Tag Archives: male

264. From feminine mystique to feminist mistakes—Part 5


Allow me to personalize the male and female natures as Manhood and Womanhood. I wish to describe traditional America before the 1960s.

Womanhood capitalized on male dominance instead of tearing it down. She supported Manhood’s dominance of society (what people do), while she took over dominance of the culture (why people do it).

Womanhood’s goal: One reliable man to help fulfill her dreams for nesting, nurturing, and nestling with loved ones. She sought stable marriage and family. She convinced Manhood to provide the wherewithal and do the hard labor. In return, she rewarded his husbanding and fathering.

She gained status and added personal stature by making herself very different and highly unique. She capitalized on gender differences and exploited the female nature. Her character was shaped around feminine mystique, female modesty, moral standards, marriage, monogamy, manners, virginity, virtual virginity, soft-heartedness inside and hard-headedness outside of marriage,  and whatever else would distinguish her from Manhood.

She taught daughters to mature first, love next, leave sex to marriage, and uplift manliness and masculinity as the way to fulfill female hopes and dreams.

In the process she earned Manhood’s unconditional respect for the female sex. The benefits grew through the decades. Womanhood changed cultural values and the social and domestic environments in such ways that the genders respected the opposite sex more than their own (e.g., my generation).

Womanhood developed American life into a family game. She emphasized separate but equal genders with cooperative rather than competing roles. In her eyes, good character and virtuous actions overwhelmed looks, interests, and words.

For over a century, Manhood was preoccupied on the job with technological and economic advancements. He dominated workplace and society. Gradually adopting wifely-inspired and family-friendly values, however, Manhood gradually yielded dominance of home and culture.

Family dominance was a toss up, but mostly it had the appearance of husband as head, wife as neck, and children as no more than adult-hopefuls. Womanhood accepted and parlayed this truism: Perceptions are reality, and whatever appears to be, is.

Manhood bought into the lifelong married life sought by Womanhood. Family responsibility guided husbands in the workplace and society. With laws, wealth, and leadership, husbands shaped America to his wife’s vision of family-centeredness.

Mutual respect grew as husbands implemented feminine values in society. Husbands in the workplace made America more family friendly. The beginning of the end, however, arose in the 1960s.

[More on old school America appears in posts 263, 238, 218, and 204 below. Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following it.]

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224. Newlywed Bonding #1 —Intro


Marriages deteriorate more easily and become temporary, than they solidify and become permanent. Deterioration requires little else than inattention, sloppiness, carelessness.  

Solidifying a marriage requires a lot of shared goals and planning to sustain mutual respect. Making the process habitual in the early years produces desired results later. (Grace and I didn’t get the shortcomings of our early marriage straightened out until our third decade together.)

First impressions last, and early marriage sets the stage for whatever follows. Jointly built successes bond a couple. Failures, weaknesses, and even good intentions do not bond and can smother love to death.

Consequently, newlywed success depends on preventing relationship harm. That’s where forming good habits comes in. It requires mutual devotion—not just commitment—to build new habits that stamp out premarital bad habits that lead to deterioration.

This Newlywed Bonding series covers four beneficial habits that chase bad habits away:

1.     Virtue as relationship glue

2.     Money as relationship slave

3.     Separate but equal as teamwork

4.     Custom as dispute avoidance

The first good habit will appear in a few days. The Table of Contents at the top lists many subjects pertaining to living successfully with someone of the opposite sex.

NOTE: A nice and classy young lady, Tricia, inspired this series of posts. I pray her pending marriage matches her public pleasantness, charm, and sense of responsibility.

 

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186. Female Fortitude — 17 through 25


These ‘fortitudinals’ provide themes or summarize posts. The paragraph numbers match the posts.

17.      A mature woman can cope with her man’s sharp tongue much easier than he can with hers.

18.      When words are enough to conquer, that and little else is what men will offer.

19.      Female soft-headedness: She wants her own man so badly that she signs up with almost any male offer.

21.      Com-mit-ment counts as three little words. So does, “What’s for dinner?”

22.      Some women tear down manliness and masculinity to get what women want. Other women uplift manliness and masculinity to get what women want.

23.      Feminism divides and alienates men and women. Femininity breathes harmony into male-female relationships.

24.      Women marry expecting their man to change, but he doesn’t. Men marry expecting their wife not to change, but she does.

25.      Virtual virginity buys time to earn a man’s devotion, which bonds more tightly than commitment.

[Previous fortitudinals appear in posts 176 and 182.]

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132. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 5


Men delight in easy conquest. It adds temporary value to her, but devalues her as keeper.

♂ Few things expose a man’s character more readily than being repeatedly denied sex by a woman on whom he has set his sights for conquest.

♂ Boys raised with little affection before puberty neither provide nor respond well to affection later in life. [More about displays of affection at post 3.]

♂ Conquerors can be grateful and possess good intentions, but their drive to conquer another woman never completely dies. It’s the male nature, and only devotion earned by one woman holds it in check.

♂ A woman’s refusal for unmarried sex builds virtue that earns a man’s respect and signifies that she will probably be faithful to him.

♂ Courtship without sexual relations teaches boys and men to suppress their aggression and honor a female’s standards and expectations. The process also exposes males to the female’s non-sexual qualities.

♂ Easily available, unobligated, and unmarried sex aids the conquerors’ pursuit. On the other hand, men must work harder to impress and ‘sell’ themselves as guardians of female interests when women abstain outside marriage.

♂ Enduring love for men is based on respect earned earlier about her virtue, self-respect, likeability as mate, but overwhelmingly about her gratitude for who he is and what he does.

♂ Fathers may acquiesce, but they don’t take kindly to mothers accepting and supporting the inevitability of a daughter’s unmarried sexual activity.  

♂ Failure of a man to honor a woman’s standards and expectations means more of the same will follow after conquest regardless of what he says before that monumental event.

[More jack about Jack appear at posts 114, 97, 91, and 7.]

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118. MARRY WEATHER


NOTE: This post is dedicated to Tina, the extraordinary woman that inspired it.  

Courtship cool: If she makes it easy for him to know her, she makes it hard for him to keep her. Mystery captivates. Candidness victimizes her for whatever strengths of his dominance he chooses to use.  

Hunting season: A woman’s openness with a man does not serve her until after years of marriage and maybe not even then. Men as hunter-conquerors like tough targets, difficult game, hard-to-get prizes that first challenge and later provide frequent reminders of their manliness. The woman that makes it easy for him to understand her—or to take up residence with her—trains him against her best interests.

Long-range forecast: The greatest male candidate for marriage has unconditional respect for the opposite sex that exceeds respect for his own sex. The same applies to women candidates, but it’s easier to observe in women than men.

Stormy weather: The only window of opportunity to change a man opens before and closes after his sexual conquest of her. What she marries is what she gets, until his natural hard-heart mellows and hard-head softens with age.

Lousy forecast: Some women are not true to themselves. They act phony to capture a man. Men marry expecting wife NOT to change, but she does. If she’s phony before marriage, she turns into a woman he did not marry. 

Unseasonably warm front: Women marry and expect husband to change, but he doesn’t. Change is unmanly, but men relent when necessary to convince, court, and conquer a woman they view as extraordinary.

Occluded front: They are different. A man takes his relationship for granted. She reads it as his taking her for granted. Both follow their nature.

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114. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 4


A man’s discoveries of a woman’s strengths and attributes fade after their first sex together. He need not look further. It’s his nature more than her.

A man’s love is based on respect for an extraordinary woman who outshines most others. She becomes extraordinary in his eyes, if he has to work hard to impress her, hold her attention, and otherwise prove himself worthy of her. Her attractiveness just gets the ball rolling.

A man’s natural loyalty lies primarily with his job or whatever he must do to satisfy his sense of significance. The right and extraordinary woman can get a permanent arrangement. Others cannot, except for temporary comfort and functionality.

A man’s not really interested in her, if he’s not intrigued by her feminine persona. Or, if he ridicules her female modesty. Or, if he mocks her moral, religious, feminine, or parental standards. Or, if he insists that she do something she knows is not good for her.

A man’s respect for women generally and one in particular is not essential to a temporary relationship, but it is for a permanent one.

A woman that uses gratitude, indirectness, and endless patience can turn an inadequate husband from frog to prince to king. Love and affection are not enough though.

A female’s denial of unmarried sex spurs a male’s imagination to go beyond words of commitment and show devotion through new and innovative actions. If it doesn’t, she’s more temp than keeper.

After a couple’s first sex together, the man assumes control of their sexual agenda as conqueror’s right, or he moves on.  

After conquest the infatuated but not fascinated man focuses on life with her as sex partner at the cheapest cost to him—girlfriend, lover, live in, or wife if necessary.

Even before a man starts a relationship, she’s his target for conquest. Her value goes up with his difficulty achieving his goal. How he handles her obstacles discloses if he’s truly into her. 

 

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113. Sex is iffy.


When fascination, infatuation, lust, respect, and love fade for a woman, men resort to character and nature. Women usually suffer consequences with roots in their first sex together.

The male mind set comes in all shapes and sizes. But, like women, they have their own set of expectations. Unfortunately for women, masculine expectations lean toward conquest more than relationship stability. That’s evident in the way men change after conquest of a woman.

If he won’t honor her values, standards, and expectations before conquest, he likely won’t afterward.

If he won’t make himself worthy of her before conquest, instead of her becoming worthy of him, he likely won’t afterward.

If he won’t romance her before they get into foreplay and intercourse, he likely won’t learn to do it for their future together. [See post #33, ‘Romance Gap’ is all about her.]

If he’s the buyer and she’s the seller before marriage, look out for the dump that’s likely coming.  

If she’s not the seller to his buyer role after marriage, she’s likely qualifying herself for abandonment.

If she expects his devotion, remember that it arises from what he does for her, not what she does for him.

If she yields to him, she should expect conqueror’s rights to kick in. First, he takes charge of their sexual agenda.

If she expects to be a big trophy for him: The harder to get, the bigger the trophy.

If she expects her feminist leanings, attitude, and political expectations to override his natural masculine behaviors, her value to him will diminish over time.

If after they marry she waters down her help, support, gratitude, and encouragement for who and what he is, she may also want to research where the local exes recovery group is meeting. 

 

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