Tag Archives: her qualities

288. Chaste courtship works — Part 8

©  The more she likes herself as a female, the more outwardly dominant she can permit a man to be, because of high confidence about ultimately getting him to accept her way about her needs, wants, and desires in their life together.

©  Mr. Right does not arrive in her life. She turns the man in her life into the right man, and the process lasts as long as his devotion to her. To her mind, he never quite gets there. But, he also never finds out what she’s been doing—until it’s too late, and they are aging gracefully together.

©  Successful courtships belong to predominately hard-headed women who patiently and indirectly integrate mutual interests into a bright future together. Virtual virginity best holds his attention, while she works the scene.

©  Men grow their love for a woman from light-hearted feelings that he stumbles into—she’s attractive, fun, likeable, very respectable—and he slowly becomes magnetized by her other qualities. (Such as those at post 59.) 

©  Most women have two options: give of herself as a helpmate, or live life alone, lonesome, and often desperate. Young women claim it’s b…s…, but they’ve not aged yet either.

©  In courtship it pays for her to have high regard for and associate with many other people—not dating tho. He should not win her heart and mind completely until after they marry. The stick while courting, the carrot after marriage.

[More about making caste courtships work at posts 174, 163, 154, 143, 108, 107, and 100. Scroll down sequentially or search by the number with a dot and space following.]


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161. The high cost of cheap sex—07

Women spend their lives hoping it ain’t so, but unmarried sex leads ultimately to split up. Women fail to respect, tame, and overcome the hormone hurricane nature of men. Women face many hazards.

1.      When she provides him with frequent and convenient sex for anything less than marriage, to him she cheapens herself, the institution of marriage, and their relationship.

2.      Sex attracts a man, but it provides her with no holding power over him. What bonds her does not bond him. This reduces the attractiveness of marriage for him.

3.      Conquest releases him to conquer someone else. It doesn’t mean he will toss her aside right away, but it dramatically lowers her sex value relative to unconquered women. He shifts toward temporariness; after their first sex together, his hormones take over and focus on other options. Of course, it’s not fair.

4.      Romantic love fades in a year or two for them both. Infatuation and lust fade sooner. Each fade-out further lowers her value to him as sex partner. So, even if he stays with her that long, relationship ennui sets in. When men have boredom problems, they seek excitement.

5.      After a few months or years she’s aware of relationship problems, blames him, and expects him to meet her expectations. Blame pushes him into defensive mode to prove her wrong. She thus violates her relationship management expertise; he starts looking for other options.  

6.      The availability of cheap sex outside the home makes cheating more attractive, and he’s not burdened with vows. Perhaps he’s burdened with verbal commitment, but that has the stick-together strength of neither devotion nor vows.

7.      The lack of marriage vows eases his conscience. It enables rationalizations and relieves guilt when boredom becomes overbearing, some gal seduces him, or a start-over trophy appears on the scene.

8.      Since sex does not hold him, she needs her qualities of character, femininity, and soft-heartedness to hold him. He learns subliminally about these strengths and qualities while looking for weaknesses to get her in bed. Conquest dramatically slows his learning about her attributes.

All of this is centered around sex, which is the theme women have to downplay and overcome to keep a man.

Marriage before sex adds the best insurance. She loses dominance of their relationship after conquest. He takes control of their sexual agenda then, or else he departs. So, she loses influence one way or him the other.

When she insists on holding out for marriage and makes sure he gets exposed to and appreciates her other strengths and qualities, she can win his devotion. The kind that holds a man closely. It doesn’t mean she will keep him forever, but her odds improve dramatically.

She dominates the relationship before conquest. He dominates it afterward. The dominant partner leads, and the other follows. The longer she dominates, the greater her influence after conquest.   



Filed under courtship

97. Do women know jack about Jack?—Part 3

Men adapt, obligate, and learn to devote themselves to a woman that refuses to yield sexually. Her hard-headed and unyielding behavior keeps his attention focused on her. If he refuses to grow that way to meet her expectations for her man, then he’s not really into her as potential mate.

  Just as sex does, fashionable attire, charming words, and fun activity help capture a man. But her other-than-sexual attributes hold him beyond the fading of romantic love.

A major facet of a man’s sense of significance rests upon his woman’s faithfulness—and especially his not having to face men who have had her or even know of someone who has.

A man discovers a woman’s non-sexual attributes while searching for weaknesses in order to conquer her. After conquest his search intensity fades away, and her remaining qualities become less dramatically uncovered.

A man does not need refreshment and comfort with a friendly, attractive, and encouraging mate, but he never stops looking if he lacks it.

A man’s conquering nature is not quieted down by either her giving love or providing sex—only by one woman’s non-sexual attributes that magnetize his devotion to her and their family.

♂ A man’s devotion to wife and marriage are not the same. The former is based on his heart, his feelings for her. The latter is based on his mind, values, principles, vows, and his word—to the extent that he honors such things.

A man’s ego reflects his sense of significance and vice versa.

A man’s fruitless pursuit of sex with a woman enables his commitment to evolve into devotion for her. In the process of trying harder, he learns to respect her more and see her as different from the others.

♂ A man’s loyalty to wife and family is cultivated best by a woman mentally and emotionally committed to nesting, nurturing, and nestling in the home.

[More jack about Jack appears at posts 91 and 7.]

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