Risk of STD can be reduced by medical testing before a couple has sex. It can provide a safer route. However, it has a huge disadvantage. If a woman insists her fiancée be tested before they marry and he carries STD, he’ll more likely find a way to not do so or he’ll find another way to break off the relationship. She just wasted a relationship investment. She needs an ‘early warning’ message to prevent investing so much of herself with so little return on investment.
For women that favor STD testing before marriage, I suggest this strategy. The first time the subject of sex comes up in dating or courtship, strike while the male mind is most open. Just as a passing but indelible thought disclose that testing for STD has made things so much safer for everyone. Plant the seed that she will never yield to anyone not having passed medical testing. Make sure that he will never be surprised if and when she asks for him to be tested. If he has STD, he will interpret her message that he will one day be tested and found wanting. Convinced of that, he won’t stay around longer than to prove to himself that she means exactly what she says. (She needs to plant the seed repeatedly but delicately and indirectly. Don’t preach as if she knows it all. Hint, hint, hint, ….)
Both sexes want to know before they have sex, but neither wants to disclose it. The only realistic solution lies with what’s already happening today. In the gangster rap of my childhood movies, “Nobody tells nobody nuttin’”. Everyone takes the risk and handles the consequences. Forgiveness and forgetfulness are powerful recovery weapons.
Finally, I caution women to not rely on trust of a man to prevent STD. Go with known facts and acceptance of likely risk. If a woman is betrayed after putting total trust in a man, his passing STD to her becomes an unforgivable ‘crime’. Even though he remains good enough for her, the betrayal of trust will haunt their relationship far longer than the STD.
To summarize, both sexes want to be informed before they are exposed. However, the pressures of self-interest, social norms, heat of passion, and their different natures turn both sexes away from disclosing their STD status until it’s too late. And so, STDs spread, mutate, and spread further.
I close with this opinion. As long as women spread masculine-style sexual freedom for themselves, experimentation and STDs spread into the lives of little girls and it happens earlier with each generation. That’s the real crime of the sexual revolution.