Tag Archives: helpmate

1255. They Live Differently


Nature mandates it. Men and women live on different wavelengths. She’s a processor and he’s a producer, different missions for different folks.

Women live life. A woman processes life by assuming and juggling multiple responsibilities and relationships that she connects, manages, and aims at making her important and achieving happiness. She earns importance but she never reaches her ultimate happiness. Old responsibilities and new tasks always beckon. Thus, she remains a processor throughout life. Important as she becomes, her work is never done. It’s often overwhelming, she thinks, and she could surely use the assistance of a results-oriented man to resolve her most challenging problems. She has all that it takes to make such a mate happy.

Men shape life. A man produces results to make life tolerable at least and magnificent at best. His natural need for self-admiration keeps him focused on producing more and better, on accomplishing whatever earns admiration—his or that of others. His work is never done either, but disconnected responsibilities and accomplishments enable him to take time off. Whereas his woman always has something else to do, he can take a break without feeling guilty. He does so well accomplishing what he sets out to do that, he thinks, I can provide, protect, and make a mate happy if one would only support and appreciate my magnificent potential.

Consequently, men and women live differently. A woman focuses on people and things that make her feel important on the never-ending road to happiness. A man focuses on making life easier and more enjoyable for himself.

It’s their natural condition. It’s where they are when emotions, beliefs, and conscious thoughts bring man and woman together, drive them apart, or just make them tolerable or intolerable to be around. That’s the rest of the story!!!

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288. Chaste courtship works — Part 8


©  The more she likes herself as a female, the more outwardly dominant she can permit a man to be, because of high confidence about ultimately getting him to accept her way about her needs, wants, and desires in their life together.

©  Mr. Right does not arrive in her life. She turns the man in her life into the right man, and the process lasts as long as his devotion to her. To her mind, he never quite gets there. But, he also never finds out what she’s been doing—until it’s too late, and they are aging gracefully together.

©  Successful courtships belong to predominately hard-headed women who patiently and indirectly integrate mutual interests into a bright future together. Virtual virginity best holds his attention, while she works the scene.

©  Men grow their love for a woman from light-hearted feelings that he stumbles into—she’s attractive, fun, likeable, very respectable—and he slowly becomes magnetized by her other qualities. (Such as those at post 59.) 

©  Most women have two options: give of herself as a helpmate, or live life alone, lonesome, and often desperate. Young women claim it’s b…s…, but they’ve not aged yet either.

©  In courtship it pays for her to have high regard for and associate with many other people—not dating tho. He should not win her heart and mind completely until after they marry. The stick while courting, the carrot after marriage.

[More about making caste courtships work at posts 174, 163, 154, 143, 108, 107, and 100. Scroll down sequentially or search by the number with a dot and space following.]

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110. Matrimony or acrimony?


How women integrate and harmonize these factors into their marriage can determine the outcome.

§  Women are driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. This empowers them to become relationship experts, which positions them to know how to successfully swap interests with a man for marriage. Men have neither such expertise nor interest.

§  Men are driven to compete with Nature, against other men, and to control and shape human events. Their sex drive is but a subset, because women can easily tame male aggression and sex drive through social and personal values, standards, and expectations. (Men prefer fingernails on a slate chalk board to competing with women, especially their wife. Not in simple games, but in the major processes of life, in key decision-making and bringing home the bacon. Modern women do not like it, but they also do not like the marital collapse that follows when they don’t heed their man’s natural inclination.)

§  A woman instinctively needs a brighter future for her and her children. She seeks security of life, dependable relationships, and family cohesiveness. She seeks family, economic, and social stability. She seeks safety of health, life, and family. To fulfill these needs, she must give of herself to a help-mate, or do it alone and lonesome.

§  Men absolutely need only one thing, a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s ‘battles’. If she does not want to maintain at least a hut for him, someone else will.

§  Women do not absolutely need a man, but they want company. Her primal want is for a solid relationship with someone stronger and more influential in shaping events that impact her and her children. She wants help to brighten her future in a society dominated by powerful people. Two men won’t knowingly share her, so one man best fulfills her wants.

§  He wants the freedom to do as he chooses, especially to make himself stand out as a competitor, his own man, a man of significance.  He seeks the freedom to lay with her or play with her, to hunt or punt, rest or nest, read or lead, think or drink, farm or harm, glean or lean, produce or reproduce, or just do something new or exciting even in his spare time.  She must pay a continuing price for him to curtail his freedom in favor of her.

§  A woman’s time focus emerges from her primal need to brighten her future. Most of her present-day concerns were handled as part of yesterday’s future. She dreams a lot about enhancing and making her relationship more solid.

§  A man’s time focus emerges from his primal readiness to compete, which mandates that he focus on today and its problems. He knows full well he can solve tomorrow’s problems, when they arrive. Where women dream about the future, his primary concern for the future revolves around what he can do today to prepare for tomorrow. 

 

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