- Criticism doesn’t lift its finger to help. Self-criticism lifts a finger, but it holds a knife dulled by too much use.
- Gratitude lifts its finger to help. Self-gratitude lifts the whole hand.
- When its customary for women to be overweight, underweight becomes rare, which means trophy to hunter-conquerors.
- Men don’t give up their independence for marriage. They give up the appearance of it. Husbands remain determined to satisfy themselves with their lives. She’s expected to take care of things for which he better be noticeably proud, grateful, and crown her as highly important.
- Women think because men eat heavy, it’s all right for women, who forget that men feast with their eyes and hunter-conquerors seek the most attractive targets.
- Men figure they are easy to love. By appreciating, respecting, admiring, and satisfying themselves, they make themselves worthy of a woman’s love.
- Men do whatever women require in order to have frequent and convenient access to sex. If women require little, they get many candidates of little worth. They make a man’s life too easy and leave him unchallenged. OTOH, fruitless striving to get her into bed frustrates him into investing more of himself, which results in his becoming worthy of her.
- A woman’s love develops quickly when it matches her hopes and dreams for life with a man. When she looks for Mr. Right, however, she short-circuits her instinctive and intuitive decision-making system.
- Relationship harmony flows more out of mutual respect and likeability than as the result of love. IOW, love is never enough in spite of how women expect otherwise—both hopelessly and habitually.
- Wives wonder if husband is proud of her. Here’s the answer. Married hunter-conquers, their weapons neutralized by love of wife, nevertheless desire competitor buddies to be envious of past conquests. The more femininely rare the wife appears, the more envy it stirs, and conquerors love it.
Tag Archives: love is never enough
I keep reminding readers that love is never enough. However, I may have found the exception. It applies to marriage alone and neither dating nor courtship (except as she judges a man’s being worthy of it).
After more than a decade of analyzing and writing about relationships that arise out of motivations inherited at birth, I finally identified the single most important ingredient capable of sealing a marriage into an eternal one.
If you use the proposed strategy, you will be puzzled at first by the ease of future success. You should subordinate all else to the long-range satisfaction of husband, which exploits your female need for a brighter future. It doesn’t mean you ignore present expectations or frustrations of husband or yourself, but you manage outcomes to add flavor to satisfaction that lasts beyond today or current event.
Also, as managing your marital relationship becomes easier, you will also turn more grateful for yourself.
Your job is simple; you get constant feedback, because you aim to get it. From it, you learn to more accurately read husband’s conclusions. With one single aim, you learn how to act and react according to what and why husband acts, reacts, speaks, infers, and implies. With one strategy, many peripheral matters become insignificant and quickly eliminated as you read his actions and reactions and interpret his words into meaning for you.
You should make it standard practice to love satisfying your man first and foremost. When he recognizes that he’s blessed with a helluva good woman who keeps him satisfied, his role as successful man is automatically realized.
Here’s the strategy. Learn to love satisfying husband and keeping him satisfied more than you actually love him as person, love object, hugger. Too much of a good thing for you can be too much for your man after romantic love fades.
The strategy takes your focus off of using attention and affection and focuses on getting him to please you just for being present in his life. That is, he’s satisfied with himself and the life he carved out and made successful. Of course, he’s not the one who actually does all the work, but he gets all the credit for being responsible as the originator of the marital adventure. Keep it up to date insofar as possible with these three things.
- He is and continues to be satisfied with you as wife, lover, friend, smiling companion, mother of kids, solver of problems that don’t concern him, etc.
- He is and continues to be satisfied living with you. 1) You recognize, respect, appreciate, and depend upon his providing, producing, protecting, and solving of problems too big for you. 2) You respect his independence to deal with his job and never intrude without his asking. 3) In marital disputes and negotiations, he usually concludes himself the winner. With typical feminine charm, patience, wit, and smiles, you enable him to appear that way.
As a woman, think of it this way, because it’s closer to truth that what many women expect. A satisfied man radiates his love whether it shows or not. The question for you: Did you provide it over time or did he accomplish something self-satisfying today? You can tell the difference when you love to satisfy him, and that’s why the strategy is so effective. It makes your life simpler if not easier.
OTOH, if you consider a man or your man unworthy of that kind of attention and courtesy, you shouldn’t marry him. If already married, you should color your marriage as temporary. A man’s satisfaction with himself born out of his satisfaction with you, living with you, and enjoying his wisdom for having married you, those make up the marital superglue.
Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady claims, “The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated.” If not her behavior, then her appearance must determine lady-like treatment. My late wife, Her Majesty Grace, repeated this many times: “If she dresses like a whore, she is treated like a whore.” Again, appearance touted as critical to how a woman will be treated.
Women can’t motivate men or change men’s minds about judging women. Women can only motivate themselves to change themselves, and thereby hope and figure that men’s judgments will become more favorable and somehow morph into better treatment. Two factors play vital roles in such relationship development. Attractiveness triggers the start up. Conquest stops the high rate of previous development.
Boiled down to the essence, either women pay more attention to their personal attractiveness every day, or men will continue to find them less and less adequate for mating. No man wants to be seen associating permanently with a less than attractive mate. It is not women, it is the male nature, the way they are born as competitors.
Women have been propagandized into adopting masculine-style sexual freedom. The sexual revolution was designed by radical feminists to make enemies of men and women—a political objective. It worked primarily by blaming men for the problems of women.
Even though it works to the marital disadvantage of women, they exploit masculine-style sexual freedom. It motivates them to dress sexually attractive and yield more easily to conquest, both of which make them poorer wives as potential husbands judge them.
Men don’t marry for sex, they marry for a good woman upon whom they can depend to provide the essentials for husbandly life to grow per his wishes. He’s simple; love is never enough. Faithful husbands need three things. Satisfied with her as his woman, satisfied that he likes living with her, and satisfied that his marriage is working to his advantage and compensating for yielding his independence. All of which makes her that much more valuable to him, provided she promotes her own attractiveness.
Nowadays, in hope of establishing relationships, modern women assume the role of seller with men as buyer, a reversal of their natural roles. Women now expect to prove their worth to earn a man, and they use sex as coin of the realm. They mistakenly think it makes them unique, but sex organs are similar in all women, so where does a woman’s uniqueness come from? Her unique virtues emanate out of her mind, heart, character, and personality. Women’s wishes to the contrary, men don’t marry for sex; it’s a sideline benefit but neither prime motivator nor prime keeper of a husband’s dedication.
Women use sex for leverage without grasping these facts. Sex neither bonds a man as it does a woman, nor holds him with any permanency, nor makes her unique, nor makes her the virtuous woman that men seek to marry. IOW, by women using sex to attract a man, it causes them to end up as more sex target than marriage target.
Even worse for women, provided with cheap and easy unmarried sex, men miss the experience of discovering a woman’s virtues. Positive qualities that each man admires and considers to be virtues.
Men uncover a woman’s virtues while studying her for weaknesses to facilitate conquest. After bedding her the first time, he quits looking for weaknesses, the result of which is the virtual end of discovering qualities he can admire. He paid whatever price she expected for conquest, which means he need do nothing more to understand her better. In principle, he owns their sexual agenda and, by inference, her.
Thus, relationship development is severely curtailed by both conquest and lack of wearing attractive, complementary, and clean and well-groomed attire.
A man wants last to see his wife treated by others as a sex target. Instead, he wants her seen so attractive that his male competitors admire his having captured her, and respect him that she now belongs to him.
When a husband is so satisfied that he values his marriage above his independence, he has married a good wife. Out of that satisfying arrangement, faithfulness and fidelity emerge and grow.
Thus, attractive attire and grooming and delay of conquest prolong the development of relationships until potential husbands truly appreciate her attractiveness, and it becomes enhanced by her virtues discovered accidentally while looking for ways to conquer her.