Tag Archives: his devotion

2341. Suggestions for Raising Children — Part XV

Tactical Parenting: Encouraging Sexual Restraint in Teen Girls

This is a follow-on to 2339. Start with toddlers to teach girls how to handle boys and men. Teach them from the earliest to constantly spotlight how the sexes are very different. Teach that life comes in two main sections, before and after marriage, and as the old saying goes: Never the twain shall meet.

Females push on males all the responsibility for initiating, earning, and otherwise selling themselves until their proposal for marriage. When they meet at the altar, it means she bought what he sold, which means that the roles reverse and she has contractually agreed to become seller to his buyer and thus inherits similar responsibilities after marriage.


If moms teach the following to toddlers and pre-teens, they will intuitively carry it into adolescence and adulthood.

  1. Boys get nothing from a girl unless they earn it. Boy wants a piece of her candy, she tells him to run around the house—or jump in that mud puddle—and she will share. Brother wants help with homework, sister says you owe me a banana split and I will collect, right? or else I destroy your bed room! Classmate wants to walk home with her, he carries her books (I recognize the old-schoolness of it, but it sure tamed boys to accept girl-think.)
  2. Boy wants to give girl a ride on his bike; she says walk with me first, push your old bike. Boy wants first kiss and girl says huh, uh; what have you done to deserve it? He asks for first date; she says only if you go to church with me. He wants to go park on lover’s lane; she say’s only if so-and-so go too. He wants to stop after work for drinks; she says huh, uh—coffee is okay though. He tries to talk about sex; she starts talking about marriage.
  3. It discourages females from giving men and boys unearned ‘gifts’ which guys don’t appreciate. And simply asking for something from a female is not earning anything; it’s still a freebie if he gets what he wants with words. (Men know to focus on her ears.) Only actions by males register with them as earning something.
  4. If males aren’t earning female favors of whatever kind, they are not kept in the seller’s role. It’s incumbent on females to train males to meet female expectations or it never happens. Males become satisfied by getting what they want from females without paying a price except for a few words they throw out to see if any click and stick with that chick.
  5. The more easily females accept words as their reason to accept a guy for whatever, the easier it is for guys to learn to lie. It also means that dealing with women with low expectations, men weaken the importance of integrity for honest dealings. They can too easily score with disingenuousness; it’s habitual among players.
  6. Everything is relative. Each sex reacts to the stimuli of the other. A man becomes what a woman desires only when she learns early to act as the buyer until they depart the altar. It enables the mother’s hand that rocks the cradle and rules the world to continue the rocking; it’s done indirectly by teaching toddler(s) how to handle males. Female intuition carries it through the tweens, teens, and into successful family life.
  7. Dealing with males this way also makes inexperienced females more valuable to themselves. It improves their self-image, -like, -confidence, and -control. More control means less depression. Girls get in the habit from toddlerhood of always expecting boys and men to pay some price for female favors of whatever kind.
  8. Making all of that come out to the advantage of females starts with mom and her toddler girl(s).


  • It’s simple, stop what’s gone before. At the altar, he paid his price for all she can provide in care, support, and favors.
  • Now that doesn’t mean she’s his slave or to batted around. It means that before marriage men have to please her, so the one who wins her knows that she’s been positioned to intuitively strive to please him as opposed to his always having to please her.

It’s the natural quid pro quo designed by God, endowed by Nature, and energized by hormones and provides the foundation that makes a couple compatible as mates. She gets her way until they marry.

After that, if he’s devoted and she’s smart, she continues to get her way. If he’s not devoted, she has a hard time ruling the rooster much less ruling the home. Marital success starts in toddlerhood.

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2165. Dating in Mid-life — Part C3: You Dominate or Lose

Attempts to dominate either a man or your date can both challenge and offend him. Yet, you should dominate relationship development. To do that, you dominate the subject of sex until conquest. After that your dominance goes away and you have to rely on his respect, your likeability, his devotion, and your ability to get your way while being submissive.

Men may disagree, resent, and even storm off in anger for effect or permanently. But, they know you’re entitled to protect your sexual assets. Regardless of their apparent unwillingness to respect your right, they know they have to earn it. Proof? They don’t really expect you to be submissive until they have conquered you.

You should also dominate the subject of your dignity. It’s identified by what you can’t live with, and you need to have your mind fixed strongly on just what those things are. Example: Don’t tolerate his embarrassing you. If you feel a reddening in your face, he’s violated your nature,  gone too far, and needs to know it. Your modesty is your best weapon to stave off masculine misbehavior.

When you dominate sex and dignity successfully, it enables you to develop a better relationship—if one is to develop out of subsequent dates. With this caveat, do it all without seeming to dominate. Perception is reality, so you don’t want him to perceive that you’re dominating the subject. Not telling him how or what to do but just standing your ground, protecting your interest, and guarding your unique assets with a strong will. You may offend him by defending yourself, but you will also earn his respect. If offense exceeds respect, he’s not the guy for you anyway. If respect exceeds offense, he’ll be more careful next time. He’s learning to not displease or disrespect you.

If you commit to following your nature, you will instinctively do the following and intuitively respond to his words and actions with behaviors that promote a promising relationship.

  • Identify and commit yourself to your unbendable values, standards, and expectations. Seal them in concrete in your heart and pledge your intentions to yourself to not violate them or let anyone talk you into acting contrary to them.
  • The first time it happens, inform him that if he displeases or disrespects you, you will let him know with an almost insignificant signal. Subsequently, don’t try to correct him directly. Just show the same signal each time he displeases or disrespects you or challenges, offends, or attempts to bribe you out of your panties or the solid values, standards, and expectations sealed in your heart. (As a signal for example, I suggest just showing him your pinkie finger (see #2150) but you may find something less unique and more pleasing to you. Rub your nose, pat the top of your head, or whatever as long as he gets a silent message that you’re displeased but can get over it if the subject is changed right away.)
  • Recent articles [2153 and 2154] put forward the condition that female dominance causes masculine discomfort. Actually, most of the time it works in reverse; causing masculine discomfort generates female dominance. It enables women to dominate with the right discomforting signal.
  • The knife edge of successful dating is this. He is so cocky and confident that he expects to have no trouble bringing up the subject of sex. He’s comfortable with the talking or the doing. You aren’t, shouldn’t be, or at least your nature is not comfortable. Your objective should be to make him uncomfortable about sex until you introduce it as acceptable. He’s uncomfortable about marriage. So, when he brings up sex, you respond by bringing up marriage. Oh, not proposing it; just mention it as discussable until he drops sex. Tie the two together tightly until such time as you deem the relationship well developed and ready for you to yield initiative to him on the subject.

So, if he can’t find comfort with you and still live with some discomfort about sex and marriage, it’s a red flag that he probably is not truly after you but just sex with you. And that’s a major part of breathing success into relationship development.



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2104. Will You Respect Me in the Morning?

Sir Eric at 2101 pondered life this way. “This is something I’ve never quite understood: I can’t imagine having sex with any woman I didn’t at least value in some way. It would seem actually to work the opposite way: a woman giving sex to a given man should, in theory, increase his respect for her.

What you say makes you a better man. It has significant appeal to women, and they seem to even shape their lives around that idea. Doing so, however, is flawed.

You probably learned such respectful values growing up; mother or other women taught you. You benefited from old school teachings. It used to be that way and girls knew to capitalize and complete the process to the advantage of females and children. Mothers tamed boys, girls guided teens toward marriage, and wives domesticated husbands for harmony in the home. It aimed at teaching males to respect females by females earning it.

Men don’t need to respect a woman to bed her. How often are you aware of men jumping into bed after taking only a short time to determine how respectable much less respected the women are?

Unless a man is taught in his youth to unconditionally respect women as unique and very different and very respectable creatures, it takes time for him to learn to respect each one. It’s the main disqualifier of masculine-style sexual freedom for women; they don’t earn the respect of men or each man they bed. Yielding sex does not earn masculine respect; in fact, cheap and easy conquest awards her disrespect. Moreover, if she’s easy for him, then she’s not respectable enough to be faithful to him. If the man has not paid his supreme sacrifice, namely yielding his independence on her behalf, she’s shortchanged of his respect.

The nature of man works like this. Men have two very differently motivated sex drives. The first is to conquer attractive women, That primal urge quits for each conquered woman but remains active for others. The second is the normal physiological and psychological urge that women know so well.

To conquerors, the vanquished earn as much respect as they are difficult to conquer; the higher her price, the more respect she earns. It’s not sex that earns respect, it’s her character that controls access to her sexual assets.

Having given up her most prized possession to him in their first sex together, he views her very differently and she’s easily disposable, candidate for booty, or a keeper for another reason. The other reason is respect based on her qualities other than sex. Qualities he can admire as virtues.

As to their subsequent sex, it’s routine because he as conqueror ‘owns’ the ‘right’. He may learn to like and enjoy it and it may entitle her to a great position in his life, but any additional respect that she accumulates comes from other than their sex together.

Female genitalia does not earn loyalty. However, it’s potential for loyalty can be realized, and she is born with the ability and talent. She lures without conquest in ways that produce devotion to her based on virtues that idealize her promise as his ‘support system’ to fulfill his life’s ambitions. IOW, a long chaste courtship which she arranges and manages in order to brighten her future by showing the promise to strengthen his life. As her virtues accumulate in his mind, his respect grows.

Eric’s standard is admirable. While it may not be rare, women are making it more so with masculine-style sexual freedom. Maximum respect of females is mutually exclusive with unmarried sex.



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2099. Compatibility Axioms #541-550

541. Females are born hard-headed and soft-hearted. Males are born hard-headed and hard-hearted. Her hard-headedness captures a man. Her soft-heartedness holds him. [199]

542. Romance to males means foreplay or prelude to it. Women define romance as what precedes foreplay. [199]

543. Women can enjoy masculine-style sexual freedom, but they eventually lose playing that man’s game. (Losing defined as inability to keep a man for life.) [199]

544. Commitment made before conquest fades or dies afterward, whereas a man’s devotion may dip a little after conquest but it returns. [200]

545. Everything looks and tastes better when you’re grateful. Finding reasons to be grateful for yourself and others simply brightens life. [200]

546. Selfishness interferes with gratitude, the absence of which causes unhappiness. [200]

547. A man’s devotion depends on his respect for a woman, which mostly floats on her wavy ocean of self-respect, exceptionalness as a female, feminine virtue, unique qualities, and likeability as potential mate. [200]

548. A man’s enduring love is built upon his respect for women generally and respect and likeability of one in particular. Need for her intensifies his devotion. [200]

549. After conquest a woman ceases to be a challenge, because a man’s most pressing goal has been accomplished. He moves on to his current mission in life, whether she’s his keeper or a dumpee. [200]

550. Modest attire sends the message she’s interested in long-term relationships. Immodest attire signals she’s interested in a man, period. [200]



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1967. LOVE: They Love Very Differently

Major differences in upbringing separate women into two pools, mature and immature (aka adult and adult-adolescent). That separation distinguishes how women perceive and respond to manly love.
• Mature women expect more than commitment before they marry. Immature women overrate commitment. They commit themselves to a man’s highly pleasing and promising words. Such a woman does not wait to establish that a man is devoted to her. She never learns what a devoted man looks like except by watching and envying other couples.
• Mature women do not tire or become bored with a devoted man. Adolescent-minded women wish they had a devoted man but they become bored if they do. They expect to hear a continual flow of new, exciting, and reinforcing words about their importance. Actions speak too quietly for them. They cannot imagine and convert their man’s devoted actions into the words they want to hear. Boredom causes loss of gratitude, which reduces happiness, which registers with their man as less respect, and which reduces manly love of them. Thus, an immature woman falls prey to distraction and other interests when her man acts natural. That is, when he changes after conquest, gives no evidence of bonding through sex, and takes her for granted after marriage.
Men do not love as women do.
• Men may or may not love as the result of their commitment and pledges of fidelity. They step up to duty and love in their own fashion, but it is not woman-think love.
• A man’s deepest love is the result of dedication and action that signify devotion and that program his heart through repetition. Commitment obligates the mind; devotion obligates the heart. Both can last a lifetime.
• A man’s love is based on respect for one woman he sees as virtuous. He appreciates her attractiveness but does not truly understand her feminine mystique, female modesty, moral standards, monogamous expectations, and other unique values and natural imperatives. However, he admires some or many of those factors. Her faithfulness to her feminine nature—the opposite of Feminism—uplifts her in every man’s eyes until one finds her extraordinarily promising enough to want to spend his life with her. [131]
• The male nature makes a man respect that which he earns and not truly appreciate unearned gifts. Earning the gift of someone’s love is the root of male love. If a woman loves a man without his having earned it, he will not learn to respect her enough to devote himself to her. Commit? Yes. Devote? No. By doing things to please her, his actions program his heart to appreciate her out of which comes his devotion. (Falling in love at first sight programs a man’s heart immediately but claiming it raises the red flag.)
• Men appreciate women they respect. They feast their eyes on their woman’s attractiveness. They admire her unique female and fascinating qualities. They take actions to please her for herself rather than just for sex, and thus over time become devoted to her. That is, men appreciate, feast, admire, and act out their love until they are sure they have won her. Then, they become less obvious. Having won a mate, they move on to bigger challenges, which women call taking them for granted—which women usually do too once they have given birth.
• When a man truly loves a woman, it overwhelms but does not kill his want of independence. Being primarily a taker, he expects to take what he deserves in exchange for yielding his independence for marriage. If wife does not know how to provide the rewards that he expects for husbanding and fathering, his devotion wanes and incompatibility begins to arise.
• When he knows he has truly won a mate through marriage, he soon takes her for granted. The win frees him to move on to new challenges; what she should see as his unique way of solidifying devotion to her. Spurred by the duty associated with devotion, he sustains it by pleasing his own heart and expresses it by doing better at producing, providing, protecting, and problem solving.
Women do not love as men do.
• Women give of themselves in exchange for attention, appreciation, and affection that recognize their importance to those they love. Loving someone is a self-centered process that both blesses and confirms their natural inheritance of self-worth, -importance, and -love. Thus, loving themselves for loving someone else is the root of female love. Without someone to love, their lives are empty.
• Women hopefully or mistakenly believe that men love the same way. It is a major and probably the major cause of incompatibility to expect of men what women expect of themselves.
Modern females trash the natural order of finding a mate. Instead of making men earn the gift of their love, they provide sex with mistaken conceptions and expectations. Consequently, they commit too easily and mishandle themselves out of earning a man’s devotion. The seeds of incompatibility are sown, many marriages are destined to easily fall apart, and all because they expect men to love as women love.


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1923. Compatibility Axioms #171-180

171. Wish I had said this: “You don’t marry someone because he’s your soul mate; he becomes your soul mate because you married him.” [from Julia Shaw’s article “Marry Young” at www.slate.com]

172. A man’s loyalty and devotion to wife and children is cultivated best by a woman mentally and emotionally committed to nesting, nurturing, and nestling in her home and his castle. [97]

173. Small breasts have great value in helping to keep men faithful. Large breasts appeal to the adolescent side of men. They admire the large and look for the larger, which shifts their mindset to sex play with other women (and weight control goes out the window with women.) [98]

174. Younger women and imitators primarily use skin to make boobs attractive. It works. However, it captures male attention with thoughts of sex (just as hugging does). They bypass her other qualities. When she pushes sex onto the back burner, men tend to chase her for who she is more than what she can do or what she might be in bed. [98]

175. When dating, men like their woman to look seductive so that he appears like a great conqueror. Not so after marriage. He wants her to look trophy-like, happy with him, and obviously available only to him. [98]

176. Meaningless sex eventually leaves women feeling empty. Promiscuity compounds to weaken their feminine self-respect, -worth and -image. They become aware in middle age if not before. [99]

177. Promiscuity reinforces to women that men are only after sex. Chastity teaches women that men are more interesting than that. [99]

178. Promiscuous sex teaches men that women are playthings and easily dominated or dumped. Chastity teaches men that women have respectable values and are not easily bamboozled.  [99]

179. After early passion wilts among couples, men do not stay long or dependably with women they conquered as pushovers. Round heels turn off the Marrying Man. [99]

180. With so much unmarried sex available in society, men are enticed to comparison shop their wife against the young and more ideal. Even late night TV shows in the bedroom stimulate husband’s imagination (and probably that of less devoted women also). [99]


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1125. Keepers for Keepers—Assortment 31

  • A man’s discoveries of a woman’s strengths and attributes fade after their first sex together. He need not look further. It’s his nature more than her.
  • Being feminine makes a woman very unique, which maximizes her value to men.  
  • Her affection and love do not register as gratitude for him.
  • His ego and sense of significance are the same.
  • If she expects his devotion, remember that it arises from what he does for her, not what she does for or thinks of him.
  • If she expects to be a big trophy for him: The harder to get, the bigger the trophy.
  • Men usually keep their love under wraps. When they express love, they do so through actions designed to please her. He shows his love in spurts.
  • To her, his words speak more loudly than his actions. It’s quite the opposite of his view.

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