Tag Archives: single mom

2837. Girls Throw Away the Candy Store — 04: What’s a Girl to Do? I


Sorry, gals, this isn’t very friendly reading but you may find it useful. It’s more a working document.

Quit doing these things: Females are notoriously wrong trying to turn their situation to personal advantage. Here are thirty-four things not to do or females do wrong; no candy here.

  1. She takes offense at her man’s claims that he owns her. That is, she’s his, period, or he expects to leave soon. It’s not her but his nature; if he can’t own something he probably doesn’t want it unless it’s extra appealing and he has to pay just to have it available for his use.
  2. She thinks that she understands men, but she’s not even close. It’s not that a man is more complex than pursuit of sex, he just won’t waste time with a woman for whom he has little respect and no interest in her other qualities, aka virtues when he admires them.
  3. She acts more like a man, which makes her less likeable as a female.
  4. She presumes that she’s virtuous just because of her beliefs or behaviors. (Virtue in a woman is a quality that one man admires, nothing else. Men seek to marry a virtuous woman, so she’s only as marry-able as one man admires qualities in her.)
  5. She competes with men for sex rather than competes with women for the best man (who’s only identifiable by his willingness to forego sex to win her).
  6. She shacks up more easily, as if she’s better off that way. Temporary may have an economic or other advantage but it doesn’t brighten her long-range future.
  7. She tries to be less feminine, when men appreciate femininity for its uniqueness.
  8. She’s far less modest and mysterious, when both modesty and mystery have a holding power on men.
  9. She eagerly deals with men who are less trustful and dependable. Because she doesn’t compete effectively with other women for manly attention, she has to take leftovers.
  10. She ignores the feminine neatness, goodness, and cleanliness that reinforces the female as a stronger, or at least unique, person.
  11. She’s less interested or financially unable to promote her prettiness, which takes away manly interest.
  12. She’s much more likely to accept being a single mom.
  13. She’s more promiscuous out of apparent necessity to attract man or men.
  14. She attracts men for sex rather than for herself.
  15. She values her sexual assets more highly than her strength of character, which is the long term opposite of what makes men admire a woman.
  16. She has little ambition to be a better person; her teen beliefs gratify her sufficiently that she needn’t change.
  17. She bonds with a couple’s first sex together and wrongfully expects the same out of him.
  18. She values today more than her future, which conflicts with her man’s priorities.
  19. She dresses for comfort rather than adding to her attractiveness.
  20. As a teen girl and later as single mom she presumes no responsibility or interest for teaching boys how to be romantic and affectionate.
  21. She provides more sex without obligation in the hope it will work this time.
  22. She competes with her man after she yields first sex to him.
  23. She finds ways to blame men for her social and domestic problems.
  24. She lets herself become less wealthy as woman, wife, and mother and poorer in general except as she’s able to keep her spouse devoted to her.
  25. She’s not grateful for who and what she is, and so her path to happiness is blocked.
  26. She measures her worthiness by what men or a man thinks of her.
  27. She refuses to find comfort and pleasure in herself, and so turns to others to frequently lift her up.
  28. She should reject following the pop culture value system; reject the whole basis that men come first and females are only good for sex.
  29. She should get it out of her head, having a baby to capture a man is stupid to start and foolish in the end; single moms finish on the unhappy side of life.
  30. She should forget one night stands as the way to get a man, much less keep him.
  31. She should quit thinking that in present-day happenings, she should be able to overrule him. His dominance is particularly attached to the decisions he has to make now and today, not next week, month, or year. That’s the female’s domain.
  32. She refuses to let men dominate conversation with sex subjects; she throws marriage into the convo.
  33. She mistakenly thinks that vanity is not good or not for her. Other than vanity, what stimulates a gal to appear more attractive?
  34. She is unwilling to change in order to improve her life. What she has is what she deserves, but it’s a drowning attitude.

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Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, How she loses

2160. Dating in Mid-life — Part B4: Risk Takers Win


 Older men respond much as they did when younger and sometimes easier than expected. After all, their present and future life appears much different than decades earlier. I know of these stories from my personal life, but the times are not as precise as depicted.

  • Widow for 25 years meets widower of several years. They date for more than a year that includes several long distance trips. Travel always includes two bedrooms. She rejects marriage because his isn’t saved, and she rejects sex because they aren’t married. Unexpectedly, my Grace leads him to the Lord and they marry soon after.
  • Mature never-married woman has one grown child long out of the nest. She meets older man fixing her PC. They date but she refuses sex until they marry. His interest continues. He becomes eager to marry after a year or two dating and traveling and using separate bedrooms. He also changes his religious affiliation to match hers. (I don’t know if denomination change was a requirement of hers but I strongly suspect it was as she had years earlier left his church.)
  • Twentysomething single mother with baby son is shacked-up with adultolescent and irresponsible father. Fed up, she kicks him out. Lets him visit son regularly and refuses all overtures to make up or remain overnight. No sex, period. After more than a year of living apart, he proposes with the confession he cannot live without her. They marry and now live happily in second or third decade of marriage. Husband grew into an emboldened and mature sense of domestic responsibility and initiative. Successfully started his own business, and they raised their son to become Eagle Scout. Mostly by himself, he built their home in the country after clearing the woods and ground. Rough-hewn life by husband for his family, but her love smoothed it all out around the edges.

Risk takers succeed everywhere. It’s all in the know-how that flows quite naturally out of the well-prepared hearts of females.

Next: Factors that cause men to pursue conquest and marriage tomorrow at #2161.

 

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1994. Self-gratitude—Guilt and Self-respect


Whether girl or woman, bachelorette or single mom, live in or wife, each lives with an abundance of guilt. Men can and do, but women can’t get rid of it. To some degree women feel too guilty and it languishes for years before fading from their hearts. However, they can ease it and I encourage women to neutralize it at least and overwhelm it at best with self-gratitude.

(Just guessing but I suspect it works something like this. Each woman has a full load that she carries all the time. New guilt displaces the least significant.)

Unfortunately, susceptibility to guilt eats away self-respect, so women need a stronger character foundation. Their nature provides it, dedication to themselves as vital to those around them. But that requires less guilt and some self-respect. Consequently, women need to continually both offset the former and reinforce the latter. The answer lies in habitually using the dresser mirror and the habit of deliberately spending time there. Out of mirror time comes less guilt, more self-respect, and reinforced self-gratitude. All of which enable dedication to themselves as vital to others.

Details about mirror use are coming soon. In the meantime, reviewing these related articles, 1003 and 1291, may fill in some blanks I leave behind.

 

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