Older men respond much as they did when younger and sometimes easier than expected. After all, their present and future life appears much different than decades earlier. I know of these stories from my personal life, but the times are not as precise as depicted.
- Widow for 25 years meets widower of several years. They date for more than a year that includes several long distance trips. Travel always includes two bedrooms. She rejects marriage because his isn’t saved, and she rejects sex because they aren’t married. Unexpectedly, my Grace leads him to the Lord and they marry soon after.
- Mature never-married woman has one grown child long out of the nest. She meets older man fixing her PC. They date but she refuses sex until they marry. His interest continues. He becomes eager to marry after a year or two dating and traveling and using separate bedrooms. He also changes his religious affiliation to match hers. (I don’t know if denomination change was a requirement of hers but I strongly suspect it was as she had years earlier left his church.)
- Twentysomething single mother with baby son is shacked-up with adultolescent and irresponsible father. Fed up, she kicks him out. Lets him visit son regularly and refuses all overtures to make up or remain overnight. No sex, period. After more than a year of living apart, he proposes with the confession he cannot live without her. They marry and now live happily in second or third decade of marriage. Husband grew into an emboldened and mature sense of domestic responsibility and initiative. Successfully started his own business, and they raised their son to become Eagle Scout. Mostly by himself, he built their home in the country after clearing the woods and ground. Rough-hewn life by husband for his family, but her love smoothed it all out around the edges.
Risk takers succeed everywhere. It’s all in the know-how that flows quite naturally out of the well-prepared hearts of females.
Next: Factors that cause men to pursue conquest and marriage tomorrow at #2161.
Men get their way by not bending in disputes with women. They push women around in thought, action, or both. Women get their way by indirectly influencing the thought processes of men today in order to shape manly behaviors tomorrow. Not always desirable, but their natures tend to operate that way.
Our foremothers learned to exploit No Sex without Marriage. Never perfect or universal, the strategy still enabled conscientious females to dominate the domestic environment and make both society and culture more female- and family-friendly. It reduced the excesses of patriarchy. It pressured males to be more civilized and domestically responsible.
In the name of sexual freedom, modern females give up that societal influence. They masculinize sexual habits. They co-habit. They focus on solving problems today and thus lose interest in planning and awaiting a brighter future. They shorten their patience to get their way right now. They lower their sights to the level of their current sex partner who views both their relationship and future much differently and probably more temporarily.
Men need only respond to womanly requirements and expectations to gain sexual favors. When women have few requirements and expect less than marriage, men flit like bees from blossom to blossom and easily find what they’re after.
Females mope and wonder. They flit around like butterflies but find only unopened blooms and men that don’t stick around. They don’t want to believe that conquest changes a man, that men are different and no longer in the hunt for the conquered. Only other feminine attractions and assets keep a man around once his infatuation and lust fade, but women seem to disregard the male nature.
Thus, pre-marital link up threatens a woman ever developing a man’s devotion and reliable commitment for marriage. It may work for her, but can she be sure before she yields?
♂>♀ Women predominantly govern domestic and socializing methods and customs, because they have what men want most.
♂>♀ Modern women don’t follow their foremothers’ dominating system of No Sex without Marriage, so they’ve lost the skills required to convert masculine independence into emotional dependence on her.
♂>♀ By not using the leverage of No Sex without Marriage, women expose themselves—mentally as well as physically.
♂>♀ Unintended consequences of unmarried and extra-marital sex overpower the hopes and dreams of females. Outcomes reverse what Feminism sought to contain—male dominance.
♂>♀ Male behavior is changeable, even though the male nature is not. Feminine intuition—as directly opposed to feminist theory—tells women to accept the natural and exploit the changeable.
♂>♀ Women dominate culture by virtue of their natural relationship expertise. They smother society with values that promote family-centeredness and satisfy their primal urge to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. That’s the way it used to be.
♂>♀ Women accept masculine-style sexual freedom. They equate fun and sex as synonymous and vice versa, just as men do.
Thirteen other posts about The high cost of cheap sex appear in CONTENT page in the blog header.
Girlhood abstinence reduces male dominance.
As part of the sexual revolution, women abandon the lessons of their mothers and grandmothers. They exploit newly proclaimed sexual ‘rights’, and abandon the time-honored American female strategy of No Sex without Marriage.
But, they go too far. Feminism inspired greater sexual freedom for females, but women could not keep it from flowing to adolescent girls. The younger the females available to provide sex, the greater their sexual attraction to men committed to someone else. (Who says abstinence education for girls doesn’t pay off?)
If they choose, girls and younger women can easily disrupt tightly bonded marriages that appear unbreakable. Today they do choose. Many seek committed married men as already proven worthwhile for matrimony. Men separated and divorced remain unproven, and their value goes down relative to the still-married.
Girls and adolescent-minded women, such as college booty, lack maturity to undercut male domination. Mature females are fearful of losing their man. Consequently, females submit more easily to male domination in both the social and home arenas.
When most females ‘put out’ easily and casually, sexual relations work against female safety. Males take rejection personal, as female condemnation.
Each attractive female has what he’s after, because male hormones push for sex. When sex is cheap, he looks for easy stuff rather than spin wheels screening for the female of his dreams.
Her rejection spawns bitterness, aggression, and violence. Rejection imagined as extremely personal turns boys, and those men who can’t handle it, toward extreme aggressiveness and even violence.
When No Sex without Marriage is the strategy used by most women and honored by girls, males do not so easily take rejection personal. If rebuffed, they assume her character and moral standards reject his invitation, so females are not rejecting him personally.
This turns men away from sex for its own sake and pushes them to compete for a woman with sex as follow-on. This requires and males accept that they suppress aggressiveness and violence. They make themselves more female-friendly.
In this way, the sexual habits of most females stifle male aggression and violence toward individuals.