Tag Archives: fidelity has two faces

1435. Fidelity without His Devotion? Unlikely! — Part II


This continues the comparison of two strategic options on which girls dream and women disagree. The strategies are repeated here. (Her Highness Denise authored the options at #1428.)

Option A: “Some women embrace the idea that you are single until married, meaning that even though you might spend time with someone in a romantic context, until a man proposes, you remain free to entertain the interest of whomever you desire should you choose to do so.”  (Already described at #1434)

Option B: “Others claim that this is disloyal, unfaithful, etc. and that if you are seriously interested in someone, that interest ought to be expressed through a committed, exclusive dating relationship where both parties are off limits to anyone else so long as you are an ‘official’ couple.”

Up front, blunt, and candid:

  • Womanhood appears split along these lines. Mature women, both young and old, prefer or at least lean toward Option A (see #1434). Teen girls, desperate females, and adolescent-minded women prefer, lean toward, and through force of their numbers popularize Option B. By learning the subtle weaknesses of B, some women may ease themselves into more mature relationships. I can’t tell them how or what to do though; individuals must figure out what likely works best for them.
  • The characteristics of Option B will be helpful for those readers that keep this in mind: A is the female game made unappealing by man-think. B is the man’s game made popular by man-think. As should be expected, women don’t fare well playing the man’s game.
  • Option A isn’t popular in the social marketplace. It prevents women having their own boyfriend. Women can’t seem to comprehend this belief embedded deep within the male nature: Gals with boyfriends must be providing sex. Gals circulating without boyfriends must not be providing sex, and so they offer the most, the greatest, and the most appealing challenges. Pardon the pun, but men rise to that. So, untied-down women offer what men look for first—unused or lesser used goods. Because men prefer females that appear to not be providing sex, Option A opens the female’s door much wider for solidifying whatever relationships do blossom into courtship and ultimately marriage.

The subtle but complex disadvantages of Option B follow. These seemingly insignificant bits and pieces compound and haunt the best intentions of women that choose to use it.   

  1. Without the legal aspects of marriage and moral strength of vows, why should cheating be turned into a premarital agreement? Courtship either breeds mutual loyalty and fidelity or it doesn’t. Pressure to force it causes multiple pressures that invite men to dodge it. Men too easily perceive B as trying to force them out of their comfort zone.
  2. B keeps a woman from looking and perhaps finding someone better. Only immaturity pushes a woman to give up trying to improve her lot in life just because she develops a special interest in one man. Even worse, once she captures a man that same immaturity pushes her to improve her lot in life by trying to change him—which never works.  
  3. B rules out other pursuers before she finds out for sure whether boyfriend is Mr. GoodEnough, holds the potential to become Mr. Right, and has become comfortable with her arranging their relationship.
  4. B supposes that a woman’s interest in a man is sufficient for her to try harder to corral him into a deeper relationship. Just because she’s seriously interested, it doesn’t follow that her man views her the same way.
  5. Men don’t appreciate unearned gifts and B provides it. She dedicates her interests to him and he’s done no more specifically than try to get her into bed. If she’s so eager, how desperate is she? She may not be desperate, but his perception may easily be exactly that.
  6. B appears to be a disingenuous way of holding a man in a committed arrangement. Fidelity is easy for her and difficult for him. She actually sacrifices so little yet expects him to sacrifice his independence. Her reward comes at his expense, and he’s supposed to support such an arrangement?

More follows tomorrow in Part III at #1436.

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