Tag Archives: love is never enough

2848. Man-think about Her “Do You Love Me?”

The male nature—man-think—works like the following when confronted with a woman’s angst about her worthiness to her man.

Every day I figure out more clearly that when a woman asks a man if he loves her, she calls up little but confusion in his mind. Out of that confusion comes a lot of vibes that do not necessarily help a relationship.

She routinely asks, “Do you love me?” without realizing that men just don’t think about love and its meanings the same as women.

  • His mind prevents him from calling it love in his heart. As a man, he can’t do all the things that she does to care for and do in her loving of others. He’s nowhere near the caring person she is, and caring is what her love is all about. It’s not his nature, and so he’s caught in a whirl of confusion trying to deal with his favorite woman, when she asks that question so vital to her own well-being.
  • He wants to answer but he can’t find sincerity. Love as she knows it does not reside in his heart. He knows that, but also knows that she expects it to be there. He doesn’t want to lie, disappoint, or come up short in her eyes. So, he blurts out “of course” and guilt—from the dishonesty within himself—keeps him from going much further to convince her.
  • Trying to be honest, he spouts out whatever is needed to get him clear of the moment. However, sincerity is missing from his response. She senses being somewhat cheated, uncertainty sets in, and she begins to inquire more often. The more often she asks, the worse he feels from inability to be sincere to someone he admires, likes, and appreciates with all his heart.

Now, if she asked ‘do you like me’ she would get several different responses. Probably an excess of affirmatives and, perhaps, more frequent displays of attention, affection, and appreciation. Man-think works well and clearly—easily sincere and honest—when the question is whether someone or something is liked.

Months ago I concluded that love is never enough to hold a couple together as women are prone to believe. I began writing about mutual likeability being the paramount ingredient in a successful relationship. That which I posed above confirms my earlier decisions. Deal with men in likeability rather than love and a woman will find a more accurate path to where she stands with her man.

In short, her just asking a man if he loves her can weaken his dedication to her. How? It weakens his dedication to himself to be honest, which weakens his character, and which undercuts his ability to treat his woman with the highest regard he can muster at any given moment.

To help keep a man honest, sincere, and forthright, never ask him if he loves you. Ask him if he likes you, and—as a woman—you can find out the strength of his sincerity by his actions. In short, for a woman to find the love of a man, she must first be so likeable that he struggles just to be around her. Three little words may satisfy her ears, but his sincerity, honesty, and actions prove his dedication.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

2821. Love is Never Enough — 01: Introduction

I begin the new year with this new theme. Love is never enough. I may have bitten off more than I can chew. I will have to hunt and peck my way through the gigantic female problems that flow out of it, but I’ll keep chewing till readers say stop.

Why is love never enough? Christ’s teachings are under attack and pastors take no public offense. Love has been discredited by political activists and undergoes replacement by sex. Women contradict themselves daily. Relationships function with fractious love. Men don’t live by love unless females teach them how to thrive with it, and newer generations of women have lost both interest and ability.

Love is a humongous subject in all its forms. I focus only on one form: LOVE AS MOTIVATOR AMONG COUPLES. Motivation to act, to reveal or follow one’s emotions about their appreciation of each other. Specifically, how does one show love and how does a loved one react and respond in today’s social marketplace and domestic scene?

You see, if you love someone enough, it’s normal to expect they should love you back? At least that’s how many women think; their love can overcome all else. Desperate probably amid lack of knowledge of how to do it anyway, women forget or ignore that men function primarily on respect rather than love.

Well, humans work this way. The lovee takes in and responds differently from what the lover gives and expects in return. What she gives she does not get back. Two minds do not work the same, most not even alike. Far too often in modern times and between the sexes, minds work opposite one to another.

Thus, love is not nearly enough for couples. Without her love dominating a relationship, it means her man dominates it. Men don’t know how to breathe success into a relationship, but they try it anyway, and couples breakup regularly as the result. A man dominating a relationship—very different from dominating his woman—goes contrary to how the sexes are designed, but women stifle their ability by not focusing on things other than expressions of love.

Love is not even understood by women who spread it; they seem to have given up the ability to understand the effects of sharing their love. For example, excited, she shows her man some affection but she doesn’t hear him mumble: Hell, yesterday you said I was a pig. As the result of such contradictions, love currently fails to provide what women expect out of life.

Christ empowered women by legitimizing love as a powerful social and political influence, if just used as He exemplified it. More powerful social and relationship influence flowing from female love generates greater influence in the affairs of mankind, and so love helps provide women with political influence. But how close to Christ’s examples do modern women live?

I don’t expect women to live like Christ. He leads by example and models the best life for us to follow. I hope to just explain this to women. Their lack of success in relationships, marriage, and life is caused by their drifting too far away from what men define as a good mate. Men expect a good woman, so how does she become good as potential mate?

Feminists claim she’s already a good woman, and men continue on their way of further subjugating women with sex for pleasure.


Filed under Dear daughter, How she loses, marriage


Best wishes to all of you. Your company last year was very satisfying.

Ladies, I face a search. What next? I finished my original task and it put me out of business. I drifted away from reader interest. I went too far for everyone but me. It took ten years to complete my objective, but no one wanted the end result. So now I drift.

I know how my doing right for me ended up wrong for others, but that’s okay. I’m quite satisfied with myself.

First day of the year, and I ponder if anything is left in me that others might use in the battle of the sexes. I’m searching for a major theme if there is one.

Some ladies claim they learn easily from my responses to readers’ comments. So your questions are invited.

In the meantime I’ve settled in on one subject that should be of significant interest to readers. At least I’ll try to make it that way.

The subject is: Love is never enough. It’s next, and I view it playing for quite a while.


Filed under Dear daughter, feminine

2665. Refresher Thoughts — 04

  1. Criticism doesn’t lift its finger to help. Self-criticism lifts a finger, but it holds a knife dulled by too much use.
  2. Gratitude lifts its finger to help. Self-gratitude lifts the whole hand.
  3. When its customary for women to be overweight, underweight becomes rare, which means trophy to hunter-conquerors.
  4. Men don’t give up their independence for marriage. They give up the appearance of it. Husbands remain determined to satisfy themselves with their lives. She’s expected to take care of things for which he better be noticeably proud, grateful, and crown her as highly important.
  5. Women think because men eat heavy, it’s all right for women, who forget that men feast with their eyes and hunter-conquerors seek the most attractive targets.
  6. Men figure they are easy to love. By appreciating, respecting, admiring, and satisfying themselves, they make themselves worthy of a woman’s love.
  7. Men do whatever women require in order to have frequent and convenient access to sex. If women require little, they get many candidates of little worth. They make a man’s life too easy and leave him unchallenged. OTOH, fruitless striving to get her into bed frustrates him into investing more of himself, which results in his becoming worthy of her.
  8. A woman’s love develops quickly when it matches her hopes and dreams for life with a man. When she looks for Mr. Right, however, she short-circuits her instinctive and intuitive decision-making system.
  9. Relationship harmony flows more out of mutual respect and likeability than as the result of love. IOW, love is never enough in spite of how women expect otherwise—both hopelessly and habitually.
  10. Wives wonder if husband is proud of her. Here’s the answer. Married hunter-conquers, their weapons neutralized by love of wife, nevertheless desire competitor buddies to be envious of past conquests. The more femininely rare the wife appears, the more envy it stirs, and conquerors love it.


Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage

2629. Marital Superglue, Start to Finish

I keep reminding readers that love is never enough. However, I may have found the exception. It applies to marriage alone and neither dating nor courtship (except as she judges a man’s being worthy of it).

After more than a decade of analyzing and writing about relationships that arise out of motivations inherited at birth, I finally identified the single most important ingredient capable of sealing a marriage into an eternal one.

If you use the proposed strategy, you will be puzzled at first by the ease of future success. You should subordinate all else to the long-range satisfaction of husband, which exploits your female need for a brighter future. It doesn’t mean you ignore present expectations or frustrations of husband or yourself, but you manage outcomes to add flavor to satisfaction that lasts beyond today or current event.

Also, as managing your marital relationship becomes easier, you will also turn more grateful for yourself.

Your job is simple; you get constant feedback, because you aim to get it. From it, you learn to more accurately read husband’s conclusions. With one single aim, you learn how to act and react according to what and why husband acts, reacts, speaks, infers, and implies. With one strategy, many peripheral matters become insignificant and quickly eliminated as you read his actions and reactions and interpret his words into meaning for you.

You should make it standard practice to love satisfying your man first and foremost. When he recognizes that he’s blessed with a helluva good woman who keeps him satisfied, his role as successful man is automatically realized.

Here’s the strategy. Learn to love satisfying husband and keeping him satisfied more than you actually love him as person, love object, hugger. Too much of a good thing for you can be too much for your man after romantic love fades.

The strategy takes your focus off of using attention and affection and focuses on getting him to please you just for being present in his life. That is, he’s satisfied with himself and the life he carved out and made successful. Of course, he’s not the one who actually does all the work, but he gets all the credit for being responsible as the originator of the marital adventure. Keep it up to date insofar as possible with these three things.

  • He is and continues to be satisfied with you as wife, lover, friend, smiling companion, mother of kids, solver of problems that don’t concern him, etc.
  • He is and continues to be satisfied living with you. 1) You recognize, respect, appreciate, and depend upon his providing, producing, protecting, and solving of problems too big for you. 2) You respect his independence to deal with his job and never intrude without his asking. 3) In marital disputes and negotiations, he usually concludes himself the winner. With typical feminine charm, patience, wit, and smiles, you enable him to appear that way.

As a woman, think of it this way, because it’s closer to truth that what many women expect. A satisfied man radiates his love whether it shows or not. The question for you: Did you provide it over time or did he accomplish something self-satisfying today? You can tell the difference when you love to satisfy him, and that’s why the strategy is so effective. It makes your life simpler if not easier.

OTOH, if you consider a man or your man unworthy of that kind of attention and courtesy, you shouldn’t marry him. If already married, you should color your marriage as temporary. A man’s satisfaction with himself born out of his satisfaction with you, living with you, and enjoying his wisdom for having married you, those make up the marital superglue.


Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, Her glory, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

2615. Pretty Time

Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady claims, “The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated.” If not her behavior, then her appearance must determine lady-like treatment. My late wife, Her Majesty Grace, repeated this many times: “If she dresses like a whore, she is treated like a whore.” Again, appearance touted as critical to how a woman will be treated.

Women can’t motivate men or change men’s minds about judging women. Women can only motivate themselves to change themselves, and thereby hope and figure that men’s judgments will become more favorable and somehow morph into better treatment. Two factors play vital roles in such relationship development. Attractiveness triggers the start up. Conquest stops the high rate of previous development.

Boiled down to the essence, either women pay more attention to their personal attractiveness every day, or men will continue to find them less and less adequate for mating. No man wants to be seen associating permanently with a less than attractive mate. It is not women, it is the male nature, the way they are born as competitors.

Women have been propagandized into adopting masculine-style sexual freedom. The sexual revolution was designed by radical feminists to make enemies of men and women—a political objective. It worked primarily by blaming men for the problems of women.

Even though it works to the marital disadvantage of women, they exploit masculine-style sexual freedom. It motivates them to dress sexually attractive and yield more easily to conquest, both of which make them poorer wives as potential husbands judge them.

Men don’t marry for sex, they marry for a good woman upon whom they can depend to provide the essentials for husbandly life to grow per his wishes. He’s simple; love is never enough. Faithful husbands need three things. Satisfied with her as his woman, satisfied that he likes living with her, and satisfied that his marriage is working to his advantage and compensating for yielding his independence. All of which makes her that much more valuable to him, provided she promotes her own attractiveness.

Nowadays, in hope of establishing relationships, modern women assume the role of seller with men as buyer, a reversal of their natural roles. Women now expect to prove their worth to earn a man, and they use sex as coin of the realm. They mistakenly think it makes them unique, but sex organs are similar in all women, so where does a woman’s uniqueness come from? Her unique virtues emanate out of her mind, heart, character, and personality. Women’s wishes to the contrary, men don’t marry for sex; it’s a sideline benefit but neither prime motivator nor prime keeper of a husband’s dedication.

Women use sex for leverage without grasping these facts. Sex neither bonds a man as it does a woman, nor holds him with any permanency, nor makes her unique, nor makes her the virtuous woman that men seek to marry. IOW, by women using sex to attract a man, it causes them to end up as more sex target than marriage target.

Even worse for women, provided with cheap and easy unmarried sex, men miss the experience of discovering a woman’s virtues. Positive qualities that each man admires and considers to be virtues.

Men uncover a woman’s virtues while studying her for weaknesses to facilitate conquest. After bedding her the first time, he quits looking for weaknesses, the result of which is the virtual end of discovering qualities he can admire. He paid whatever price she expected for conquest, which means he need do nothing more to understand her better. In principle, he owns their sexual agenda and, by inference, her.

Thus, relationship development is severely curtailed by both conquest and lack of wearing attractive, complementary, and clean and well-groomed attire.

A man wants last to see his wife treated by others as a sex target. Instead, he wants her seen so attractive that his male competitors admire his having captured her, and respect him that she now belongs to him.

When a husband is so satisfied that he values his marriage above his independence, he has married a good wife. Out of that satisfying arrangement, faithfulness and fidelity emerge and grow.

Thus, attractive attire and grooming and delay of conquest prolong the development of relationships until potential husbands truly appreciate her attractiveness, and it becomes enhanced by her virtues discovered accidentally while looking for ways to conquer her.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins, marriage, The mind