Tag Archives: selfishness

2109. Female Blessings at Birth — #94-95

I have identified two more inborn blessings that women possess in their hearts but may not use enough to enhance their self-interest. At the end of each I summarize the blessing as it appears to others and show the natural reaction of men.

Your comments help and I continue to seek your T or F as each registers within your heart of hearts.

I write each blessing in first person, female.

94. I’m both amazed and grateful that I find it easy to be disingenuous or tell little white lies in order to protect the feelings of those I care for, which can include everyone that I appreciate as deserving of my approval. [Guy adds: Men value honesty and integrity higher in the order of principles because they fit better with what men value most—facts, logic, reason, and truth expressed directly. Women place higher value on principles that encourage people to relate well with each other—feelings, cooperation, and relationship success they can develop. Her blessing: She can get along with everybody. His admiration: How does she do that? She’s amazing!

95. I’m not really happy with myself except as I can make someone else happy. It’s my fulfillment in life but also my biggest and never ending challenge. When I can’t or when I don’t, I find that selfishness has risen in my heart. So, to ensure that my sense of self-importance remains high, I have to keep trying to make someone else happy rather than myself. [Guy adds: It’s a major virtue and makes women much better servant-leaders than men, more effective as the heart of a home than the head, and more effective as informal rather than as formal leader.] Her blessing: She’s loaded with common sense. His admiration: She’s great to be around whether as friend, spouse, competitor, or whatever.

96. (I know there are more blessings, so I await suggestions and inspiration. Target remains set at 100.)

I continue to work on this series. It’s bedrock for a happy female life. Long and intricate just as life is. I have also begun work on blessings that men inherit at birth. First installment should appear soon.



Filed under feminine

2005. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 93

  • Why do women want their man to dress up? Impress her? Yep! Show his devotion? Yep! He acts more appealing and likeable when dressed up? Yep! Those make her feel good, but something else registers higher. Her sense of self-importance must be frequently fed by what others think of her. Consequently, she feels highly important on the arm of her well-dressed man. It confirms that he’s important to her and signals that she’s important to him. He obviously treasures her, since he’s gone far out of his way to look great to be with her. Furthermore, she’s that way on an everyday basis. The better he looks, the greater she shines—daily.
  • Where freedom reigns, as it once did in America, female sensibilities rule the culture. Women indirectly feather the edges around male behavior to make society more suitable for women and children. Unfortunately, men, media, and political activists have watered down female sensibilities with sex education, politics, and porn. Women no longer dominate cultural values, social standards, and domestic expectations. Male dominance has recaptured America today.
  • Selfishness left uncorrected in childhood prevents women from finding gratitude, the absence of which causes unhappiness. They seek happiness at the expense of others, but it eludes them. Selfishness causes men to pursue satisfaction at the expense of others; they become easy to understand but difficult to accept.
  • Religious and political conversions have this in common: One quits living by what they have experienced and starts living by a code that promises who they can be. For example, a Christian is saved, a communist turns conservative or vice versa, or a Christian turns Muslim or vice versa. They adopt a new life based on promises of a better one. But not all of those beliefs are built upon the desire to be a better person for humanity; most are built upon becoming a better member of the group and groups fracture humanity.



Filed under sex differences

545. Singles: Listen Up!

This article has been revised and reissued as #1564.


Filed under courtship

480. What Moms Never Hear —I: Babyhood

Two minds merge at birth, but moms seldom hear this:

©     Nurturing or its lack develops and shapes her child’s self-esteem. How provided and who provides the nurturing determines how the child likes and appreciates Self for life.

©     Father has drives that conflict with nurturing. He’s driven to shape human events, whereas mother is driven to shape human lives. Trying to alter or close this natural gap does so at the expense of infant’s self-esteem.

©     Mother with a good mothering self-image nurtures her baby well. She usually strives to be the main authority, protector, and perhaps exclusive nurturer.

©     Mother naturally does well unless she lets negative feelings—e.g., selfishness, envy, jealousy, overwork, and frustration—slip into her thinking and reshape her nurturing.

©     Mom is the most qualified and prepared to make everything positive and consistently appreciative of infant. Unfortunately, she’s also the most influential for souring a child’s appreciation of Self.

©     A mom’s low self-esteem, unflattering self-image as mother, or detached self-interest as a nurturer can easily interfere with her quality of nurturing. This bodes ill for the child’s self-esteem.

Mom does her best. She does even better, when father is available. For more about her nurturing and father’s contributions see the NURTURING series in the CONTENTS page at blog top.

Details about self-esteem follows at post 481.


Filed under nurturing, Uncategorized

466. Keepers for Keepers—Assortment 15

Dear Daughter: Did you miss any of these?

M The more she immodestly displays her endowments before their first sex together, the more he assumes that she yields relationship control to him. [12]

M Describing workable marriage is simple. Men seek freedom, but wives have to curtail it. Acting more as men do reduces her ability. [17]

M The male nature competes first and cooperates when necessary. The female nature cooperates first and competes when necessary.  [4]

M A man’s greatest fear is insignificance. A woman’s is abandonment. [4]

M Aside from cheating, mom’s easiest and very damaging mistake is this: Focus on children and relegate husband to playing second fiddle. [8]

M A wife that acknowledges and supports husband as head of the house signals belief in him and magnifies his significance more than what else she does. [9]

M A mature woman can cope with her man’s sharp tongue much easier than he can cope with hers. [17]

M A mature woman with a wounded spirit works harder to recover and do better. Immature females seek someone to nurse away their hurt. Men do something to forget it, which may include someone else. [4]

M Selfishness and self-centeredness by either mate add toxins to a couple’s life. It may take years, but the females’ relationship expertise can detoxify most of what arises. But only if she wants to. [17]


Filed under Dear daughter, Uncategorized

440. What daughters never hear — Section 13

♀ Promises of commitment and excitement of love are not the glue of marriage. These ingredients make the glue:

·        Respect and forgiveness.

·        Dreaming about long range goals, setting and achieving short range goals that lead to dream fulfillment.

♀ Too eager by him means meager for her. The more intensely he focuses on conquest, the more eager to make her a dumpee.

Good intentions are no better than the follow through, and worse if they stand alone.

Men grow more fair and agreeable when gratefulness grows for their woman.

♀ Marriage spirals downward from too much shortsightedness, selfishness, and self-interest that outweigh our-interest.

Nature likes balances and tradeoffs. Letting husband rule the roost today enables wife to rule the rooster much later. He focuses short-term, and she dreams long-term.

Men and kids exposed to blame and criticism look for other opportunities and escape.

Put a plan into effect, and it needs continual adjustment—especially the family budget.

♀ Women sense accurately that two men will not knowingly share a woman sexually except when one cuckolds another.


Filed under Dear daughter, Uncategorized

356. Female malpractice — Part 11

♀ ♣  Women get tattoos to dress up or add cuteness to exposed skin, and emphasize their equalness with men. Then, they wonder why more respect does not follow the slight increase in attention they get from shedding their modesty.

♀ ♣  Nagging arises from a heart hardened by selfishness. Not having what she wants, she seeks satisfaction through others.

♀ ♣  Nagging, when accepted by the naggee, perpetuates itself but produces unintended consequences.

♀ ♣  A woman disrespects or criticizes her man in front of others. He resents with silence and responds by shutting down. He’s not good company for awhile, and it should warn her. He’s stewing about it and other offenses, and she’s losing points. Enough points and she loses her license to appear with him, so he starts doing things alone—hobby, business, guy things.

♀ ♣  If she provides the money and home, she nullifies his role to protect and provide, and this makes him insignificant in his eyes if not hers. She cannot be totally grateful for him, and this deflates her potential for happiness. By his not providing their home, it cannot be his castle. Instability plagues such arrangements.

Ten more posts about Female malpractice appear in the CONTENT page in the blog header at the top.


Filed under How she loses, Uncategorized