- “I’m a little freaked out that my husband is crying at Disney Channel TV shows and I’m being snuggled to death!” [MeowMeow at 2342 that explains the sex-role switcheroo caused by hormone losses as we age.]
- “If someone else is to blame then someone else is the only one with the power to make things better.” [Instanitybytes22 at 2347.]
- “Our bodies are the number 1 possession, it is priceless and no-man should have access to it unless he is willing to also give us his number 1 possession, aka freedom.” [Emma at 2149]
- “…we speak to each other kindly and we do not hit below the belt when we are upset.” [The lady-author of the PRiM article, 2306]
- “I had an interesting revelation…. I realized it was more important to me for [respected male coworkers] to think I’m pretty than for them to think I’m smart. Obviously it’s important they think I’m competent – this is a job – but I’d rather they think I’m pretty-and-competent than brilliant-and-competent. … This is really counter-intuitive for someone who’s always worked and studied hard to ‘keep up with the boys’ in a male-dominated field. … I also finally think I can forgive my grandfather for saying, “You get prettier every time I see you,” and dismissing me every time I tried to engage him in discussions of his work in the same field as my father, my brother, and myself. On a related note, I don’t really care much what the coworkers I do not respect think.” [Meggrz at 1690]
- “One of the many problems with feminism is that it teaches women that there is something wrong with “wanting to live up to someone more important than us,” generally men. But that is what makes us happy, that is what brings us joy. Within feminism, to seek the approval of men is thought to be debasing oneself, so what is innate and instinctual to us is at war with what is socially acceptable.” [Insanitybytes22 at 2210]
- “Remember ladies. Wanting to be chased is a feminine desire. If a man requires it, you’ve got a problem.” [Tooconfused at 2322]
- “The women say men and women can be just friends PERIOD. :-) The men say, men in friendships with women never view it as “just friends”, but rather men just respect being in the holding pattern until the woman opens the door for more. I tend to agree with the men.” [Shanna at 2321]
- “Men are wired by nature to move on from rejection and try again, but for a woman it hurts and feels unnatural to be UNWANTED by a man, so of course, I strongly disagree with themes that encourage women to actively pursue men.” [Sarina at 2326]
- “Another little thing I would tell my kids… How you think in your heart, will eventually show up on your face.” [Surfercajun at 2334]
Tag Archives: rejection
- The sexes differ. She respects what she sees (her secondary sensor) and likes what she hears (her primary and most dependable sensor). He respects what he hears (his secondary sensor) and likes what he sees (his primary and most dependable sensor).
- Adolescent meanness is not new. But I recently heard one that particularly galled me. Either on TV or video a girl pointed at an overweight boy, rustled her huge bosom in mockery, pointed at the boy’s fat-surrounded nipples, and ridiculed him as a ‘birl’. Clever yes. With that kind of disrespect among teens, how can any kind of respect grow among them as adults. If they’re always looking for ways to disrespect someone, adolescents and adultolescents will find it.
- Women seem convinced that fear of rejection makes men cautious of approaching a woman. However, it’s not the rejection; they can handle that. It’s having failed in the masculine competitive spirit to capture and hold her attention that really sucks up his ego, prevents self-admiration, and temporarily shrivels his sense of significance.
- Females who practice masculine-style sexual freedom weaken the institution of marriage. 1) They provide men with frequent and convenient sex without making them obligate themselves and demonstrate respect for females as special individuals, equally unique people, and other than sex machines. 2) The presence of cheap and easy sex lures husbands away from faithful husbanding and responsible fathering.
Men fear rejection on initial encounters, but they get over it. Women take rejection much harder and recovery is especially difficult if she thinks a relationship has started.
- Husband takes wife for granted, when she displays the independence that men commonly show. He sees her doing well if his attention is not required. Her self-confidence and complaint-free attitude thus work against her. She takes him for granted when she focuses her efforts on the kids or her career.
- As men see it, single women display themselves according to the value they place on their sexual assets. Advertising and sloppy and unattractive appearance means low cost for sex. Attractive neatness and highly modest appearance translates as high cost. As women see it, they value their sexual assets as reward for a guy’s love. Ironically, after capturing boyfriend or husband, they downgrade their appearance, which reduces value of their sexual assets, which downgrades sex for imaginative rewards, which weakens his interest.
- Men respond more to thinking than feelings and don’t like to think that they change. They are also more reluctant to divulge what lies in their heart. Women respond more to feelings, disclose them more readily, and change them more easily.
We return to the workings of the male mind, as it considers asking for first date.
Impressions are stronger than facts, because we’re emotional creatures. Mystery about her sexual proclivities works best to attract his asking for first date.
© Men admire chastity in a woman, but they don’t hit on nuns. Why? Respect, of course, and lack of hope. As Emerson claims: The world turns on hope.
© If hopeful of sex and he’s not playing it vague and unavailable, he normally asks for a date. If she declares, avows, or everyone knows that she’s into no sex without marriage, she eliminates hope and might as well be in nun’s habit. Why ask for date unless he already seeks to marry on her terms?
© Mystery surrounding her chasteness is stronger and more a challenge than is the certainty or absence of it. A sprinkling of suspicion about her standards does far more to capture a man’s curiosity and spark his imagination for conquest, hence make him more likely to ask her out.
© Mystery pays. Smiles without reason, friendliness without eagerness, and preliminary conversation without sex overtones pays off. Familiarity reduces mystery and works against her. Sex lures and objectification, for example, reduce risk for him. It also reduces respect and value for her.
© Females fish with full disclosure, as if males appreciate it as women do. This gives a male time and info to reduce his risk of rejection. First date may result, but less risk means weaker investment of his Self, which means less value and respect for her, which weakens prospects for second date.
Summarizing, chasteness earns a man’s respect and admiration, but his knowledge of its certainty can discourage asking for first date.
Each attractive female has what he’s after, because male hormones push for sex. When sex is cheap, he looks for easy stuff rather than spin wheels screening for the female of his dreams.
Her rejection spawns bitterness, aggression, and violence. Rejection imagined as extremely personal turns boys, and those men who can’t handle it, toward extreme aggressiveness and even violence.
When No Sex without Marriage is the strategy used by most women and honored by girls, males do not so easily take rejection personal. If rebuffed, they assume her character and moral standards reject his invitation, so females are not rejecting him personally.
This turns men away from sex for its own sake and pushes them to compete for a woman with sex as follow-on. This requires and males accept that they suppress aggressiveness and violence. They make themselves more female-friendly.
In this way, the sexual habits of most females stifle male aggression and violence toward individuals.
Virtual Virginity, aka VirtVirgin, means keeping her legs crossed before marriage. It puts her in the buyer’s seat and forces a man to be the seller, to make himself worthy of her instead of the other way around.
Her attractiveness spikes his interest for sex. It’s up to her to convert his interests to her. VirtVirgin does it best.
Her first refusal intensifies his effort. Subsequent refusals push him to look ever deeper for weaknesses, so as to capitalize on whatever will get her in bed. (This all presumes he accepts her refusals as other than rejections of him.)
As her refusals continue in courtship, he serendipitously discovers her admirable strengths and non-sexual qualities. These earn more respect for her potential as a keeper. (Provided, of course, he’s more interested in her than just conqueror’s sex.)
That’s how VirtVirgin works to benefit her as buyer. By contrast, enabling his conquest before marriage reverses their roles:
· He becomes the buyer and pays whatever low price she lets him get by with prior to conquest.
· As the seller, she pays the highest possible cost, because she has only one conquest event with each man. (Women may not see it that way, but men do. Men change after conquest, and this forces women to change to stay abreast of him. (See more about their changes at post 27 below.)
· Conquest is a relationship-changing event for a man. He quits looking so attentively at a conquered woman. Nature releases his mindset to pursue something or somebody else.
· By yielding unmarried sex, she let him know what price she charges for submission. This naturally, automatically, and subconsciously programs his mind on how their relationship will work in the future.
· This enlarges his expectations for getting his way with her—we’re talking greater male dominance here, aren’t we?
That’s how the act of denying unmarried sex turns her into winner and providing it enables him to move on to something other than intensely focusing on her. The longer and more intensely he stays focused on her, the greater their bonding and the more promising their future together.
[More on VirtVirgin appears at posts 96, 70, 51, 44, 26, and 25 below.]