Tag Archives: prettiness

2126. Mirror Time — Part IV: Trophies Also Fail

People presume that society rewards good looks. They decide and judge for example by paying attention only to slim, blonde, blue eyed trophies who luck out where others fail. The presumption is wrong, however, and it leads many women to lose faith in their natural strengths, deviate from their best interest, and often become female phonies or masculine in behavior.

Society rewards success and likeability for making others feel good about themselves. Consequently, your prettiness made prettier adds mayo to society’s sandwiches.

Even a woman with unattractive features can be successful and likeable, if she first builds success at the morning mirror. Purposely, she turns herself into a dynamic person by teaching herself to like herself very much just to start her day to her advantage. Painting the barn starts it best. Even trophies fail when they don’t like themselves very much (probably because they take their prettiness for granted and don’t otherwise and repeatedly convince themselves of their self-worth).*

What makes you pretty? Your looks or how others perceive you? The answer is neither. It’s what’s in your heart about you being top dog in your world but with rightful respect for others and their roles in your life. Let the following help squeeze out wrongful impressions.

  • You’re born pretty, so daily prettiness arrives when the mirror satisfies you for having done enough to optimize it. If you haven’t seen a mirror for a whole day, can you convince yourself that you remain pretty? How about two days? You know you’re pretty, but you just can’t be all that you expect to be. And so you act as though you’re not pretty enough. Self-confidence flutters, self-worth declines, and your dynamic influence fades from lack of belief in yourself.
  • Men complete goals and are satisfied. You are quite different. You are satisfied ONLY when you look as good as you expect to look at any given moment.
  • When you start the day unsatisfied with your appearance, you start an unhappy day. To reverse that, satisfy yourself by prettifying yourself to your satisfaction. That day will brighten.
  • To prettify yourself to please others pushes you into unknown territory where you lose control of your ambitions. You imagine or assume how you will impact them. It pushes you to prettify yourself for unseen and unpredictable targets. Each day you look for confirmation of your expectations, and the absence causes dissatisfaction in your day. People just don’t want to conclude what you expect.
  • Trying to shine yourself up for others also weakens your sincerity. Phoniness flows from it. Who knows how far you must go and where it will end if other people continually fail to meet your expectations? They leave you dissatisfied, so what can you do? Mostly you’re lost.

Women are born convinced of their prettiness, but they need daily and routine tune ups. A pleasant day starts for you when you satisfy yourself that you look your best. After much practice and continual adjustments to stay up with whatever improves your appearance and reinforces belief in yourself, you learn to satisfy yourself easily.

Daily uplifting of your prettiness opens the door to finding self-gratitude, which opens the door to finding gratefulness elsewhere, which earns happiness and enables a more pleasant and potentially successful life.

Life is built on habits, good life on good habits, and I propose a tough habit next.


*Maxwell Maltz, for many years a plastic surgeon to the upper class, claimed that he operated on many women to improve their appearance; they didn’t like themselves. Not one was uplifted or satisfied afterward. Most liked their new appearance but got no improvement about liking themselves. [Guy adds: Self-esteem, -image, and -worth come from your heart and not appearance. Your complaints about your appearance register and weaken those personal values residing in your heart. Positive reinforcement programs your heart to be more appreciative of self. Mirror time focused on your prettiness teaches you to focus on improvements, which ends complaints, which makes you a more self-believable person in your heart. Belief in self comes naturally to men and they confirm it with daily accomplishments. But not women. They get belief in self from what they tell themselves; they have to confirm it regularly, and the mirror is the best starter and most reinforcing place. The next post, 2127, will test your patience, belief, and more.]



Filed under Her glory

2125. Mirror Time — Part III: The First Lady

The actions and attitudes of you catering to your prettiness governs your surroundings in an indirect manner. It pleases both sexes. Associating with men motivates you to embellish your female strength—to show your prettiness—which shapes your attitude positively and enables satisfying relationships to form. Such indirect expressions of femininity both help tame the male beast and enable productive relationships to form. The prettier you are, the more respect and less liable to be mistreated; it’s the male nature before conquest.

To paraphrase an old axiom, the woman that magnifies her prettiness is the woman that rocks her world. To do that, you first magnify your own importance to yourself. You do it best when seated in front of a mirror absent the pressure of having to move on to something else. A bonus is attached; the importance you generate with your reflected image resonates with spouse, family, friends, dates, associates, and even enemies.

For example, imagine two wives/mothers arrive at morning breakfast time. One is prettily coiffed, smells great, smiles tenderly, and serves breakfast to the pleasure of family members. She tells husband she will take care of something important so he can get leave with thoughts of how nice it will be to return from work. Son starts to question or argue with mom, she smiles and nods calmly but meaningfully. He stops and carries on with his responsibility.

The second wife/mother arrives after everyone else expects to see her. She’s ‘unpretty’ or worse, her appearance and attitude are without charm. Family fends for its own breakfast. She raises her voice easily, finds fault unjustly, and displays a dislike of both things and people. As servant leader and as authority figure she fails. The family’s spirit sinks as they prepare to start the day.

For the first lady, everyone recognizes she’s THE authority figure and her prettiness both demonstrates and magnifies it. Of what value is the second woman that she lets her family start the day in a dispirited fashion? She lacks authority to influence family to pay her much attention. She fails to give of herself for those she ostensibly loves, and thus displays that her words and actions don’t match. Even kids can read that.

Those two extreme examples aim at this point. The more satisfied you are with your prettiness when you enter family’s life in the morning, the more effective you are as wife/mother/leader/authority figure. Your effectiveness is what sends your family into the world with high spirits for life and the challenges they face today. IOW, were it not for your arming your own spirits by uplifting your prettiness to your satisfaction, your family doesn’t have as much to live for as a good wife and good mother would like. To be the harmonizer of family endeavors, you must first harmonize your own spirits, and uplifting your prettiness offers the best method for success. That’s what mirror time is all about. More to follow of course.


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2124. Mirror Time — Part II: Vanity Saves

Every woman’s head has features she dislikes. Vanity is the answer.

Females thrive on the feminine internal and external aura that vanity produces, and the profound effect it has for standardizing the behavior of males of all ages. It starts for you at the mirror and should begin as the first thing in the morning (described later and now scheduled for part V).

As seen daily in public, many modern women ignore or forget these facts of life.

  • Men are visual creatures by nature and appreciate looking at women. But masculine interest goes deeper than skin and sex. Men pay most attention to the physically attractive, because they are attracted most to sex. But they marry and stay married to the prettiest woman that matches their interest.
  • Your vanity is the root of keeping your man or husband focused on you. When he sees the prettiness enhanced every day of who he escorts or married, it helps keep his heart pounding for life with you or at home instead of something or somebody else. Look around you. Modern women tend to let themselves go in appearance, which reflects poorly on both them and their husbands. One wonders, how long does the marital bloom last if your vanity remains forbidden by feminist thought and your resulting appearance reflects poorly on him and you? (You may not care what others think, but your man cares what he thinks of you.)
  • Vanity reminds you that you’re special and demonstrates to men that you are more unique than other women, capable of greater attractiveness, and pleasant to be around or have nearby. Once that qualification is established, you are immensely welcome among one or many men for other than sex and enabled to succeed in life according to individual taste for associating.
  • Beneath a cloak of vanity generated with abundant mirror time, you can stress and guard your natural modesty, which is the most effective trait that you have to keep male dominance under control. Vanity charms men; they like to see the results. Modesty disarms men; they can’t quite grasp the reasoning behind it. (How well your man respects you can be partially measured by how well he respects your insistence on being modest, which of course begs the question, are you modest enough? Do you have and adhere to standards? That is what earns his respect?)
  • The buildup of physical appearance and shaping of your attitude before a mirror supports and enhances your feminine spirit. It reinforces that you’re attractive, unique, and important to both yourself and others. You’re prepared to take on the world and whatever it may present to you. As with all of us, your strength comes from what you create and sustain inside and by yourself.
  • The more uniquely feminine your appearance, and especially ladylike, the more pronounced an aura surrounds you of non-sexual desirability and pleasant association. The more unconquerable you appear subliminally, the more attractive you appear subconsciously as marital candidate. An aura of prettiness promotes your importance and captures manly attention among men with marriage on the mind and induces marital thoughts in men not yet aware they too would like a good marriage. The more uniquely feminine your aura, the less men see you as a sex object.

Modern women don’t spend enough morning time before the mirror, and it produces five undesirable effects. 1) Modesty fades under male pressure. 2) Self-image morphs toward weakness in both influence and self-defense. 3) Desperate desire to attract a man pushes them toward becoming a sex object. 4) Self-confidence doesn’t arise to assertively resist rather than wilt beneath social pressures. 5) Reduced sense of self-worth convinces them they deserve no better than whatever they receive.

My experience writing this blog taught me. Every natural difference between the sexes should be exploited by and to the full advantage of females. When not done, men rule both social and domestic interaction; male dominance gets far out of control and contrary to the betterment of female life and fulfilling of womanly hopes and dreams.

If you seek a better life with both men and yourself, I suggest it lies within your hands. Your natural gift of vanity should be appreciated, used, and enjoyed daily. Prettiness enhanced before the mirror after arising in the morning also empowers you with modesty and enables you to identify and ‘capture’ many more things you seek in life. In that way, modesty and vanity are silent asset partners that are more influential for long time relationships than sexual assets.



Filed under Dear daughter

2123. Mirror Time — Part I: Pretty is as Pretty Does

 Ladies, you are born pretty and unlike anyone else. You know it in your heart. If you fail to exploit and make the most of it, you will continually find yourself unsatisfied with your life. I aim this series at an option that will help fulfill your hopes and dreams by fulfilling yourself with yourself.

So, I define my terms.

  • ‘Pretty’ is much more than your face. It’s your spirit of importance to yourself. It’s your emotions, motivations, and expectations wrapped into and confirmed by your physical appearance and emotional outlook; you please yourself and elevate your confidence. You feel you’re good and attractive enough to get your way.
  • ‘Prettify’ is getting there. Emotions, mind, and heart work together to convince you of your importance to people around you. But you need frequent reinforcement, and that’s where the mirror comes in.
  • Physical beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It’s only present when someone else says it is—a judgment call—so it’s someone else’s opinion and at best just a subset of your prettiness.

A woman’s prime motivator is to be self-important, and exploiting your prettiness is the first step. All else follows that, even your self-gratitude. IOW, you’re not likely to be very important to those around you if you don’t exploit your prettiness to your satisfaction. When exploited by using your mirror-reflected image, an aura of beauty arises that outshines the physical. (Physical attractiveness doesn’t cause happiness; the world is full of so-called beautiful people who lack it.)

Females thrive on that feminine aura often called vanity, and that’s next.



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2084. Female Blessings at Birth — 79-81 Plus Intro of New Project

Yesterday, ladies, I was blessed with new insight surrounding the blessings you are born with. Men admire that which a woman possesses that draws and holds his interest, something he respects, her likeability. Each quality a man admires becomes a virtue to him. Her virtues accumulate until he sees her as fascinating, as a virtuous woman. Each husband has married a woman that in courtship he judged as virtuous to his satisfaction, which is what men work toward in all that they do: satisfaction. In that husband’s case, satisfaction that he judged her desirable to be his mate. Judged not on what she promised or told him, but what he saw and didn’t hear that could have discouraged him.

To me as a man, when I review the blessings in this list, I see nothing but virtues that women are born with. Each blessing has enough man-appreciated quality to be admired by some man, some place, some time.

When a woman exemplifies her blessings, men admire her as unique and fascinating. Examples: submissive spirit, vanity, modesty, neatness, gratefulness, prettiness, self-sufficiency, spreader of joy, easy to smile, protector of sexual assets, et al. To the extent she makes those qualities appealing/attractive to a man, she becomes virtuous. The more virtuous the more fascinating. The more fascinating, the more promise she holds as potential mate. The more potential, the more easily he proceeds to the altar. It’s a system that works best under this simple layout of nature: Men are men and women are women.

That introduces my next major project, which is to match up each blessing with the likely reaction/response of men. However, I need weeks to develop it. Relocating to another state later this month, it could be Christmas before I can post it. Perhaps I can plant seeds along the way to get your help in proofing it.

The first seeds appear below. At the end of each item, I cite her blessing and the responding admiration that normally would flow from men. It’s another attempt at tying her actions to what men see in her. Your comments are needed to help clarify it.

79. I’m grateful each morning when I face myself in the mirror. Terrible when I arrive, successful when I depart. [Guy adds: The benefits are more than worth the inconvenience of time spent bringing out the prettiness of your face. As your face goes, so goes your day. As your day goes, so goes your life. Her blessing: She has prettiness to work with. His admiration: She’s great to look at.]

80. I am blessed that I can see the good in people and turn it into uplifting words. Especially those who are close to me. [Extending special credit to Surfercajun for identifying that female blessing, Guy adds: Women are born to be good, and become good by doing good. Her blessing: She sees the good in life and pursues it to be good. His admiration: While so easily earning the respect and trust of others, she also picks me up when I’m down, makes me feel good about myself.]

81. I am blessed with a feminine nature strong enough to handle any improper reaction I may provoke in others. [Extending special credit to Pretty Woman for suggesting this inborn blessing, Guy adds: You can’t be responsible for others’ reactions. Her blessing: She has calm inner strength to deal with upset people. His admiration: Glad she’s on my side.]

As before, mark each item T or F with whatever comment you wish to add. I am especially grateful for all reactions to my new project and how I’m trying to find a way to depict it in some clear form. Presently, I can’t get past the idea of a table or matrix reflecting blessing vs. admiration.

Women aren’t here to serve or please men. The superior sex is here to serve and please women in such ways that men find them fascinating, irresistible, and promising as monogamous mates. Women play their cards right when they live within the blessings they inherit at birth.



Filed under feminine

2075. Liked or Respected, Which is Best?

Dealing with men or their man, there are two kinds of women. Some seek to be liked and others to be respected. The former learn to live with continuous dislike of themselves; they look back continuously. The latter work to earn respect and behave as if they are respected; they don’t have to look back.

The difference determines how men perceive them by subliminally reading their attitudes. Men believe in and rely on their perceptions, especially what they see. A person’s attitude is the most obvious expression of what resides in their hearts and it’s virtually visible to the subconscious mind of men—though not as good as women read it.

Wanting to be liked works directly against a woman’s best interest. She misses out on being respected, which is the foundation of man’s love. Her attitude reveals a sense of inadequacy, which reveals lack of self-respect, which makes her unable to respect men as they expect it, and which discourages a man’s respect of her. Her begging for attention makes her annoying. Her sense of near or complete desperation scares men away; she’s unpredictable to male eyes.

Seeking to be liked also prompts women to explain themselves, which arises from their sense of inadequacy. They also complain too easily, which is prompted by feeling treated less than they deserve, which is prompted by the need for confirmation of their self-importance. When they don’t get the reactions they expect, both their self-image and self-worth plummet, which prompts more complaining and explaining.

The other kind of woman works independently to her own advantage. She seeks to be respected as a person, woman, mother, and her other roles and in that order. As a person she doesn’t look down on others. As a woman she holds her head high and stands up for herself to men. As a mother she insists that father defer to her as prime leader of her children. As a housewife she determines how and by whom housework will be done. As an employee she determines the value of her work effort relative to her responsibilities at home. And on and on through her other roles.

She latches onto and replenishes her spirit with inborn strengths, such as female modesty, feminine vanity, mirror-enhanced prettiness, monogamous spirit, relative meekness, submissive spirit, and extra respect for those that earn it. All used to get her way in matters dealing with her moral, ethical, and religious standards and expectations for the others around her. She will not win all the battles, but it’s the standing up for herself that wins the wars with each guy including husband.

The respectable woman is a proactive member of the superior sex and can capitalize on it as long as she doesn’t claim that as her inheritance. IOW, as long as men don’t hear it from her mouth.

The self-fulfilling prophecy works in both cases. The harder one woman tries to be liked, the more her self-like declines. She gets feedback opposite to that she longs for. The more the other woman works to sustain or improve her respectability, the more affirming feedback she gets from all men and especially her own.



Filed under Dear daughter

2054. Romance — Her Side of the Story

 As with so many things, the sexes differ dramatically about romance. As with affection, they have social contradictions that I tag with medical terms. She has romance deficit disorder. He has romance delivery disorder. Her story today, his tomorrow.

Women are born to be romanced. It confirms their self-importance, stimulates the satisfying disclosure of feelings for one another, generates self-gratitude, and provides conviction (without insurance) they are on the way to happiness. Romance is women’s payday for living graciously important lives, and they expect to be paid frequently according to the depth of a relationship.

Romance means exclusive attention, sweet compliments, whispered affections, expressions of devotion, reminders of her importance, confirmation of her worth, affirmation that her prettiness registers as beauty with someone, and actions that specifically confirm and don’t contradict the foregoing. Women can imagine a gazillion ways that men can convey and demonstrate such ‘simple’ things.

The opposite of men, her imagination stirs her curiosity. Her imagination can and often runs wild about a new guy of interest. Curious about why he doesn’t respond to her romance expectations, she finds no fault with herself. Instead, she easily blames him as inadequate romancer and in need of improvement.

Women take personally a man’s lack of romancing her. Consequently, they blame men as inadequate, which transmutes in practice as lack of respect of men, which weakens women’s influence, which makes men less interested in paying women for living graciously important lives.

On two counts, his lack and her curiosity, blame outweighs lack of romance as the culprit in modern day relationships. Women can live with lack of romance better than lack of a man. Lack of romance dulls her side of a relationship. Blame, however ruins his side. Blame spurs her into finger pointing mode; which spurs her to take to her mouth; which offends him; which generates resentment, resistance, and often retaliation; and which far too easily pushes him into departure mode.

I advise women to drop the blame game, period. It is always anti-female to finger men as faulty. Not that they aren’t, just that they don’t take kindly to women doing it and especially their mate. It inevitably works against her because her blame-based best intentions have negative influence.

Women can and should develop their own training techniques. She has to make it her habit to train men to romance her. It starts at first encounter, becomes vital in dating, and fully develops in courtship. By the time they become engaged, his habit should be well established to participate with her more closely, more affectionately, and more intimately. Effectiveness training her man determines the frequency and worth of her future paydays.

This question will arise so I shall answer ahead of it. How do you train a man to be a romancer? 1) Follow your heart, female instinct, and feminine intuition. Follow not what you think you’re owed, due, or need. Follow not what others tell you to expect in response to your initiatives. Follow not what your girlfriends do. Follow not what you wish for. Do what makes you feel more like a woman when you do something with him or yourself. If you hurt, wait for his solace. If you’re happy, don’t over play it. If he gets uncomfortable with you, let him dig himself out of the hole. Keep your self-interest as first priority; he has to catch and capture you. Reverse that last sentence and automatically poison your female nature for guiding you.

2) Require him to earn your affection, love, and worth as potential mate. Make him the seller and you the buyer in everything. If he does it with words, it doesn’t program his heart to favor you. If he does it with actions, you gain the maximum benefit of his heart programmed to your favor.

3) Gently and smoothly invite cuddling when just sitting around. Don’t push on him for anything. He must be lured. Let him get familiar with how easy you are to please when close together. Don’t tell him but gently and slowly encourage him to realize how important physical closeness is to you. He doesn’t need it; he has to learn to like it in his own heart, patiently slipped in by you. Don’t whisper sweet things to him expecting him to do the same; he won’t. You should hint and plant seeds that sweet words inspire you to greater things as date, girlfriend, fiancé, or wife. You can be especially effective while cuddled if you talk and act more as you did when he married you. He doesn’t want to talk or hear about the wedding; he wants to hear and see you duplicate yourself as his fiancé.

4) Regularly and frequently use a phrase I coined twisted to fit whatever the situation: Men are never more handsome than when they please their girlfriends/fiancees/wives with (as appropriate) sweet talk, whispers of devotion, violets, hand-picked wild flowers, cuddling up for TV, surprises, unexpected date night, date night just concluded, little gifts, unexpected thoughtfulness, waltzing her around the kitchen, singing to her, holding a pleasured smile in front of her face. Use it at every opportunity for even the slightest things that touch on romance.*

If you haven’t figured it out by now, “men are never more handsome” programs both hearts with appreciation of the other. It sweeps up many romantic ingredients into daily habits at whatever stage of relationship development.

Women know what they want and expect as romance from a man. They don’t, however, know how to get the quality or quantity they expect. Men don’t know much about what romance means to women. Even worse, they can’t figure out how to deliver whatever it is that women expect. It may become understandable with tomorrow’s post about his side of the story.


*The phrase works best when kept in third person, i.e., using ‘men are’ and ‘wives’ rather than ‘you’ and ‘wife’ or ‘me’.) As written it’s a compliment. As ‘you’ and ‘me’ it’s sucking up which earns suspicion rather than appreciation.

Also, until he becomes a more romantic guy, I suggest these not be used with the ‘men are never’ phrase: helping with the dishes, opening car doors, washing her car, taking out the trash, setting the table, planning for visitors. Unless, of course, she feels those things are part of romancing her.



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