In the course or writing this series, Guy Jr. sent me emails from our early correspondence and questioned if my interest in him was not evident much sooner than I realized. I found it interesting that what he was reading and interpreting from those exchanges was something totally different from what I was saying, even though I repeatedly referred to us as friends. In our communication we even talked about dates we were going on with others. So, when he began to see one woman in particular on a fairly regular basis in the weeks leading up to my first visit to his hometown, I did not expect what was about to transpire.
As he said, the first weekend was fun. I met some of his friends and spent time getting to know him in his environment. There were awkward moments when he would try to push his agenda of “us” that I had no desire to encourage and I bluntly told him so. Several times when he made innuendo, I would warn him to “be careful, don’t get so involved with me, we are friends.” He’s a smart man. I was fairly certain he understood. When he invited me to the party the following weekend, I was sure we would have a great time.
But there were pointed emails and texts that occurred between us during the week before my next visit to attend the party. It turns out that Guy Jr. thought it quite humorous that his friends were talking about my last visit and “enhancing” the details to inflate Guy Jr.’s macho, sexual image. Even though Guy Jr. did not participate in these “inflations,” I certainly was not amused when he shared some of them with me.
In fact, I was horrified to learn that 1) these things were being said, and more importantly to me 2) that Guy Jr. was doing nothing to ‘defend my honor’ and set the record straight. Serious and heated communication led me to question his integrity and character, which then caused him to become defensive and lash out at me. We both lost sight of our friendship and became intent on defending our individual positions. I was ready to cancel my trip for the party and I would guess he would have been happy to never hear from me again.
In the midst of this, surprisingly, we were still sending music back and forth, and although I didn’t realize yet that he believed each song I was sending held a “message”, his male brain was interpreting everything as such. Incredibly, as he told me recently, there was one song I sent that night (I had heard it at the end of a television show and thought it was beautiful) and the unintended message he perceived actually led us to more rational exchanges, perhaps an agreement to disagree, that put our friendship back on friendly terms. Never underestimate the power of lyrics of a song that can sometimes say something better than you could ever say alone.
My visit for the party was back on.
What Women Never Hear 
wow!