Tag Archives: recovery

2313 — Desperate Females

Some Other Guy at 2311 hits it out of the park. Men are attracted to “pleasant feminine energy.” Girls especially should pay attention to what follows.

Let’s presume a couple meets. This principle governs the interaction of two people. What he figures out about her goes into his heart. What she tells him about herself only goes into his mind. Just as women do, men follow their heart first. There is, however, a sex difference. What he tells her about himself can find its way into her heart, although it depends on the whole picture she develops of who and what he means to and for her.

There are two kinds of feminine energy and one isn’t so pleasant. One works and the other doesn’t. I’m speaking, of course, against female behavior that comes across that she’s desperate to have a boyfriend.

The following are signs of female desperation that kill rather than earn a man’s respect or hold his attention after conquest.

  1. She seeks to lead the encounter with her words and seemingly wants to make the end results of their dialogue turn out her way.
  2. She talks mostly to describe her value. She tries with words and actions to prove her worth and what she can add to his life.
  3. She doesn’t act natural within her personality. She tries too hard and comes across as uncomfortable with herself, which doesn’t earn any respect and perhaps the opposite.
  4. She may act as if she’s listening to him, but she doesn’t truly hear what he says. As she listens, her mind is calculating how she can respond to win his continued attention and, hopefully, affection. It’s self-defeating but she doesn’t know it. Desperation consumes her earnestness.
  5. She overdoes whatever the situation calls for and appears to have some level of phoniness about her. Overdoing things crushes the appearance of sincerity.
  6. She shows an evident lack of sincerity that kills trust, which means that a guy’s respect does not develop.
  7. In short, he gets to figure out nothing about her except negatives, such as she’s boring, insincere, and not for his continued interest except for bedtime.
  8. If he’s a player, he says only enough to keep her talking herself right into his bed. If he’s the Marrying Man, he finds someone else.

These signs of her sincerity and his behaviors combine to add the “pleasantness” to feminine energy.

a. She enthuses him to continue talking to her, mostly all about himself. It enables her to uncover his interests, habits, and ways of thinking.

b. She doesn’t talk up her worthiness or how she can benefit him. Instead, she encourages his talking that brings out his character and personality and his good fortune that they add so much value to his persona and manliness.

c. His figuring out who and what she is in terms of worthiness to him gives him a sense of accomplishment followed by self-satisfaction. What he figures out goes to his heart as conviction that transmutes into belief for his future dealing with her.

d. He measures her worth by how sincerely interested she is and how attentively and appreciatively she follows his describing who he is and what he does. How she listens to him is a cardinal virtue when a man considers husbanding for a woman. When she proves it at first encounter and his conviction forms that she’s a sincere and interested listener for him, it brightens their future together.

e. While he does most of the talking, from feedback he figures out her character and specific qualities. Each that he admires becomes a virtue, and men want to marry a virtuous woman. So, the more he figures out, the more appealing and ultimately fascinating she becomes. It all develops in his heart from how she responds to his describing who he is and what he does.

In the course of their dialogue, each has a prime motivation.

  • She seeks to make herself important to him. Desperate women think they can do it with their words and proclaimed intention to please him forevermore. Smart women follow their nature. They make themselves important by enabling him to please himself talking about himself.
  • He’s seeks to conquer her. Rather than allowing him to pry into her and her life as the way to get her into bed, she defeats him with charming but not turn-off resistance. Examples: He mentions sex, she changes the subject to marriage. He inquires about her sexual status, practice, or past. She responds smilingly with “I don’t know you well enough,” or “It’s none of your business. Let’s change the subject.” Of course, each woman should have many ready-to-use responses that fit her own personality and determination. Her responses shouldn’t turn guys off but keep their interest up. She only diverts his interest temporarily, because his urge to conquer is always being figured out in the back of his mind.

Desperate women face desperate times during every encounter with a potential boyfriend. The cause of desperation starts with a woman’s belief that a boyfriend/husband will solve her problems. But what’s her problem? Loneliness? Keeping up with other women? Convinced she deserves better than she’s got?

The best recovery from those problems is greater belief in herself as deserving person, good woman, and potential mate. That will come with deeper study and understanding of what’s in this blog about the worth of the superior sex.



Filed under courtship, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, How she wins, sex difference

212. Virtual Virginity #12

© Unmarried sex causes couples to over-commit and under-connect.

© Until she yields sex, her value goes up increasingly to each man chasing her. People instinctively value highly what they cannot have.

© Everybody makes mistakes. Recovery is everything, and virtual virginity provides it for past sexual mistakes.

© Avoiding life as an ex comes easier to the woman that elevates and honors her sexual assets above marriage.  

© Refusing to have unmarried sex forces a man to prove himself worthy of her and capable of fulfilling her expectations for home and family. Else, he’s after sex and not her.

© Scoring with a hard-to-get woman elevates a man’s sense of significance, but it’s more ego than conviction.

© The woman that a man respects and honors adds to his convicted sense of significance, whether they are sex partners or not.

© Refusing to have sex with an attractive man requires strength of character to keep from turning him off. Hard-headed feminine gentleness helps.

© A woman’s biggest challenge is to keep from being eager or desperate to have a boyfriend, dates, sex, or whatever else she thinks she has to have for the short term.

[More about virtual virginity appears in posts 198, 181, 169, 158, 147, 136, 125, 96, 70, 51, 44, and 25. Scroll down or search for the number with a dot and space following.]


Filed under Uncategorized, virginity

113. Sex is iffy.

When fascination, infatuation, lust, respect, and love fade for a woman, men resort to character and nature. Women usually suffer consequences with roots in their first sex together.

The male mind set comes in all shapes and sizes. But, like women, they have their own set of expectations. Unfortunately for women, masculine expectations lean toward conquest more than relationship stability. That’s evident in the way men change after conquest of a woman.

If he won’t honor her values, standards, and expectations before conquest, he likely won’t afterward.

If he won’t make himself worthy of her before conquest, instead of her becoming worthy of him, he likely won’t afterward.

If he won’t romance her before they get into foreplay and intercourse, he likely won’t learn to do it for their future together. [See post #33, ‘Romance Gap’ is all about her.]

If he’s the buyer and she’s the seller before marriage, look out for the dump that’s likely coming.  

If she’s not the seller to his buyer role after marriage, she’s likely qualifying herself for abandonment.

If she expects his devotion, remember that it arises from what he does for her, not what she does for him.

If she yields to him, she should expect conqueror’s rights to kick in. First, he takes charge of their sexual agenda.

If she expects to be a big trophy for him: The harder to get, the bigger the trophy.

If she expects her feminist leanings, attitude, and political expectations to override his natural masculine behaviors, her value to him will diminish over time.

If after they marry she waters down her help, support, gratitude, and encouragement for who and what he is, she may also want to research where the local exes recovery group is meeting. 



Filed under courtship, Uncategorized

65. The 2-year glitch, 7-year itch, 20-year switch

NOTE: This article re-published without change as #2251.


Filed under exes