Tag Archives: live in

1994. Self-gratitude—Guilt and Self-respect

Whether girl or woman, bachelorette or single mom, live in or wife, each lives with an abundance of guilt. Men can and do, but women can’t get rid of it. To some degree women feel too guilty and it languishes for years before fading from their hearts. However, they can ease it and I encourage women to neutralize it at least and overwhelm it at best with self-gratitude.

(Just guessing but I suspect it works something like this. Each woman has a full load that she carries all the time. New guilt displaces the least significant.)

Unfortunately, susceptibility to guilt eats away self-respect, so women need a stronger character foundation. Their nature provides it, dedication to themselves as vital to those around them. But that requires less guilt and some self-respect. Consequently, women need to continually both offset the former and reinforce the latter. The answer lies in habitually using the dresser mirror and the habit of deliberately spending time there. Out of mirror time comes less guilt, more self-respect, and reinforced self-gratitude. All of which enable dedication to themselves as vital to others.

Details about mirror use are coming soon. In the meantime, reviewing these related articles, 1003 and 1291, may fill in some blanks I leave behind.




Filed under feminine, Uncategorized

781. RANDOM THOUGHTS — Group 11

  • Seeking marriage? It’s not what you promise him. It’s the promise he sees in you.


  • Trust a man’s actions but verify his words.


  • Women make life tough for themselves. If they don’t care about appealing to the male gender generally, men conclude that women don’t care that much about having a permanent man. This means men don’t care that much about being the kind of man that women want to marry. It also means that women don’t particularly care about being the kind of woman that men want to live with for very long.


  • Were I a woman, the day before my wedding I would swear to myself that I would never speak again of any exes, husbands, lovers, or boyfriends. My intended can’t ever be convinced he’s numero uno, if I raise competitive ghosts to him regardless of good, legitimate, or manipulative intentions. (I realize it’s probably not possible in today’s world, but I’d try my absolute best, and especially never belittle my number one by referring to any man.)


  • All females have the potential to provide sex. So, except for attractiveness and availability, none is unique until conquest makes them descriptive— such as poor lay, good lay, disposable, lover, ex, dumpee, booty, live-in, etc.


Filed under Dear daughter, Uncategorized

169. Virtual Virginity #9

☼ Looking for Mr. Right, a woman has tough enemies. They include: (1) Being sexually active to keep up with her peers. (2) The lack of long range purpose and goals for her life. (3) Excessive eagerness to have boyfriend, live in, or husband. (4) Inexperience making sound judgments about HER long range future. Virtual virginity helps reduce the impact of these enemies.

☼ While her legs are crossed, a woman compares her thinking with her feelings, her wishes with the facts, her future with the promises she faces. Such clear-headedness brings far fewer mistakes.

☼ Keeping her legs crossed enables a female to control her relationships. It’s her cardinal power to test boyfriends, friends, and acquaintances for their ability to help fulfill her hopes and dreams.

☼ Of the friends, acquaintances, and newbys she knows, their potential value becomes evident when she lets ‘no sex with me’ produce and disclose to her this fallout: Mr. Wrong, Mr. Not Good Enough, Mr. Good Enough, and Mr. Right. Practice makes perfect.  

☼ Quality time after conquest is far different from quality time before.

☼ The longer she holds out, then the more the candidate for Mr. Right accepts her other values, standards, and expectations. If he fails to accept her and adjust his behavior accordingly, he’s automatically or should be Mr. Wrong.

[More on virtual virginity appears at posts 158, 147, 136, 125, 96, 70, 51, 44, and 25 below.] Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following.

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143. Chaste courtship works—Part 4

Using sex to capture a boyfriend is easy. Sex infatuates boys, but it does not bond men. Thus, unmarried sex paves the road to ex-girlfriend, -lover, -live in, or -wife.

Women have no greater direct influence on their own personal world than when they refuse to provide unmarried sex. Yielding weakens her influence and enhances his dominating spirit.

Women have two major windows in which they can change their man: A long courtship before they first have sex and in middle age after Nature softens his heart. Both, however, require patience, indirectness, and feminine charm.

Women reject a long chaste courtship. They prefer the joys of sex over opportunity to makeover a man into Right Man. This forces her to seek to change him after marriage, a sure-fire way to push him toward other arms.

Women want to change their man after marriage but find that they can’t. The male nature resists her pressures to change, except as a woman delays his premarital conquest to stimulate change.

A long sex-free courtship resolves uncertainty about a man’s character and potential for successful marriage. Most men reveal their true character but not their entire Self, when facing a woman’s hard-headed and continuing delays for their first sex together. But, women are in charge of courtship only as long as it remains platonic.

A simple test of a man’s devotion: He honors her needs and wants ahead of his own. If, however, he continually pleases her at the expense of his manly dreams, she will lose respect for him and he will eventually become dumper or dumpee. 

[More about the merits of chaste courtships appear in post 108, 107, and 100. Scroll down or search by the number.]


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114. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 4

A man’s discoveries of a woman’s strengths and attributes fade after their first sex together. He need not look further. It’s his nature more than her.

A man’s love is based on respect for an extraordinary woman who outshines most others. She becomes extraordinary in his eyes, if he has to work hard to impress her, hold her attention, and otherwise prove himself worthy of her. Her attractiveness just gets the ball rolling.

A man’s natural loyalty lies primarily with his job or whatever he must do to satisfy his sense of significance. The right and extraordinary woman can get a permanent arrangement. Others cannot, except for temporary comfort and functionality.

A man’s not really interested in her, if he’s not intrigued by her feminine persona. Or, if he ridicules her female modesty. Or, if he mocks her moral, religious, feminine, or parental standards. Or, if he insists that she do something she knows is not good for her.

A man’s respect for women generally and one in particular is not essential to a temporary relationship, but it is for a permanent one.

A woman that uses gratitude, indirectness, and endless patience can turn an inadequate husband from frog to prince to king. Love and affection are not enough though.

A female’s denial of unmarried sex spurs a male’s imagination to go beyond words of commitment and show devotion through new and innovative actions. If it doesn’t, she’s more temp than keeper.

After a couple’s first sex together, the man assumes control of their sexual agenda as conqueror’s right, or he moves on.  

After conquest the infatuated but not fascinated man focuses on life with her as sex partner at the cheapest cost to him—girlfriend, lover, live in, or wife if necessary.

Even before a man starts a relationship, she’s his target for conquest. Her value goes up with his difficulty achieving his goal. How he handles her obstacles discloses if he’s truly into her. 


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Filed under Prince to pauper, Uncategorized

67. Exes, dumpees, and left behinds—Section I

Girls and women repeatedly spend time as ex-girlfriend, ex-lover, ex-live in, ex-wife. Whether searching, shacking up, or married, women repeatedly bounce from one misery to another interrupted frequently with love that doesn’t last and often with a new child. First with a guy and then without, and then with a guy and then without, and then….

Males are just males. Mothers, girls, and wives turn them into promising boys and mature men that please or displease females.

Every man expects he will be great as a mate—by masculine standards, that is. They must be taught otherwise, if female expectations are met.

Sexual encounters do not improve men, because sex neither bonds nor changes them for female advantage. The actions and reactions of women withholding intercourse teach men to adopt female-friendly behaviors and try harder to please females.

When there’s a shortage of unmarried sex all across society, it shapes masculine thinking toward goodness and what women appreciate. Trying to qualify for sex by searching for a female’s weaknesses, a man coincidentally learns about her non-sexual strengths and qualities of value to him. His love needs that base, if it’s to endure beyond the fading of lust, infatuation, and romantic love.

The presence of unmarried sex all across modern society shapes masculine thinking against what women appreciate. The ease of bouncing blossom to blossom lures men away from spending very much effort on females and especially the baggage-laden interests of one. Also, male dominance intensifies.

Modern women don’t rise to the challenge of relationship management required to succeed as a couple. Instead, they act less feminine, more masculine, and objectify themselves for trading in the sexual marketplace.

When relationship mistakes and failures become evident, she dumps him before he dumps her.

She recycles to the dreaded ex side of life. Her lament: ♫Where oh when ♫is my next boyfriend? She sighs and sponges up the sympathy and encouragement of her girlfriends. But the next hook up restarts the cycle.   

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40. Her mushy thinking—Part 2

Men are born hard-headed and hard-hearted. Women are born hard-headed but soft-hearted. Oftentimes women go soft in their thinking. Mushy, that is. Poor results dealing with men usually follow:   

♀—She mates with a bad man or inadequate mate. When dumped or forced to drop him, she picks up with another loser, and then another….

♀—She thinks that men are like women in their thinking, habits, and urge to constantly be together. We are mostly co-dependent, or so she imagines.

♀—She flaunts her co-dependency and faults her man when he has more important things to do.

♀—She becomes jealous too easily of the hold that his job has on him.

♀—She cheapens sex and herself in a man’s eyes by using sex to capture him. Men will hang around her until another sex target comes in view, and some may even go through the process of linking up, shacking up, and perhaps marrying up. But, split up is not far behind, because his respect for her is less than required for his permanency.

♀—She fails to grasp that sex primarily satisfies his raw appetite. When his ego is deeply massaged by hunting and overcoming all the obstacles to conquering her, his self-respect, respect for her, and her holding power over him skyrocket. This still does not mean that he will stay with her, but she has no better form of insurance. (Boyfriends cannot be sued for malpractice, at least not yet. A hundred or so years ago many people were sued for ‘alienation of affection’.)

♀—She thinks a hunk makes her feel good or look good to her sister females, so she puts more value in a man’s appearance than his character. His appearance tells nothing about how he will treat her, only how he admires himself. His character may already be corrupted for living with a female.

♀—She fails to recognize that men evaluate her character and non-sex assets before they first have sex. Afterwards he pays much less attention to what else she has to offer. (Hollywood and TV work diligently to hide this part of the male nature; they prefer to show the wishful but fruitless thinking of females who know little about men and nothing about the females’ strategic power potential when using virtual virginity.)

♀—She is so caught up in romantic love that she lacks both knowledge and skill to generate a man’s enduring love to replace their romantic love that will fade in a year or so.


Filed under Fickle female, Uncategorized