Tag Archives: multi-tasking

2127. Mirror Time — Part V: Early Reveille

Women long for happiness. It has to be earned, which means it comes at a cost. I propose a simple but not easy change in daily routine.

The way you appear at an event sends a message of how respected and important others present are to you. Have you thought about breakfast? Getting others to school or work in the morning? Sending those messages in an indirect manner that pleases you even more than them?

It’s not likely. Instead of paying the fare to jump aboard, you start the day by throwing yourself under the happy bus. You rush tiredly out of bed and rush yourself into an over-used or unsightly robe. Hair a mess, you disregard your appearance and mumble about your problems. You rush to help others before you help yourself. Rush to help everybody else and their daily start up, disrupt breakfast routine with irritation or anger, and add pressure to everyone’s departure so they rush to escape you. Consequently, by just not finding satisfaction with yourself first, you do all the wrong things for self and others. If you escape with sanity intact, you feel guilty, droopy, and worse but definitely dissatisfied for the rest of the day.

All your energy wiped out by one simple miscalculation. You didn’t start your day by proving to yourself that you’re still pretty and in charge in spite of what’s happening in your life. You didn’t renew vows to yourself that you like who and what you are even if others don’t. If you don’t know how to renew those vows, stick around. Details follow.

A simple but not easy way exists to jump on rather than under the bus. Take the rush out of your life and replace it with calm, smiles, and obvious dedication to those you love. You need only take charge and put it into habitual practice. Turn simple pretty time into extended mirror time and do it before others arise. You’ll see the people around you appreciate you much more just by you appreciating yourself much more.

First thing and before anyone else arises, spend 30 minutes before your mirror exchanging thoughts with your reflected image aka best friend. You have to make four sacrifices. 1) Go to sleep earlier. 2) Dedicate yourself to convert boring dead time into productive time for your mind, heart, and dreams. 3) Find the multitude of ways that make you like who and what you are by producing various results that enhance your prettiness, appearance, confidence, belief in self, and determination. 4) Quit quitting when trying to drop an old and develop a new habit. (Such as quitting New Year’s resolution.)

You’ll be surprised how it enables you to improve upon the world in which you live from reveille to taps. If you can’t figure out how to produce those results, sit there for 30 minutes every day and you will soon figure it out. Boredom will eventually open your eyes, mind, and heart, if you don’t quit. You’ll see that blaming others does nothing more than relieve you of doing the right thing, of taking and keeping control over your life.

Reasons and excuses always exist for not helping yourself when you don’t deserve it in the first place. Blaming others or endless wishes compensate when you don’t help yourself first. However, if not already very happy, you probably have at least one side of your life still buried in the multiplex of misery—unwanted singleness, disappointment, unhappiness, abandonment, loneliness, isolation, hopelessness, despair, divorce, depression, husbandless, childless, dreariness, gloom, self-discipline, loss of child, discipline with kids, cheating mate, or prospects of doom in legal or economic arenas.

You chose where you are in life and got there by not making better choices to help yourself; you deserve what you have. Oh, you don’t deserve it? Well, take 30 minutes at the mirror and ask your reflected friend about that point. Are you accurately stating your case? (Also, read Path to Victory at blog top.)

I understand you’re discouraged at the thought of committing 30 minutes. You’ve gone quiet, but I can hear you, ladies. Mumbling and grumbling at the thought of taking so much time out of your busy day. You say, it’s unreal and you can’t do it. You can’t do without that last 30 minutes of sleep. You must tend your infant during that time of day. You don’t need 30 minutes to plan your day, your future, or even your whole life. And, on and on. You tell yourself you’re doing well enough, at least for now. But are you? Are you happy enough now with your importance to self, family, and date or mate? Your prettiness? Your daily appearance? How you look in church? At work? On dates? Start your day at the mirror and you’ll take the rush out of your life and that of family members.

The 30 minutes is about planning your life while painting the barn and looking for ways to improve your prettiness. It’s about using your imagination to analyze your situations, exploit your self-gratitude, and upgrade your day and future to first exit the multiplex of misery and then refine your life into your girlhood hopes and dreams. Millions of dollars won’t do that for you. Neither will face lifts, liposuction, analysis, breast implants, or wrinkle removers. It’s in your heart to do it, if your mind will only enable it.

If self-gratitude, self-importance, and respect for others isn’t resurrected in your heart by using your mind, then your happiness will not develop as you wish. Happiness has to be earned out of gratitude, and it starts best at the mirror. As you take greater charge of your life each day, self-importance and respect for others also grows and puts you on the entry ramp to a great day for yourself.

Why 30 minutes? To provide enough time for your inborn female nature to energize itself into multi-tasking. You can’t just sit there and do nothing. Your mind will take advantage of the boredom that inevitably sets in when you run out of ideas for improving your prettiness and appearance—aka pleasing yourself first. Thirty minutes allows for emotional motivators to come awake in your heart. Emotions that move you to action such as shame, guilt, sorrow, competition, grief, anxiety, gratefulness, cooperation, prettiness, duty, debt, love, and hunger for importance and appreciation. Plus, internal values that need frequent reinforcement or recovery because they shape your mental health such as self-love, self-esteem, self-interest, self-image, self-gratitude, and expanded belief in yourself. Those and other blessings are available and usable through self-talk with your reflected image. Use the committed 30 minutes plus your mind to energize your curiosity and imagination in search of making your life more important to yourself and those around you and at the same time look more appealing. Thirty minutes without interruption about improving your prettiness, appearance, and life will work wonders to improve the various attitudes that flow from your heart.

Serendipity. You finish mirror time feeling GREAT about yourself. It’s the strongest possible foundation for facing life with confidence, patience, and understanding. Why? Because you grace yourself with qualities fed by your prettiness with inner peace left over. The ultimate expression of power is forgiveness. When you ignore the little and forgive the big things—and especially forgive yourself—harmony floods your home. When you as single woman or mom isolate yourself at the mirror each morning, you earn the ability to switch the world ON to make things go your way. With kindness ignited by belief in yourself, can your forgiving spirit be far behind? With kindness and forgiveness renewed in your heart, it makes both personal and family harmony easier and more permanent.

We all do what makes us feel good about ourselves. I propose that women isolate themselves for 30 minutes upon arising in the morning. They have the talent and skills but need to use them more productively to calm the waters of their high pressure, super-rushed lives.


P.S. So, you can’t do 30 minutes? Impossible, you say. Okay. The number is not as important as your dedication to yourself and commitment to neither change whatever minutes you choose nor quit the daily routine. But anything less than 20 minutes will likely sink your ship before you start. Without the boredom that will set in, your mind, heart, and spirit will stay focused on escaping the problems of life rather than producing improvements for a better life. In that case, you will find little or nothing to reward you for sticking to your time commitment, and you will soon quit.





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1857. Sex Difference Redux—Part 96: Where Love Begins—12

We continue with sex differences that play a role in developing the enduring love that keeps a couple together after romantic love fails after a year or two of sex together.

111. You enjoy flattery and take notice because it makes you feel good. Your man doesn’t; flattery makes men suspicious.

112. The basic ingredient of your love of others is gratefulness for having them to love. The basic ingredient of your man’s love is satisfaction for doing whatever makes him feel good, such as gifting, thinking about you, pleasing you, showing affection.

113. When you’re the main breadwinner, your man’s significance fades. (He may be gracious and act that way, but he misses filling that role and longs for something or someone to compensate his sense of worth by depending on him.)

114. When your man outshines you in your domain (e.g., housekeeping, dishwashing, laundry), he satisfies himself but has ulterior motive. He may expect you to do better, so he doesn’t have to. Or, he may assume a superiority to more easily justify his dominance. In any event, his competitiveness puts you at disadvantage. When you outdo your man in masculine domains, you poison his sense of significance.

115. You easily multi-task and multi-converse, because your process-oriented nature enables it. Your man dislikes and usually avoids both, because his production-oriented nature makes multi-tasking and multi-converse inefficient.

116. If you cohabit, you act desperate. You seek to capture, live with a man, gain economic advantage, or all of the above. Men cohabit because their woman’s unworthy of marriage, he wants to keep his options open, he gains frequent and convenient sex at low cost, it’s a cheap and friendly arrangement, or all of the above.

117. You assess people more by character than occupation. Your man leans toward the opposite.

118. If you sour on your marriage, you likely turn against men. If your man sours on it, he likely turns against marriage.

119. If you shack up to test for sexual compatibility or other reason. You deceive yourself, and your man applauds himself.

120. You can turn an inadequate man into an adequate mate or vice versa. Your man can turn you from adequate wife into an inadequate one but not vice versa. (It explains why a man marries, finds wife inadequate when measured against what he expects, and soon departs. He lacks hope she will ever be adequate, for example, one wife became a different woman on her wedding night. Another changed immediately after her college graduation lifted her beyond her husband. Yet another changed into an online shopaholic who outspent her husband’s ability to earn.)

Ten more ingredients of enduring love follow in the next post about ‘Where Love Begins’.

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1805. Sex Difference Redux— Part 55: Mutual Respect I

Theory. The traffic signal just turned green. With a phone at her ear, a woman’s car starts to roll several seconds after the guy in the next lane also with a phone at his ear.

Women are generally better multi-taskers, but the stop-light intersection brings on this exception. Faced with multiple sensory inputs, men react faster to the visual and women to the audible. Simultaneously hearing a voice or involved in talking, women delay in responding to visual stimulation. Men are opposite; being hunter-conquerors they respond first to visual stimulants and then to hearing. So, when both parties are on the phone at the light, men handle the multi-tasking more easily and are quicker clearing the intersection.

Reality. I post that stop-light trivia as a reminder that women can anticipate, figure out, and resolve relationship problems before they happen. Day after tomorrow at #1806, I will restate the ten prime motivators that inspire this blog. They also trigger hundreds of minor sex differences that work to the advantage of both sexes when one relationship characteristic is present—mutual respect.


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