I apologize for prematurely defining and describing male love as if it exists in some form close to female love. It doesn’t, and the more we try to match male and female love as alike, the less we understand the male nature.
Outside of marriage, a man is willing to share some of who he is and what he does with a woman. We call it love but it confuses and prevents clarity when examining the male nature. His love is more a willingness to share parts of who he is as compared to the female’s ‘I’m all yours’. I eliminate the following two phony forms of manly love. After that, we will describe a man’s true love
- A man proclaims his love in order to bed gals of sexual interest. It may or may not be a sincere expression of his heart, but it isn’t true love.
- A man proclaims his love to keep close a gal of interest in his present life. He may or may not be sincere but likely expresses his mind; at least enough to serve his self-interest. Again, however, it isn’t masculine true love, which is a one-time event described below.
Just as women do with their heart, a man first loves internally but with both heart and mind. To introduce the meaning of what follows below, I summarize how husbands love a wife, and it comes out expressed in one or two ways.
1) Devoted to his woman more than himself. Men who love at first sight usually are like that. A few others learn the practice in early courtship by pleasing their woman so extensively they learn it makes them feel better than it pleases her.
2) Devoted to himself. With obligation to his woman as prime motivator, he’s devoted to satisfying himself that he’s capable of success in whatever he undertakes on their behalf. It’s the most common form of masculine love and so difficult for women to perceive and appreciate.
To more deeply understand the male nature, however, let’s eliminate the use of love from a man’s behavior. In truth, as it functions in him, it’s irrelevant. If you’re puzzled, answers follow, I hope.
Let’s presume that what wife gets in marriage is not love as she shares hers but something else. Something that, by comparison, exceeds and is more stable than female love. It’s backed up by a man’s heart and mind, by commitment rather than just playfulness, duty rather than just passion, responsibility rather than just partnering, determination not to fail rather than just take a risk, and, perhaps in some cases, devotion rather than just living as partners. In short, his love doesn’t appear as love but more as the willingness to include her within his life.
I can’t know this but to add clarity, it must work this way. I declare that a man’s true love exists only when he decides to propose; it’s the only time he puts everything together in his heart and mind and decides that he will commit himself to one woman for a life together. He determines that he will find more satisfaction living with her than satisfaction in the way he lives at the moment.
It’s an instantaneous conclusion built on months of self-analysis, consideration of who and what she can be to him, their mutual likeability, and his willingness to commit himself to living with someone else.
The intensity of female love has no male counterpart. Women infatuate easily, love romantically, and hotly justify and act out their love. Men do none of that, except in pursuit of passion.
Man commits himself based on what he knows about himself and his intentions and goals, mind and heart harmonized. He concludes that he will be better satisfied living with his potential fiancé as wife than living any longer by himself. And that’s the key; he decides he will be more satisfied with her than just by himself. His independent decision acknowledges his true love to himself and provides the emotional energy behind his proposal to marry.
Standing behind his proposal is his determination to offer up all of who he is and what he does on behalf of his new endeavor. He goes all in, leaves nothing on the table. His sense of responsibility says he won’t fail. He never undertakes new ventures with the expectation to not accomplish his objective. His determination says he will be trying hard not to fail. His character strengthens his interest. Her likeability and his loyalty reinforce his uplifting morale. He tackles it exactly the same way he takes on a new task to achieve; finish the job and do it well.
Without her even trying to win him over with special love efforts, once he decides she’s the one, then she gets him and all that comes with him. It’s much more than emotional connections; it’s his devoting heart and mind to prospective wife and children. His marriage takes first priority for keeping his life together, and she’s exactly the one he wants to manage successfully those things for which he lacks ability or interest.
And that, dear ladies, has led me to the conclusion that the main purpose of marriage is to energize a man’s true love more than lock him down legally.
Inside of marriage, however, a man commits to sharing himself totally with a wife—but it doesn’t always appear that way to her and that’s where women go astray or just wrong. She expects more than he seems to deliver. He’s more passive, because he’s satisfied that he committed himself to live with her without turning himself into a different man. As a man, he’s not too interested into initiating special attention and affection as women do.
She expects a husband to help fulfill her dreams; he expects to continue as before but in a different environment, that is, in their home. He anticipates no problems, or he would not have committed himself to living with her.
Love is never enough because men don’t add emotional connections to a relationship or marriage. They indirectly add their body and soul to the marriage more than to her. Oh, we call it love, because women insist on hearing it called that and expect to be shown attention, appreciation, and affection as women show it. But it’s a whole lot more than female love.
In how they view and exchange regard for each other, respect is to men what love is to women. In how they relate in marriage, responsibility and dedication to the marriage is to men what love is to women. We all understand the female side of marital relations, but you see the male side here for the first time in what should be seen as glory.
When a man marries, he doesn’t bring female style-love with him; he brings manly style ‘love’—himself in all the self-glory he can muster to pump up his willingness to satisfy himself for doing the right thing.
Wives lose husbands this way. He’s all into their marriage as he anticipated it, and into her as she was when he proposed. IOW, he expects little else, because he expects his proposal judgment to be infallible and no problems injecting his lifestyle into the new marital arrangement.
OTOH, she’s already busy figuring out how to change herself, marriage, and him to better fit her girlhood or fiancée hopes and dreams. She changes his future before he gets used to living with her in his new present-day arrangement. It’s not the road to success as couple.
In the end, a man’s love may lack affection but is loaded with dedication, may lack female expressions of love but is loaded with sense of responsibility, may lack interpersonal attention but is loaded with masculine desire to succeed in marriage. He may even ignore her and how well she manages their relationship in the sure certainty and knowledge that she enables him to succeed as husband.
Thus, the primary purpose of the marriage ceremony is to get the groom hardwired into exposing his true love. Her love isn’t enough; it takes his commitment of self and investment of his interest to engineer and accomplish success within their marriage.
NATURAL LAW: A woman’s love arises out of her self-love, plenty of which she was born with, and she spreads it liberally. A man’s respect arises out of his self-respect, plenty of which he was born with, but he insists that his respect be earned.