Tag Archives: feminine mystique

1926. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 86


  • Women know they are pretty; it comes with birth. Women who smile a lot are prettier. Innocently complimenting or teasing a woman makes her smile and adds beauty to the world. Women should appreciate men for making this a prettier world by niceness and funning rather than an uglier place to live by disrespecting and aggressing.
  • Show me a woman that dislikes compliments and I’ll show you a woman that dislikes herself. She thinks either that she doesn’t deserve it or feminist dogma taught her to reject her nature and also be suspicious of men.
  • A direct connection exists but which happens first? Who starts it? Unsought and unexpected compliments by men cause women to dress and groom more attractively and act more appealingly.
  • If a woman doesn’t appreciate unsought and unexpected compliments by all men, she lacks respect for the male gender and appreciation of herself. It makes her less than ideal for learning to appreciate one man.
  • She’s simple. Comfort with who she is enables a woman to share herself with others. He’s complex. To the extent that a man is comfortable with his sense of significance in the eyes of a woman, it enables him to share himself.
  • Modern women give up their natural mystery and insult their own prettiness. They slap their appearance together with sloppy clothes and disregard for grooming in ways that reveal disregard for their own importance, lack of self-respect, and pain at receiving insufficient love.

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1907. Compatibility Axioms #71-80


71. Feminine mystique attracts men and holds their interest. An air of secrecy and generally being ‘vague and unavailable’ draws men into a woman’s aura of charm. (It keeps her in charge and puts men on the defensive. It’s the opposite of her chasing him, and it forces each man to prove his worth to her—if he chooses to pursue her. When he perceives charming but strong resistance to his first priority, sexual conquest, it pushes him deeper into the role of seller, which proportionally reinforces her as the buyer.)

72. Female modesty tames males. It’s a woman’s greatest counterbalance to male domination. Keeping men on the defensive weakens male domination.

73. The foundation of a man’s love is respect for a woman signified by devotion demonstrated by his actions. (Romantic love, mostly based on infatuation and lust, does not require a man’s respect. Plus, romantic love fades after a year or two. Enduring love, if it’s to replace the romantic kind and not also fade away, requires his respect that she earned early and continues to maintain.)

74. Feminine adherence to moral standards helps earn masculine respect. The male nature does not need morality. Morality serves women and children predominantly when women promote and push moral standards that first suppress extreme male domination, aggression, and violence, and second teach men to use and spread moral values to help smooth the kinks out of society.

75. Female-designed and -upheld customs and manners calm men. By women insisting on and upholding social and domestic standards, men learn they must please women to enjoy feminine endorsement, appreciation, and support.

76. Of course it’s not fair, but men have little interest partnering with only one woman. Unless, that is, women sell and reward their man—however far removed  from ideal to her—for both husbanding and fathering.

77. Men don’t do the love thing as women do. Men expect this first in a relationship: a cooperative, helpful, and likeable rather than a competitive and offending spirit. Next, a man expects respect and gratitude for who he is and what he does. The former invites him to partner, the latter holds him as partner.

78. Masculine-style sexual freedom practiced by females dooms the institutions of marriage, faithful husbanding, and responsible fathering. The male nature is too easily lured by challenges outside the home.

79. If men pay no tough-for-them price for sex, the women providing it water down their worth and magnetic appeal.

80. Female virginity is under- and male virginity over-valued by modern women. Women desire men that know how to satisfy them sexually. With her, experience counts. Men desire females that other men have not had. With him, it’s competitively beating out all those other guys. So, it’s not purity to men so much as sexual inexperience by which he can presume his prowess without fear of comparison and anticipate her fidelity to him.

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1351. Mystery Out of Place


Her Highness Lady Arabella asks, “How can I be mysterious when conducting my normal social activities. For example, if I’m at a grocery store, coffee shop, singles event, or on the golf course how can I be intriguing and foster a sense of mystery so that the man I focus on wants to come over and talk to me?”

It’s simple. Be NOT mysterious as you appear in public, only modest and private about personal matters. Smile more. Quit trying to avoid eye contact with men but make it no more than a glance and smile. Act as if you’re the most popular gal in the place, and then exchange another glance or two with your target of interest. No more than three but not close together.

To paraphrase Kipling, We treat these two imposters the same, wanted and unwanted hits. Treat ‘hitters’ the same. Look each straight in the eye and learn to shine as you reject them with polite let downs instead of put downs. It enlarges your self-respect and -confidence and adds to your importance in the lives of the men you encounter and others that observe it.

Save your feminine mystique for when someone shows more than a passing interest and wants to get to know you. Then shift into mysterious mode.

The purpose of mystery is not to withhold personal information but to prompt men to invest themselves into finding out whatever they wish to know. Their actions program their subconscious minds to keep up their interest, try harder, and invest more.

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1212. Boot Camp for Girls—Post-grad #3: Purity Rings?


Her Highness Cassy inquired about purity rings that friends bought at a “Silver Ring Thing” concert. Her friends want to “wear them so that they will attract Christian guys who will be attracted to the fact that they are saving themselves.” She asked what I thought.

She didn’t ask, but the question stared at me: Does a ring make the girl? Yes, a target! To bring up the subject of abstinence in front of guys is to open the subject of sex FOR them. Girls that abstain need everything else but that.  

  • Guys interested in an abstaining girl have to know with whom they stand. Curiosity will inflame their imagination to find out if she’s also virginal. They can’t help that. It’s nature.
  • Any visible symbol of sex-related matters immediately invites guy talk about personal things that lead to sex and endless inquiry about her status. She loses the advantage whether virgin or not.
  • If other guys know that a girl abstains, they won’t seek to be with her to exchange personal interests that could lead to relationships. Abstinence moves her out of their mainstream. She’s not in their ballpark, so she can go somewhere else to play. Thus, girls bypass many opportunities to deal with guys, both wanted and unwanted. They miss learning from experience how to identify Mr. Good Enough candidates with potential to become Mr. Right many years down the marital road.
  • A girl too tough to conquer isn’t appreciated except by two kinds of guys. Those that see great challenges in conquering girls too tough to conquer. And, her husband, who won’t join up with her for sometime or many years.
  • Anything a girl or woman advertises removes some mystery and it doesn’t help. Males advertise to prove their worth. Females don’t advertise so they can highlight feminine mystique, mystery unique.  
  • Girls that brag about abstaining appear desperate, a direct invitation for masculine exploitation.
  • If teachers of abstinence recommend symbols of commitment, keep it private and out of sight. Better yet, remember that a big difference exists between committing oneself and trying to convince others of it. So, let committed girls brag to their journal, or sleep with it under their pillow, instead of exposing their symbols to other boys and even girls.
  • Rings discourage long-lasting relationships. Boyfriends of girls that wear purity rings catch hell from buddies. Few adolescent boys tear themselves away from their friends and continue doing that for which they are ridiculed. I know, Christian boys aren’t supposed to do such things, but teasing and even ridicule can easily arise out of adolescent jealousy and envy. Most Christian boys aren’t mature Christians.
  • Boys don’t think about marriage as girls do. Teen rings just convince boys that a girl is aimed at marriage, so she’s not a challenge of beauty but someone to be wary of. She might lay traps.

Whatever men and boys conclude from what they perceive, they believe it much easier and deeper than what they are told by words or rings. Their conclusions embed in their heart. As most girls know, devotion flows from the heart. As with everything else personal, non-disclosure works best for a girl. It adds challenges for boys to decode and figure her out while they make themselves worthy of her.

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1184. Boot Camp for Girls—Day 21: Grandfather’s Advice #8


Beautiful granddaughter, you deserve to be placed on a pedestal. However, don’t rely on your beauty. It melts down with aging.

Boys don’t put a girl on a pedestal. Men don’t put a woman on a pedestal. Guys don’t put their fiancé on a pedestal. Husbands don’t put their wife on a pedestal. Females build their own pedestals. Males view the various pedestals and assess the promise emanating from them.

Females begin construction in girlhood and continue for decades and maybe life. They build their pedestal by stacking coins of virtue for each male to see, evaluate, and uncover her promise as girlfriend, fiancé, lover, or wife.

She must construct her own pedestal because of the way males think. First, they admire accomplishments. Second, they don’t believe in unearned gifts. Third, they expect hallowed respect to be earned. Fourth, to openly adore someone makes them look weak. Fifth, they love it when females put up with their expectations.

Expect your pedestal to be observed two ways. The man in your life sees your ingredients of construction, coins of virtue. Outside observers see how you’re adored by him.  

Imagine coins of virtue stacked to rise with each coin added. The stack elevates her stature and status in male eyes. They add up to the promise she holds for her boyfriend/man/fiancé/husband. Other people recognize the pedestal top by how the current male in her life respects her as a person, girlfriend, female, and friend.

Now to the coins. Virtue means unique to females and complimentary to males. She adds value to herself and interest and comfort to his life. It registers as virtue and programs his heart in her favor.

(Forget about showing physical affection. It has little value as virtue. Boys see physical affection as prelude to foreplay and therefore sex. A female’s distinction from other females thus fades with displays of physical affection.)

I now present a goldfield of virtues just waiting to be mined and stacked as your personal pedestal. These foundations come first: Feminine mystique pleasantly defies his understanding of the female psyche. Female modesty proclaims female uniqueness. Moral behavior earns admiration for dedication to living the good life. Monogamous beliefs pledge sexual fidelity. Abstinence makes a man’s heart grow fonder (out of respect and promise of fidelity). The following make those foundations resonate with clarity and intensity.

  • Physical attractiveness marvelously enhanced by affordable attire and classy grooming.
  • Sexual attractiveness enhanced by modest coverings to reinforce that other men are forbidden.
  • Gentleness provided out of patience.
  • Forgetfulness that automatically follows forgiving someone.
  • Thoughtfulness that her mate deserves.
  • Gratefulness for her man that shines as her being happy when he’s around.
  • Submissiveness as her spirit of cooperation.
  • Happiness that spreads infectiously.
  • Joyfulness that inspires greater hope.
  • Chasteness promised to him by modest display of boobs and legs.  
  • Generousness that smashes selfishness out of her life.
  • Delightfulness that makes her man smile.
  • Unselfishness that spreads as example for all.
  • Neatness that inspires others.
  • Goodness that sets a shining example.
  • Faithfulness that inspires him to follow suit.
  • Competitiveness with him before marriage but only cautiously on matters of principle afterward.
  • Cooperativeness with him on marital matters.
  • Indirectness and seed planting used as main strategy for getting her way.

However, venom from the snake pit injects grease between coins of virtue. The greasiness destabilizes the pedestal structure. Venom such as:

  • Facetiousness prompted by fear of being wrong.
  • Hatefulness prompted by dislike of herself.
  • Selfishness never untaught to her in childhood.
  • Busyness pursuing her personal rather than their mutual agenda.
  • Fussiness inspired by desire for perfection.
  • Bitchiness that flows from envy, jealousy, and similar emotions related to others.
  • Fearsomeness brought on by mistakes or failures that she thinks might be repeated endlessly. 
  • Quarrelsomeness that emerges from her desire to drive their bus.
  • Untidiness, the nesting merits of which she was never taught in childhood.
  • Loneliness magnified by jealousy when he’s not alongside her.
  • Lonesomeness inadequately handled when caused by husband’s absence at work.
  • Moodiness that flows from her inability to control events in her life to her satisfaction.
  • Carelessness prompted by weak sense of responsibility.
  • Sloppiness that reflects badly on husband to his friends and competitors.
  • Phoniness energized by fear of her true character being found out.
  • Political correctness brought on by sense of being victimized.
  • Unfaithfulness that boils in oil her man’s sense of significance.

Now, Honey Child, I don’t expect you to master those things in girlhood. You may never get to the top of such a pedestal. But, as with other things in life, do the best you can with what you have where you’re at. You know where you’re headed. Coins of virtue can also pave a great path toward fulfilling your hopes and dreams.

You may not think a pedestal is worth the effort to build it. But someday, without ever being aware, you’ll find yourself so self-reliant in your thoughts and deeds that you’ll love yourself for whom and what you are. Building such a pedestal puts you into living up to someone bigger than yourself, namely who you can become.

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1159. Breast Augmentation—Revisited


The breast augmentation article 1158 caused puzzlement. Her Highness Marianne provides good questions to explore deeper veins.  So, I quote her and explain how human nature tends to work rather than offer advice.

“Are you saying even after marriage one should not tell such things to one’s husband?”

No, I specifically addressed Her Highness Lotus’ case about breast augmentation. She has many good reasons for not disclosing it to a boyfriend. If they marry she MAY have the option of not disclosing it for years.

If it works out that way, she will be better off. Early in marriage husbands do better if they don’t have to think through the things I described about the boyfriend. Late in marriage husband’s mind won’t become nearly as curious. Neither will he dwell on it so much. New discoveries can be easier to accept if a man learns of it later in both life and marriage.

It raises the question of whether she’s being fair to him. She calls that shot when she decides what to do, disclose or not. He calls it fair or not after he hears her defense of keeping it quiet for so long. (Not advice, just facts about the human game.)

 “Also, hubby is always telling me being honest is very important to him and to most men.”

He’s right too. Truth is critical when a subject opens. It doesn’t follow that every subject must be opened. Nor does it follow that failure to open a subject is dishonest. Thus, fairness becomes a better judgment factor.

“What if he asks and then says ‘why did not you tell me?’”

Truthfully describe her motivation, such as shame, innocence, modesty, embarrassment, fear of his rejection, trying to forget it by ignoring it, or wherever else her truth lays. Satisfy his question or ire the best she can. She does it all the time anyway, doesn’t she?

“So how to balance being mysterious (even in marriage) with being honest?” Mystery and honesty shouldn’t balance. They shouldn’t be connected nor are they opposites. Moreover, if she generates mystery with dishonesty, it’s not feminine mystique.

“Also what are examples of things not to be disclosed to a husband?”

There are many past-life details that we never want to reveal, such as shameful events and personal actions in which we belittled ourselves. Beyond that other things plague both men and women. Each has to make his or her own decisions.

I’m fundamentally against the principle of full disclosure that women find so intriguing or duty-bound. Feminists developed the principle so women would belittle men and help with the political goal of smothering patriarchy. The female nature knows better than to tell everything to one’s spouse. Human nature makes everything relative, relative is risky, and that’s life.

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1151. Keepers for Keepers—Assortment 34


  • He offers his strengths for her to appreciate. If she shows no weaknesses, his strengths fade in importance, and so does she.
  • His respect for his woman softens a man’s heart, and her gratitude for him softens his hard-headedness.
  • Women are in charge of courtship only as long as it remains platonic.
  • A man’s love is based on respect for one woman he sees as extraordinary, and it arises out of what he doesn’t truly understand. (Whatever her qualities, he likes the mixture. Qualities such as feminine mystique, female modesty, moral standards, monogamous intentions, and female imperatives about successful relationships. Determined trueness to femininity ripens her persona so that some man sees potential for permanent mating.)
  • Few things expose a man’s character more readily than being repeatedly denied sex by a woman on whom he has set his sights for conquest.
  • Wives cheat on husbands and expect them to respond as women do. It doesn’t work that way. When he cheats, she wants to know. When she cheats, he wants to go. 
  • The more sex partners a woman takes up with, the less she learns positive and affirming things about herself and how to keep one man as her own.
  • Promiscuous women eventually learn that uninvolved sex leaves a woman empty.

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1071. Ties That Bind and Blind — #05


  • Feminine mystique attracts and holds masculine attention. A man’s curiosity, interest, and desire flow toward what he cannot fully comprehend; challenges spice up his life.
  • People don’t appreciate what they are given for little or no reason. What they earn, they appreciate, and women wonder why no calls after his conquest?
  • Fashionable viral infection: Greater sexual freedom by females outside of marriage infects the institution of marriage. Feminists and sex-freedom supporters shift the interest of men away from commitment to one woman and retrofit the males’ conquering urge and drive to spread seed. The connection is both simple and direct, and men are highly successful while women wilt in frustration over failed, failing, or non-existent relationships.
  • Motivated by adolescent values, immature men dominate the home without showing much kindness, gratitude, or generosity. Such men reveal their nature early in relationships, and women can spot it while dating. Generally, the immature man’s thinking, habits, and expectations revolve around teen values, standards, and ideals carried into adulthood.
  • A man’s heart follows his stomach. Yet, modern women refuse to learn much less actually cook. Male stomachs turn to junk food and male hearts turn to junk. Female hearts scream foul.  

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