Tag Archives: respect for others

1765. Sex Difference Redux — Part 19: Love II (w/ Kathy Petersen)

Conditional Love

God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize the male and female natures. Out of that bundle of blessings, specific motivations stir everyone, love emerges in three forms, and the sexes love very differently.

  • Romantic love is seemingly unconditional and very crowded with unexplainable and often unjustified emotions. It’s also temporary, because it fades a year or two after a couple’s first sex together. (Consequently, unless otherwise called to your attention, romantic love will not be addressed further in this series.)
  • Mother-love is unconditional, born of birthing and nurturing, and is the most stable and enduring of all forms of love.
  • Enduring love is conditional love based on factors of mutual attractiveness. The attractiveness must be magnetic enough to withstand time, social pressures, and the whims and quirks of individual and often competing self-interests. Enduring love bonds friends, relatives, and—after their romantic love fades—couples. It’s the primary love for holding marriages together.

By way of examining the natural differences that govern the way that men and women love, consider three stimulating principles that play major roles in life and love.

  • We all do what makes us feel good about ourselves. This natural characteristic motivates men and women to love one another. Women because they need it. Men because they like it.
  • We can’t pass on to others what we don’t possess. For example, only to the extent we respect or love ourselves can we respect or love someone else. To the extent we don’t believe in ourselves, others treat us accordingly. If we don’t respect others, our children won’t either. If we are short of self-respect, we can’t endow our children with more self-respect than we have.
  • Self-respect is the foundation. Respect for others is the structure. Mutual respect is the key to successful human relationships. Without all three forms, then dislike, distrust, doubt, and even suspicion prevail to squeeze out room for love. If we don’t believe in someone, they won’t respect us. If we don’t respect someone, they won’t trust us.
  • Consequently, the root of husbandly excellence lies in boyhood. It starts with parents, teachers, and other opinion leaders treating boys with respect such that their self-respect develops as high as possible. Following that, boys must be taught to respect others, to learn from experience the blessings of mutual respect, and to develop belief in the unique worth and benefit of females. All of which is essential to the process of womanhood ‘growing’ good husbands.

Boiled down to equivalents, love is to women what respect is to men. Relationship compatibility is either built on that combination, or it doesn’t last. And so females, the relationship experts, are challenged to breathe life into the development of boys, men, and husbands. That’s why they get paid the big bucks of seeing their hopes and dreams come true.

Tomorrow’s article describes how the sexes differ on the subject of love.



Filed under sex differences

710. Make Mr. Promiscuous Faithful — Part 4

To recap: Conscience is a function of respect for others, and that’s a reflection of how others respect us. Let’s continue with the man.

  • Males must be conditioned to be faithful to one woman. The male nature knows no conscience about spreading seed. Either female-driven Nurture compensates for Nature’s shortcoming in his formative years, or wives and families pay for the consequent oversupply of unfaithful men.
  • A man’s admirable conscience grows from the infusion of morality, respectability, and mutual respect exemplified by parents and other adults. The absence of such things produces a less admirable conscience.
  • Toddlers are first, because their mind has opened and self-interest starts to develop. They learn to respect others by being shown respect for whom and what they are. To greater but varying degrees, the same continues with tweens, teens, and adults.
  • After entering adulthood a man’s conscience changes little except in response to traumatic events, the most glorious being acceptance of the Lord into his life.
  • Guys treated poorly by females in their life tend to smother their conscience and sometimes squelch it entirely. Guys treated respectfully turn out quite differently and much more reverential of women.
  • Mothers are better able to show respect for children than fathers. They have different natural roles in rearing children. Females focus on teaching right and wrong; males focus on obedience.
  • A man’s formative years determines what a woman has to build on during courtship. The more diligently and unanimously respected as a male by mother, grannies, sisters, aunts, teachers, and girlfriends, the more indelibly a man’s conscience becomes conditioned against mistreating females.
  • In principle, when the females in adult life duplicate or improve on those of his childhood, he’s likely to be faithful. When they don’t, he sees less reason to remain faithful, because his respect weakens.  

In the final analysis, a man’s faithfulness rests on this foundation: He respects the female gender more than his own. Building on that foundation, each woman has a role to fill. That’s tomorrow.

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529. Non-judgmental? Ha!

Few see this cause and effect: Modern men are not respected as they expect. Modern women are not treated as they want to be. The connection is direct. Like it or not, we all send messages about others as reflected against our own values, standards, and expectations.

    If we don’t respect a person, we pay less attention to how they feel, act, and treat us. Our beliefs about Self do not adjust to their judgments about us. We may even do the opposite, as children often do when they don’t respect parents. 

    Now, shift to people that we respect. They believe something about us and treat us accordingly. Whether positive or negative, because we respect them, we come to believe it too, which then translates into us acting more as they expect.

    Proportionality works too. More respect for the person generates easier acceptances by us. Repetition tends to more easily change or reinforce our beliefs about ourselves—again, whether good or bad, positive or negative, liked or disliked.

    If we feel better or bigger about ourselves as result of input from others, our respect for them grows. If we feel less so, our respect wanes or disappears. In essence, their expectations for us are fed back to them as our expectations for them. Non-judgmental? Ha!

Unfortunately, feminists and political correctioneers have turned off the respect switch between genders. Propagandized females extend it to the micro level of individuals. Consequently, modern females live up to the expectations of feminist radicals and their ilk more than their man.

When women learn to accentuate the positive about respecting the male gender and especially their man, they will be treated more like they want to be treated. For example, women can’t expect men to act like gentlemen, if women don’t act like ladies FIRST.


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