- As women go, so goes society. When men do not admire feminine qualities, they see less promise in women as mates, they pay less attention to female values, standards, hopes, and dreams. In response, they dominate women and children more disrespectfully and aggressively.
- Men appreciate but do not admire a woman’s display of her sexual attributes. Sizes and shapes may vary but every woman is equipped with the ultimate target for hunters. It does not make a trophy. Why should men admire what is so common? Consequently, her virtuous qualities far outweigh her sexual assets for both getting and staying married.
- A woman’s need of romance is not a virtue; men appreciate but do not admire her need. Fulfilling romantic notions is more of what he has to do. It is seed planting, prelude, and foreplay and usually in that order unless a woman yields easily.
- A woman needs both the warm mood and symbolic importance that romance provides; good results greatly please her. A man first needs the mood to initiate romance; it’s a way to achieve something else—please her, prove his interest, win her favor, enjoy her company, relax in her closeness, recover from his mistakes.
- When she harshly expects her man to react to her or pressures him to get her way, she stifles his initiative. His resistance and the backpressure of masculinity uncover this truth. Her will to prepare (e.g., seed planting and indirectness) is more important than her will to succeed (e.g., competing and insisting too much). That is, if she hopes to succeed getting more attention, affection, admiration, and even romance,
- Men may not admire neatness and uniquely feminine appearance at the degree that women expect. Men have different tastes, compete among themselves, and thus differ over what they admire. They definitely do not admire carelessness, sloppiness, or the lack of feminine traits.
- Women tend to dislike this part of the male nature. To admire something is to want to possess it. In man-think, marriage enables a man to possess a woman, which enables him to take her virtues for granted. The more effectively she uses the qualities that he admired in courtship as her promise for a life together, the less attention she appears to need beyond the altar. He paid her price and now she is trouble-free for him. (Equal? Apparently not. Fair? Only if she finds balance in her gratitude for all else that he represents for her. Disruptive? Yes, if she is unable to find enough gratefulness to satisfy her mind and reprogram her heart. In his mind, he is not taking her for granted. He is merely trying harder to make himself more effective pursuing his various missions in life that include her well-being. If she expects him NOT to take her for granted, she should find a pre-conquest way to motivate him accordingly. Lengthy courtships provide the time to encourage changes in his expectations and for him to form new habits.)
Tag Archives: masculinity
211. Men are empathetic until everything is done that can be done. Then, they get sympathetic. Women get sympathetic without problem solving efforts having been made.
212. Women measure a man’s love by her standards, and so he repeatedly falls short. If men were born for closeness, nurturing, desire for intimacy, and continuous dialogue, they would have been born female. 
213. The foundations of their love differ. His love builds on respect, and nothing affects his deepest respect more than how she handled and still handles her sexual assets. After that, his respect grows from her self-respect, character strength, and feminine nature. 
214. Her love resides in her dreams. It springs alive when she realizes that he can and will adjust himself to accommodate her aspirations for their life together. Only the most egregious actions by him shatter her dreams and, consequently, love. 
215. His love is one-sided. It depends more on what he does than what she does or says. He even separates love from appreciation. She does not. His heart energizes actions that he determines will or ought to please her. Such actions rather than words reinforce his feelings and enlarge his love. 
216. One husband told by wife to do the spring cleaning while she worked, turned the leaf blower on the house with front and back doors open. (I know the wife.) Another, told to show more affection for his wife by a counselor, went home and washed her car. That’s how men show affection, although these examples may be too unusual. 
217. Our forefathers showed affection with actions that endorsed their masculinity. They honored their woman’s wishes for social stature, such as opening her car door, seating her at the table, repairing broken things, and especially bringing home the bacon. 
218. Today, women discourage displays of affection. They expect their man to do things that demean his masculinity by appearing to follow female orders, such as doing the dishes and changing diapers. It is not the doing that offends, it is the squeeze on his manliness from having to do it because she demands it. 
219. She can be more respectful, and he expects it. When not shown, he responds with less affection. 
220. Her love is multi-sided. She depends more on what he says than what he does and more on what she does than what she says. It’s confusing, but she likes it that way. It expands her flexibility for fulfilling her dreams with him. 
Men see and hear too much of this to show much eagerness for marriage:
♦ She teaches or guides daughters about safe sex, expects them to experiment, and ignores the importance that deferred gratification adds to the maturing process. Fathers harbor contrary feelings.
♦ She just cannot be grateful for her husband doing what he’s best equipped and prepared to do—producing, providing, protecting, problem solving.
♦ She orients her thinking and feelings around harsh and loud and total self-centeredness, opposite to the female nature.
♦ She stresses her faithfulness to feminist ideology and political objectives.
♦ She tears down manliness and masculinity to uplift herself or get what she wants.
♦ She thinks about herself more than him and works with other women and what they should and can do.
♦ She offers unmarried sex after little more than chit-chat, and then after marriage complains about lack of foreplay.
Some women drop virginity and chastity on the premise that females have the same sexual rights as males. Other women believe that having the right does not make it right.
Some women tear down masculinity to get what women want. Other women uplift manliness to get what women want.
Some women teach young girls about sex without love, abandon them to experiment, and ignore their maturation. Other women teach young girls to mature first, love next, and leave sex to marriage.
Some women discourage manly devotion by providing cheap, uncommitted sex. Other women inspire manly devotion by delaying a man’s conquest until he wants her for much more than sex.
Some women popularize the feminist ideal, which makes men retreat from committing with one woman for much more than shack up. Other women persuade a man to commit for marry up by refusing to shack up.
Some women reject the concept or refuse on principle to fill the biblical role of wife submitting to husband. Other women realize that ‘submissiveness’ is more attitude than principle, more respect than honor, more cooperation than obedience, and that high power exists in softness.
Some women use casual sex to attract men, which fails to earn a man’s devotion or obligate him for much more than sex. Other women push hard for No Sex without Marriage, which creates time to deepen his interest, respect, and devotion for one woman.
Some women make themselves worthy of a man just to have one. Other women insist a man make himself worthy of her before marriage, and then she makes herself worthy of him after they marry.
Some women seek words of commitment before yielding. Other women seek a man’s devoted actions before allowing his conquest.
Some women convince themselves that the right combination of passion, love, religious beliefs, common interests, and kids will keep their relationship together. Other women know there’s no such insurance and that special stroking of her man as king to her queen is essential.
Men have private agendas, and women don’t usually gain access without stirring undesirable consequences.
The list continues of what men shy from and will seldom volunteer or admit:
15. Weaknesses except the inconsequential or complimentary.
16. His sense of his own insignificance. (This revelation stimulates the midlife crisis.)
17. His deepest feelings when she offends him. (His actions hide it, and revenge compensates for hurt.)
18. His fear of ridicule by females and particularly his present mate.
19. His wounds when she finds fault or discloses his shortcomings in front of others. (Instead, he retreats, smolders, resents, and may seek revenge.)
20. Disturbing thoughts his mate may pose about his masculinity.
21. His deep feelings about his job loss.
This continuing list of male private agendas applies to married, unmarried, young, and old. The final section will follow soon under the same title.
These ‘fortitudinals’ provide special themes or summaries. Numbers match previous posts.
101. Both change after their first intercourse together. He changes for the worse for her; she changes for the better for him. She pays the price, but he gets the reward.
102. Living with or chasing small boobs means the man is willing to forsake adolescent immaturity and approaches sexual activity more maturely.
103. The end result of masculine-style sexual freedom for women is this: Men become more adroit at sexual hit and run, and women gain more experience living life as ex-girlfriend, -lover, -live in, -wife.
104. Today, women measure his love by her standards, and so he repeatedly falls short. If men were born for closeness, nurturing, intimacy, and continuous dialogue, they would have been born female.
105. Women discourage displays of affection. They expect their man to do things that demean his masculinity—dishes and diapers? It’s not the doing that offends, it squeezes his sense of significance.
[Previous fortitudinals appear in posts 280, 275, 270, 265, 260, 255, 250, 245, 240, 234, 228, 213, 203, 199, 186, 182, and 176.]
Allow me to personalize the male and female natures as Manhood and Womanhood. I wish to describe traditional America before the 1960s.
Womanhood capitalized on male dominance instead of tearing it down. She supported Manhood’s dominance of society (what people do), while she took over dominance of the culture (why people do it).
Womanhood’s goal: One reliable man to help fulfill her dreams for nesting, nurturing, and nestling with loved ones. She sought stable marriage and family. She convinced Manhood to provide the wherewithal and do the hard labor. In return, she rewarded his husbanding and fathering.
She gained status and added personal stature by making herself very different and highly unique. She capitalized on gender differences and exploited the female nature. Her character was shaped around feminine mystique, female modesty, moral standards, marriage, monogamy, manners, virginity, virtual virginity, soft-heartedness inside and hard-headedness outside of marriage, and whatever else would distinguish her from Manhood.
She taught daughters to mature first, love next, leave sex to marriage, and uplift manliness and masculinity as the way to fulfill female hopes and dreams.
In the process she earned Manhood’s unconditional respect for the female sex. The benefits grew through the decades. Womanhood changed cultural values and the social and domestic environments in such ways that the genders respected the opposite sex more than their own (e.g., my generation).
Womanhood developed American life into a family game. She emphasized separate but equal genders with cooperative rather than competing roles. In her eyes, good character and virtuous actions overwhelmed looks, interests, and words.
For over a century, Manhood was preoccupied on the job with technological and economic advancements. He dominated workplace and society. Gradually adopting wifely-inspired and family-friendly values, however, Manhood gradually yielded dominance of home and culture.
Family dominance was a toss up, but mostly it had the appearance of husband as head, wife as neck, and children as no more than adult-hopefuls. Womanhood accepted and parlayed this truism: Perceptions are reality, and whatever appears to be, is.
Manhood bought into the lifelong married life sought by Womanhood. Family responsibility guided husbands in the workplace and society. With laws, wealth, and leadership, husbands shaped America to his wife’s vision of family-centeredness.
Mutual respect grew as husbands implemented feminine values in society. Husbands in the workplace made America more family friendly. The beginning of the end, however, arose in the 1960s.
[More on old school America appears in posts 263, 238, 218, and 204 below. Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following it.]