Tag Archives: sex for pleasure

2869. Typical Male Behavior — 03


A lot of repetition exists in this summarizing series. I do it on purpose to reinforce the importance to those women who hope to understand better the male nature.

  1. Women live according to what their men say and want, except as the smarter woman conditions her man to help fulfill her hopes and dreams. She hears and heeds him in the short term, but she’s focused on the future. He finds her attractive, pursues, and wins her love, but he bypasses the thought that she has unfulfilled hopes and dreams that originate in childhood. She’s free to work on it secretly.
  2. Ever present in background during pursuit, he continually seeks to bed her. She refuses and even rejects the concept without destroying his hope. Her love of him is neither admirable, nor a virtue, nor important to him except as it facilitates conquest. She does best to keep her developing love to herself. Save it until he earns it.
  3. He keeps pursuing and learning about qualities that he admires. Until much later rather than sooner, he finds himself devoted to her such that he realizes she’s more important to him as partner than sex target. He recognizes that he truly loves her when he chooses the latter of these consequences: He’s satisfied with his present life and how he lives, but he expects to be more satisfied living with her, and it prompts his proposal.
  4. Men pursue what’s hard to conquer; they seek to achieve and invest themselves in time, effort, and money to the extent she’s worthy of conquest. Men don’t love as women love. Neither do men recognize and appreciate how women love and expect to be loved in return. A woman expresses her love and appreciates herself for doing it. Her man may or may not derive pleasure or compliment from what she says. If she says it, he takes it more as deserved than admired, and he is that much nearer to conquest. If she doesn’t share her love, it’s not her loss but her gain. He has less knowledge of her to work with, which means he has to work harder to win her.
  5. Modern women have long forgotten the need for religious and moral imperatives to keep men user friendly to women. Both porn and the pursuit of pleasure being the result of a man’s initiatives, they provide the easiest satisfaction about who he is, what he does, and who he does it with. Also, he finds it easy to love ever-greater pleasure, and he seeks an endless path to it. He has little or no need for a woman except for short range involvement.

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2865. Sex for Pleasure, Further Subjugation of Females


A new social tsunami approaches with the potential to make social and domestic matters much worse for females dealing with men.

Masculine-style sexual freedom turns women into sexual victims. It kills the usefulness of their love to fulfill female hopes and dreams. By yielding sex so easily, a man has little or no need for her love to keep him in her life. IOW, a woman’s greatest ability, her love, is reduced to a weakness. It worsens as the tsunami spreads.

The tsunami is pursuit of sex for pleasure, a porn amplifier strongly backed by men and the porn industry. Soon, if not already, it spreads as girls and young women adopt the practice of watching porn. It’s now popular and becoming more so. Soon if not already, it will go viral via social media as have other movements that freed up sexual customs.

Addiction of men easily arises when one seeks more and more pleasure and finds it in a process where character is irrelevant, resistance is minimal or discouraged, and men dominate females to the maximum. Where women forget that respect is instrumental to men loving a woman.

Women lack an understanding of how the male mind works and the female mind is only slightly different. The male mind works like this.

  • When his curiosity is stirred, a man’s imagination assesses whatever opportunity is available. Curiosity stirred by exposure of porn causes imagination to soar with prospects for viewing or participating.
  • One can change one’s mind, or even develop new habits by repeatedly and emotionally imagining something particular. With repetitions over time, it programs the heart accordingly to become new habit.
  • Repeated emotional viewing of porn thus transforms the male heart into habit of more viewing, and the pleasures of sex reprogram his heart accordingly. The result? Programmed porn exposure overwrites sexual urges for normal physical connection with women.
  • Pleasure is never an end, if greater pleasure is available. Consequently, the more porn is watched, the more addictive it becomes as greater pleasure is sought with new and more advanced techniques and options next time.

No one wants to face this aspect of the male nature. Men respect only those who earn it, and yielding to his dominance prevents earning it. When a man pokes his penis first time anywhere in a woman, she no longer can earn his respect with chastity, which is the strongest respect a female can earn. A status change takes place, and she loses. He confirms his domination to self and she becomes dominated and inferior, just as soon as she yields first time.

Oh, men can disagree or claim exception to what I write and they can even fake respect, but it’s not the same kind or degree of earned respect upon which a man’s love can be built and sustained.

It could be an old school ballad, he says he respect you in the morning, but will he love you that night? Your great-grannies knew how essential a man’s respect is to a man’s love.

Each of us has known sex for pleasure, but this social movement is something else. Pursuing sex for pleasure generates greater need for new, more, and different pleasures out of sexual activity. It makes new pleasures the ultimate achievement for both sexes, and the promise of more and better makes it addictive. It applies in both the video and real world.

Women are capable, but is it in their interest to participate with men? Can women find fulfillment in chasing sex for more pleasure, whether video or real? Men would say yes, because they want it. They simply don’t care to understand what fulfillment is to a woman, because women no longer respect their own need for it. In fact, the pursuit of sex for pleasure takes women down a road directly opposite to fulfilling their female hopes and dreams of living life with one man.

If one looks closely at the sex for pleasure environment, one can foresee this condition. Over time, seeking sex for pleasure will have an opposite effect on women.  A woman’s happiness grows out of her gratitude for who she is and what she has. Try to imagine this. In a position designed to maximize pleasure for man but not her, can she find gratitude in herself with what she’s doing? Anal fisting quickly comes to mind.

What can she do about it? She can do plenty, if she wants a mate badly enough. If she wants to be a better person than addictive to sex. If she can change into a feminine creature put together well in heart and mind. IOW, if she can restore herself to living according to her female nature. After all, it’s the only way to get the better of men and earn the superior role due her as a couple.

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2861. Male Fantasy Realized


Another cultural debasement of females slips in under the awareness of Americans. It’s intended to slyly convince more people that sex for pleasure is the primary sex drive in humans. IOW, bring the excesses developed in porn houses into the home, and even women will learn to like it.

In no way do I seek to belittle the pleasure in sex. I condemn the motivational force that sponsors and encourages people seeking sex for pleasure. It’s not the pleasure that damages relationships, it’s the pursuit that betrays the goodness in human character—of which women should have the greater concern about avoidance.

I dispute it. I seek to convince women that it’s egregiously bad news for their gender, female life, and especially to capture and keep a man permanently and fulfill the hopes and dreams inherent in the female nature, to which it’s contrary.

My objection is primarily based on this principle of human life. Sex for pleasure always demands more the next time; what do you think makes porn expand into ever increasing and ever enlarging versions of tools and new orifices to attack? How does anal fisting appeal to females without it being a follow on to whatever went before?

Hooked on pleasure, one can’t get enough and expects more the next time. New tools, new ways, new refreshments, extra sensations, or new sources to exceed what went before. Men lead and drive the bus, but dumb women provide the fuel. Men get what they want, and women don’t realize how their lives are being changed from what they want as they miss the more important things in life. When relationships are dominated by sex for pleasure, the woman can’t achieve what she expects of life.

Actually, the sexes are designed against sex for pleasure. If it were part of our design, our most primal motivational forces would not be so obvious in our behavior. IOW, sex for pleasure, as you will see, is the aberration and not the standard. At birth both sexes inherit other motivational forces that govern their sex lives.

Both sexes are born to get their way associating with others. Women are born to recognize very early in life they have a valuable birthright that men will honor when each woman respects herself deliberately, sufficiently, and defensively against first penile penetration. That birthright difference enables women to get their way with men who are stronger, dominant, and intent on conquest and quick departure. Discretion to participate sexually belongs to each woman, and she’s adequately prepared from early girlhood to capitalize on her own success.

Her side of the “when to yield” puzzle looks like this. Five natural motivational forces energize sex in the woman’s world:

  • Born with a physiological urge to nurture, it triggers the urge to procreate.
  • She has a psychological need to assuage the wants of herself or the needs of someone else, either of which can stimulate her to copulate.
  • Possessing the primal need of self-importance, free will, and urge to get her way, it ignites ambitions to outdo and outshine other women as a candidate for mating. She empowers herself by negotiating sex such that she earns her own uniqueness and the respect of men or man; each man’s respect being essential for his love to arise.
  • She comprehends the worth of sexually yielding to each man, especially the uniqueness and value of their first sexual encounter together. (When she finally yields to one man, he paid whatever price she demanded. He easily convinces himself that he ‘owns’ her, expects not to compete anymore with her, and that she will cooperate with him and his ambitions. It’s the male nature in action.)
  • She needs intimacy, and it is a prime motivator for yielding sex. (Her nature craves intimacy; she can almost never get enough from her man. Especially when her spirits are down, which can be quite often. Intimate touching, fondling, caressing, and sweet words that enhance body closeness fuel a woman’s willingness or desire, which makes it easier to continue deeper into the process to please herself, her partner, or even make an unanticipated mistake.)

The wisdom inherent in the feminine nature empowers women to utilize sex for bonding, generating compatibility, and competing with other women. (Neither promiscuity nor orgasmic pleasure is natural to the female gender. Both arise from lessons learned in life about the urge to feel better or important about oneself, however momentary that may be.)

Those natural urges enable women to think they understand the male sex drive. Not so.

Primal motivational urges energize four versions of the male sex drive. These bring proactive sex into a man’s world:

  • His interest in sex brings females onto the playing field. Without the urge to conquer, women can be ignored.
  • He has a deep-rooted, unchangeable, and physiological urge to copulate with every female he finds attractive and maybe some beyond attractive. (Women witness but can’t comprehend the meaning behind this phenomenal and most primal expression of male sex drive.)
  • He has an instinctive competitive urge to outdo and outshine other men. In response, he seeks to conquer women that other men can’t, enable bragging rights by doing so, and add boaster’s value to virginity.
  • He possesses a steadfast ambition for frequent and convenient access to sex, and he’s willing to pay a high price for it, if and when the right woman coaxes, coaches, and loves him into paying her price.
  • He has an instinctive craving to do something pleasurable with each erection, and instinct pushes him toward penile penetration of a vagina. (Penetration completes his conquest, goal achieved. Beyond first penetration, however, he’s just another sexual performer—good, poor, wasteful, selfish, indifferent.)

Orgasm is not a prime motivator of men. Pleasurable and rewarding, yes, but not a driving force until it’s about to arrive momentarily and as expected.

Those primal sex urges combine to make men compete with other males for females and compete with females for conquest—but for little else afterward. After conquest, he’s beat out other men, he paid her price, and he expects cooperation from the woman he ‘owns’. He refuses to compete further with her. Men reliably find a way out or avoid competing with a conquered woman. Even if she’s a keeper and they marry, if he has to compete with her, she loses much of her likeability.

Why? Conquest changes their relationship dramatically. He used his persuasive interest achieving conquest, in ‘buying her’. IOW, he paid whatever price she demanded. Job’s done; she’s his. Afterward she belongs to him, and he expects cooperation. He’s now free to pursue others. He may lose significant arguments to her. So why take the risk of her winning and his losing the upper hand won with conquest? Men are not dumb; they only seem to be that way because women don’t understand how men are born to be different.

Even though born to be compatible as mates, the sexes differ greatly on matters of purpose, love, and sex. Society and life in it are as peaceful and satisfying as both sexes live according to their nature, the way they are born. Things start to fall apart, when the sexes begin for whatever reason to act like the opposite sex and thus betray their respective nature.

In which case, women lose dominance of cultural values, standards, and expectations. Men run society according to male dominated and female-unfriendly values, standards, and expectations. Neither sex appreciates or respects the other very much, blame spurs anger, and children self-develop to tunes played on the quarrelsome tongues of disrespectful parents, teachers, and adults.

Those primal sex urges combine to make males compete with males for females and compete with females for conquest but for little else afterward. Sex for pleasure as a motivational force curtails and probably ends the female friendliness of sexual relations according to their respective natures.

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2836. Girls Throw Away the Candy Store — 03: Cultural Breakdown


Until about the 1950s, this condition existed in America. Men dominated society, that is, what we all do. However, women dominated the culture, or why we all do it. Women governed the values, standards, and expectations by which all of us lived. (I was there.)

Political, economic, and legal gains by feminazis and their followers pounding on the supposed benefits of equality smashed directly into the social and domestic arenas with horrible effect. Equality is not possible so shouldn’t be pursued in a man-woman relationship, new or married; fairness has to prevail or they eventually separate.

Feminism turned the sexes into enemies, and enemies are forced to respect strength more than performance and mutual benefit, which in social and domestic circles makes women subordinate, if not inferior. An unstable environment exists, and women have been losing and getting the worse end of the deal in the social and domestic arenas for half a century.

In the name of equality, much legal, political, and economic progress supposedly helped women. Where I live, I see plenty of the opposite as the ultimate result. Progress has left women behind in terms of capturing and keeping a man, in finding the money to divorce an SOB. Single moms and other women appear almost weepable in public—lacking in self-respect, self-worth, and self-like—in the face of a future that appears more dim each day, week, or month. Signs of joy are practically non-existent.

Even though women are born as the superior gender, they continue to be suckered by political activists, sex for pleasure enthusiasts, and pop culture publishers and celebrities who promote immaturity and lack of mutual respect in both genders. Women mistakenly let it override their superiority as good people. More later on female superiority.

The American culture disintegrates as trends worsen for women. The result is that male dominance survives and even thrives in background at the individual and political levels and the media promote it publicly. Male strength dominates and the economically lower 80 percent of women can’t stay abreast of the top 20 percent who participate in male dominance games.

Some women jump into the man’s games joyfully in temporary anticipation of riches or special attention. But the majority of women and children are dragged into that spiteful hole of male dominance unleashed by teen girls who let boys convince them that sex comes first. Simultaneously, boys imprint girls with this thought, a girl is not worth much other than for sex, so let’s try some porn.

If women hope to flourish personally today, they either do it alone or under the dominance of a man whose interests are that she not outshine him to either friend or foe. By trying to flourish alone, she foregoes her girlhood hopes and dreams, but many choose it to somewhat curtail the excesses of male dominance. Some even rush confused into playing the dominant games in order to just have a man beside them.

I’ve watched cultural trends for almost seventy years, and this seems to dominate. Prosperity goes down and many women find themselves in worse conditions. Prosperity goes up and many women find themselves in worse conditions. The worse conditions usually appear when they have no dependable man in their lives, which pretty much connects prosperity with fewer marriages.

There’s a funny thing about humans; when they live up to something higher than themselves—e.g., God, parental mandates, moral principles, personal responsibility, own spouse—they become better people. Unfortunately, pop culture ethics include this: No one should want to become a better person for it will make someone else look bad.

Sex is not a higher inspiration, and those who live up to sex for pleasure find themselves where they want to be, but it isn’t in the role of better boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé, or spouse.

When one lives up to sex as higher order of life, all else becomes miscellaneous and secondary. Unfortunately, we are made as humans to chase sex for its own sake. But we are also designed quite able to get around it. That’s how women win, by relegating sex to the background of our lives. Several centuries of American civilization made it work far more successfully for couples than today.

——

NATURAL LAW: The male gender dominates the female gender. The female governs the male on her home grounds.

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Blog 2339. Suggestions for Raising Children — Part XIII


Tactical Parenting: Encouraging Sexual Restraint in Teen Girls

I presume that readers take exception to masculine-style sexual freedom for females. It’s now expanded with a follow-on movement of sex for pleasure in the U.S. It’s now developing overseas into threesomes for one and both sexes and on-the-street connecting up with those known and unknown, which means only a matter of time before the practice immigrates here.

If you don’t like it, your best contribution is teaching girls to avoid teen sexual activity. By avoiding it in adolescence, girls learn that other things are more important than sex and sexual freedom; for example, the ability to keep a husband. It’s then up to girls to teach boys, provided moms and dads teach boys to respect girls as unique and more valuable to men when treated respectfully.

To all moms, don’t preach to save herself for her husband. Teach to protect her heart and mind for herself, so she’s better prepared to handle males and life as she sees fit. A girl well-educated about herself and males knows what to do that’s best for her. She knows how to distinguish sincerity from smooth talk and lies and how to handle each.

Moms can’t be too well prepared to train and uplift girls to earn their potential for the handling of men and a mate. As women go so goes society, and only mothers can get them there. Dads need to encourage but moms do the work.

You may think of the following as too philosophical. However, sound personal decisions are based more on good philosophical underpinnings than on less stable beliefs such as popular opinion. So, I intend to unload all that I can figure out as relevant to moms raising girls to achieve their girlhood hopes and dreams.

Until now, I never realized the endless connections between what mom knows and how to raise better daughters. Sex today interferes dramatically with that process. Moms need more non-sex info and so this series continues to expand far beyond that originally intended.

Female character shapes the values, standards, and expectations that flood the culture and determine how people live in society. When moms focus on teaching about sex, they miss the boat. When they teach about screening males, handling dates, training boyfriends, discouraging players, and especially keeping husbands, they are on target to raising sterling daughters into women with significant influence with men and over boys.

When mom has a better picture of how the male and female natures prioritize and interact, she’s much better prepared to convey the lessons appropriate to each girl’s level of maturity. By puberty the lessons can be complete and a girl’s sense of self-development can carry her through adolescence without too much hurt.

A mother’s judgment is invariably sound when she depends on facts rather than popular opinion. Her biggest burden then is to gain and maintain daughter’s respect for mom’s teachings, which is a matter of self-discipline, nurturing love, not blaming others, and starting with toddlers in the third year.

NOTE: Mom’s biggest challenge is to get the father’s support, backing, and encouragement of daughter to listen to mom, whether present in their lives or not. IOW, mom sorely needs father’s respect to reinforce whatever respect daughter has for mom.

Modern teens are involved in sexual activity after copying adults, so moms have to counter that social movement when they teach about sex in early childhood. It’s tough, but how else can they overcome the political outrageousness of sex-ed in kindergarten unless they start early?

I suggest this plan. Except for basics, discourage interest in sex-education as being promoted. Mom knows better than bureaucrats. Teach beneficial behavior that attracts and holds the interests of males without having to satisfy those interests. Teach girls to make males work for everything they get from girl or woman. Earn masculine respect rather than popularity. Teach independence, teach girls to dislike the popular venues and achieving popularity. They all want to be liked. But they benefit permanently when they are respected. They earn respect when they refuse boys having their way even in the simple things such as copping a feel, kissing without earning it by demonstrating devotion with actions rather than just words, and  specifically by not spreading their legs for any reason.

Men respect what they earn and don’t appreciate what they don’t earn. Free gifts are meaningless, especially sex. And men can’t love who they don’t respect. So, the love of a man depends on how she makes him earn the sharing of her persona with him without sexual involvement.

Girls gain nothing from conquest except they bond and boys don’t. She loses and he benefits immensely: 1) Whatever respect she gained earlier by refusing quits growing. 2) His obligations to please her ‘expire’. 3) He doesn’t have to search any longer for weaknesses to facilitate bedding her; he owns their sexual agenda. She’s a keeper, booty, or dumpee. 4) He’s free to look for someone else.

Moms should stick to family values that glue relationships. Promote strengthening of personal character that emerges from sexual restraint. Describe the unexpected penalties for lack of good character that urges restraint in teen life. Teach deferred gratification and persuade against immediate gratification. Teach the importance of self-gratitude as critical to the sense of self-importance so earnestly craved by the female psyche.

Instead of blaming men for the social and domestic ailments of females, teach the blessings that women brought to American greatness. Men conquered the West, but women civilized it. Through their indirect influence with husbands, American wives morphed two male-dominated religions into our one-of-a-kind female-dominated Judeo-Christian culture. Our country is what wives made it by taming the male nature and husbands into pleasing the women in their lives. Womanly influence is maximized at the breakfast table and pillow talk—provided her man has obligated himself by becoming devoted to her.

It raises the question. What makes him become devoted to her? Answer: Her likeability and his determination to be loyal to her without his fear of being dumped. Devotion builds as he pleases himself for the purpose of pleasing her, and his actions reinforce his feelings for her.

Men need neither religion nor morality; they can and will just fight out their differences. Women need both, which are essential to strengthen the female character, political relevance and influence, and ability to make better men out of their mates—as both better husbands and good examples for other men.

When society moves upward with moral standards, women dominate the culture. When women allow moral standards to deteriorate, society becomes more immoral and men come to dominate values and standards. As that happens, the culture declines and individual marriages are made weaker. Today, they are also made fewer, and female influence fades accordingly.

But notice this. Wives and not single women did it in the past, which means that marriage is critical to supporting a female-friendly society made that way by wifely dominance of cultural values and standards. Single women don’t wield influence over men except as power enables it on the job, but that doesn’t impress men to accept and adopt female value and standards off the job. Only wives can get men to change their ways in the direction of more female friendliness, and it requires a delicate, well-educated, patient, and feminine touch.

What does all that mean for teaching girls to avoid teen sex? How can girls do what’s right for themselves? How can they understand themselves, boys, men, mates, and their promiscuous peers, unless they know the likely consequences of interacting and how to both resist female peer pressure and outsmart males?

When moms teach it well, girls know what to do with it. The more females keep their feelings among their sex, the more mysterious women are to men, which reduces the male’s ability to take advantage, which keeps girls and women in the driver’s seat in their relationships.

I have more on this subject but inadequate time to get it organized and explained with the clarity I seek. Sorry, but the following will be more ‘miscellaneous’ in its identity.

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2255. Interface of Natural Love, Husband and Wife


Her Highness Prettybeans asked me to clarify #818 in article 2253. It says, “You can focus on the big things that hold a couple together—love, friendship, commitment. However, you’ll do better to focus on avoiding, quieting, and suppressing the little unacceptable irritants, fixations, and offensive habits that slowly shred love into bits and pieces.”

The continually linked interface of his and her love in the home is very complex, so this won’t be clear unless I’m up front, blunt, and candid again. I describe two spouses idealized by their male and female natures—as if they were born already married. It won’t match you and yours, but you may be able to figure out how you can use some of the following.

The wife whether dealing with husband or not focuses on love, commitment, cooperation, friendship, devotion, and she hopes to be cherished. Such emotional connections are vital to her. For the most part, she thinks and depends more on words to substitute for actions and to recover from wrongful actions. ‘I love you’. ‘I’m so proud of you’. ‘I apologize’. ‘Oh, you’re so strong’. ‘Man, you look handsome’. The words mean everything to her. She feels good about herself when she uses them. In fact, she benefits more than husband does.

You see, wife doesn’t love husband because he needs it. He doesn’t need her love as she imagines it. He expects her to like him as her mate and be loyal to him and his interests. By their nature, sons and females need her love, and many men in successful marriages learn to need it. Wife loves all of them because she feels good about herself, she makes herself important by loving them. It satisfies her prime motivation to earn self-importance. (When others are grateful for her importance, the feedback satisfies her need for self-importance.)

Husband doesn’t spend mental energy on major emotional connections—love, devotion, relationship, marriage, etc. Those things just exist and he takes them for granted. He doesn’t depend on words to form or convey his feelings but on his actions. It’s another paradox. Husband is direct by character and habit but expresses his feelings indirectly with actions. Wife is indirect by nature but expresses her feelings directly with words. Her words make her feel good and compensate for having to use her reservoir of patience to follow her natural indirectness.

Wife’s words to husband seldom generate his self-admiration, which is the prime motivator of men. Even his own words seldom earn self-admiration except maybe when he wins an argument with his self-proclaimed superior logic and reason. (Or, reprehensibly, when used for immoral purposes as other men often do—players seducing women, manipulating someone, deceiving others.)

A successful marriage is easily symbolized by this analogy. They fit together as two spoons, both literally and figuratively. Wife experiences it in bed literally as the intimate crown on a great life or another great day with him. He visualizes it as two-spoons bonded in life to shape his future and accomplish his ambitions, a figurative representation of what he bought into by marrying her. It’s another God-designed and Nature-endowed paradox. Wife is primarily focused on the future and he primarily on the present. Yet, when he thinks of the future she’s figuratively tucked in nice and neat in his embrace and the present is beautiful. She has the intimate bedtime moment in the present that brightens her future.

Husband takes her for granted. He doesn’t even think about judging wife until she disturbs his willingness to live with the disappointing actions that she repeats. That is, wife does fine until husband objects. Her words of attention, affection, and love are nice but neither motivate nor satisfy him. She feels great expressing them, but he’s not nearly so energized by them. He judges more her negatives than her positives. The latter he takes for granted because he earned them by giving up his independence. The former remind that he did or may have made a mistake marrying her, and his mind should never get to thinking in that direction. (It switches on his ‘achievement meter’ to do something about it.)

Neat and well-functioning castle, her eagerness to get him in bed, ability to capture and hold friends, ability to mother kids successfully, her smiling countenance and pleasant demeanor. Those a man appreciates; those and many more similar actions confirm her words about the ‘big things’ of love, devotion, etc.

Husband considers home a problem-free zone except for those involved with his personal responsibility. Wife problems are not his; he married because she is so capable.

As to the little things that she should focus on avoiding, preventing, and recovering, the following merely start a list. She complains all the time about every little thing. Never smiles. Sourpuss. Always late. Words don’t match her actions. Smirks at others’ faults. Won’t or can’t cook. Won’t keep the castle clean enough. Can’t nurture kids out of their bad times. Nags him. Won’t accept her responsibility but expects others to fulfill theirs. Reminds constantly about honey-do list. Counts on someone else to recover from her mistakes. Shameful personal appearance compared to courtship. Is very moody. Anger spoils family togetherness. Let’s frustrations control her life.

Within each item on that list are connected daily actions that irritate, confuse, and offend husband. None disqualifies her, but having to live with repeated episodes of just a few is enough for husband to start thinking about life without her.

Of course, wife is entitled to live her life as she sees fit. The point here is merely that husband makes judgments about her actions. Each complaint is an action. Each frustrated outburst is an action. Each smirk is an action. Failure to smile when teased about sex is a disappointing action. Letting kids have their own way is action. Alibis and explanations are accepted more as words than actions, which means they are essentially ineffective to convince husband that wife is right or justified.

So that I don’t confuse, I summarize by reducing all of the above to two concepts over which wife has control—her love and husband’s disappointments. The more her actions reflect love, the more likeable she is. The more her love is weakened by things that disappoint him, the less likeable she is.

Husband’s love is founded on respect and begins with his loyalty to wife because she’s so likeable to him. As her likeability diminishes, guess what happens to his love. And that, dear Prettybeans, is the essence of keeping a family together. He hangs around her for the loving and loveable actions that she uses to spread pleasantness and joy of living around his castle. Her reward comes from harmonizing relationship and family around those things that make her likeable to both herself and husband. IOW, she enables herself to feel good about herself from her actions rather than depending on her words.

Yes, successful wife plays to husband’s expectations by using her interpersonal expertise, natural adjustability, sense of survivability, and almost musical ability to orchestrate harmony in both relationship and home. It’s another paradox. She gets what she wants just by keeping him from getting ticked off all the time, which INDIRECTLY programs his heart with how lucky he is to have her.

But a word of caution. Wife can easily overdo it. If she’s too submissive, too much a lap dog to his desires, too weak to stand up for herself, too unwilling to risk losing him, then her actions take her in the wrong direction. She may still be likeable, but she loses husband’s respect, which is the foundation of masculine love.

I know you think I put by far the heavier burden on the wife. But consider this before making your final conclusion.

  • Wife’s nature empowers her and programs her heart to do what men can’t do.
  • Marriage was developed to enable wife to brighten her future with husband in the most reliable way for longevity and probable success.
  • Her natural adjustability and survivability enable wife to overcome the weaknesses of husband that work against family togetherness and longevity.
  • Husband, being primarily a producer, is great at accomplishments. But wife, being primarily a processor, is best qualified to integrate manly accomplishments with the unexpected changes in the process of married life.
  • Either members of the superior gender flex their feminine strength in order to balance the dominance of the other gender, or male dominance over time works inevitably in the direction of enslaving women.
  • There are two conditions required to contain male dominance within a suitable balance for fairness between the sexes, marriage and the absence of unmarried sex.
  • If wives don’t dominate the culture, society follows the lead of male dominance. Morality and religious values are the mainstays of feminine leadership in cultural values, standards, and expectations for society. It takes feminine and wifely leadership to convince men to live up to someone bigger than themselves, specifically God, wife, children, country, culture.

Love, commitment, friendship, cooperation, devotion, and cherished females do not achieve their worth in society until and unless women convince men to live up to someone bigger than themselves. Only wives have enough access to and influence with the male heart and mind to achieve it. Men disappointed with their wives lose interest in doing what wives want and expect.

I hate to end on that sour note, but modern women are making it happen. Unmarried sex discourages marriage and without marriage we don’t have enough wives to change the direction of America. When sex for pleasure prevails, marriage fails.

Whatever comes of country and marriage in the future, the key interface will be that between male and female love as God designed, Nature endows, and hormones energize. Bless you ladies for carrying on to preserve what went before and used to protect women in the U.S. better than anywhere else in the world or in history.

I kind of got carried away, ladies, and covered too much ground in one post. Unfortunately for you, it’s not the end of either my writing or personal weaknesses.

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Filed under Dear daughter, How she wins, sex differences