Tag Archives: trophy

2126. Mirror Time — Part IV: Trophies Also Fail


People presume that society rewards good looks. They decide and judge for example by paying attention only to slim, blonde, blue eyed trophies who luck out where others fail. The presumption is wrong, however, and it leads many women to lose faith in their natural strengths, deviate from their best interest, and often become female phonies or masculine in behavior.

Society rewards success and likeability for making others feel good about themselves. Consequently, your prettiness made prettier adds mayo to society’s sandwiches.

Even a woman with unattractive features can be successful and likeable, if she first builds success at the morning mirror. Purposely, she turns herself into a dynamic person by teaching herself to like herself very much just to start her day to her advantage. Painting the barn starts it best. Even trophies fail when they don’t like themselves very much (probably because they take their prettiness for granted and don’t otherwise and repeatedly convince themselves of their self-worth).*

What makes you pretty? Your looks or how others perceive you? The answer is neither. It’s what’s in your heart about you being top dog in your world but with rightful respect for others and their roles in your life. Let the following help squeeze out wrongful impressions.

  • You’re born pretty, so daily prettiness arrives when the mirror satisfies you for having done enough to optimize it. If you haven’t seen a mirror for a whole day, can you convince yourself that you remain pretty? How about two days? You know you’re pretty, but you just can’t be all that you expect to be. And so you act as though you’re not pretty enough. Self-confidence flutters, self-worth declines, and your dynamic influence fades from lack of belief in yourself.
  • Men complete goals and are satisfied. You are quite different. You are satisfied ONLY when you look as good as you expect to look at any given moment.
  • When you start the day unsatisfied with your appearance, you start an unhappy day. To reverse that, satisfy yourself by prettifying yourself to your satisfaction. That day will brighten.
  • To prettify yourself to please others pushes you into unknown territory where you lose control of your ambitions. You imagine or assume how you will impact them. It pushes you to prettify yourself for unseen and unpredictable targets. Each day you look for confirmation of your expectations, and the absence causes dissatisfaction in your day. People just don’t want to conclude what you expect.
  • Trying to shine yourself up for others also weakens your sincerity. Phoniness flows from it. Who knows how far you must go and where it will end if other people continually fail to meet your expectations? They leave you dissatisfied, so what can you do? Mostly you’re lost.

Women are born convinced of their prettiness, but they need daily and routine tune ups. A pleasant day starts for you when you satisfy yourself that you look your best. After much practice and continual adjustments to stay up with whatever improves your appearance and reinforces belief in yourself, you learn to satisfy yourself easily.

Daily uplifting of your prettiness opens the door to finding self-gratitude, which opens the door to finding gratefulness elsewhere, which earns happiness and enables a more pleasant and potentially successful life.

Life is built on habits, good life on good habits, and I propose a tough habit next.

——

*Maxwell Maltz, for many years a plastic surgeon to the upper class, claimed that he operated on many women to improve their appearance; they didn’t like themselves. Not one was uplifted or satisfied afterward. Most liked their new appearance but got no improvement about liking themselves. [Guy adds: Self-esteem, -image, and -worth come from your heart and not appearance. Your complaints about your appearance register and weaken those personal values residing in your heart. Positive reinforcement programs your heart to be more appreciative of self. Mirror time focused on your prettiness teaches you to focus on improvements, which ends complaints, which makes you a more self-believable person in your heart. Belief in self comes naturally to men and they confirm it with daily accomplishments. But not women. They get belief in self from what they tell themselves; they have to confirm it regularly, and the mirror is the best starter and most reinforcing place. The next post, 2127, will test your patience, belief, and more.]

 

2 Comments

Filed under Her glory

1939. Compatibility Axioms #251-260


251. Born hard-headed and soft-hearted, the former serves women best before marriage and the latter afterward. Her hard-headedness stimulates competition. Her soft-heartedness contains patience that fuels cooperation. [109]
252. A woman’s sexual history affects her man’s sense of significance whether she knows it or not or accepts it or not. [111]
253. If he won’t honor her values, standards, and expectations before conquest, he likely won’t afterward. [113]
254. Conquest convinces him that he’s worthy enough for her; he need not try harder. She’s left to prove  that she’s more worthy for him but without her greatest ‘convincer’. [113]
255. If he won’t romance her before they get into foreplay and intercourse, he likely won’t learn to do it for their future together. [113]
256. Courtship works best when he’s the seller and she’s the buyer. He convinces her of his worth. [113]
257. Marriage works best when he’s the buyer and she’s the seller. She convinces him of her worth. [113]
258. A woman thrives on a man’s devotion but too easily forgets that it arises from what he does for her and not what she does for him. [113]
259. If she yields sex to him, she should expect conqueror’s rights to kick in. First, he’s convinced that he’s worthy enough and can stop chasing her. Second, he takes charge of their sexual agenda. [113]
260. The harder she is to conquer, the more trophy-like she appears to him. [113]

Leave a comment

Filed under Dear daughter

344. Ties that bind, or not! — Their fears


Self-interest motivates everyone to do what they do. Immature men make life tough, but the mature woman has the natural expertise to overcome.

 

She fears abandonment. She fears losing him above all else, whether killed, incapacitated, or a walk out. Abandonment strikes her ego as well as her heart.

 

She expects him to overextend himself, as necessary, to provide reassurances. The devoted husband sacrifices to avoid torturing his loveable wife with continual fears that weaken her appreciation for him.

 

He fears insignificance, and her eyes reflect it first. Her lack of respect and gratefulness makes his sense of significance decay. Wounding his spirit can be terminal.

 

Even slight decay can jumpstart motivational forces in him. He seeks to restore his sense of manliness—more independence, expensive toys, trophy woman, or just walk out. Mid-life crisis worsens whatever he chooses to do.

 

He doesn’t necessarily expect it, but ‘smart wife’ becomes head cheerleader for who he is and what he does. She also adds each child to the cheerleading squad.

Leave a comment

Filed under sex differences, Uncategorized

308. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 18


♂?  The male nature tends to take a female for granted. Using the virtual virginity strategy prevents her being taken for granted before marriage. Ensuring that his devotion goes beyond mere commitment minimizes her being taken for granted after marriage. Does he like, love, or cherish her? Without the latter, relationships easily shatter.

♂?  A man dumps his wife of many years for a trophy. He seeks to start over and build a new kind of marriage. He seeks a new sense of significance, which he lost with his ex. He now knows how to do it and can raise a new child. Especially with a mother young enough to provide most of the care and submit to his dominance more pleasantly and less challengingly.

♂?  The longer she puts off having sex with him, the greater her worthiness to be his wife for life—as he sees it. Men will deny that, of course, but her refusals in spite of his maximum effort register as greater respect for her deep inside him.

♂?  Men escape being parented when they leave their childhood home. They won’t accept it by a wife and especially not in front of others.

♂?  Men are more likely to take relationships for granted than their women. Relationship just is what it is. It needs no active maintenance. That’s his nature.

[More jack about Jack appears in posts 292, 274, 249, 232, 217, 202, 185, 172, 162, 153, 142, 135, 132, 114, 97, 91, and 7. You’ll get close if you scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following.]

2 Comments

Filed under sex differences, Uncategorized

161. The high cost of cheap sex—07


Women spend their lives hoping it ain’t so, but unmarried sex leads ultimately to split up. Women fail to respect, tame, and overcome the hormone hurricane nature of men. Women face many hazards.

1.      When she provides him with frequent and convenient sex for anything less than marriage, to him she cheapens herself, the institution of marriage, and their relationship.

2.      Sex attracts a man, but it provides her with no holding power over him. What bonds her does not bond him. This reduces the attractiveness of marriage for him.

3.      Conquest releases him to conquer someone else. It doesn’t mean he will toss her aside right away, but it dramatically lowers her sex value relative to unconquered women. He shifts toward temporariness; after their first sex together, his hormones take over and focus on other options. Of course, it’s not fair.

4.      Romantic love fades in a year or two for them both. Infatuation and lust fade sooner. Each fade-out further lowers her value to him as sex partner. So, even if he stays with her that long, relationship ennui sets in. When men have boredom problems, they seek excitement.

5.      After a few months or years she’s aware of relationship problems, blames him, and expects him to meet her expectations. Blame pushes him into defensive mode to prove her wrong. She thus violates her relationship management expertise; he starts looking for other options.  

6.      The availability of cheap sex outside the home makes cheating more attractive, and he’s not burdened with vows. Perhaps he’s burdened with verbal commitment, but that has the stick-together strength of neither devotion nor vows.

7.      The lack of marriage vows eases his conscience. It enables rationalizations and relieves guilt when boredom becomes overbearing, some gal seduces him, or a start-over trophy appears on the scene.

8.      Since sex does not hold him, she needs her qualities of character, femininity, and soft-heartedness to hold him. He learns subliminally about these strengths and qualities while looking for weaknesses to get her in bed. Conquest dramatically slows his learning about her attributes.

All of this is centered around sex, which is the theme women have to downplay and overcome to keep a man.

Marriage before sex adds the best insurance. She loses dominance of their relationship after conquest. He takes control of their sexual agenda then, or else he departs. So, she loses influence one way or him the other.

When she insists on holding out for marriage and makes sure he gets exposed to and appreciates her other strengths and qualities, she can win his devotion. The kind that holds a man closely. It doesn’t mean she will keep him forever, but her odds improve dramatically.

She dominates the relationship before conquest. He dominates it afterward. The dominant partner leads, and the other follows. The longer she dominates, the greater her influence after conquest.   

 

5 Comments

Filed under courtship

137. Sex and the fickle girl—Part III


Wives cheat on husband and expect him to respond as women do. It does not work. When he cheats, she wants to know. When she cheats, he wants to go. This difference steers women into trouble. 

Ώ Women should be but are not haunted by this question: Does a younger thing attract a man away from his wife, or does his wife lose her ability to hold him, or does she drive him away? Women automatically blame him or his new trophy. Wives are always innocent, victimized, and flooded with peer empathy and sympathy to restore emotional letdown or breakdown.

Ώ Conquered women lack the allure of attractive unconquered ones. She may be a good lay or good wife or both, but the attractive and unconquered still attract him. To hold a man’s devotion, a woman must compensate for his giving up freedoms. Instead, modern women view as unfair this inequality in Nature. Thus, they lose focus on their natural abilities to capture and hold onto one man.

Ώ Successful marriage requires relationship management expertise. Women qualify as experts, but men don’t. Men are more culprit than polished for that.  Masculinity steers men toward other conquests and away from one woman. It takes an expert’s best efforts to overcome his hormonal urges. Once again, life ain’t fair, but women need men more than the reverse.

Ώ If a man acts as though he will not honor a woman’s desire to withhold and delay his conquest, then she has not imposed her dominance sufficiently well to quiet his. She’ll do better to back off, take a slower approach, and make him invest himself more deliberately—or just put him back in the parade.

Ώ The female gender has made itself politically, morally, and socially entitled to masculine-style sexual freedom. It’s a major cause of so much trouble keeping a man’s devotion. When many women act sexually unattached, wives too easily become suspect in the eyes of their man. He knows what other men are after. Can he be sure she’s different from other women? Consequently, casual sexual practices of the sisterhood poison faithful marriages.

[More about the fickle girl appears at post 93 and 34.]

2 Comments

Filed under Fickle female, Uncategorized

113. Sex is iffy.


When fascination, infatuation, lust, respect, and love fade for a woman, men resort to character and nature. Women usually suffer consequences with roots in their first sex together.

The male mind set comes in all shapes and sizes. But, like women, they have their own set of expectations. Unfortunately for women, masculine expectations lean toward conquest more than relationship stability. That’s evident in the way men change after conquest of a woman.

If he won’t honor her values, standards, and expectations before conquest, he likely won’t afterward.

If he won’t make himself worthy of her before conquest, instead of her becoming worthy of him, he likely won’t afterward.

If he won’t romance her before they get into foreplay and intercourse, he likely won’t learn to do it for their future together. [See post #33, ‘Romance Gap’ is all about her.]

If he’s the buyer and she’s the seller before marriage, look out for the dump that’s likely coming.  

If she’s not the seller to his buyer role after marriage, she’s likely qualifying herself for abandonment.

If she expects his devotion, remember that it arises from what he does for her, not what she does for him.

If she yields to him, she should expect conqueror’s rights to kick in. First, he takes charge of their sexual agenda.

If she expects to be a big trophy for him: The harder to get, the bigger the trophy.

If she expects her feminist leanings, attitude, and political expectations to override his natural masculine behaviors, her value to him will diminish over time.

If after they marry she waters down her help, support, gratitude, and encouragement for who and what he is, she may also want to research where the local exes recovery group is meeting. 

 

5 Comments

Filed under courtship, Uncategorized