Tag Archives: sons

565. Response to Viewer — Item 11


I dedicate this series to Her Highness Katrinka. She asked “Why is it so hard for fathers and sons (specifically grown sons) to be close?” I cite the father mostly, but mother plays a more critical role than included here:

  • Being of independent nature, men receive no reassurances from being close to one another as women do. So closeness has to be generated over time.
  • Father and son compete as do all men. Their competitive relationship forms in the tweens and solidifies in the teens.
  • Men don’t change much, unless they get saved. So, how they get along in early compete mode determines how they relate later.
  • Leadership can vary greatly, but absence of both respect as a person and trust that matches maturity level breeds an unwilling follower.
  • Throughout childhood, hold him back and earn his scorn. Help him along and earn his desire to belong. 
  • When father pays little or no attention to son’s upbringing, mother has too much influence. She’s reflects or expresses disappointment in father to the son, and he takes up her offense. 
  • Helicopter mothering prevents son learning from mistakes and failures. It leads to lack of both self-respect and self-confidence, which conflicts when father has those traits to spare.
  • Mother elevates son over father; she treats him as adult rather than child. Son shows no respect for father, because he learned he can be equal while acting like a child.
  • Trust and respect for father can easily be killed by son’s bio mom and bitter ex-wife of father, especially when son is in the tweens living with her. 
  • A son continually aims for independence, declares it, and expects it without argument soon after puberty. If father fights and suppresses this drive along the way, bitterness arises and follows later in life.
  • When father leads uncertainly, unpredictably, distrustfully or with whims, temper, and anger, then son’s disrespect grows proportionally.
  • If father suppresses son’s growth toward independence, son resents hell out of it and bitterness may well follow for life.
  • If father lets son outcompete father in decision making, repeatedly outwit or beat down father to get or do what son wants, or let’s son get too independent too fast for his britches, disrespect develops and lasts for life. 
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54. Her Majesty, hard-hearted—Section 2


Note: Men are born hard-headed and hard-hearted. Women are born hard-headed but soft-hearted. Oftentimes women harden their heart. Poor results dealing with men usually follow:

♥ She marries expecting him to change. He marries expecting her not to change. He does not, but she does. Both get what they don’t want.

♥ She treats her man as a domestic regarding household tasks—all orders and few decisions left to him. This adds to a sense of insignificance for him, his greatest fear.

♥ She exhibits poor leadership by telling her man HOW to do things instead of WHAT to do. She wants her nest made more perfect in her eyes, so she uses her standards to deny his imaginative inputs or direct interest.

♥ She takes charge after marriage and keeps squeezing him to fit better into her ideals of their home and life within it. He resists, resents, and retaliates the more she keeps insisting.

♥ She considers his machismo and the male ego to be ‘crimes against females.’ This signals her preference for a wuss and so she treats her husband accordingly.

♥ She turns phony and hides her true character in order to get a man to marry her. Afterward, she reverts to her true self and to him becomes a different woman—one he did not intend to marry.

♥ She rejects him as family hero and elevates the kids over him.

♥ She expects him to husband her with no tradeoff for his having given up his freedom.

♥ She treats his opinions as less important and judgments as less valuable than that of someone outside their home.

♥ She gives birth to a less-than-normal child, or has one die, and goes to extremes to provide care or assuage her grief or guilt. In the process she devotes herself to the child or memories at the expense of her husband, thus making him insignificant relative to her grief and perhaps guilt. She cannot forgive him or her. That is an extra-hardened heart.

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36. Her Majesty, hard-hearted—Section 1


Note: Men are born hard-headed and hard-hearted. Women are born hard-headed but soft-hearted. Oftentimes women harden their hearts. Poor results dealing with men inevitably follow:

She doesn’t like herself very well, so others are also undeserving. This defines the hard hearted female.

She does not teach her sons to keep zippers zipped as the way to teach boys to respect and honor the female sex.

She gets in his face for which she will pay a price somehow, somewhere, sometime. Not as revenge, necessarily, but as male response to female aggression.

She harbors and displays feminist feelings that do not interest her man, mostly because Feminism disdains his manliness and even ridicules his masculinity.

She ignores a man’s strengths and downplays his value for producing, providing, protecting, and problem-solving for family life.

She kisses a frog, neuters her prince, rejects him as royalty, and generates hassles in their hut, because she is unable to make it his castle.

She shows ungratefulness for her man and blames him for her unhappiness, when one’s happiness is the mirror image of one’s gratitude and unhappiness the absence of gratefulness.

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19. Her mushy thinking—Part 1


Men are born hard-headed and hard-hearted. Women are born hard-headed but soft-hearted. Oftentimes women go soft in their thinking. Mushy, that is. Poor results dealing with men usually follow:   

She believes in little, so she tends to believe in anything. This defines her soft headedness.

She accepts a man’s words instead of taking time to test and judge his actions.

She believes too easily what men tell her, and so she falls for offers that favor his interests over hers.

She cannot separate a good man for marrying from a man good for fun and games.

She cannot turn away from the self-centered man full of himself and venomous words that parboil her self-esteem, reduce her self-image, and subvert her self-interest.

She disregards or fails to exploit the character shaping and guidance provided by God, religious morality, and her female nature.

She dresses daughters in adult-like, fanciful, and erotic attire to make herself look good as a modern pop culture parent. She exposes her child. A sex recruiting poster for both the stepfather and males inclined to stalk, rape, kidnap, and murder.

She has learned little in her life about the nature of males and females and less about how to make them complementary and compatible—even if she were to try.

She wants her own man so badly that she signs up with almost any male offer.

She wants to build and maintain her castle through him but not for him.  She thinks ‘equality’ with household work and child care is not only attainable but sustainable to her man’s liking and acceptance. 

 

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