Tag Archives: vows

2485. Friendly Reminders — 04


  • Expecting Mr. Good Enough to make himself worthy of her creates relationship glue. The drawn out habit-forming process should have no precise rush or goal for her; just enable him to develop his worthiness. If marriage results, it will be his idea or it likely won’t last. The prove-his-worth glue should help her harmonize their togetherness (unless, of course, she assumes another persona after marriage).
  • Men can’t duplicate God’s unconditional love, but they can show the earthly equivalent. That is, unconditional respect for individuals, especially those that reveal they don’t deserve it. (Strictly by the male nature, men only respect those who earn their personal respect.)
  • Men are slow to adapt, but they follow for better or worse the moral and religious standards exemplified by women and especially their woman. (Men like for all women to live by the same values, standards, and expectations that are elevated above masculinity. In the past, men morphed into gentlemen in the wake of women who styled themselves as ladies. It makes women more mysterious, unpredictable, and not understandable. All of which makes them more attractive to men, when their inside attractiveness uplifts their outside appearance.)
  • Projecting gratitude and respect reflects on hubby as her dependence. It  makes wife more valuable to him, even though she proves herself relatively independent in harmonizing the home.
  • Professing psychological need of a man—‘I can’t do without you’— weakens her case to keep him. She acts too possessive. He’s neither pleased nor capable, and he dodges it until she gets sickening about it. Then he departs.
  • These multiplex ingredients blend into maximum marital glue. Her likeability reinforces his significance. In his eyes he’s a better man for having her. His significance reinforces her need for a brighter future. She’s a better woman for having it brighter. Without those connections intensely exchanged, other single ingredients can be insufficient, e.g., love, respect, affection, vows, dependence.

 

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319. The high cost of cheap sex—13


Cheap sex to males means no permanent obligations. The easier the conquest and escape, the cheaper the sex.

·        Cheap sex turns mature men into teen-minded boys. The things women consider vital have much less value to adolescents—personal responsibility, faithfulness, marriage, family, dependability, truthful promises of commitment, reliable pledges of devotion, adherence to vows.

·        By cheapening sex, women cheapen themselves. Relatively, this makes males more powerful, dominant, independent and, therefore, valuable in society.

·        Males made more valuable force women to compete with each other, to make themselves more worthy for men. Hunks profit from quiet patience, as women fight over them. This reverses the natural way of men competing and making themselves worthy of a woman.

·        Sex outside of marriage gets ever cheaper as men grow more dominant relative to women. More eager to look elsewhere even when committed to someone.

·        Unmarried sex doesn’t provide what men naturally seek in a woman—if he’s to be permanent in her life. So, he has little sense of permanency. This makes him unreliable for faithfulness to her.

In the final analysis, men do whatever women require for frequent and convenient access to sex. And, unmarrried sex requires no loss of independence.

[More about high costs of cheap sex appears in posts 284, 226, 207, 190, 171, 161, 149, 138, 99, 84, 39, and 2. Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following.]

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280. Female Fortitude—96 through 100


These ‘fortitudinals’ provide special themes or summaries. Numbers match previous posts.

96.     She always appears more respectful in the eyes of men that cannot conquer her. A man’s love is built upon his respect for a woman. 

97.     A man’s devotion to wife and marriage are not the same. The former is based on his heart, his feelings for her. The latter is based on his mind, values, principles, vows, and his word—to the extent that he honors such things.

98.     Younger women and their imitators primarily use skin to make boobs attractive. It works. However, men imprinted with thoughts about sex bypass focusing on her other qualities. Sex moved to the back burner moves men to chase her for herself instead of sex.

99.     Pop culture promiscuity reinforces to females that males are only after sex. Chastity teaches women that men are more interesting than that.  

100.   When marriage is less than absolutely essential to a woman, her boyfriend is miles ahead of her in avoiding it.

[Previous fortitudinals appear in posts 275, 270, 265, 260, 255, 250, 245, 240, 234, 228, 213, 203, 199, 186, 182, and 176.]

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277. The Fun Syndrome


Updated and republished as 2230 Sex for Fun Ruins Women for Marriage. Original comments below can’t be relocated to new posting.

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245. Female Fortitude—61 through 65


These ‘fortitudinals’ provide special themes or summaries. Numbers match the posts.

61.      If they’ve not had their first sex together, he hears, he heeds, and he modifies his behavior in whatever way he thinks will advance his agenda for bed time together. Long sex-free courtships accumulate more of his habitual changes that help fulfill her hopes and dreams.

63.      Morality serves women much more than men. If a woman fails to live within and uphold a self-imposed strong moral code, she can expect mistreatment by men.

64.      Some women discourage manly devotion by providing cheap, uncommitted sex. Other women inspire manly devotion by delaying a man’s conquest until he wants her for much more than sex.

65.      The two-year glitch arrives quietly as romantic love fades away in a couple’s second year together. Both undergo transformation. If an enduring kind of love has not developed mutually, separation is not far off.

[Previous fortitudinals appear in posts 240, 234, 228, 213, 203, 199, 186, 182, and 176.]

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224. Newlywed Bonding #1 —Intro


Marriages deteriorate more easily and become temporary, than they solidify and become permanent. Deterioration requires little else than inattention, sloppiness, carelessness.  

Solidifying a marriage requires a lot of shared goals and planning to sustain mutual respect. Making the process habitual in the early years produces desired results later. (Grace and I didn’t get the shortcomings of our early marriage straightened out until our third decade together.)

First impressions last, and early marriage sets the stage for whatever follows. Jointly built successes bond a couple. Failures, weaknesses, and even good intentions do not bond and can smother love to death.

Consequently, newlywed success depends on preventing relationship harm. That’s where forming good habits comes in. It requires mutual devotion—not just commitment—to build new habits that stamp out premarital bad habits that lead to deterioration.

This Newlywed Bonding series covers four beneficial habits that chase bad habits away:

1.     Virtue as relationship glue

2.     Money as relationship slave

3.     Separate but equal as teamwork

4.     Custom as dispute avoidance

The first good habit will appear in a few days. The Table of Contents at the top lists many subjects pertaining to living successfully with someone of the opposite sex.

NOTE: A nice and classy young lady, Tricia, inspired this series of posts. I pray her pending marriage matches her public pleasantness, charm, and sense of responsibility.

 

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211. Dark Side of Feminism—Part 15


     Feminism conflicts with two natural principles of American behavior. First, the male sex does whatever the female sex requires for men to have frequent and convenient access to sex.

Second, men react to how women treat them. Men treated as they wish to be treated rise to help fulfill female hopes and dreams. Men treated otherwise become what individual females can’t appreciate; they fulfill unmanly but masculine hopes and dreams—toys, parties, girls.  

Feminism inspired women to treat men disrespectfully, because men refuse to step up to the feminist model of what men should be as developed by radical political activists.

It worsens. Feminist-inspired lower standards for men to have access to sex frees up men to conquer more women. Women expect a man’s commitment to be error-proof, but female sisters bait and tease his natural urge to merge.

To compensate themselves but reward men, women declare and practice masculine-style sexual freedom. Women keep lowering the bar for access to frequent and convenient sex, and then blame men for easier jumping. Blame delivers mistreatment.

Looser customs free up men to hunt and conquer. Lowering standards for sex causes women to mistreat men, because men don’t live up to female expectations. Mistreatment causes men to easily tire of or become discouraged by one woman.  

Feminists lowered the drawbridge to sexual freedom, first for men and then for women. So, men have to do little to access the good life of many conquests.

Women buy into feminist theory and dogma. They disrespect the male gender but expect to be respected as females, wives, lovers, shack ups, link ups, hook ups with call ups, and even friends offering benefits. Men continue to mostly respect feminine mystique, female modesty, self-protective standards of morality, female-centeredness, feminine uniqueness, family cohesion, and niceties and gentleness. Men don’t possess such qualities, but they like to associate with experts that specialize.

[Other posts about the Dark Side are 196, 180, 168, 157, 146, 134, 129, 123, 103, 92, 71, 50, 47, and 23. Scroll down or search by the number and then click the title.]

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