The sexes are born with distinctly different motivational energies. A man aims at keeping himself satisfied with himself throughout life. He needs little help, and shortcomings and failures are usually his problem.
A woman’s motivational energies are tri-functional. 1) She aims at being good by doing good. 2) She seeks happiness by being grateful for self, others, and life. 3) She fulfills her female destiny by giving birth, being cherished by the person most important to her, and by having a mate to give purpose to her later years.
Many women miss out, choose other paths, or are trained in childhood for other things. They can still have a good and happy life. However, without fulfilling her destiny, women feel less important about themselves, less successful in life, and less satisfied with fulfilling their inborn motivations, girlhood dreams, and expectations about adult life.
Childbirth and having a mate to give purpose to her later years need no discussion here. They happen as the result of lengthy chains of events with someone else involved. Cherished by the person most important to her is another matter; it’s the subject here.
Watch this, ladies. A wife is as cherished as she thinks she is. IOW, she concludes that she’s cherished or not by how she’s honored and treated by the most important person in her life. He doesn’t do cherishing per se, because men don’t know how or even what it means in terms of what he should do. Hubby and wife could argue for decades, if the issue is whether or net she is cherished.
She is isolated in her thoughts about being cherished. To include husband is to involve him in relationship management, and men don’t recognize the need for that. His relationship is okay and working, or its not.
She decides whether she’s cherished or not from how hubby admires her. His admiration spotlights her virtues as they live life together. She then figures she’s cherished or not from the manner in which he handles her closely or distantly as love and sex object, respected wife, trusted lover, teammate or tolerable load, dependable or questionable, stalwart or weak, attractive or okay, stable or unpredictable, doer or complainer, faithful or doubtful.
Thus, whether she later becomes cherished or not depends on 1) screening a man for his likeability and potential to admire her, 2) continually pursuing the affirming and positive side of their life together, and 3) loosening his nature against displaying emotional connections.
Items 1) and 2) have been covered in this blog, but Item 3) is new and more closely and directly connected to cherishment than anything else. It is non-passionate intimacy and subject of the next article.