Tag Archives: her happiness

2865. Sex for Pleasure, Further Subjugation of Females


A new social tsunami approaches with the potential to make social and domestic matters much worse for females dealing with men.

Masculine-style sexual freedom turns women into sexual victims. It kills the usefulness of their love to fulfill female hopes and dreams. By yielding sex so easily, a man has little or no need for her love to keep him in her life. IOW, a woman’s greatest ability, her love, is reduced to a weakness. It worsens as the tsunami spreads.

The tsunami is pursuit of sex for pleasure, a porn amplifier strongly backed by men and the porn industry. Soon, if not already, it spreads as girls and young women adopt the practice of watching porn. It’s now popular and becoming more so. Soon if not already, it will go viral via social media as have other movements that freed up sexual customs.

Addiction of men easily arises when one seeks more and more pleasure and finds it in a process where character is irrelevant, resistance is minimal or discouraged, and men dominate females to the maximum. Where women forget that respect is instrumental to men loving a woman.

Women lack an understanding of how the male mind works and the female mind is only slightly different. The male mind works like this.

  • When his curiosity is stirred, a man’s imagination assesses whatever opportunity is available. Curiosity stirred by exposure of porn causes imagination to soar with prospects for viewing or participating.
  • One can change one’s mind, or even develop new habits by repeatedly and emotionally imagining something particular. With repetitions over time, it programs the heart accordingly to become new habit.
  • Repeated emotional viewing of porn thus transforms the male heart into habit of more viewing, and the pleasures of sex reprogram his heart accordingly. The result? Programmed porn exposure overwrites sexual urges for normal physical connection with women.
  • Pleasure is never an end, if greater pleasure is available. Consequently, the more porn is watched, the more addictive it becomes as greater pleasure is sought with new and more advanced techniques and options next time.

No one wants to face this aspect of the male nature. Men respect only those who earn it, and yielding to his dominance prevents earning it. When a man pokes his penis first time anywhere in a woman, she no longer can earn his respect with chastity, which is the strongest respect a female can earn. A status change takes place, and she loses. He confirms his domination to self and she becomes dominated and inferior, just as soon as she yields first time.

Oh, men can disagree or claim exception to what I write and they can even fake respect, but it’s not the same kind or degree of earned respect upon which a man’s love can be built and sustained.

It could be an old school ballad, he says he respect you in the morning, but will he love you that night? Your great-grannies knew how essential a man’s respect is to a man’s love.

Each of us has known sex for pleasure, but this social movement is something else. Pursuing sex for pleasure generates greater need for new, more, and different pleasures out of sexual activity. It makes new pleasures the ultimate achievement for both sexes, and the promise of more and better makes it addictive. It applies in both the video and real world.

Women are capable, but is it in their interest to participate with men? Can women find fulfillment in chasing sex for more pleasure, whether video or real? Men would say yes, because they want it. They simply don’t care to understand what fulfillment is to a woman, because women no longer respect their own need for it. In fact, the pursuit of sex for pleasure takes women down a road directly opposite to fulfilling their female hopes and dreams of living life with one man.

If one looks closely at the sex for pleasure environment, one can foresee this condition. Over time, seeking sex for pleasure will have an opposite effect on women.  A woman’s happiness grows out of her gratitude for who she is and what she has. Try to imagine this. In a position designed to maximize pleasure for man but not her, can she find gratitude in herself with what she’s doing? Anal fisting quickly comes to mind.

What can she do about it? She can do plenty, if she wants a mate badly enough. If she wants to be a better person than addictive to sex. If she can change into a feminine creature put together well in heart and mind. IOW, if she can restore herself to living according to her female nature. After all, it’s the only way to get the better of men and earn the superior role due her as a couple.

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2080. The Battle over House Work — Part III: How She Wins


This is a dynamite cocktail that should cause a big noise. Women find more and better ingredients for earning happiness when they do daily housework without involving their mate. I may never prove it to you but the following proves it to me (and I never thought it possible until first draft of this series.)

Recall from part I: She’s born to be happy; he’s born to be satisfied. She’s motivated to improve her self-importance and needs confirmation from others to spread her gratefulness and thus earn—not receive or find—happiness. He’s motivated to seek self-admiration and basically needs little confirmation to find satisfaction.

Recall from part II: When she thinks like a man and rewards herself for satisfaction, it pits her against him. They compete. She becomes jealous of his beating her because satisfaction is not the governor of the female heart and he so easily trumps her in that realm. When she pursues happiness instead of satisfaction as her daily goal, they become more compatible.

——

He’s simple and not much concerned with happiness. If he’s satisfied with himself, he’s relatively happy. His pursuits stop with satisfaction. Since a satisfied need no longer motivates, he reaches for something else at the end of an accomplishment or workday. His duty day ends long before bedtime.

Being more processor than producer by nature, her satisfaction comes from the little things she achieves. Example: Love never ends but kisses do. Shopping never ends but the last trip did. Nesting never ends but housekeeping ends at bedtime. Relationship management never ends except when sleep comes. Each little thing satisfies her—kisses, packages, dishes washed, she pleases someone.

She’s quite opposite and far more complex. Satisfaction is but a stepping stone rather than an achievement. However, it feeds gratefulness to herself for herself. Grateful that she’s capable and motivated to nest to her satisfaction and appreciation of hubby. Moreover, self-gratitude happens to be the entry toll for the highway to happiness.

Satisfaction from the dozens of little things each day make her grateful for herself. She can and did do those things, which adds to her sense of self-importance, which adds to her sense of self-gratitude, which enables her to be grateful for others and things, which places her on the endless highway to happiness.

What’s the nature of the relationship management beast that’s born when wife determines that husband should help with housekeeping?

  • She thinks in terms of equality, which is never achievable and she won’t like it when he makes nesting decisions that override hers.
  • She feels less important because he won’t agree or stir from his dominant convictions.
  • She takes on the role of competitor with assertiveness and eventually aggressiveness.
  • She blames him for her tiredness but he has no connection with that and doesn’t feel guilty.
  • She imposes guilt, which men reject or dispose of quickly from a competitor.
  • She becomes jealous of his inactivity, comfort, or diversions. Other things about him become wrong or intolerable. Tiny red flags creep into her psyche.
  • She envies his complacency about household things. Mistaking complacency for disinterest, anxiety mounts and she starts losing interest in keeping house and dedication to him.
  • She squelches her spirit of joy. It dissipates behind new expectations of not losing whatever arguments she has started.
  • She sets lose the beast of declining mutual respect, wherein she’s the biggest loser because his love is based on respect but hers is not.

So, what are the benefits when she takes full responsibility for housework and leaves him to his satisfying R&R? The benefits don’t accrue until she teaches herself to maximize her natural qualities designed to generate compatibility out of sex differences.

By not becoming jealous, envious, or anxious about hubby’s recovery habits, she enables herself to stay in tune with the positive side of her nature. Her worry can shift to future goals and not be entangled with his lounging, careless or carefree attitude. Her attitude can become more affirming of those around her. She can become more grateful for herself because of the peace and harmony she’s able to cultivate. Her spirit of joy can soar, which releases her to manage relationships from the highest possible position in life.

In short, she’s better able to put the full force of her nature into the nesting process—both relationship management and housekeeping. The former with feelings and the latter with labor. But the labor is not labor as commonly thought of. Repetition frees up her multitasking mind to address and solve issues, plan her immediate future, and simultaneously breathe a calming spirit into her home as things happen while she cleans.

She rules best who does the rest. It’s the pleasantness of mom’s nesting habits that kids carry into adulthood as her most endearing quality. The greatest love of mom—especially by men—arises out her strength of character and willingness to insist that everyone obey her rules within a never-in-doubt delivery of respect, trust, and affection. Contrary to what girls love to think, love does not cure all, and especially not cure men of habits misplaced in time and place.

By not taking offense at husband’s R&R habits, she enables herself to exemplify the goodness of woman. It frees her to more easily cultivate hubby to help when she needs it. For example:

  • She feels no guilt to ask him to help on tasks for which she has too little aptitude or strength. She can more easily detect tension and know how to convince him with gentleness and charm, which adds to her unique value within him.
  • She can pleasantly expect and patiently await his learning that certain things are his responsibility. When he accepts something as his duty, she has won from him also the sense that she’s worth it. Examples: 1) Men, not ladies, haul the trash. 2) Her duty is to clear and clean the floor. His duty is to deal with—other than back on the floor—whatever she picks up and places on his side of the bed or in his favorite chair but never spitefully. 3) If her commandment is a place for everything and everything in its place, and she lives by that code, then the family is easily taught that mom’s word is law and everyone falls in line. Husband included. It’s a technique right out of an imagined dominance handbook.
  • Free to dominate nesting routines, she can pleasantly expect that he live up to her standards. Examples: Make it habitual to lower both lid and seat when finished in the bathroom; light a candle before leaving a stinky bathroom; help clean up after she supports entertaining his associates.

I surprised myself with this article. I fell for the pop culture spirit that expands male dominance. It previously seemed fair to harangue hubby for dodging housework.

Now I object based on the strength, patience, and other qualities embedded in each female at birth. Girlhood hopes and dreams boil down to this as the predominant objective. A happy life with a loveable and loving husband, loveable and loving children, and sailing together into the sunset of their lives in total harmony.

Of course such dreams require a lot of work. Not strange to me, but women have every quality to make it work in a two-step process. First, they find and develop ways to be grateful for themselves each and every day. Second, they find and develop the habit to respect, trust, show affection, and show gratefulness to those around them. If others don’t deserve that out of her, she isn’t following her heart but her propagandized conscious mind.

 

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2078. The Battle over House Work — Part I: Who They Are


The different expectations and disputes over house work start with major, inborn, deep-rooted differences between men and women. I neither alibi nor justify on behalf of either sex. I explain how they are born differently and tend to behave accordingly.

First, the highest order of their differences. She’s born to be happy; he’s born to be satisfied. She’s motivated to improve her self-importance and needs the confirmation of others. Getting confirmation makes her happy. He’s motivated to seek self-admiration but doesn’t need confirmation. Earning self-admiration satisfies him.next

Second, let’s summarize who they are and nest post 2079 will describe how they interact as the result.

HIM. A man’s prime motivator to earn self-admiration doesn’t end when his workday is over. He seeks to accomplish other things, including some way to celebrate and reward himself for a day well done. He’s satisfied with himself, and it’s time for reward. IOW, he has a prescribed period each day for earning satisfaction, after which he’s ready for clicker, beer, and prospects of an enjoyable dinner. I don’t claim that men deserve it, but that their inborn nature drives them to doing it. Unless and until they are seduced, lured, or otherwise recruited by their woman to do something else. One reward for earning satisfaction is the privilege to decide for themselves what to do after work.

Basically, men accomplish things for themselves, but they marry when willing to use their ability to provide/protect others in exchange for the promise one woman holds for fostering and supporting his efforts outside the home. Deny his self-declared form of rewarding his accomplishments, and that same mate turns him toward self-centeredness with unexpected consequences that his dependents don’t appreciate.

Men are not motivated to seek happiness. If satisfied, they claim to be happy but that’s the extent of their concern with it.

HER. A woman’s primal need is for a brighter future and there’s never an end in sight. It can always be made brighter with more effort by her or others. She always has something else that needs to be done. Very unlike men. Also, her prime motivator to embellish her sense of self-importance doesn’t end daily because her home always requires maintenance materially, spiritually, emotionally, or domestically. Homework as opposed to housework. Men don’t do relationship maintenance, and so she inherits that burden too. She combines all her self-assigned responsibilities about what needs to be done before this day ends in order to shape tomorrow and the future. She follows her endless and constantly juggled priority list.

She needs a feeling of gratefulness for herself; it’s the first step to earning happiness. She finds gratitude in her ability and influence to nest and raise children in a peaceful atmosphere created by her. Leaning on that foundation of self-gratitude, she finds gratefulness in other people and things. Grateful for her mate, each child, friends, her home, his job, her job, cars, family’s good fortune, adequate bank balance, food available, health, wealth, church, friends, neighborhood, city, state, country. The list is endless if she but looks.

Her happiness rises as she finds gratitude outside herself. But she can find no more than she’s grateful for herself, which arises out of the way she continually brightens her future in the home. Dare I say it? —by homework as opposed to housework and partially after her mate has entered his daily R&R expecting to avoid ‘hard labor’.

In pursuit of happiness, women are not satisfied with being satisfied. There’s always more to come or do in the pursuit of happiness.

Next post 2079 revolves around what they do about his R&R.

 

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2053. Her Happiness vs. His Satisfaction


This sex difference brings compatibility to the marital table. Born to be happy, she has to earn happiness. Born to be satisfied, he finds it in daily accomplishments. She primarily is motivated to continually find self-importance and associating with others is critical. Others are not so critical until he invites them into his life. He primarily is motivated to find self-admiration in his daily endeavors. Success brings happiness to her and satisfaction to him. But the process is far more complex for her.

Earning Her Happiness. Energized to be happy doesn’t do it. She has to earn happiness little by little through a distinct process. She strives to make herself important but she can’t do it directly (important as a woman, that is). She depends on confirmation from others. She shows gratitude to them, and their appreciation reflects back to confirm her self-importance. IOW, she trades gratitude for self-importance.

However, she can’t give what she doesn’t have, so self-gratitude limits how self-important she sees herself. Consequently, her happiness depends solely on her. If that confuses, think of it this way. She identifies how grateful she is for herself, finds ways to be grateful for others, receives importance in return, and her many-times compounded sense of self-importance transmutes into happiness. (Gratitude for things provides no feedback of her importance except as she convinces herself and that fades away quickly. A new car, for example, can be analogous to the new picture she hangs but whose importance is taken for granted so quickly that it fades conscious notice after three or four days. The car can’t appreciate her and so it’s self-determined importance fades perhaps after a few months.)

Satisfaction for Him. He strives to do things that bring self-admiration. He doesn’t need admiration by others but it helps according to how well he respects the admirer. He earns satisfaction from his accomplishments, actual and imagined, but mostly from his job. So, he’s easily and almost continually satisfied. Maturity brings both opportunity and willingness to enable others to depend on his ability, the root of his self-admiration. He lets others see his worth as a producer and offers himself as their protector. His heart tells him that he can produce more wealth for himself and worth for others with the proper encouragement and support. And the loop closes for his participation as a mate. He need only find a woman with high promise for supporting and encouraging him in his endeavors, future but mostly the present.

Men are born to be satisfied and they come by it easily. Unless their childhood pushes initiative, ambition, or sense of responsibility out of their minds, they find satisfaction in their work, projects, and accomplishments. Men neither think nor talk much about happiness. It’s bound up almost inseparably in their satisfaction, which comes so easily out of routine habits. They are basically happy when they have something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to. [Until I come up with a better one, I borrow the description in the last sentence from Brad Thor’s current best seller novel, the Art of War.]

 

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2031. Female Blessings at Birth — 40-42


I continue asking for your agreement/disagreement on the long list of blessings that women inherit at birth. This is the 14th group of three blessings, and I’m grateful for your earlier responses.

With each item, do you agree that you and other females inherit it at birth? Or, is it something you and others learn later in life? False means that the item is missing completely from your heart, it’s something you learned during life, or you just don’t think women are born that way.

You probably wonder or have forgotten, why have I compiled the list? I hope to close the gaps and shortcomings in this sequence of results that women seem to be achieving so poorly.

  • A woman’s happiness depends primarily on the gratefulness that accumulates in and shines outward from her heart.
  • Women can only be as grateful for others and things as they are individually grateful for who and what they are as a person, woman, wife, mother, girlfriend, granny, church-goer, encourager, Christian, Jew, American, Korean, employee, and on and on and on…. The key term being grateful for self, self-gratitude.
  • Women will or should be more grateful for themselves as individuals if they are aware of just how magnificently they have been designed, endowed, and energized to be the key players in life and compatible with themselves, others, and especially a lifetime mate.

Where I explain or add, I could be wrong. Feel free to challenge me. I’m not trying to be right, just searching for truth—as close as we can get it. I search for the blessings that contribute and encourage women to use their irresistible force to override the immovable object of male dominance.

These are the blessings for today.

40. From the earliest age it made perfect sense to me that men provide and protect their families. Thus, as the family faces the outside world, the man is the primary foundation upon which everyone depends. [Guy adds: Compared with the other (currently) 88 blessings, I am less sure that this one arrives with birth. However, it becomes evident so early in toddlerhood that it fits in as if it does.]

41. My fear of being abandoned has always energized me to promote the interest and seal an attachment with the man closest to me, first father followed by boyfriend and husband. [Guy adds: The female nature is designed, endowed, and hormonally driven to associate with others. Isolation scares the independence out of them, and they feel isolated not so much when they don’t have a man as they do at the loss of whatever man they ‘possess’. It brings to attention this generality about the sexes. Women fear loss of something, more than not earning it. Men fear not earning things more than they fear loss of the same things. When men are unable to earn—respect, money, dependence on their worth, self-admiration—it devastates their spirit. When they lose something, they know they can recover it through their inherent ability to earn whatever they choose.]

42. Even when I heard discouraging words in girlhood, I knew that I would do certain things of my own choosing, that someday I would be the primary facilitator (self-developer) to make my future become what I wanted. (Later, my girlhood dreams told me that it would depend on the choices I made, husband I chose, and relationship we developed with my relationship expertise.) [Guy adds: Children are born with the firm conviction that they intend to develop themselves. Boys don’t concern themselves with the HOW, they just do it. Girls seek more precision and comfort within themselves. Self-development starts in toddlerhood and continues for life. Admittedly both sexes exhibit it too immaturely for most parents to understand and many to refuse to accept. But the primal urge is there. Girls will seek advice and assistance; they want to have someone go along with them either in spirit or company. Their low guilt threshold makes them cautious. Boys seek to single-handedly figure out and overcome restrictions and obstructions. Choosing playmates is a major test bed, shaper, and refiner of self-development efforts, which is why it causes much grief for parents.]

Thank you for your opinion. More blessings to follow in a day or two.

 

 

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429. Sex and fickle girl — Part 19


☼ By focusing on her man’s weaknesses and faults, she loses gratefulness for him. Her unhappiness rises as her ingratitude grows.

☼ She rules the successful home, but he thinks that he does. Only she can oil all the squeaky wheels, quiet all the frictions, and merge self-interests into us-interests. But she learns it best by doing such things in courtship.

Her hard-headedness tames the right man. Her soft-heartedness fine tunes the right man.

Modern men marry with fingers crossed, or lawyer’s fee saved up knowing that she will change from the woman he married.

Mothers are best equipped to play good cop and fathers to play bad cop. Mother MUST discipline, but father’s greatest effect comes as her back up.

Kids learn early to play one parent against the other. It’s their nature. Only coordinated prevention by parents stymie their doing it.

When wife is the main breadwinner, husband’s significance diminishes. He may act graciously and adjust to it, but it makes him long for someone else to highlight and uplift his importance.

Wife claims her husband to be inadequate or fault-filled, and he shortly lives up to her self-fulfilling prophecy.

A woman that builds her nest to suit only herself soon finds faults in her man. A woman that builds their home to please her man finds worth in her man. His worth leads to her gratefulness, which brings happiness for her.  

 

 

 

 

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