Tag Archives: her soft-heartedness

1903. Compatibility Axioms #41-50


41. Without marrying them, men see women as completely entitled to try hard, harder, and hardest not to yield. Men protect their own assets that way. Also, they don’t expect to yield freedom just because a woman yields sex, so she’s seen as a competitor and her hard-headedness generates challenge to his manly skill.

42. If a man doesn’t have to earn her for marriage, she’s not all that valuable to him. If she’s eager and willing and intends to win him, then he thinks contrary to her wishes. First, it’s not his idea. Second, she must be      desperate or worse. Third, let’s get back to sex.

43. Before she marries is the most effective time for a woman’s natural hard-headedness to shine. Not hard-headed to tell men what to do but to protect her sexual assets; convince them of her values, standards, and expectations; and indirectly convey the thought that they must win her to have her.

44. During dating and courtship is the most effective time for a woman’s soft-heartedness to dull. Soft heart never won brave knight.

45. After they marry is the appropriate time for a woman’s soft-heartedness to be continually polished into a bright reflection and example for the family. Soft-heartedness charms husband into remaining responsible for family and grown children to want to visit mom.

46. After they marry, wife’s hard-headedness doesn’t free up Mr. Good Enough to morph into Mr. Right. If he does what she says all the time, she will lose respect for him. If he takes her expectations too readily, he won’t realize his greatest potential for brightening their future.

47. Women mistakenly think that sex the first time with a man is the same as sexual events that follow. Not so. A man changes dramatically after conquering a woman. He inherits certain ‘rights’ of the conqueror that shape their relationship for life.

48. The ease with which a woman yields sex their first time together tells the man how dominant he can be and how submissive he expects her to be. The ratio that results shapes their relationship till the end.

49. Sex neither before nor after marriage holds a man. Sex bonds her but not him. By violating their nature with promiscuous sex for the sake of sex, even married women later find their lives much emptier than planned, intended, or hoped. Bond with their man doesn’t satisfy their childhood hopes and dreams.

50. Sex after marriage is totally his due, because he gave up his freedom in exchange for frequent, convenient, and on-demand sex, except when he decides to obey her needs or grant her wishes. (Readers, don’t read too much into it. It’s his nature in the raw that is usually cooked by experience into something more reasonable.)

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1846. Sex Difference Redux—Part 89: Where Love Begins—05


Romantic love begins in his eyes and your ears. Enduring love begins with your knowledge of men generally, your man particularly, and yourself intrinsically. Ingredients that require harmonizing in your relationship continue with another ten soundbytes.

41. You expect frequent gifts and signs of his giving heart to symbolize your man’s affection and, hopefully, unconditional love. He expects frequent appreciation and unconditional respect as signs of your dependence on him.

42. Your man expects the privilege of doing many things that do not necessarily concern you. You expect him to do things almost exclusively for and preferably with you and your children. Your expectations clash easily; he lacks your ability to harmonize those often-conflicting expectations.

43. You envy his freedom from family and you’re jealous when he exploits it. His nature doesn’t inspire him to think much about your lack of freedom from the kids. It’s another example of clashing expectations for which you’re better equipped to harmonize.

44. Your man respects and consequently falls prey to the mysterious, to what he can’t have, can’t earn, and can’t mastersuch as female modesty or a chaste female. You are more pragmatic, which inspires you to take advantage of such masculine uniqueness.

45. You tie love and sex together but consider love more important. Your man perceives it differently. Sex is a necessity but love is unessential. He accepts the combined results, because they have a pleasurable and anxiety-quieting effect on him, which produces a taming effect of him for her.

46. Your hard-headedness captures your man by charming, coaxing, and wheedling him away from his habit of trying to dominate you excessively. Your soft-heartedness keeps him.

47. Your love emanates from emotional connections with your own life and into which some attractive man enters. Your man’s love arises proportional to his unconditional respect for women generally and conditional respect for one woman particularly.

48. Conquest changes your man. He is no longer ‘in the hunt’ for you. Marriage changes you. Your new husband can be made better, and you’re just the one to improve him.

49. Dealing with the opposite sex, your man’s natural strength lies with directness and your best choice, tactic, and strength lies with indirectness.

50. You naturally dominate the future because your greatest need is for it to be brighter. Your man naturally dominates the present because of his interest in efficiency, effectiveness, competition, and results. (Male-dominated religions reject those natural imperatives. Our Judeo-Christian culture frees up and enables women to exploit those sex-unique forces of Nature to the advantage of women and children.)

Hundreds of sex differences determine the outcomes of your interactions with men and your man. This ends the first 50 differences, but many more follow at ten per post.

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1029. Keepers for Keepers—Assortment 28


  • A woman that parents her man slowly crushes his sense of significance.
  • A man needs control over certain domains of family life for him to be successful to himself. If not successful, he’s not likely to be adequate for his woman.
  • A man focuses primarily on provider-protector and needs a lot of feminine coaching to fully accept the friend, faithful mate, husband, father, affection-giver, and devoted-lover roles that his woman expects.
  • Girls and single women submit to male conquest just to have a boyfriend. From it boys and men presume they’re submissive about everything.
  • She’s primarily focused on the future through long term lenses; she’s successful when tomorrow’s events are under her control.
  • When women act like men, men treat them as other guys—as competitors and eligible for harsh comments and physical handling.  
  • Marriage requires women to rely on their soft-heartedness, and premarital hard-headedness helps invoke wifely decisions.
  • Women flourish with a man’s love, and it arises from his respect for women generally and one woman particularly.
  • Girls should know better than to share female uniqueness with boys. Female mystery is too powerful to expose to the immature.

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1009. Coffee and Tea with Mrs. G. — #19


Ladies: With your coffee, donut, and these, I hope to please!

  • Perceptions are reality, so whatever appears to be, is. (This causes suspicious wives to send subliminal messages they know better than to send.)
  • The more parents show respect before children think they earn it, the more children respect their parents. (The self-fulfilling prophecy works both positively and negatively.)
  • When wife competes with husband, she loses. He married to have her cooperate with him. (Harmonizing their agendas should be her main agenda.)
  • Success in mothering requires mutual harmonizing of everyone’s agenda. (It arises from unique feminine talents and qualities that men lack.)
  • Women intuitively know that smiling makes them prettier, but they have difficulty finding reason to do so. (The more and harder they try to find reasons, the less they smile.)
  • If a woman lets her soft-heartedness outshine her hard-headedness in her daily life, she smiles much of the time. (She first has to like herself though.)
  • Fail to plan and you plan to fail. (Author unknown)
  • Non-routine actions and accomplishments discourage and cure depression. (OTOH, if she keeps pulling back to simplify her life and focus on herself, then her emotions internalize and smother her sense of worthiness.)

Have a great day, Ladies.

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794. Marital Success


Many factors make or break a marriage. The following are differences that tend to seal the deal for success, ‘dabs of glue’ as it were.

  • She’s mostly hard-headed and competes with him during courtship. She’s primarily soft-hearted and cooperates with him after marriage.
  • Men seek relationships for fun and functionality. Women seek relationships for emotional comfort.
  • She loves her man completely. He predominantly loves his work or whatever he does to prove himself to himself.  
  • Husband produces, provides, protects, and problem solves, which proves his value to himself. He does it to prove himself to her, if she appreciates and rewards him.   
  • Wives expect husbands to be romantic, but romance slows a man’s conquering nature. Men are as attractively romantic as a woman requires before she accepts foreplay or sex. (Courtship provides time and opportunity to teach him to measure up to what she expects in marriage.)
  • Romance and foreplay usually precede sexual union. Men must be taught the details patiently and indirectly, or women eventually find their man lacking in one or the other.
  • When a couple starts to split up, it often starts here: Women marry expecting their man to change, but he doesn’t. Men marry expecting their wife not to change, but she does. [I credit an unknown emailer from years ago for this one.]

AND SHE SAYS: You put the entire burden on women. What about husbandly obligations?

AND GUY SAYS: Good point, but women have for decades been hearing about male inadequacies, outrageousness, irresponsibility, incompetence, inconsiderateness, selfishness, self-centeredness, and everything else that supports blaming men for relationship failures. This blog focuses on What Women Never Hear.

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721. Gender Differences Revisited — Group H


  1. She expects frequent gifts and unconditional giving as signs of her man’s affection. He expects frequent recognition and unconditional respect as sign of his importance to her.
  2. A man wants the privilege to do many things that do not necessarily concern his woman. A woman wants her man doing things almost exclusively for and preferably with her and her children.
  3. She envies his freedom from family but is jealous when he takes it. He doesn’t think much about her lack of freedom from the kids.
  4. Males respect and fall prey to the mysterious and what they can’t have, can’t earn, and can’t master such as a chaste female. Females are more pragmatic, because men are not so unique.
  5. She seeks his faithfulness and must trust. He expects continual guarantee of her faithfulness, and he deduces it from her daily actions.
  6. Women tie love and sex together. Men don’t.
  7. Her hard-headedness captures a man. Her soft-heartedness keeps him.
  8. A woman’s love emanates from her emotional connections with her own life and into which some attractive man enters. A man’s love arises proportional to his respect for women generally and one woman specifically.

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527. LOVE vs. RESPECT — Section V


As husbands need lessons on HOW to love wives, females need to be taught HOW to respect men. Not talking about respect due because of male dominance, but respect due from women in spite of male dominance. The former is routine, the latter endorses and reinforces a man’s self-respect.

     The military leadership model in article 523 shows the importance of masculine self-respect in governing manly behavior.

     Scream all you want, but this is true. Innocent touching of male by female friend or associate—pat on back, etc.—passes strong messages of trust, which reinforces his self-respect. She has the skill, if she develops it, to also confirm the touch as innocent and not a call for his imagination to get excited.

     His hard-headedness reflects back from life’s mirror as self-respect. He governs his life to wipe out distortions or polish up smears that appear from time to time. 

     Her soft-heartedness shines into life’s prism and emerges in various colors of love. She governs her life to keep the colors clear and bright.

     Seeds are planted in childhood. Females learn by watching mom relate to dad. Unfortunately, because of so many fractured homes, daughters learn more about showing disrespect than respect.

     More seeds: Mom insists that children show respect for father, more than he earns or deserves. As with the military model, it’s rank and not holder that deserves the respect.

     Outside their love interests, women see far less need for mutual respect. Inside their love interests, self-respect is not nearly as meaningful. They can even love people they disrespect.

Being personal instead of task oriented, love lacks the organizational specificity that men appreciate and can enjoy. So, men default to the male dominance model: Husband as head of house.

If wife focuses on reinforcing his self-respect with the same fervor she seeks his greater attentions, affections, and appreciations, she can prevent or ease conflicts.  

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429. Sex and fickle girl — Part 19


☼ By focusing on her man’s weaknesses and faults, she loses gratefulness for him. Her unhappiness rises as her ingratitude grows.

☼ She rules the successful home, but he thinks that he does. Only she can oil all the squeaky wheels, quiet all the frictions, and merge self-interests into us-interests. But she learns it best by doing such things in courtship.

Her hard-headedness tames the right man. Her soft-heartedness fine tunes the right man.

Modern men marry with fingers crossed, or lawyer’s fee saved up knowing that she will change from the woman he married.

Mothers are best equipped to play good cop and fathers to play bad cop. Mother MUST discipline, but father’s greatest effect comes as her back up.

Kids learn early to play one parent against the other. It’s their nature. Only coordinated prevention by parents stymie their doing it.

When wife is the main breadwinner, husband’s significance diminishes. He may act graciously and adjust to it, but it makes him long for someone else to highlight and uplift his importance.

Wife claims her husband to be inadequate or fault-filled, and he shortly lives up to her self-fulfilling prophecy.

A woman that builds her nest to suit only herself soon finds faults in her man. A woman that builds their home to please her man finds worth in her man. His worth leads to her gratefulness, which brings happiness for her.  

 

 

 

 

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