Tag Archives: management

430. Relationship Maintenance, Poor Intent

Her relationship gets shaky, uncomfortable, and in need of improvement. It calls for relationship maintenance. She can describe the problems, but she has no control. It depresses her, which makes everything worse. Frustrated, she finally turns to him.

Relationship maintenance is her domain, but it suggests management. Trying to get him involved generates more anguish than she already suffers.

Women think in terms of relationship maintenance. Men don’t. To a man, his relationship with her exists, period, whether lumpy, frumpy, or grumpy. Not to say he won’t want to help, just that he most likely will respond negatively or worse to the idea because blame attaches to him.

When women expect their man to help in such conditions, they are usually disappointed because men don’t do relationship maintenance. It’s unnecessary, as he sees it.

He also reads her as saying he’s at fault, inadequate, or insignificant. His outer assertiveness melts to reveal his defensive armor.

A better approach exists for her. Both maintenance and management suggests getting people to live up to what the boss expects. It can offend at home as well as on the job. The principles of both depersonalize people.

Leadership, on the other hand, inspires people to live up to what others admire. Best practice calls for a woman to focus on what she admires about her man and watch him live up to it. Then, expand her admiration to other things about him. It works like fertilizer to grow him into the Right Man.

She’s better off by keeping both her need and the concept of maintenance in the closet.


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67. Exes, dumpees, and left behinds—Section I

Girls and women repeatedly spend time as ex-girlfriend, ex-lover, ex-live in, ex-wife. Whether searching, shacking up, or married, women repeatedly bounce from one misery to another interrupted frequently with love that doesn’t last and often with a new child. First with a guy and then without, and then with a guy and then without, and then….

Males are just males. Mothers, girls, and wives turn them into promising boys and mature men that please or displease females.

Every man expects he will be great as a mate—by masculine standards, that is. They must be taught otherwise, if female expectations are met.

Sexual encounters do not improve men, because sex neither bonds nor changes them for female advantage. The actions and reactions of women withholding intercourse teach men to adopt female-friendly behaviors and try harder to please females.

When there’s a shortage of unmarried sex all across society, it shapes masculine thinking toward goodness and what women appreciate. Trying to qualify for sex by searching for a female’s weaknesses, a man coincidentally learns about her non-sexual strengths and qualities of value to him. His love needs that base, if it’s to endure beyond the fading of lust, infatuation, and romantic love.

The presence of unmarried sex all across modern society shapes masculine thinking against what women appreciate. The ease of bouncing blossom to blossom lures men away from spending very much effort on females and especially the baggage-laden interests of one. Also, male dominance intensifies.

Modern women don’t rise to the challenge of relationship management required to succeed as a couple. Instead, they act less feminine, more masculine, and objectify themselves for trading in the sexual marketplace.

When relationship mistakes and failures become evident, she dumps him before he dumps her.

She recycles to the dreaded ex side of life. Her lament: ♫Where oh when ♫is my next boyfriend? She sighs and sponges up the sympathy and encouragement of her girlfriends. But the next hook up restarts the cycle.   

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