Q. What should wives avoid to keep husband at home?
A. The strongest magnets in the marital world are these. Her likeability to him and his likeability to her as he sees it reflected from what she does — more than what she says — to keep him satisfied with himself. Men lack but women possess the relationship expertise to make all that happen. Consequently, wife has to take charge. She has to keep herself likeable to him and show that he’s likeable to her by doing whatever it takes to keep him satisfied with himself. It’s how she runs the marital show.
By maximizing mutual likeability, smarter wives generate the greatest insurance against their man cheating. By following just a few of the ‘wrongs’ described below, less-alert wives may encourage masculine infidelity.
The less-feminine woman can much too easily drive her man to cheat. She doesn’t care or can’t understand how her actions program husband against her interests. Actions and words that wife considers necessary very often register differently with hubby. For example, husband’s reactions to her unsolicited advice, recurring complaints, and constructive criticism cripple her likeability.
The bullets that follow describe what wives do contrary to husbandly interests that adversely impact mutual likeability and initiate husband’s thoughts of another woman. When a man is dissatisfied with his woman, self-satisfaction as a man becomes more important to him than that of a husband. IOW, for example, if wife tends to emasculate him, he looks to restore his self-image as a man rather than as a husband.
Here are some examples that work contrary to a husband’s interests.
- She loses or never had enough self-gratitude as a woman to make a good wife. She feels undeserving. She finds fault in life and blames others rather than finding gratefulness for who she is and what she has. Mutual likeability declines.
- She doesn’t respect husband enough for who he is as person, man, husband, friend, lover, and father. She caught him but now considers him to be inadequate, at least partially. She probably could have done better, which curtails her pride in him and reduces her potential to be faithful as he views her loyalty. Her likeability declines.
- She doesn’t depend on him enough for what he does as provider, protector, producer, fixer-upper, and rescuer when they need a recovery. Thus, she effectively admits that he’s less than necessary and under appreciated. She’s less likeable.
- Some wives continually complain about far too much. Husbands have one of three reactions: a) What he can fix, he does. b) What he can’t fix, he feels guilty because he can’t relieve his woman’s disappointment. Men don’t accept guilt from someone else and he resents it. c) Her complaints amount to just chatter or gossip that are meaningless to him. By not learning how he reacts to her complaints, she begins to complain about his having too little empathy or paying too little attention to her. New complaints trigger the same reactions as before.
- She doesn’t express her gratitude enough for how he enhances their life together. She takes him too far down the road that she abhors for herself—she takes him for granted. Men don’t argue against being taken for granted. However, when it morphs into his dissatisfaction with who he is and what he does, her likeability begins to fade.
- Because she doesn’t get enough attention and affection, he doesn’t live up to her expectations. She thinks he doesn’t deserve a lot of respect, confirmation of her dependence, and her gratitude. Mutual likeability declines.
- If her expectations change after they marry, she becomes a different woman than the bride he expected to live with. It disappoints a husband and weakens her likeability.
- She feels denied his attention, affection, and recognition of her contributions and importance. It programs her heart with resentment, resistance, and eventual bitterness. She questions the rightness of husband’s presence in her life. If he detects it, he takes offense, feels dissatisfied, and her likeability shrinks.
- She begrudges his always getting his way in present-day matters. Her competitive spirit drives her to resent him, even though he’s willing to let her run their relationship as she aims it into the future. Resentment poisons a woman’s likeability.
In short, the heart and mind that governs a wife’s life on behalf of wedded harmony determines how her marriage will proceed and succeed. Husband is in charge of keeping them together as a couple, she’s in charge of making married life worthwhile and satisfying.