I mentioned earlier that I started this series before I was ready. Trying to recover and continue, I’ve run out of time; I’m taking a 10-day vacation this Tuesday. So, I leave you with some mind-ticklers to ponder, subjects on which I expect to elaborate later.
- Strongly motivated differently, the sexes have two motivational forces in common. Both want to get their way with the other, which stirs immense competition, which tends to separate them. And yet, both are designed to be compatible as a mate. It’s another of the gaps that only women can close.
- Although both sexes are born to get their way, a marriage prospers when wife gets her way in most of life together except his job.
- A woman marries for love and expects to get her way caring for her man. A man marries for comfort and convenience and expects to get his way in the details, which he earns and deserves by way of providing and protecting.
- Each wanting and expecting to get their way generates a competitive spirit that floods a couple, until wife nullifies it with cooperation.
- If wife competes with husband, his urge to dominate emerges and he intends to win. No man of significance loses to the weaker sex, so getting her way is the consequence of something other than competition.
- Both sexes are born with free will but someone must be in charge, if progress is the goal. If male dominance drives their bus, compatibility will get run over.
- The smart wife strives to get her way most of the time. She bows to husband getting his way only when he insists and she can’t satisfy him otherwise.
- Wife divides their life together into two spheres that overlap: One sphere is his job and she doesn’t go there. The rest of their life together is her sphere, and she strives to get her way in all of it.
- Where their spheres intersect, wife strives to reduce its size until only husband resides in it. It happens as her drive to get her way manifests as winning the competition of who governs their life together.
- Both adequate and satisfaction are undersold, and love is oversold in the scheme of life that leads to marital success.
- Love is never enough, because it doesn’t satisfy both parties. Both satisfaction in men and happy in women are built around adequacies. Unless fruitlessly chasing perfection, adequate is good enough as foundation for building mutual satisfaction in life together.
- Adequate can satisfy. If she is loved adequately, she’s close enough to being satisfied and can focus on something else. If his life with her is adequate, he’s close to being satisfied with his comfort, convenience, and her.
- If her man’s expressions of attention, affection, and romance are adequate to her, she’s satisfied that she’s loved. OTOH, direct expressions of her love of him satisfy her more than him.
- Neither sex is born to pursue perfection. Adequate is enough to breed satisfaction within a man provided it’s composed of enough smaller ‘adequates’. Any woman has the ability—outside her ability to love—to produce enough adequates to satisfy a husband’s expectations. She can read husband and identify his satisfaction with her performance and thereby keep him satisfied with both her and their living together.
- A simple guidance strategy exists to show wives how to build and manage almost everything in their wedded relationship. IOW, get her way most of the time.
Summarizing the above, I shall describe a simple model of how to make marriage work successfully, defined as good enough to avoid separation. It has two simple strategies, get her way and keep him satisfied. The devil is in the details, which each wife can exploit. The female nature is particularly designed to enable every woman to make better of her marriage.