. A male who practices chivalry develops over time a deeply-rooted belief that he should unconditionally respect females, which includes the desire to give unconditionally, which enables him to eagerly find favor with a female, which energizes him to put his convenience momentarily at the disposal of a female, which makes him feel good about himself, which earns self-admiration, which provides satisfaction that he did the right thing. His chivalrous actions program his heart with those feelings (so long as the process isn’t interrupted by female signals that his effort isn’t welcome, in which case his will power and determination have to say ‘don’t quit’).
  • To boy or man brought up to be chivalrous, it becomes a duty. They are automatically responsible for distressed or otherwise discombobulated females. Fulfilling one’s duty is not an event that deserves reward, and men don’t appreciate unearned gifts. Consequently, women don’t know much about rewarding a chivalrous act, even though mere acknowledgement is sufficient when a guy does his duty.
  • It’s a hard and fast belief developed in childhood. Teaching boys that females are weaker and, therefore, to be protected makes males feel stronger, which opens the male heart to helping, which opens the door for chivalry, which defines a new duty, which energizes males to earn female favor, which produces a male at her disposal, which makes females feel superior, which puts her in the role of boss, which confirms she’s not the weaker sex, which guys can accept unless it’s verbalized.

Female Nature:

  • As you’ve read so often on this blog, women are born to be happy but they have to earn it. It comes from each woman’s gratitude for herself compounded by gratefulness for others in her life. Treated chivalrously, she becomes grateful for who she is and what she deserves, which adds to her sense of self-importance and ability to pass her gratitude on to others.
  • Chivalrous actions make a female feel superior. Her heart becomes programmed with respect and gratitude, which makes girls and women more grateful for themselves, which contributes to their happiness. Indirectly, chivalrous men help women find happiness. Also, his actions program her heart with respect and appreciation for males.

However, the foundation of chivalry is a delightful charade based on male eagerness to deceive themselves about females. Men are extremely unwilling to acknowledge any superiority to women; it’s inconsistent with their natural sense of dominance. By focusing solely on physical abilities and calling females the weaker sex, men can ‘prove’ to themselves that any superiority attached to the female gender is inconsequential. Chivalry confirms the weakness of one sex, which strokes the ego of men, and lifts any burden from men to admit otherwise. That’s the female-friendly charade that men develop to win female favor, but also to protect their own sense of significance.

Which begs the question, isn’t Feminism designed to highlight the superiority of women? Sure, but it doesn’t work except with the power of government imposed for legal, political, and economic advancements that become toxic when brought into both social and domestic relationships by well-meaning women with unrealistic expectations.

History proves the sexes can live compatibly. Men can’t and won’t do so when women impose their superiority to get their way. Either women keep their superior nature to themselves and avoid reminding men that it even exists, or men resent, resist, and often retaliate. To admit women are superior is to admit manly insignificance, which by nature is a man’s greatest fear that ranks with her fear of abandonment, which is what he does when she goes too far.

I submit that men or boys who are raised to be chivalrous, are not the same males who are abusing and disrespecting women and children on a regular basis. True chivalry, when ingrained in a boy, serves him throughout life. It provides a sense of satisfaction when he is able to help, please, win their favor, or delight women and children. It also serves as an internalized insurance policy against him becoming an abuser. Men can’t hit women, if taught to be chivalrous in boyhood.

Observe these Italian boys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2OcKQ_mbiQ and watch to the end.

You saw with the Italian boys how easily a charade can be turned into more safety for females. One simple admission, females are weaker, which enables males to ignore female superiority as long as it remains inadmissible as evidence for females to get their way. It’s easily and best taught in childhood. That’s next as this series grows from two to three installments.

 

13 Comments

Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, Feminism: OOPS!

2062. Female Blessings at Birth — 64-66


Thank you ladies for the nice responses to post 2061’s Editor’s Note. I love it when pretty women say I’m doing the right thing.

This is the 23rd group of three blessings, and I’m grateful for your responses. Especially those that signify your agreement or disagreement, T or F.

64. I grasp instinctively that man must be capable of evil since there is so much. I sense a burden to stop it but give up at the thought how little old me can do anything. [Guy adds: When men don’t have to step up to moral standards imposed by their woman or higher authority than Man, then morality crumbles under the heel of male dominance guided and eventually governed by alpha men without consciences. It’s a cycle that repeats throughout history. Our Judeo-Christian culture is the best system ever devised to uphold morality as the guiding principle. Now that appears to be disappearing.]

65. I am proud to accept the principle of submission to husband as long as he deserves it. But I also have a say in it even though public opinion seems to ignore my opinion. (It seems fair that submission is my side of the bargain for him to give up his independence for me.) [Guy adds: Women have the free will to deal with the submission issue as they choose. Their naturally endowed relationship expertise provides them with the capability to turn disputes into mutual agreement provided they don’t wish for something else.]

66. I reap great pleasure spreading joy wherever I go but especially in my own home. Unfortunately, I can’t be as joyful as I would like; it just seems to slip away. [Guy adds: Imagine if you can, a joy-filled woman sitting around doing nothing or spending her time alone. Joy doesn’t come without self-gratitude, and that doesn’t come without discovering within herself the multitude of blessings that she inherits at birth. And when she has enough self-gratitude, she doesn’t sit around doing nothing. She extends herself, adds to her self-importance, and out of that great wives emerge to uphold morality and enable others to find joy. A favorite example is this. Men conquered the American West but wives civilized it by imposing religious values on their husbands directly and other men indirectly. Whatever joy they had as women, it arose out of success imposing morality on men to make society more female friendly.]

Example for your response: “66-F ” works okay to reflect your opinion of false to that one item. Also, comments are welcome and desired, especially if you take exception to anything.

 

3 Comments

Filed under feminine