Tag Archives: self-worth

2131. Male Blessings — How Men Start Out In Life

The following are the essentials and the forerunner of Male Blessings At Birth to be posted soon at blog top.

Female blessings are qualities that make women grateful and are first steps to their happiness. Male blessings are heart-felt characteristics that men possess without regard to gratitude; they are just that way and are born to claim it. It’s just possession rather than gratitude. Their claims, however, are essential for each man to earn satisfaction within himself. Satisfaction, it’s the natural equivalent of happiness for women.

Ladies, you may be shocked especially with the first item. All men readers are urged to disagree if they can; I seek to post the truth clearly. Before lessons learned in life teach him to be more circumspect, agreeable, and perhaps polished because he wants something from women, a typical man would say:

  1. Until I upgrade them in my interest, women play a subordinate role in my life: a) They can be fun to play with mentally and physically. b) They make marvelous distractions from everyday burdens. c) They are vital for my sex life. d) Having a good mate can make life more convenient, functional, and enjoyable and my ambitions more easily realized.
  2. My life is built on, around, over, under, and through self-respect.
  3. I respect myself but find I must reinforce it regularly by doing something until I am at least temporarily satisfied.
  4. I feel satisfied and respectable following the completion of something I set out to do. Less so when ordered to do it or it’s not my idea. And disrespected when told to do something I already know how to do.
  5. My self-respect becomes reinforced when I do everything right the first time. But I become frustrated with disturbing surprises, undue interruptions, and when things don’t proceed or turn out my way.
  6. I respect myself for doing something better as I see it—or doing something else as I want it—and enabling it all to lead to contentment. IOW, life’s rewards are in the satisfaction that comes from doing what I want to do and just how I want to do it.
  7. I work to accomplish things and feelings don’t count as things (except  self-respect).
  8. I am my own man. I don’t change to please others and especially not females.
  9. I don’t respect myself when I criticize others. I don’t like my tendency to criticize myself, and so I don’t inflict it on anyone else. Let them learn from their own mistakes the same way I do.
  10. I respect myself even when I seem to act impulsively. Much of what I accomplish well is prompted by need to act quickly.
  11. I respect myself for being a ‘figure-outer’. I believe in what I figure out much easier and more indelibly than what others convince me of. (So, why stop and ask for directions?)
  12. Having to explain myself is contrary to my self-respect.
  13. I support and uphold self-respect by living by and with my responsibilities and decisions surrounding them.
  14. Criticize me if you like. I can take it. Do it too much though and I’ll get even or leave.
  15. My erections are to be used. How I do it contributes significantly to self-respect. Hard thrusting and deep penetration amplify my sense of dominance and enhance my self-worth like nothing else. Orgasm isn’t the prime mover; it’s feedback of job well done.
  16. My sex drive comes in two very different versions. a) Conquer every sexually attractive woman I can, which significantly amplifies self-respect. b) Satisfy my sexual urges in the best way available at the moment of erection, which reinforces self-respect unless my conscience says otherwise.
  17. Purity is important but symbolic. I prefer a virgin bride in order to beat out all those other guys who tried and failed. As with other things I pursue, being first enhances self-respect.
  18. My conscience is guided by what’s best for my self-interest, which may or may not include the interest of someone else.
  19. I am easily self-encouraged to both play and be lazy, but I’m built for work. Self-satisfaction lies with work and I can’t always play or be lazy. I love to build, disassemble, grow, change, improve, and replace things to make life easier. Enabling and earning laziness that way provides immense satisfaction.
  20. I am responsible only for myself until I purposely step up to something or someone else, which takes a lot of selling for me to buy in. (Note the contradiction that women have to work out. He expects to be sold on providing/protecting but she expects to be sold on his merit as potential mate. He buys into the concept by selling her on the idea of buying into him. IOW, relationship experts have to convince men to sell themselves down the marital river.)
  21. I’m simple. I respect myself for being pretty easy to understand.
  22. I love to idle my mind, to shift into neutral. It’s nourishes me mentally.
  23. I’m not fearful. I can figure out how to prevent or overcome whatever comes up.
  24. I can recover from almost anything and know who to recruit for help if I need it.
  25. Complaining produces no beneficial results except to make me feel better about relieving myself of unwanted mental burdens.
  26. I see no reason for more than minimal foreplay. If I’m ready, she’s ready.
  27. I expect people to earn my respect before I trust them.
  28. I’m very particular about food, money, and women and don’t care to explain myself.
  29. I’m not particular about emotions except my own. I can handle mine and expect others to do the same.
  30. I’m a man of habit. I like what I like and expect to keep doing it and loving it.
  31. My weaknesses shame me, and illness tends to do the same.
  32. I’m a good lover whenever I choose to be but most women are not worth the extra effort.
  33. I don’t expect others to like me. If they do that’s fine. If they don’t that’s okay too.
  34. I’m a creature of habits that I create and have little or no wish to change.
  35. I will make a difference. Don’t know when or where, but I will.
  36. I’m capable of doing good in life but everyday conditions don’t make it worthwhile. Incentives are lacking to do anything but take care of myself as best I can.
  37. I’m a daily guy. I feel a sense of dignity if I have somewhere to go in the morning, some obligation to start my day. I can handle tomorrow when it gets here.
  38. I think the primary purpose of money is convenience, mostly for use now.
  39. I intuitively reject efforts to be or act female-like. It weakens my self-respect and makes me less respectable.
  40. Might makes right.
  41. I’m a taker. I appreciate whatever I may get but I don’t much respect those who give for nothing. I expect to earn what I get.
  42. As a hunter-conqueror I find hard-to-conquer targets far more appealing and valuable as reinforcement for my self-respect.
  43. The most intolerable offense against my self-respect is sexual infidelity of my mate. Revealing my sexual shortcomings to anyone is second. Lying is third and stealing fourth.
  44. A woman who diligently protects her sexual assets as her greatest asset earns respect. To do less is to respect her less.
  45. After conquering a woman, I ‘own’ our sexual agenda.
  46. I don’t like to admit it, but my greatest fear is insignificance.
  47. I only need one thing. A place to flop, eat, throw my things, and prepare to fight tomorrow’s dragons. I need my stuff to be left alone so I can find it when I need it.
  48. I crave the freedom to do my own life by living with my own decisions.
  49. My primary challenge in life is to beat all those other guys who aspire to do what I want to do.
  50. I am not easily offended. Even when I am, I get over it fairly easy. I like it best and things work better when normal is what is normal for me.

There must be more blessings that men inherit at birth, but they haven’t yet come to mind. Those above will soon be explained in greater detail similar to that of Female Blessings at Birth. The result will be posted permanently at blog top. I invite readers, especially men readers, to propose revisions or new blessings we males may inherit at birth.

In the meantime, I ask all readers for your opinion about the accuracy of those posted above. This is a review prior to permanent posting. It’s how men are born and not what they learn in life; you can see early traces in toddler boys. Agree or disagree? Suggestion: Use T or F for any numbered item. Better yet, use B for believable or U for unbelievable. Truth and clarity drive me to do this. Other comments are also welcome and desired if you take exception to anything.

Thank you for whatever opinions you choose to present.


Filed under Dear daughter

2126. Mirror Time — Part IV: Trophies Also Fail

People presume that society rewards good looks. They decide and judge for example by paying attention only to slim, blonde, blue eyed trophies who luck out where others fail. The presumption is wrong, however, and it leads many women to lose faith in their natural strengths, deviate from their best interest, and often become female phonies or masculine in behavior.

Society rewards success and likeability for making others feel good about themselves. Consequently, your prettiness made prettier adds mayo to society’s sandwiches.

Even a woman with unattractive features can be successful and likeable, if she first builds success at the morning mirror. Purposely, she turns herself into a dynamic person by teaching herself to like herself very much just to start her day to her advantage. Painting the barn starts it best. Even trophies fail when they don’t like themselves very much (probably because they take their prettiness for granted and don’t otherwise and repeatedly convince themselves of their self-worth).*

What makes you pretty? Your looks or how others perceive you? The answer is neither. It’s what’s in your heart about you being top dog in your world but with rightful respect for others and their roles in your life. Let the following help squeeze out wrongful impressions.

  • You’re born pretty, so daily prettiness arrives when the mirror satisfies you for having done enough to optimize it. If you haven’t seen a mirror for a whole day, can you convince yourself that you remain pretty? How about two days? You know you’re pretty, but you just can’t be all that you expect to be. And so you act as though you’re not pretty enough. Self-confidence flutters, self-worth declines, and your dynamic influence fades from lack of belief in yourself.
  • Men complete goals and are satisfied. You are quite different. You are satisfied ONLY when you look as good as you expect to look at any given moment.
  • When you start the day unsatisfied with your appearance, you start an unhappy day. To reverse that, satisfy yourself by prettifying yourself to your satisfaction. That day will brighten.
  • To prettify yourself to please others pushes you into unknown territory where you lose control of your ambitions. You imagine or assume how you will impact them. It pushes you to prettify yourself for unseen and unpredictable targets. Each day you look for confirmation of your expectations, and the absence causes dissatisfaction in your day. People just don’t want to conclude what you expect.
  • Trying to shine yourself up for others also weakens your sincerity. Phoniness flows from it. Who knows how far you must go and where it will end if other people continually fail to meet your expectations? They leave you dissatisfied, so what can you do? Mostly you’re lost.

Women are born convinced of their prettiness, but they need daily and routine tune ups. A pleasant day starts for you when you satisfy yourself that you look your best. After much practice and continual adjustments to stay up with whatever improves your appearance and reinforces belief in yourself, you learn to satisfy yourself easily.

Daily uplifting of your prettiness opens the door to finding self-gratitude, which opens the door to finding gratefulness elsewhere, which earns happiness and enables a more pleasant and potentially successful life.

Life is built on habits, good life on good habits, and I propose a tough habit next.


*Maxwell Maltz, for many years a plastic surgeon to the upper class, claimed that he operated on many women to improve their appearance; they didn’t like themselves. Not one was uplifted or satisfied afterward. Most liked their new appearance but got no improvement about liking themselves. [Guy adds: Self-esteem, -image, and -worth come from your heart and not appearance. Your complaints about your appearance register and weaken those personal values residing in your heart. Positive reinforcement programs your heart to be more appreciative of self. Mirror time focused on your prettiness teaches you to focus on improvements, which ends complaints, which makes you a more self-believable person in your heart. Belief in self comes naturally to men and they confirm it with daily accomplishments. But not women. They get belief in self from what they tell themselves; they have to confirm it regularly, and the mirror is the best starter and most reinforcing place. The next post, 2127, will test your patience, belief, and more.]



Filed under Her glory

2088. Female Blessings at Birth — 91-93 Plus

We have arrived at the last three of the blessings that women carry but may not use. The new blessing/admiration seeds are bolded at the end of each item. I cite her blessings as men might see them and add a man’s natural response.

Your comments help and I continue to seek your T or F on each.

91. The root of my pleasure in life is my female uniqueness out of which popularity and sexual assets support my self-worth. [Guy adds: Knowing that men will do whatever women require for men to have frequent and convenient access to sex, smarter women rank feminine uniqueness higher than pleasure, self-respect higher than popularity, and self-worth higher than sexual relations. Her blessing: She’s of great worth as mate to a man. His admiration: (Short of what she would like.) Highly unlikely to pin me down—until she proves that she’s worth it, that is.]

92. I am grateful that my girlhood dreams came directly out of my heart, which I embellished with deep romance and well-deserved masculine chivalry. [Guy adds: Thus, a woman develops her primary mission in life. To live a good life in fulfillment of her girlhood dream. Her blessing: She knows what she wants her life to become, the process of loving and living for her and others. His admiration: For my long-range dreams and ambitions, she fits okay into my life. I can do romantic, chivalrous, nice, pleasant, kind, courteous, trusting, loyal, and respectable for my mate. Ain’t no big deal. Were I like other guys with few dreams or ambitions, she’s better off than I am.]

93. I am grateful for my social conscience in addition to the moral one. By that I mean my ability to analyze myself. I ease my guilt by analyzing myself as to cause and cure. Sometimes it works. Other times it doesn’t. I often overdo it with unintended consequences. I can even sink into depression by overdoing it. I’m still grateful, because it enables me to ease most of the misery of everyday guilt. [Guy adds: As to right and wrong and blame and innocence, self-analysis is a mixed blessing. Used beneficially and she profits. Used unwittingly and she punishes herself. For instance, she does something wrong or just out of kilter; the results were just not what she expected. Guilt sets in. She has to do something. To figure that out she turns to self-analysis. What did I do wrong? Insult them? Speak out when I shouldn’t? Hurt their feelings? Unable to find out for sure, she imagines possible answers. The more analysis, the more possibilities. The more possibilities, the more worries. The more worries, the more distraught she becomes. She cranks herself into a tizzy of options none of which appear to be appropriate and so her guilt intensifies rather than lessens. She loses sleep. She ignores or forgets this. We all make mistakes and recovery is everything. Her ability to search herself for cause and cure enables plans for recovery and self-analysis can ease her guilt. But it’s not all blessing. It can cause self-induced discomfort more than comfort. Some use it in ways that paralyze. Others recede into depression. But the smarter ones use it to just recover from mistakes rather than trying to solve problems for others. The more successful women are those less bothered by endless guilt. Her blessing: She can admit her mistakes and take blame for relationship friction. She’s endowed with the ability to minimize damage to herself and reduce blame on others. His admiration: I can’t do that. If someone is wrong or makes mistakes, they deserve what they get. It includes me, although I admit to escaping without much self-analysis.]

Thus, the series ends but the new project doesn’t. I shall soon post the new project condensed version—aka her blessings vs. his admiration—probably in one page at shown in the menu at blog top.

Three closing thoughts:

  • The item most declared false by readers was the first one that started, “I am a great kisser….” At post 2007 the score was: 11 True and 4 False)
  • Out of 391 opinions cast, only 7% were False. In fact, none of the Fs, while legitimate conviction among readers, was sufficiently convincing to deny that it’s inherited at birth. I therefore presume it pretty accurate that all 92 are fairly good descriptions of the blessings. I’m sure there are more than 92 and my research continues. (I’d like to hear from anyone in serious disagreement with my conclusions.)
  • The series confirms this lesson in my mind. I, if not readers, am convinced that self-gratitude is the taproot of female happiness. Without it women can’t find enough gratitude in others to be important enough to themselves and thus jump on the road to happiness. For all you unhappy women, bless yourselves by claiming the blessings in this series as descriptive of you. Act on it and you can lift yourself out of the doldrums or misery that you face daily.

Goodbye, ladies, until the next article. But don’t ever forget this series. It’s bedrock for a happy female life.



Filed under feminine

2081. Love: You Can Do Better At It

“Love is the morning and evening star.” Or so Burt Lancaster preached in Elmer Gantry.

Women love to hear love described in endearing terms with magical qualities. But dreams of devotion to the well-being of someone seem to produce too much modern-day weakening of mutual love. Unintended consequences too often seem to follow a woman’s or mom’s best and most lovable efforts. Within both couples and families, loving relationships crumble too easily. Females continue to lose their ability to tame the male beast, socialize men into domestic prospects, and complete their domestication within the family unit. The main cause follows.

The receiver of love expects to see three ingredients that the giver usually doesn’t consider—respect, trust, and like females for who they are; and respect, trust, and like males for what they do. As those are not felt on the receiving end of a woman’s love, it weakens her importance to objects of her love.

When women feel less important to those around them, they try harder. However, she focuses on making herself important, which doesn’t work. Frustrated, she tries harder but it doesn’t work. Seeking to be important causes her to slide into ever less importance to those around her. It’s selfishness personified to try to convince someone of your importance to them.

Her problem: She loves as she’d like to be loved, which means loved for who she is. She loves without thinking or knowing HOW to show love that is appreciated by love objects.

There is a missing link in the closed loop of mutual love. The primary giver has to set the example and women and moms are the primary givers. The missing link is gratitude and successfully showing love work like this.

She finds gratitude for the respectability, trustfulness, and likeability of those she loves. Regardless of age, even with toddlers. With such gratitude guiding her heart, her expressions of love signal that the loved ones are respected, trusted, and liked. That makes them grateful and their feedback conveys that she’s important to them, which emphasizes her sense of self-importance, which enhances her ability to find more gratitude and thus have her love more appreciated.

Thus, gratefulness for all things, which is the road to happiness, empowers her love in ways that expand her importance. The more important she appears on the radar of her loved ones, the more it confirms their self-respect, -confidence, and -worth, which makes them more grateful for her, which adds further to her self-importance, which intensifies her ability to love more believably.



Filed under feminine

2075. Liked or Respected, Which is Best?

Dealing with men or their man, there are two kinds of women. Some seek to be liked and others to be respected. The former learn to live with continuous dislike of themselves; they look back continuously. The latter work to earn respect and behave as if they are respected; they don’t have to look back.

The difference determines how men perceive them by subliminally reading their attitudes. Men believe in and rely on their perceptions, especially what they see. A person’s attitude is the most obvious expression of what resides in their hearts and it’s virtually visible to the subconscious mind of men—though not as good as women read it.

Wanting to be liked works directly against a woman’s best interest. She misses out on being respected, which is the foundation of man’s love. Her attitude reveals a sense of inadequacy, which reveals lack of self-respect, which makes her unable to respect men as they expect it, and which discourages a man’s respect of her. Her begging for attention makes her annoying. Her sense of near or complete desperation scares men away; she’s unpredictable to male eyes.

Seeking to be liked also prompts women to explain themselves, which arises from their sense of inadequacy. They also complain too easily, which is prompted by feeling treated less than they deserve, which is prompted by the need for confirmation of their self-importance. When they don’t get the reactions they expect, both their self-image and self-worth plummet, which prompts more complaining and explaining.

The other kind of woman works independently to her own advantage. She seeks to be respected as a person, woman, mother, and her other roles and in that order. As a person she doesn’t look down on others. As a woman she holds her head high and stands up for herself to men. As a mother she insists that father defer to her as prime leader of her children. As a housewife she determines how and by whom housework will be done. As an employee she determines the value of her work effort relative to her responsibilities at home. And on and on through her other roles.

She latches onto and replenishes her spirit with inborn strengths, such as female modesty, feminine vanity, mirror-enhanced prettiness, monogamous spirit, relative meekness, submissive spirit, and extra respect for those that earn it. All used to get her way in matters dealing with her moral, ethical, and religious standards and expectations for the others around her. She will not win all the battles, but it’s the standing up for herself that wins the wars with each guy including husband.

The respectable woman is a proactive member of the superior sex and can capitalize on it as long as she doesn’t claim that as her inheritance. IOW, as long as men don’t hear it from her mouth.

The self-fulfilling prophecy works in both cases. The harder one woman tries to be liked, the more her self-like declines. She gets feedback opposite to that she longs for. The more the other woman works to sustain or improve her respectability, the more affirming feedback she gets from all men and especially her own.



Filed under Dear daughter

2032. Female Blessings at Birth — 43-45

A NOTE FIRST. Ladies, your interest in these female blessings that arrive with birth seem to be waning. Am I boring you, or is interest in the subject already worn out? Shall I drop the subject?


I continue asking for your agreement/disagreement on the long list I’ve compiled. This is the 15th group of three blessings, and I’m grateful for your earlier responses.

With each item, do you agree that you and other females inherit it at birth? Or, is it something you and others learn later in life? False means that the item is missing completely from your heart, or it’s something you learned during life, or you just don’t think women are born that way.

In case you’re new to this blog or wonder why I compiled the long list of blessings. I hope to close the gaps and shortcomings in the following causes and effects so that modern women can have better lives.

  • A woman’s happiness depends primarily on the gratefulness that accumulates in and shines outward from her heart.
  • Women can only be as grateful for others and things as they are individually grateful for who and what they are as a person, woman, wife, mother, girlfriend, granny, church-goer, encourager, Christian, Jew, American, Korean, employee, and on and on and on…. The key term being grateful for self, self-gratitude.
  • Women will or should be more grateful for themselves as individuals if they are aware of just how magnificently they have been designed, endowed, and energized to be the key players in life and compatible with themselves, others, and especially a lifetime mate.

Where I explain or add following each blessing, I could be wrong. Feel free to challenge me. I’m not trying to be right, just searching for and clearly describing truth—as close as we can get it. I search for the naturally endowed blessings that empower and encourage women to use their irresistible force to override the immovable object of male dominance.

These are the blessings for today.

43. I appreciate myself more when I depend on my modest nature to guide me. [Guy adds: Modesty is as natural to women as aggressiveness is to men. I urge every woman to study and teach daughters out of Wendy Shalit’s marvelous book, A Return to Modesty — Discovering the Lost Virtue. First, modesty is admirable to men simply because such apparently fun-depriving uniqueness is so foreign to their nature. Second, modesty is a woman’s most powerful weapon for getting a man settled into his expected role of honoring female sensibilities, both hers and that of other women. The more she respects her modest nature with affirming actions, the more easily she earns the respect of men, which is the foundation of a man’s love. (Ladies, I regret repeating myself so much, but many readers will be reading this as their first or near-first exposure to such concepts as men love according to their respect for a woman.)]

44. I can touch up my appearance in numerous ways and places and endlessly encourage myself with how pretty I truly am. [Guy adds: A female’s best friend is her mirror image. To the extent that she exploits that friendship, she strengthens her self-image, self-worth, and self-interest. Without a mirror nearby, she’s virtually lost in thought about her appearance. Anxiety about it can make her lose focus on other things, or she can use the mirror to change the subject. With a mirror she can restore confidence, eliminate anxiety, and restore herself to whatever track she was on in any situation. That’s why she’s designed, endowed, and hormonally energized to believe that she’s pretty—it’s her salvation for any tough situation when she learns to use it in company with her compact-available best friend.]

45. I feel better about myself when I dress and act more feminine and less like men. [Guy adds: Women lack the masculine self-confidence that whatever they choose to do is okay within themselves. The spirit of Feminism suggests to women that they will feel more self-confident and like themselves better by duplicating masculine habits in dress and behavior. But it doesn’t work as advertised. Instead, they have to try other more masculine habits, but that doesn’t work either. Consequently, modern women continually feel less than good about themselves. They try harder and harder but the pop culture pushes them in the wrong direction, that of adopting male initiatives, welcoming male dominance, and tolerating excess male aggressiveness. Thus, women wean themselves away from their natural ways of always feeling good or better about themselves, which means they don’t find gratefulness in themselves, which means they can’t find all that much gratefulness in their lives, which means that they move further and further away from ever finding happiness that emerges from a strong spirit of gratefulness particularly for being female.

Example for your response: “45-F ” works okay to reflect your opinion of false to that one item. Also, comments are welcome and desired, especially if you take exception to anything.

Thank you for your opinion. More blessings to follow in a day or two.



Filed under feminine

2016. Female Blessings at Birth — 22-24

It’s the eighth group and I’m grateful for whatever feedback you send.

I continue taking the (currently 85) default attitudes for a test drive and your examination.

Please identify each item by its number and indicate true/false, as you see it. True means that a default item is part of female nature that women inherit at birth. False means that the item is missing completely from your heart or it’s something you learned during life, and so you have no reference point.

Where “Guy adds,” I could be wrong. Feel free to challenge my assumptions.

22. I am worthy of any man but only a few are worthy of me. [Guy adds: Unfortunately, her worthiness is too easily reversible in childhood. Parents are overly challenged and don’t treat children equally as persons but uniquely as boys and girls. It works for the better this way. Fathers pump up their daughters’ sense of self-worth and importance, which girls accept as relative to the source, one man representing all men. Mothers admire their sons’ achievements, which they accept as relative to the source, women. Then, in the romance marketplace, she automatically claims herself worthy and he willingly accepts it as challenge to win her. In the jargon of today, marriage works well with this start-up foundation. He thinks he married over his head and she knows that he did. It springs from natural impulses confirmed before puberty by parents.]
23. I have all the qualities I need to make one man earn me. (However, something inside also tells me I have to work daily to ‘tune up’ those qualities if I hope to keep the admiration of candidates for marriage. [Guy adds: And then, someday, at least one man will see you sufficiently virtuous that he becomes fascinated and devoted enough to see so much promise that he’s willing to yield his independence to capture you as wife.)
24. Something deep inside says I should, so I refuse to accept offenses to my feminine sensibilities. I spotlight my objections with critical words or by departing the scene. (No more f- or c- words, porn, or similar filth in my or children’s presence.) [Guy adds: Female sensibilities are personal. You can’t be wrong, so take action and neither complain nor explain, just act. It’s also a primary method by which women set standards to which men are expected to rise, which is one practice that produces a female-friendly society.]

Example for your response: “23-F ” works okay to reflect your opinion of false to that one item. Also, comments are welcome and desired if you take exception.

Thank you for your opinions.



Filed under feminine