This principle makes a man’s habits morph into devotion to a woman. His actions that please him for pleasing her change his heart into continuing with new duties (aka habitual responsibilities). A well-raised man feels bad when he fails to do his duty. So, he learns to not fail, which reinforces respect for his woman and her appreciation if not admiration, which reinforces his respect for her, which justifies his manly devotion.
A man will change and develop new habits to get closer to an unconquered woman. His devotion begins with that process and flourishes with her femininity. The broader, deeper, and longer both the process and her endearing femininity, the more respect she earns which intensifies his blossoming devotion. For her part, she hints at her feminine expectations and manages their relationship closeness to grow in sync with his actions that please her. She withholds conquest until what she expects becomes habitual with him.
His actions—almost to the exclusion of her words except hints—generate a man’s devotion. He does little things first to impress her, then to please her, and then to satisfy himself. For example, she encourages his opening doors, washing her car, running her errands, bringing her flowers, helping wash dishes, escorting her to church, joining her in exercise, and above all proclaiming three little words daily if not oftener. Repetition makes those things habitual (aka his duty). Repetition comes from his desire for closeness and sex that is kept alive by the admiration and dependence on him that she reflects.
Much longer than for women, changing masculine habits takes months. A man purposely and repetitively has to place a new set of thoughts and actions on top of old ones. Thus, long sex-free courtships work to the woman’s advantage. Once she has yielded sex, the process becomes much more difficult. Hints, indirectness, and seed planting coupled with endless patience are required.
Becoming devoted is all about his learning who she is, what pleases her, and how dependent she becomes on him for what he considers routine duty. He starts out trying to impress her, grows into pleasing her, and ends up habitually pleasing himself with new duties. She incentivizes him to have thoughts and feelings that he can like her and devote himself to her. Her likeability keeps his wheels spinning. Winning his devotion is her job, whether she holds his attention pre-conquest or tries afterward.
What Women Never Hear 