Tag Archives: she tries too hard and loses

2702. Minimize Risk of Husband Cheating — The Why


Q. What should wives avoid to keep husband at home?

A. Avoiding the wrongs described in earlier posts and below tend to satisfy husband with himself. As wife keeps husband satisfied on home matters, he has less interest to be out searching. By focusing on only two objectives, she can build a daily process that tends to keep hubby faithful. 1) She keeps him satisfied with her and who she is to him. 2) She keeps him satisfied that living with her beats his other options. Guaranteed to prevent cheating? Nope, but it reduces the odds magnificently and emotional infidelity even more.

Here are some more female actions that work contrary to a husband’s expectations.

  • Belittling, criticizing, or condemning who he is or isn’t, what he does or doesn’t do, or why he’s unable to earn her gratitude makes her unlikeable as mate and suspicious of her loyalty to him.
  • Loss of her likeability drives a man to find someone more likeable. It’s proportional. The more unlikeable she becomes, the more he yearns for someone more likeable and newly loyal. It’s the most satisfying outlet to restore satisfaction with himself for living his life with her.
  • Trying too hard to please him or not to fail in their relationship, she doesn’t stand up for herself and loses his respect. She appears unlikeable. Finding the right balance of respect and trust that satisfies mutual likeability is one of her greatest marital obligations.
  • Doubt expressed about his loyalty to her, children, or their relationship casts her doubt on his likeability. Seeing himself viewed as unlikeable interrupts or casts doubt on his satisfaction with himself living with her.
  • He presumes from her complaints that he’s somehow responsible or she wouldn’t be complaining; she would take care of it. Or, perhaps, she complains about something in which he has no interest. He reads it that she doesn’t understand him, seeks to relieve her tensions, or makes herself feel good by unloading her multitude of thoughts. It confuses him, leaves him ignorant of what to do, because he can’t read her feelings in the way she reads his.
  • Husband sees wife as jealous or envious of other women. When her distrust of his loyalty is obvious, it reduces her likeability.
  • Husband and wife differ on what’s said and what’s intended versus what’s heard and what’s taken to heart. Women prefer full disclosure about matters of mutual interest, but husband’s interest is much more narrow and it frustrates her. Gratitude is the mother of female happiness, but frustration is the father of female determination to make things different, which causes wives to change or seek to change him, either of which disappoints a husband.
  • Her love of him is a major ingredient for holding her tightly in marriage. However, it’s never enough for him. Satisfaction with himself is more important than her love. The more she depends entirely on words rather than actions about her committed love, the less impressive or convincing is her likeability.

She has both an instinctive and intuitive ability to detect her man’s inner feelings and know how to alter them, how to convert dissatisfaction to satisfaction with her and their life together.

And if she says ‘why’? He isn’t worth it. Why should I do all the work? What about me and my needs? Well, if he isn’t worth it, she vetted him poorly or she treated him such that he or she or both have become less likeable.

Moreover, which of her needs outweigh keeping her man? As she changes to satisfy herself, she becomes a woman he did not marry. Men don’t change after marriage, but women mistakenly expect they can make it happen. Women change after marriage, although men expect that they won’t.

By keeping him satisfied with her and living together and without his even thinking about it, he concludes that he’s satisfied with himself in marriage, which confirms that his decision to propose they marry was the right thing to do. He also concludes that living with her is superior to living by himself or with someone else. It discourages his thoughts of cheating. His conclusions result from her actions more than her words about loving him.

2 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, Fickle female, marriage, The mind