Tag Archives: her self-love

2759. Outer Beauty Attracts, Inner Beauty Captures and Holds

Born to believe she is pretty, it underwrites both a gal’s personality and sense of self-importance. If she follows the primary motivational force in her life, then she reinforces her sense of self-importance by making herself more important to others. From an inborn and deep resource of self-love, she spreads love to those of her choosing in the process of routinely confirming her self-importance.

Born believing himself to be handy, it underwrites a boy or man’s quickness to judge, enlarges his self-interest in girls and women, and upgrades a gal’s body shape from female prettiness to feminine beauty. It’s a matter of choice that matches each male’s attraction to the opposite sex. Why the difference between female and feminine? In the mind of the hunter-conqueror, female means sexually available and feminine means she may be good for more than that, the ultimate of which would be mating for an extended period.

Note this connection: I started with her natural prettiness and ended with a mate. What happens in between spins the social and domestic arenas of life. Emerson said “The world turns on hope.” Guy says, The world of females turns on how women appear, appeal to men, and harmonize compatibly within each couple. The world of males turns on how females make sex available or unavailable with or without obligation. In the end, access to premarital sex enables men to rule women through dominance, whereas obligated access enables women to govern relationships until compatible mates develop, mature, and avoid separation.

Over the long run, each pretty woman is beautiful only to the man or men who call her that. Moreover, it pays for each woman to upgrade her inner beauty, which she can improve, rather than upgrading her outer beauty, which depends on the opinion of someone else.

Prettiness is the root of a woman’s inner beauty, which is the foundation of the beauty a man sees in her. In the real world that leads to marital success, it’s as if both sexes play solitaire. She plays the game of maximizing inner beauty; she avoids trying to convince others of anything more attractive than she is inside herself. He plays the game of finding her weaknesses that may get her into his bed and accidentally discovers her inner beauty, provided that she delays conquest long enough.

IOW, she indirectly enhances what some man will see as her beauty by ‘doctoring’ up the prettiness of her personality, likeability, admirable character, smiling outlook, pleasant attitude, and living by her heart. She focuses on what she’s born with more than living by her mind and the unappealing lessons learned in life, such as how men think. Perhaps not so for particular moments, but clothing that matches her inner beauty is more appealing to men than clothing that attracts men sexually.  

In that way, improved prettiness motivates a woman to look better, which motivates men to more easily call her beautiful, which adds feminine worth that pushes men to upgrade masculine decisions about women, which makes the world turn slower or faster depending on how women appear and appeal, which enables women to determine better what obligations are necessary before they yield sex to a man of interest to capture and keep.


NOTE: I previously mentioned that coverage of the subject of intimacy was coming soon. While the subject is simple, it is connected with other concepts. I’m still working on a project tougher than I envisioned when I announced it.


Filed under boobs, courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Her glory, How she wins, marriage, sex differences, The mind

2754. Life Made Simpler for Women — 15

  1. Sex bonds a woman but not a man. Their having first sex together does not produce the fallout that women expect, and it can devastate her after she becomes aware of it.
  2. Don’t try to impress a date with a romantic dinner at your place; romantic to you isn’t encouraging to him. Better to feed him in a comfortable atmosphere that encourages his romantic initiative. Men do comfort naturally and do romance to impress or get close to a woman.
  3. Conquest of a woman confirms a man’s self-admiration and reinforces self-satisfaction for goal achievement. It frees and nudges him to locate and move toward another sex target. Before conquest, his mind was made up that she’s a keeper, good for booty, or disposable. (His nature works that way more than it being her fault.)
  4. Men chase women endlessly. They try to spread seed because of an unconditional primal urge to conquer that rivals mother love in intensity, drive, and permanence. His ability expires but thoughts survive; ambitions fade but dreams persist of what might have been.
  5. Getting competitively in husband’s face for wife to win her way causes marital wrecks. Among other advantages possessed by females, cooperation enables wives to keep husband focused on getting his way in the present while she focuses on getting her way in the future.
  6. Men seek sex to admire themselves, while women seek romance to confirm their importance. If women don’t stand up for themselves to reinforce their self-respect, then disrespect of females dominate the social marketplace and frustrate female dreams. Men don’t give respect for no reason; it has to be earned.
  7. Women are born loaded with self-love that enables them to love others. Not so with regard to respect. As born, women lack self-respect, and they can’t give what’s not in their hearts. They earn self-respect as young girls doing chores and other accomplishments that match up with their feminine nature. As they mature, they can show heartfelt respect for boys and men.
  8. Men are born loaded with self-respect but lacking in self-love. They learn to love themselves as young boys doing manly chores and masculine accomplishments that match up and smooth out their unpolished nature. After they develop successfully, they can show heartfelt love for girls and women.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, How she loses, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

1563. Friendly Reminders — #29

  • Many surprises that come later have roots in a couple’s first sex together. It’s a highly consequential event for the man and hangs much of the scenery for what follows on their stage.
  • Jack can love a woman, but Jill shouldn’t expect his love to be as unconditional, intense, and inseparable as hers. Other allegiances about work and other interests work against it. She sees it as leftover independence.
  • Women need and thrive on self-love, and mirror time builds, reinforces, and improves it.
  • Feasting through their ears as women do, many fool themselves by accepting words of commitment in lieu of actions that display devotion.
  • Promiscuity softens a woman’s natural hard-headedness and hardens her natural soft-heartedness.
  • Without self-love, she’s uncertain about good and bad for her, torn between needs and wants, indecisive about her importance among others, and substitutes instant gratification for long-range interests.
  • Radicals, revolutionaries, and activists declared war on men and gave birth to Feminism. Adverse effects and social debris still fall on every woman and impact every child.
  • Over four decades women disallowed and disrespected masculine feedback about feminist theory and dogma. Now, modern women don’t know men, and what they do know is mostly wrong.
  • Husbands lose their sense of personal responsibility because wives value their own independence so greatly that they become ungrateful for whatever their man does do.


Filed under Dear daughter

1522. Friendly Reminders — #12

  • Immature women act desperate to have a boyfriend, compulsive to keep one, and dress sloppily to reflect faux independence. Males view them as unimpressive for much beyond sex (aka lacking virtue). 
  • A woman’s love arises out of her self-love combined with hopes and dreams for a bright future with a man. She has three options to work toward: To be cherished, which misleads her. To get his commitment, which disadvantages her. Or, to generate his devotion, which significantly improves her odds for marital success.
  • As with all of us, Jack performs better when he lives for something bigger or higher than himself. Another reason why married men are more successful and live longer than their uncommitted, unattached male brothers. Devotion to spouse thus adds to one’s life.
  • Abraham Lincoln said a man is about as happy as he makes up his mind to be. Not so with women. Women are as happy as they can find and appreciate things for which they are grateful. Gratitude transmutes into happiness in her heart, when she repeatedly identifies, expresses, and reinforces her gratefulness in her mind.
  • The softheaded woman ignorantly thinks that removing the mystery and disclosing her sexual history makes a man appreciate her. Actually, it provides him ammunition for later squabbles and disrespecting her.


Filed under Dear daughter

1096. Sex Differences Do Matter #18

  • Love at first sight applies only to men—his eyes can get him emotionally involved such that conquest loses immediate importance. Love at first encounter applies to women—a man’s potential as mate registers much higher than his appearance.
  • Dealing with men, women are very effective when they smile, use indirectness, and keep opinions and emotions to their selves. Dealing with women, men are neither so inclined nor as effective.
  • Words are very valuable and meaningful to women. They feast with their ears. Words are less so for men. They feast with their eyes and actions are more meaningful and valuable for judgment.
  • The primary love of females is Self-love. The primary love of males is performance and accomplishments—sex, work, athletics, problem-solving, producing, protecting, conquering specific females, capturing girl of their dreams, and whatever else adds to an individual’s sense of significance.
  • She appreciates (and even expects) gifts given for no reason. He appreciates gifts given for something he’s done.
  • Confusion strongly motivates men to seek resolution as part of their problem-solving nature. Women live much easier with confusions, dilemmas, and ambiguities.
  • Men recognize that greater female attractiveness adds beauty in their world. IOW, the more attractive any woman is, the greater is the value of her gender. Women aren’t energized that way. They make themselves attractive for themselves and not for the general world in which they live.


Filed under sex differences

625. Random Thoughts — Group 2

♦       Love is never enough. Too many little negatives interfere, and too few positives support it.

♦       Modern men have many malpractices for dealing with women and living with one. But men are trainable, when women set their mind to it.

♦       When women want a man more than their dignity and self-respect, they invariably choose poorly.

♦       A woman’s self-love determines her capacity for reliably loving a man. Bitchiness and critical attitude signal a shortage.

♦       Challenge for Wives: When telling him about what happened to you today, try telling it such that he responds with the rarest words a wife ever hears from husband, “Tell me more.”

♦       I wonder what would happen if a woman dressed up for work above and beyond whatever is standard and expected at her place of employment—for example: more feminine, less casual, neater sense of professionalism, etc. Actually I know what would happen. First, other women would dislike them for it. Second, the men would show more attention, respect, and appreciation. Third, other women would gradually follow suit to keep up with leader of the pack. Fourth, it would become a better place to work.     

♦       I credit someone else for this, but I love it: Mother and child is basic Nature. Joining them with a man is basic civilization. I could add: Marriage arranges and the family unit stabilizes civilization.


Filed under Dear daughter

596. Hits as Benefits — II

☼    Instead of bragging about hits they receive and out-competing their girlfriends, modern women compete with men. On one hand they’re starved for manly attention, and on the other they discourage compliments by turning unwanted sexual advances into harassment.

☼    Most unwanted sexual advances are compliments. If not intended that way, her smile surprises, disarms him, and adds ridicule to her rejection. If intended as compliment, a smile makes her prettier and rewards him. Both guys wonder what their impact will be.

☼    Unwanted sexual advances test a female’s self-love. Squelching hits with a smile reinforces her self-reliance and self-image, however poorly she may feel temporarily.

☼    Women usually take offense only when they don’t like his looks, or they’re committed to someone else. But how’s a guy supposed to know that? 

☼    Smiling at hits aka compliments—even from unwanted guys—indirectly adds value to her. Nasty responses make her appear ugly, and men feast with their eyes. The absence of nasty confirms and a smile enhances her prettiness.

☼    Of course she may not like handling hits and disposing of offenders. But she should for several reasons: She’s being asked to show off her  prettiness. Success strengthens her character. It’s a God-given weapon in the battle of the sexes. It helps women bring men into the camp of female friendliness, instead of harassment officials driving them out.

Ideas for shaping her workplace environment show up in posts 597-599.


Filed under Fickle female