This posting has multiple purposes behind it.
First, I’ve taken the liberty of giving the term ‘feminine’ an operational definition, which means to always presume this context: Men decide what is feminine and what is not. Specifically, feminine includes any and all those female behaviors that appeal particularly to men as qualities that make a woman a good candidate for marriage, i.e., at least satisfactory to live with. When I use feminine, conquest is left out. Feminine makes a woman attractive as potential wife. Sexual attractiveness makes her a potential bed mate. This definition matches how the male nature works, how it guides men to perceive females two very different ways—attractive for conquest aka targeted and attractive to live with aka feminine.
Second, two concepts matched with two distinctly natural behaviors seems to fit together this way.
Men have two major motivational forces regarding women. 1) Foremost is conquest. Feminine as defined and used here doesn’t apply to the conquering process. The man seeking to conquer will effectively disregard or forgive any faults a sexually attractive woman might have. 2) Recognizing they are not equipped by nature to sustain a relationship, men nevertheless seek to provide/protect those for whom they are responsible. It energizes them to produce, which leads to self-admiration, possible satisfaction, and probable significance. The male nature aims men directly toward fulfilling responsibility as they sense it belongs to them.
Other than in conquest mode, the male nature consists of these motivational forces: Men do things to earn self-admiration until satisfied. That’s when they pause or stop such as daily after work or after completing a project. When responsible only for themselves, they can’t achieve much significance and realize they discredit their potential and their significance doesn’t grow. As the result, men learn early in life that fulfillment comes with greater responsibility, because that’s where they can earn the most satisfaction. (To be sure, some boys are inhibited from accepting responsibility in childhood and some men get fearful and back away from it. Both are lessons learned and not intrinsic to the male nature.)
Those two motivational forces put these pressures on women. Regarding 1): Conquest is a one-on-one competition; every woman is directly responsible for her future. Neither conquest nor subsequent sex bonds a man. Consequently, a man absorbs and accepts no sense of responsibility out of his conquest. Without feeling responsible, men don’t do what others expect or can count on.
Regarding 2): Women intuitively accept responsibility for relationship, marital, and family development and sustainability. They instinctively sense that men won’t or can’t. Each woman’s primary task is to persuade a man to be responsible for her and whatever follows in her life. Make him like, enjoy, and find satisfaction being responsible for her and children and he rises to meet his potential, greatest satisfaction, and most significance. (That’s all a woman has to do; piece of cake, right ladies? That’s why you’re a member of the superior gender, so you can more easily mix, bake, add icing, cut, and serve the cake of making one man feel responsible for more than himself.)
Consequently, either women fish with bait that keeps a man feeling responsible to help fulfill her hopes and dreams or women proceed with unrequited love. Feminine, as I use it here, is the proper bait to seal a deal with a man who is willing to accept responsibility for her future of blessing his ambitions.
Third, Some Other Guy made a major addition to yesterday’s article. He describes another enemy of feminine mystique that takes a man’s interest away from living with a woman:
“Complaining about anything even if it is not regarding your man is poisonous to the energy of the relationship. Sure we all have those off days every so often. But every single day? … I cannot overstate how unattractive some wives make themselves when every interaction is filled with ‘I don’t like this and I don’t like that and this thing is broken and why don’t you do this and how come you always do that and why is my mother being such a terror’ and on and on.”
Fourth, having many leftover thoughts from the 2243 FEMININE article, I post them here. Pardon the simplicity of merely spotlighting what are sometimes complex behaviors.
Good habits enhance FEMININE. The more of these the merrier.
These habits tend to support feminine thoughts in the minds of men. She keeps faultfinding to herself, speaks softly so that everyone listens more closely, avoids turning people off from being attentive to her, wears sincerity on her sleeve, hides anger while others burst out, dislikes boozing, dislikes gambling, sees humor in children playing, uplifts moral standards, considers permanent marriage the ultimate female goal, subordinates sex to marriage, makes mealtime family time, loves everyone until they prove unworthy, finds solace in intimacy, believes her man is the greatest, agrees first and persuades later, believes the opposite of ‘full disclosure’, believes firmly in prayer, has no oddball interests, criticizes behavior rather than the wrongdoer, considers sex a very personal and private matter, thinks highly of the male gender, thinks low of men who offend the female gender, favors fair over equal in making judgments, never forgets important things, shuns direct competition except with those who threaten family stability, loves to cooperate/collaborate and unify people, lives up to someone more important than herself.
She teaches children to respect adults, convinces sons to respect females, and teaches and protects daughters against unmarried sex.
She is always composed, anxious to birth and raise children, distinctively modest, excellent judge of when to be serious or humorous, easy to laugh but not at other people, not a spendthrift, and grateful for herself and others for their meaning in her life.
Only death or grief stamp out her lightheartedness. Her mystery attracts people. Her mature adult values make her decisions highly consequential and she indirectly gains influence.
Bad habits limit FEMININE. The more of these the poorer.
These habits tend to weaken and wipe out attractive thoughts in the minds of men. Loud, noisy, raucous, easily upset, lacks composure, doesn’t respect authority figures, heavy drinker, duplicates masculine behaviors, expects her feelings to govern each situation, lacks self-respect, explains herself continually, complains about others, tries to outdo men, blames men, blames anyone, looks for and finds faults in others, works hard to be liked, uses sex to get her way, likes marriage but doesn’t expect to pay a heavy price to get or keep it, micromanages the household and everyone in it, perfectionist by habit, thinks either she or he is a plaything, adolescent-mindedness shows in her decisions, won’t lead but rejects his leadership, gets in his face over incidentals, can’t stand to lose, unwilling to forgive, easily reminds others of past mistakes, not particularly grateful in spirit, elevates sex above marriage, not interested in what her man does, bad mouths husband to girlfriends, embarrasses her man in public, contradicts hubby in front of others.
Fifth, since this series is an exploratory effort, I could use feedback from you ladies to help make more sense of it for daily living. All ideas and help appreciated, especially those that help clarify.