Tag Archives: togetherness

2139. Compatibility Axioms #641-650


  1. Commitment is a two-way, negotiated exchange of obligations. Devotion is one-way verbal and physical communication aimed at inspiring two-way dedication. [222]
  2. Commitment is made with words. Devotion is observed through actions.
  3. Commitment promises togetherness with her. Devotion shows that she’s cherished and he’s dedicated to her. [222]
  4. Commitment may promise physical fidelity. Devotion promises emotional faithfulness, because she’s worth too much to lose. [222]
  5. Commitment signals she’s worthy enough for him at least for now. Devotion signals that he needs her with him for the long term. [222]
  6. Commitment’s promise of togetherness may last or not, because only time and future tell. Devotion to her lasts because his dedication shapes both time and the future on her behalf. [222]
  7. Commitment fades under daily pressures that eat away at promises and weaken togetherness. Devotion of himself to one woman triggers a man’s nature to provide and protect against life’s pressures; dedication determines his duty. [222]
  8. Promises require no cherishment of her at the present. His devoted actions and sacrifices show that she’s cherished. [222]
  9. Commitment leaves room to blame her for togetherness problems. Devotion bonds him more tightly and inspires him to blame everything else rather than her. [222]
  10. Commitment has no obligation to excuse his woman’s mistakes. Devotion finds excuses to forgive and forget her mistakes. [222]

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306. Sex and the fickle girl — Part 14


  When a woman concludes that men are only after one thing, it’s because she offers too little else.

  Women generate their own unhappiness. A woman focuses on her man’s negatives, which worsen precisely because of her attentions.

  Booty call: The screwing she gets for the screwing he gets. Duty sluthood costs her much more male respect that she can ever imagine.

  College girls major in booty for reasons incomprehensible to any father.   

  Capturing a man is easy. Keeping one is not. The burden is on her. Her nature seeks togetherness, and his seeks freedom.

  Virgin girls believe they won’t get dumped if they yield. Actually, to men, the more his buds have tried and failed, the easier she is to dump, unless he’s really into her other strengths and attributes.  

  It’s self-fulfilling: A wife blames husband for his faults. Accused men defend themselves by disproving the evidence presented. Debate amplifies his faults into failures in her eyes. He gets worse.

  Women abandon femininity, modesty, high moral standards, and other female strengths just to have a boyfriend they can’t keep, because of what they abandoned.

[More about sex and fickle females appears in posts 291, 259, 246, 229, 216, 201, 184, 170, 160, 148, 137, 93, and 34. Scroll down or search by the number followed by a dot and space.]

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246. Sex and the fickle girl—Part 11


♀ Modern women let the need to have boyfriend override common sense. His commitment promises togetherness that remains open-ended.  

♀ Women that talk endlessly when with a man cannot also be mysterious. Unless, perhaps, if their jabber stays impersonal, which it seldom remains.

♀ Women make the institution of marriage of, by, and for women and children. Husbands are left out once children are born. Men don’t play second fiddle and remain with that orchestra.

♀ Women tossed away femininity and the social construct of the lady to make room for feminist theory and spirit. Men fake, sidestep, and b.s. around whatever they face to access sexual partners. They wonder, but not too much, why women traded female strengths for masculine weaknesses in order to deal with men.

♀ Wives win this way: Before marriage he proves through devotion that he’s worthy of her; he earns her hand. After marriage she proves herself worthy of him; she maintains his devotion.

♀ When a woman diminishes or weakens showing respect and gratitude for her man, she earns his disrespect. This shifts her away from marital sainthood and positions her for disposal to the ex lane.

[More about sex and fickle females appears in posts 229, 216, 201, 184, 170, 160, 148, 137, 93, and 34. Scroll down or search by the number followed by a dot and space.]

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230. Newlywed Bonding #2 —Virtue as glue


Newlywed life should not be about surviving storms, but learning how to dance in the rain. The dance instructor is virtue. Her gown is adorable femininity. His tux is admirable manliness. Dance shoes are their characters. The dance floor is home.

Daily pressures threaten every home. ‘Virtuous behavior’, as defined in this and future posts, glue a marriage by overcoming daily shock and awe. Couples make it happen, if they identify and dedicate inside defenses against outside threats.

The first and most important defense is this: Live up to things bigger than spouse, self, and even togetherness. This puts each spouse on the right road to virtuous behavior in the home.

Two strategies enable it: Worship God first, honor spouse second, and rank self as next in line. Belief in this ‘chain of command’ solidifies emotions around what’s most important to each spouse.

The second strategy is this: Create a series of principles and rules that lead to goal achievement and squabble prevention. Three arenas are the most vital: respect, money, and teamwork.

Each will be described in future posts. Not as advice, but as concepts that can work. Not as requirements, but as options for newlyweds to choose and use as they see fit.

When a couple can define and adhere to standards and expectations of their own making —aka virtues—then they breed complementary, cooperative, and compatible behavior. It’s the essence of marital glue and the driving force behind hopes and dreams.

[This newlywed series starts at post 224. Scroll down or search by number with dot and space following it.]

 

 

 

 

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229. Sex and the fickle girl—Part 10


♀ Women can access sexual relations at whatever speed, frequency, and convenience they desire. Men can’t. So who wins when women adopt masculine-style sexual freedom? Who loses as enabled men flit blossom-to-blossom?

♀ If she can’t risk being dumped to slow his inevitable conquest, she’s highly vulnerable to being dumped later.

♀ Modern women rely on sex, hope, and loving affection to bond their future with a man. But short relationships show it doesn’t work very well.

♀ Women don’t just want men to bond. They want a husband as bond servant to help with housekeeping, child care, constant togetherness.

♀ Women dress their young daughters like hookers and allow adolescent girls to dress likewise—even in church. Pastors stew in near silence. The Marrying Man looks for someone else. Respectable fathers shake their head in exasperation.

♀ Women are not hunters by nature. Yet, some abandon the female persona, hunt with erotic attire, and offer sex with little obligation. When they fail to enjoy life as men do, ennui and depression set in.

♀ Women expect to kiss a frog into prince hood. Men expect their woman to elevate them from prince to king. Modern women fail to provide this second ‘promotion’.

 

[More about sex and fickle females appears in posts 216, 201, 184, 170, 160, 148, 137, 93, and 34. Scroll down or search by the number followed by a dot and space.]

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224. Newlywed Bonding #1 —Intro


Marriages deteriorate more easily and become temporary, than they solidify and become permanent. Deterioration requires little else than inattention, sloppiness, carelessness.  

Solidifying a marriage requires a lot of shared goals and planning to sustain mutual respect. Making the process habitual in the early years produces desired results later. (Grace and I didn’t get the shortcomings of our early marriage straightened out until our third decade together.)

First impressions last, and early marriage sets the stage for whatever follows. Jointly built successes bond a couple. Failures, weaknesses, and even good intentions do not bond and can smother love to death.

Consequently, newlywed success depends on preventing relationship harm. That’s where forming good habits comes in. It requires mutual devotion—not just commitment—to build new habits that stamp out premarital bad habits that lead to deterioration.

This Newlywed Bonding series covers four beneficial habits that chase bad habits away:

1.     Virtue as relationship glue

2.     Money as relationship slave

3.     Separate but equal as teamwork

4.     Custom as dispute avoidance

The first good habit will appear in a few days. The Table of Contents at the top lists many subjects pertaining to living successfully with someone of the opposite sex.

NOTE: A nice and classy young lady, Tricia, inspired this series of posts. I pray her pending marriage matches her public pleasantness, charm, and sense of responsibility.

 

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222. Female dominance: Gone! —Part 6


Females succumb to male expectations and standards, which lower their value as mates. They accept commitment instead of taking time to generate a man’s devotion.

⌂ Commitment promises togetherness with her. ♥ Devotion delivers his dedication to her.

⌂ Commitment only promises to rule out other women. ♥ Devotion delivers it, because she’s worth not losing.

⌂ Commitment signals she’s worthy enough for him. ♥ Devotion signals she’s more than worthy for him.

⌂ Commitment’s promise of togetherness may last or not, because only time and future tell. ♥ Devotion to her lasts even though living together may not happen.

⌂ Commitment dies easily under daily pressures that eat away at promises and togetherness. ♥ Devotion of self to one person triggers a man’s nature to provide and protect against life’s pressures.  

⌂ Promises require no work at the present. ♥ Devotion exhibits personal sacrifices today.

⌂ Commitment is a two-way, negotiated exchange of obligations. ♥ Devotion is one-way verbal and physical communication aimed at inspiring two-way dedication.

⌂ Commitment leaves room to blame her for togetherness problems. ♥ Devotion bonds him more tightly and inspires him to blame everything else before her.

⌂ Commitment has no obligation to excuse a mate’s mistakes. ♥ Devotion finds excuses to protect one’s mate.

⌂ Promises make only vague and risky commitment, as females see it. ♥ Women crave someone’s devotion.

Commitment is infatuation, lust, love, or maybe empty words. The only proof lies in the absence of breaking up.

Devotion is observable. He courts her delicately and doesn’t push too hard for conquest, because he’s afraid of losing her.

NOTE: She did it again. The nice lady that inspired post 219 also inspired this one.

[More on the shattering of female dominance appears at posts 209, 194, 173, 159, and 151.]

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