Tag Archives: relationship harmony

2665. Refresher Thoughts — 04


  1. Criticism doesn’t lift its finger to help. Self-criticism lifts a finger, but it holds a knife dulled by too much use.
  2. Gratitude lifts its finger to help. Self-gratitude lifts the whole hand.
  3. When its customary for women to be overweight, underweight becomes rare, which means trophy to hunter-conquerors.
  4. Men don’t give up their independence for marriage. They give up the appearance of it. Husbands remain determined to satisfy themselves with their lives. She’s expected to take care of things for which he better be noticeably proud, grateful, and crown her as highly important.
  5. Women think because men eat heavy, it’s all right for women, who forget that men feast with their eyes and hunter-conquerors seek the most attractive targets.
  6. Men figure they are easy to love. By appreciating, respecting, admiring, and satisfying themselves, they make themselves worthy of a woman’s love.
  7. Men do whatever women require in order to have frequent and convenient access to sex. If women require little, they get many candidates of little worth. They make a man’s life too easy and leave him unchallenged. OTOH, fruitless striving to get her into bed frustrates him into investing more of himself, which results in his becoming worthy of her.
  8. A woman’s love develops quickly when it matches her hopes and dreams for life with a man. When she looks for Mr. Right, however, she short-circuits her instinctive and intuitive decision-making system.
  9. Relationship harmony flows more out of mutual respect and likeability than as the result of love. IOW, love is never enough in spite of how women expect otherwise—both hopelessly and habitually.
  10. Wives wonder if husband is proud of her. Here’s the answer. Married hunter-conquers, their weapons neutralized by love of wife, nevertheless desire competitor buddies to be envious of past conquests. The more femininely rare the wife appears, the more envy it stirs, and conquerors love it.

5 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage

2085 — Female Blessings at Birth — 82-84 Plus


The new project seeds continue at the end of each blessing. They are bolded. I cite her blessing as men might see it and add a man’s likely response. It’s my attempt at tying her actions to what men see in her. Your comments are needed to help clarify it anywhere and anyhow you see fit. If we argue about it, good, it helps clarify my effort.

How’s he going to like her as a woman if she doesn’t act more like a woman than a man? How better to act like that than by displaying and being guided by the unique traits and characteristics she is born with?

82. “I am grateful that I have the ability to activate my hard-headedness when I am all soft and mushy on the inside and have the ability to show my soft-heartedness when the world is so harsh and hard on the outside.” [Special credit to Cocoa for her contribution identifying this female blessing that comes with birth. Guy adds: Her soft-heartedness is designed to compensate at least and overcome at best the inborn hard-heartedness of men. Her blessing: She can be hard-headed as necessary and soft-hearted when appropriate. His admiration: She amazing; she knows when to fight and how to win battles.]

83. I am so grateful that I have the potential to find a great life as someone’s wife. First for being asked to marry and then for finding importance in family, belonging, emotional comfort, and joy of life among others. [Special credit to Surfercajun for her contribution identifying this female blessing that comes with birth. Guy adds: Exploiting her potential requires use of the blessings she acquires at birth. Her blessing: She has the ability to bring harmony into relationships. His admiration: How can she be so smooth and easy at settling differences and bringing order when emotional conflict is closer to normal?]

84. I am grateful that I possess the resourcefulness to create a beautiful and comfortable life without spending much money so I can lighten the burden on my husband. [Special credit to Amyr002 for her contribution identifying this female blessing that comes with birth. Guy adds: Frugal is as frugal does. Women know it instinctively and promote their self-importance with frugality. Her blessing: She’s as frugal as necessary and can even live well with very little. His admiration: She would do that for me?]

As before, mark each item T or F with whatever comment you wish to add.

To expand on yesterday’s closing thought, women aren’t here to serve or please men. The superior sex is here to serve and please women in such ways that men find them fascinating, irresistible, and promising as monogamous mates. Women play their cards right when they live within the blessings they inherit at birth. Out of that men learn that they can—with sufficient care and regard for the givers—be served and pleased by women. It’s called female leadership by indirectness. Both sexes get what they want and expect out of the other and it goes by this common term, compatibility.

 

4 Comments

Filed under feminine

2027. Female Blessings at Birth — 34-36


This is the twelfth group and I’m grateful for your earlier responses.

I continue taking the (currently 89) default attitudes for a test drive and your examination. (Bear with me awhile. I’m in the process of renaming Default Attitudes as Female Blessings from Birth.)

Please identify each item by its number and indicate true/false, as you see it. True means that a default item is part of female nature that women inherit at birth. It resonates in your heart as truth, even though you may never have thought of it. Don’t let my explanations alter your vote. How does the item register in your heart?

False means that the item is missing completely from your heart, it’s something you learned during life, or you just don’t think women are born that way.

Where I explain or add, I could be wrong. Feel free to challenge me. I’m not trying to be right, just searching for truth.

34. I want a man of my own; one I can depend upon, appreciate, and grow to respect. I shall refine him and us according to the dream I have of us together. (Guy adds: Unfortunately, if a woman can directly induce her man to change (after he conquers her, this is), she loses respect for him. She continues to respect a man who gradually and subconsciously responds favorably to her indirectness, patience, reasonableness, respectability, pleasantness, and likeability. That is, he responds to her being the more important cog for improving their lives together. Otherwise, a man resists change from outside sources, which encourages her hints, patience, cooperation, and other forms of indirect influence.]

35. I know to compete with men for my sexual assets before I yield sex the first time to each one, because it enables me to both screen out the unworthy and induce change in those who want me bad enough. [Guy adds: Screening out those not good enough for her is easy. For candidates who are good enough, withholding sex for an extended period is required to allow time for whatever changes he makes to become habit that will follow their relationship forever.]

36. I know not to compete but cooperate with my husband. [Guy adds: To compete with him is to contradict his conqueror’s right, challenge his dominance, threaten his sense of significance, interfere with his self-image, and confront his self-respect. As her cooperative spirit breeds relationship harmony, she enhances each of those manly imperatives and vice versa. Indirectly, to be sure, but every enhancement adds to her influence, personal benefit, and marital longevity.]

Example for your response: “36-F ” works okay to reflect your opinion of false to that one item. Also, comments are welcome and desired, especially if you take exception to anything.

Thank you for your opinions.

 

6 Comments

Filed under feminine

1956. Nagging


Her Highness Emma at post 1955 said this. “We need love and constant reminder that I “wife” is the most important person in His life. Somewhere this was lost and the wife becomes the nagging wife trying to get her hubby to show appreciation.” She is right on both counts. My response is to try anything and everything to avoid nagging.

Nagging flows out of the natural motivational differences between the sexes. A woman’s prime motivation in life is to earn a sense of self-importance and she expects input from others to confirm it. Married, she expects primary confirmation from husband. When she figures that he takes her for granted, she cannot live with the uncertainty and so she obligates herself to do something.

Husband seeks self-admiration just as wife seeks self-importance. But husband depends on his accomplishments and internal confirmation whereas wife looks for external confirmation. His accomplishment with marriage is that he earned her. He figures that case is closed. He is obligated to achieve elsewhere in order to produce, provide, protect, and problems solve for his family. That is, fulfill those and other missions in life, among which are his R&R habits of relaxation.

She chooses nagging as the way to fulfill obligations to herself. She feels good doing it, for vengefully expressing her hurt. He hears messages of disapproval that are disconnected from his missions in life. If he is not appreciated, then he is not respected and she is not grateful for him. His sense of duty makes him want to please her; her nagging eats away as that sense of duty. Eventually, he braces up inside, turns to his inner strength, and does not care what she thinks. In parallel, her worth to him diminishes.

He may not leave her but nagging easily leads to living separate lives under the same roof. Wife may adjust to it, but in the long run it is worse than being taken for granted and harder to recover from.

When her irresistible force of wanting him to change meets his immovable object of men do not change to please a conquered woman, something has to give and relationship harmony usually falls first.

His taking her for granted has roots in his acceptance of her excellence. Her nagging has roots in retaliation and revenge sponsored by hurt. Which works best to promote harmony?

7 Comments

Filed under How she loses

930. THE MALE MATRIX: alpha, beta, gamma—Part VIII


This extracurricular post provides a more fundamental and broader look at male behavior than provided by alpha, beta, and gamma.

Men compete against men, and results determine which men get which women. As Her Highness Miss Dawn phrased it, the game works best for women by “…being realistic about your Sexual Market Value and finding a balance between who YOU WANT and WHO WANTS YOU.” (Emphasis by her.)

Men take it a step further: They continually seek to improve rather than balance their ‘sexual market value’. Somewhere on the male spectrum of extreme high alpha to extreme low gamma lies a dividing line that separates men into two sectors with different results: Men of the upper sector get the women they choose; men of the lower sector get the women that choose them.

Upper sector men energize themselves as necessary to capture their woman of choice. They do whatever it takes. If she’s too easy, he loses respect and chooses someone else. When she has high values, standards, and expectations, he’s forced to live up to something bigger and more important than himself. His improvement adds value to him, her, and society.

Lower sector men don’t have to work hard; they pursue sex and loaf around waiting for some woman to make a relationship attractive enough for them to go along with her wishes. The result: Lower sector men often avoid or lack incentive to live up to something or someone more important than themselves, especially not their woman. No improvement in male behavior bodes ill for society and relationship harmony.

Females determined to capture men at all cost expand the lower side and shrink upper side numbers. The result: Fewer men today work hard to charm, capture, and hold their choice, particularly a wife. More and more marriages crumble because of poor choices made by women that choose instead of being chosen.

Male dominance of cultural values and standards as exists today expands the number of men in the lower sector. Female dominance of the culture expands the upper sector to make more men choosers instead of relationship losers.

The more highly the male gender is valued in the culture, the more easily men move into the upper sector and improve the mechanisms of society as a whole. That is, the better the men, the more women accept letting themselves be captured. The more women do that, the better that marriages and society turn out.

I close this series with a personal note: This blog and especially the virtual virginity series aim to inform women how they can become the chosen rather than the choosers, the winners rather than marital losers.

19 Comments

Filed under Sociology 101