Tag Archives: hormones

2345. Tribute to Female Nature — 01: Chocolate Pays


I was asked why I give so much chocolate to women, many that I don’t know.

Single Hershey bars given to clerks, friends, dental hygienists, favorite restaurant servers, greeters, neighbors, wives, singles, grandmothers, secretaries, doctors’ nurses, house cleaners, and my optometrist every visit. If I anticipate the encounter, it’s an occasion for chocolate bar in a lunch bag. (Real men don’t do gift bags and tissues with femmy touches.)

A bag of Hershey Miniatures frequently goes to businesses I visit for whatever reason to be placed in the break room with this disclaimer: Guys get none unless the gals say so, ‘cause I don’t do chocolate for men. (Usually presented in a Wal-Mart plastic bag.)

First, teasing women—and giving chocolate for no reason—makes their prettiness shine brighter. Second, I enjoy trying to make funny the gift-giving encounter. Both keep me reminded of my duty. Third, I realize that God gave chocolate to men—not to women—so that men could get women to pay attention to them.

Fourth, and the most compelling reason and which I’ve made a duty, it’s my tribute to women. I was dumb as an under-inflated tire for my first 70 years. This century I educated myself on what wonderful creatures God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize mostly for the benefit of men. Who, of course as you ladies know, may have a slight clue but fall far short on appreciation, affection, and understanding of female needs, wants, and expectations.

So much for me and chocolate. Why the tribute? So few recognize women as the superior gender. How they make civilization work and stabilize society in the face of the dominant gender working against peaceful accommodation. How they prevent the enslavement of women and children, when political conditions enable it as in the U.S.

Tomorrow we’ll examine the male nature that needs female help to keep Western civilization on track.

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2341. Suggestions for Raising Children — Part XV


Tactical Parenting: Encouraging Sexual Restraint in Teen Girls

This is a follow-on to 2339. Start with toddlers to teach girls how to handle boys and men. Teach them from the earliest to constantly spotlight how the sexes are very different. Teach that life comes in two main sections, before and after marriage, and as the old saying goes: Never the twain shall meet.

Females push on males all the responsibility for initiating, earning, and otherwise selling themselves until their proposal for marriage. When they meet at the altar, it means she bought what he sold, which means that the roles reverse and she has contractually agreed to become seller to his buyer and thus inherits similar responsibilities after marriage.

BEFORE MARRIAGE.

If moms teach the following to toddlers and pre-teens, they will intuitively carry it into adolescence and adulthood.

  1. Boys get nothing from a girl unless they earn it. Boy wants a piece of her candy, she tells him to run around the house—or jump in that mud puddle—and she will share. Brother wants help with homework, sister says you owe me a banana split and I will collect, right? or else I destroy your bed room! Classmate wants to walk home with her, he carries her books (I recognize the old-schoolness of it, but it sure tamed boys to accept girl-think.)
  2. Boy wants to give girl a ride on his bike; she says walk with me first, push your old bike. Boy wants first kiss and girl says huh, uh; what have you done to deserve it? He asks for first date; she says only if you go to church with me. He wants to go park on lover’s lane; she say’s only if so-and-so go too. He wants to stop after work for drinks; she says huh, uh—coffee is okay though. He tries to talk about sex; she starts talking about marriage.
  3. It discourages females from giving men and boys unearned ‘gifts’ which guys don’t appreciate. And simply asking for something from a female is not earning anything; it’s still a freebie if he gets what he wants with words. (Men know to focus on her ears.) Only actions by males register with them as earning something.
  4. If males aren’t earning female favors of whatever kind, they are not kept in the seller’s role. It’s incumbent on females to train males to meet female expectations or it never happens. Males become satisfied by getting what they want from females without paying a price except for a few words they throw out to see if any click and stick with that chick.
  5. The more easily females accept words as their reason to accept a guy for whatever, the easier it is for guys to learn to lie. It also means that dealing with women with low expectations, men weaken the importance of integrity for honest dealings. They can too easily score with disingenuousness; it’s habitual among players.
  6. Everything is relative. Each sex reacts to the stimuli of the other. A man becomes what a woman desires only when she learns early to act as the buyer until they depart the altar. It enables the mother’s hand that rocks the cradle and rules the world to continue the rocking; it’s done indirectly by teaching toddler(s) how to handle males. Female intuition carries it through the tweens, teens, and into successful family life.
  7. Dealing with males this way also makes inexperienced females more valuable to themselves. It improves their self-image, -like, -confidence, and -control. More control means less depression. Girls get in the habit from toddlerhood of always expecting boys and men to pay some price for female favors of whatever kind.
  8. Making all of that come out to the advantage of females starts with mom and her toddler girl(s).

AFTER MARRIAGE

  • It’s simple, stop what’s gone before. At the altar, he paid his price for all she can provide in care, support, and favors.
  • Now that doesn’t mean she’s his slave or to batted around. It means that before marriage men have to please her, so the one who wins her knows that she’s been positioned to intuitively strive to please him as opposed to his always having to please her.

It’s the natural quid pro quo designed by God, endowed by Nature, and energized by hormones and provides the foundation that makes a couple compatible as mates. She gets her way until they marry.

After that, if he’s devoted and she’s smart, she continues to get her way. If he’s not devoted, she has a hard time ruling the rooster much less ruling the home. Marital success starts in toddlerhood.

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2256. Interface of Natural Love: Compatibility and Mutual-interest


To describe a couple’s love requires that it be examined in three stages: foundation, two personalities, and individual self-interests.

  1. The foundation is how they are born differently and then come together. That natural interface is described in the previous article (2255).
  2. Rising above that foundation, two personalities must be compatible at the start or made so as their relationship develops. “Made so” implies that someone has to change in order to adjust enough to mix masculine competition and feminine cooperation into a workable solution. Men will change before conquest in order to capture a woman if she is more important to him than just for sex.

After conquest, however, instinctive male nature prevents conquerors from changing to please the conquered. So, each woman faces the frustrations of managing her sexual assets in such a way that enables her to integrate two diverse personalities into compatibility.

Moreover, women are blessed with sufficient ability. At birth they inherit an adjustable ability that enables them to achieve what they are after. Management traits of patience and flexibility that men lack (for dealing with women, that is) enable decisions wiser than his when she’s choosing a mate.

Simply by managing how competition about conquest morphs into cooperation without conquest, women can bring forth the blossoms of love in relationship development. The only requirement is that he pursues her for sex and she refuses until he meets her expectations for sufficient devotion to her above others. Without her love of him and his devotion to her, there’s not enough meat to share on the compatibility platter.

If she doesn’t ensure before conquest that he obligates himself to fulfill her expectations, then he assumes no responsibility toward or for her well-being. It torpedoes her ship, because the character, strength, and dependability of men is founded on personal obligation to fulfill whatever they consider their responsibility. IOW, making herself his responsibility is the essence of marital love, compatibility, and—up next—mutual-interest.

  1. Self-interest motivates everyone. Unless forced, people don’t violate it. Unless charmed by a good woman, men don’t yield their self-interest to hers. Unless passionate about marrying a particular man, women don’t yield theirs either.

Integrating two very diverse self-interests into mutual-interest is the work of woman. Only she has the interest, traits, and ability to merge such opposing and tremendously personal ‘belongings’. The ingredients that drive self-interest—e.g., tightwad, promiscuous, responsible, fearful, integrity, passionate, ungrateful, selfish, courageous, stubborn, irresponsible—are owned and difficult to part with in order to accommodate someone else’s ingredients that might destroy or infringe on yours.

Integrating two individual self-interests into one synergistic mutual-interest requires monumental and continuous effort. It’s a—and perhaps the—major reason women are so well prepared for it. And men are not.

God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize man and women differently and they face love at the interface described at 2255. After they meet, just about everything else that has to be done is accomplished by the woman. She integrates their personalities into compatibility and self-interests into mutual-interest. Thus, she earns her man’s respect by achieving marital success, which solidifies his love because respect is the foundation of it.

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2145. Unisex Fails Women


It’s been happening for half a century through six or seven generations of females, each of which seeks its own identity with a different lifestyle from previous ones.

Women possess some male hormones, and I use testosterone merely as example. Hormones respond to behavior. The more masculine-like is female behavior, the higher the level of Big T. The higher the level, the more masculine they act in response, so hormones and behavior trigger more of the other and spiral upward making women more like men. The reverse is true too. The more feminine women behave, the less T floods their body and the less they act like men.

Most men want to marry a virtuous woman, but she’s not virtuous enough unless she’s fascinating to him. Except for sexual potential, men see little or no fascination in women who act like men. Such women possess too few of the virtuous qualities that fascinate men.

Consequently, over 50 or so years women migrated from potential mates to undesirables for permanent relationships. They depend on romantic love to support their relationships. It fades in a year or two after conquest, and men are free to move on to another sex object, if they didn’t move on before.

The unisex movement is political and sprang out of Feminism. Ergo, feminist thinking, theory, and belief are responsible for short duration of marriages. But it’s really not that simple; that’s just the foundation. Unisex politics convinced women they should act more like men, which flooded them with more testosterone, which brought out more self-centered female aggressiveness that men find unpleasant, which cost women much of their non-sexual fascination, which lured men into sex-only relationships, which brought about the shortening of marriages.

The more feminine that women behave, the more likely they appear fascinating to men, and the more likely men see promise in them as lifelong mates. They are made that way in order to live compatibly with each other.

 

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2103. Women as Champions Or … ?


Sir Eric at 2101 reported this. “[W]hat I’ve noticed mostly from women is an attitude that seems to hold all men as fairly indistinguishable and interchangeable. When you look at the high divorce rates and the whirlwind relationships that go on today—if women are the relationship experts, it seems like they value men and relationships on a very low-level.”

Good conclusions from the results Eric sees in society. Allow me to bore underneath and describe some of the natural motivational forces at work.

Women value men and relationships on a very low-level because they value themselves on a very low-level. Dislike for themselves transmutes into dislike of others, particularly trait for trait, quality for quality. None of us can give what we don’t have, and so if I dislike myself for sometimes not being totally honest, I can’t credit anyone else with that good habit. OTOH, if I acknowledge more rationally that I’m sometimes not honest but it doesn’t make me dislike myself, then I can credit others for their APPARENT honesty. The difference is determined by the governor of the behavior of every person, their self-image, the picture they have of themselves and their roles and positions in life. (If sinning makes me dislike myself instead of trying to do better, then my self-image takes a hit with every sin. It doesn’t take long to convince myself that I’m no damn good.)

Women hold all men as fairly indistinguishable and interchangeable because they feel that way about themselves. As I try to point out in Female Blessings at Birth, women are highly distinguishable and not interchangeable. They can choose to claim, believe, and exploit the multitude of better-than-male blessings they are born with. IOW, they can use their superiority to their advantage, which is what God intended, Nature provides, and hormones energize—but it’s an individual matter and free will has to be dedicated to individual betterment.

Life continues to boil down to this, as women goes so goes society.

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2052. Submissive #09 — Dictators and Rule the Rooster


I continue with situations that make women more aware of what’s happening between the sexes.

24. In a marriage moving along successfully, submission doesn’t haunt the wife. As the relationship kingpin, she knows how to integrate their respective strengths, minimize their respective weaknesses, and discretely pick the battles she will wage. Her submissive spirit moderates her husband’s dominance by weakening his need for it. [Guy adds: Her submissive spirit is the linchpin for encouraging him to put aside his competitive role-protection and enjoy the friendliness and encouragement that goes along with her hints, seed planting, and patience, aka her cooperative spirit. The more he goes along to get along with her prescriptions for home life, then the more he moves toward becoming Mr. Right. Right, ladies?

Unfortunately, if he morphs too much and she determines that he’s grown into Mr. Right too soon, then she loses interest in improving him. Enabled to quit trying, she grows bored. It contributes to the hurdle I call the 20-year ditch, either her of him or him of her. Ideally, she to herself declares him Mr. Right about the same time that security takes on a more awesome meaning to her. Improving him morphs into using him to brighten her future security. When does it happen? Who knows? But the more easily he slips into the spider web that enables her to actually dominate, the sooner she becomes bored. That is, with so much success, too few struggles, and too easy to get her way, then she seeks new challenges to reinforce her sense of self-importance. It prompts her to think outside the box (home).]

25. The successful wife recognizes that her husband’s primal urge to be head of the family far outweighs her need to rule the roost. So she aspires to rule the rooster mostly with him being unaware. [Guy adds: It’s caused mostly by her nature and is the offspring of her well-meaning submissive and cooperative spirits. However, some women will add deviousness to their efforts. Of course it brutalizes a woman’s sincerity. If husband detects insincerity or deviousness, her credibility and his respect plummet. Because trying to rule the rooster is natural to females, it’s acceptable to males when done honestly and sincerely. Deviousness and tricks merely waste effort and enlarge odds that she will lose in the long run.]

26. A vital part of the submissive spirit is letting husband discover and fix his own mistakes. If wife points them out directly, or harps about them, he goes into defensive mode that agitates his dominant nature. It amounts to her threatening or at least tinkering with his sense of significance. This pushes a man to seek submission on his terms and restore his significance. Her submissive spirit gets wasted in the aftermath. [Guy adds: Marital success depends on what she sees him do to, about, and for her. Also, why, how, and what he hears her say to, about, and for him. IOW, the starting point of marital judgments is his ears and her eyes, in both cases their secondary sensors. Examples: She sees his laziness and rings the bell to start the next round. Her endless chatter about things of no interest to him drives him to turn off his hearing long before he’s old enough to have and turn off his hearing aid.]

27. Marriages fail easily unless the CEO power struggle is resolved harmoniously. The ideal arrangement has spouses developing a working division of authority that makes both sides feel safe, comfortable, and confident about the other. Ideally, arranged in courtship, both agree to yield on matters over which the other has responsibility. But in the end, each has to yield cooperatively or disputes have a way of magnifying in both number and meanness. [Guy adds: It’s no easy matter to assign responsibility and authority to one spouse because marriage is a sharing experience. However, it’s still a sharing matter. When push comes to shove on some issue, one spouse has the upper hand. That is, the authority to render the final decision after sharing the issue with other spouse. For example: He rules the family; she rules the home. The ‘junior partner’ easily learns they will lose in the end, and so they only argue so long to get their way. It may not settle emotions of the moment, but animosities fade with time. Fading animosities re-open the door to harmony.]

28. Her husband’s game may be hard dictatorial rule. But God designed, nature endows, and hormones energize her to handle him successfully. So long as she cooperates with his nature rather than competes with his dictatorial manner. Her feminine nature guides her to this: 1) She can’t outplay so she must outsmart him. 2) If he liked himself, he wouldn’t be like he is, so she needs to help him like himself, and admiration works best and criticism works worst. 3) She exploits her feminine nature to confirm the wife’s role as pleasantly superior for generating household peace and that makes his dictatorial manner unnecessary. [Guy adds: I can’t add much. Women at birth inherit the relationship expertise to work themselves in, around, over, and under dictatorial rule in the home.]

More tomorrow about a wife’s eternal battle with her man’s expectations.

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1996. Self-gratitude — Default Attitudes


Yesterday I posted angelic whipped cream to the self-gratitude sundae. Today I add the nuts of gratefulness. The numbered list of naturally endowed female qualities that women inherit at birth has been revised and enlarged. It’s posted as a separate page at blog top.

Default attitudes reflect the way that God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize females to function as the superior sex within society built and sustained by the dominant sex. Tomorrow, the cherry of recovery completes the sundae at 1997.

 

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