WWNH: Working on her inner self will be more productive than trying to improve husband. She can surround him with an improved HER.
One regular reader said, “My boyfriend told me ‘I’ve been sweeter lately’. That’s a pretty big deal. I’m so excited he noticed.” Sweeter means her attitude shined more brightly in ways that he appreciated. Right?
How did her attitude change? I don’t know about the reader specifically, but women can sweeten their attitude by changing their view of their Self. Men have no natural drive toward being sweet, but husbands can sweeten their attitude by associating with a sweeter person and wanting to please that person.
Women can generate a lot of ‘sweetness’ easily, but men won’t or don’t see it as strength for them. I cite four ways to make herself sweeter for herself and husband.
- She likes herself better as a person; she decides and reinforces all by herself that she’s more valuable to herself than she’s accustomed to thinking. (Reading this blog helps.)
- She pictures herself as a better female, woman, help-mate, lover, encourager, and wife. When her shortcomings come to mind, she imagines they’re fading and will soon be gone, and then reinforces how much better she is now than she used to be. (Again, I send Einstein to the rescue: “Imagination [of what you can be] is more important than knowledge [of whatever you are].”)
- She becomes more dedicated to caring for husband and making their life better together. She accepts responsibility to do the work without expecting compensation or recognition. (After all, it’s her marriage to maintain, since men don’t think relationships need maintenance. Also, for example, sweetness, lightness, and playfulness can reshape a relationship without getting the man directly involved.)
- Or, there’s a simpler and easier way: Invite Jesus Christ into her heart. This automatically does all of the above plus a whole lot more. It costs nothing and the payoffs never end.
On that promise of earthly blessings and heavenly bliss, I end this series and pray that it helps those in need of recovery for their marriage.