- “But, if men are getting their worth and value from a woman, then he’s looking in the wrong place.” [That Horse Is Dead at 2203]
- “Incidentally, I have come to the conclusion that femininity protects itself – the more committed I am to conducting myself like a lady emotionally, mentally and physically, the more I want to protect that lady and maintain those high standards. What a profound discovery.” [Prettybeans in email to Guy]
- “As THID says, the solution is a steady conviction to chaste singleness and if I may add to this, ultra femininity.” [Prettybeans at 2203]
- “We need a major revival of chaste single women to get things back on track.” [That Horse Is Dead at 2203]
- “If I were ever in a position to seek a mate again, I would strongly consider dating (chastely) lots of men until the day I had a ring.” [Miss Gina at 2271.]
- “Women really are designed to bring out the best in men and most of us are the happiest when we are engaged in this task. In the modern world there is a great deal of political correctness messing things up, but for the most part what really makes us happy, what fulfills us, is to be pleasing to a man and to actually desire to support and encourage him. This is not a one sided deal of servitude, we really do reap huge dividends ourselves, it is a pleasurable and complimentary arrangement.” [Insanitybytes22 at 2286]
- [Context: At 2231 Guy posted this as #5: If you have little or no interest in making yourself clean, neat, and attractive just to pick up your spirits, why do you expect men to take a liking to a missing feminine spirit? Jen fired back.] “#5 is something I’ve firmly believed and adhered to my entire life! It is so, so true, though many of my female friends refuse to or cannot believe it. Alas, they are also missing out on the confidence and thus better mood gained by making themselves look the best they can. No, we cannot all be model-gorgeous, but Doing Our Best To Look Our Best is truly mind-changing…and that alone might end up changing the course of our lives. Such a very simple concept sounds absolutely bonkers, but it’s also absolutely true.” [Jen at 2231]
- “That really speaks well to the differences between men and women. Sex simply means something different to each gender and I think men tend to fear they will be compared to someone else or replaced or weighed and measured. A extensive sexual past can make him fear that he will someday get passed over in favor of another.” [Insanitybytes22 at 2273] – [The last sentence is the height of male insignificance. Guy]
- “Perhaps what makes a woman so attractive as she puts these attributes [Her Jewels at post #59] in concert with her life is that suddenly she has become extra-ordinary: very good at doing ordinary things with grace, kindness and a flair that is all her own. What a pleasure to read this blog! [Princess Jessica at 59] [
- “‘As women go, so goes society’ this is why the Cultural Marxists encourage feminism because, through corrupted women they can indirectly corrupt men and children too, and bring down the traditional family &c. And the corruption in much of the Manosphere (along with Male Feminists) proves that the strategy has some effect.” [Eric at 2203]
Tag Archives: Femininity
921. It’s self-fulfilling: A wife blames husband for his faults. Accused men defend themselves by disproving the evidence presented. Debate amplifies his faults into failures in her eyes. He gets worse. 
922. Women abandon femininity, modesty, high moral standards, and other female strengths just to have a boyfriend they can’t keep simply because of what they abandoned. 
923. When a man senses that a woman finds him attractive, his nature tends to take her for granted. Using the virtual virginity strategy prevents her being taken for granted before marriage. Ensuring that his devotion goes beyond mere commitment minimizes her being taken for granted after marriage. 
924. A man dumps his wife of many years for a trophy. He seeks to start over and build a new kind of marriage. He seeks a new sense of significance, which he lost with his ex. He now knows how to do it and can raise a new child. Especially with a mother young enough to provide most of the care and submit to his dominance more pleasantly and less challengingly. 
925. The longer she puts off having sex with him, the greater her worthiness to be his wife for life—as he sees it. Men will deny that, of course, but her refusals in spite of his maximum effort register as greater respect for her deep inside him. 
926. Men escape being parented when they leave their childhood home. They won’t accept it by a wife and especially not in front of others. 
927. Men take a relationship for granted. It just is; it needs no maintenance. Four ‘switches’ determine its health and whether he loves her or not. She’s loyal to him or not. He’s likeable to her or not. He’s loyal to her or not. She’s likeable to him or not. 
928. People respect those who are different, unique, and powerful within themselves. Her power thrust in his face offends, however, whereas well-controlled internal strength is admired and considered a virtue. 
929. Hook up but no call? Shack up but no joy? Married but no peace? Then she better change herself, because men don’t or won’t. 
930. Women are the relationship experts, men go along and expect a smooth and maintenance-free ride. 
This posting has multiple purposes behind it.
First, I’ve taken the liberty of giving the term ‘feminine’ an operational definition, which means to always presume this context: Men decide what is feminine and what is not. Specifically, feminine includes any and all those female behaviors that appeal particularly to men as qualities that make a woman a good candidate for marriage, i.e., at least satisfactory to live with. When I use feminine, conquest is left out. Feminine makes a woman attractive as potential wife. Sexual attractiveness makes her a potential bed mate. This definition matches how the male nature works, how it guides men to perceive females two very different ways—attractive for conquest aka targeted and attractive to live with aka feminine.
Second, two concepts matched with two distinctly natural behaviors seems to fit together this way.
Men have two major motivational forces regarding women. 1) Foremost is conquest. Feminine as defined and used here doesn’t apply to the conquering process. The man seeking to conquer will effectively disregard or forgive any faults a sexually attractive woman might have. 2) Recognizing they are not equipped by nature to sustain a relationship, men nevertheless seek to provide/protect those for whom they are responsible. It energizes them to produce, which leads to self-admiration, possible satisfaction, and probable significance. The male nature aims men directly toward fulfilling responsibility as they sense it belongs to them.
Other than in conquest mode, the male nature consists of these motivational forces: Men do things to earn self-admiration until satisfied. That’s when they pause or stop such as daily after work or after completing a project. When responsible only for themselves, they can’t achieve much significance and realize they discredit their potential and their significance doesn’t grow. As the result, men learn early in life that fulfillment comes with greater responsibility, because that’s where they can earn the most satisfaction. (To be sure, some boys are inhibited from accepting responsibility in childhood and some men get fearful and back away from it. Both are lessons learned and not intrinsic to the male nature.)
Those two motivational forces put these pressures on women. Regarding 1): Conquest is a one-on-one competition; every woman is directly responsible for her future. Neither conquest nor subsequent sex bonds a man. Consequently, a man absorbs and accepts no sense of responsibility out of his conquest. Without feeling responsible, men don’t do what others expect or can count on.
Regarding 2): Women intuitively accept responsibility for relationship, marital, and family development and sustainability. They instinctively sense that men won’t or can’t. Each woman’s primary task is to persuade a man to be responsible for her and whatever follows in her life. Make him like, enjoy, and find satisfaction being responsible for her and children and he rises to meet his potential, greatest satisfaction, and most significance. (That’s all a woman has to do; piece of cake, right ladies? That’s why you’re a member of the superior gender, so you can more easily mix, bake, add icing, cut, and serve the cake of making one man feel responsible for more than himself.)
Consequently, either women fish with bait that keeps a man feeling responsible to help fulfill her hopes and dreams or women proceed with unrequited love. Feminine, as I use it here, is the proper bait to seal a deal with a man who is willing to accept responsibility for her future of blessing his ambitions.
Third, Some Other Guy made a major addition to yesterday’s article. He describes another enemy of feminine mystique that takes a man’s interest away from living with a woman:
“Complaining about anything even if it is not regarding your man is poisonous to the energy of the relationship. Sure we all have those off days every so often. But every single day? … I cannot overstate how unattractive some wives make themselves when every interaction is filled with ‘I don’t like this and I don’t like that and this thing is broken and why don’t you do this and how come you always do that and why is my mother being such a terror’ and on and on.”
Fourth, having many leftover thoughts from the 2243 FEMININE article, I post them here. Pardon the simplicity of merely spotlighting what are sometimes complex behaviors.
Good habits enhance FEMININE. The more of these the merrier.
These habits tend to support feminine thoughts in the minds of men. She keeps faultfinding to herself, speaks softly so that everyone listens more closely, avoids turning people off from being attentive to her, wears sincerity on her sleeve, hides anger while others burst out, dislikes boozing, dislikes gambling, sees humor in children playing, uplifts moral standards, considers permanent marriage the ultimate female goal, subordinates sex to marriage, makes mealtime family time, loves everyone until they prove unworthy, finds solace in intimacy, believes her man is the greatest, agrees first and persuades later, believes the opposite of ‘full disclosure’, believes firmly in prayer, has no oddball interests, criticizes behavior rather than the wrongdoer, considers sex a very personal and private matter, thinks highly of the male gender, thinks low of men who offend the female gender, favors fair over equal in making judgments, never forgets important things, shuns direct competition except with those who threaten family stability, loves to cooperate/collaborate and unify people, lives up to someone more important than herself.
She teaches children to respect adults, convinces sons to respect females, and teaches and protects daughters against unmarried sex.
She is always composed, anxious to birth and raise children, distinctively modest, excellent judge of when to be serious or humorous, easy to laugh but not at other people, not a spendthrift, and grateful for herself and others for their meaning in her life.
Only death or grief stamp out her lightheartedness. Her mystery attracts people. Her mature adult values make her decisions highly consequential and she indirectly gains influence.
Bad habits limit FEMININE. The more of these the poorer.
These habits tend to weaken and wipe out attractive thoughts in the minds of men. Loud, noisy, raucous, easily upset, lacks composure, doesn’t respect authority figures, heavy drinker, duplicates masculine behaviors, expects her feelings to govern each situation, lacks self-respect, explains herself continually, complains about others, tries to outdo men, blames men, blames anyone, looks for and finds faults in others, works hard to be liked, uses sex to get her way, likes marriage but doesn’t expect to pay a heavy price to get or keep it, micromanages the household and everyone in it, perfectionist by habit, thinks either she or he is a plaything, adolescent-mindedness shows in her decisions, won’t lead but rejects his leadership, gets in his face over incidentals, can’t stand to lose, unwilling to forgive, easily reminds others of past mistakes, not particularly grateful in spirit, elevates sex above marriage, not interested in what her man does, bad mouths husband to girlfriends, embarrasses her man in public, contradicts hubby in front of others.
Fifth, since this series is an exploratory effort, I could use feedback from you ladies to help make more sense of it for daily living. All ideas and help appreciated, especially those that help clarify.
Not convinced yet? I continue with another Garden of Eden root that exemplifies the superior sex. I’ll kill the mystery now but you already know so it’s not really a mystery: Love is superior to respect (although men will disagree instinctively in defense of male dominance). These self-worth emotions are inherited at birth: her self-love and his self-respect. Consequently, she begins life with the advantage for inducing men to yield their interests sufficiently in order to provide and protect her and her children. Gifted with self-love enables women to love others according to the way that women love—emotionally and clearly not dependent on male-like logic and reason. Their love is virtually endless unless turned off by love objects. Not that they love everybody, but they are capable of it. Their hearts overflow with loving thoughts whereas the male heart is only capable of loving those who qualify. Gifted with self-respect enables men to respect others but there’s a catch. Women can love without it being earned by the one loved. Men are different. A man respects those who earn it either from him or someone else that he respects. Moreover, the foundation of masculine love is respect, which makes it essential that a sex target earn his respect if she hopes to be more than his target. OTOH, women love too easily for men; they can love someone without respecting them so men are suspicious of womanly claims of love because it’s so different from man-think. It puts couples in this fix. A woman can love a man all day. Without earning his respect, however, hers will be unrequited love. It begs the question, what does a woman have or do that earns manly respect? The list is practically endless but it boils down to this: She’s female and acts it; she’s uniquely not male; she has feminine qualities that he admires to the point of fascination; and she has promise as a potential mate. Out of all that, provided she is also likeable to him as a person and woman, a man can devote himself loyally to one woman. In a reverse maneuver to earn respect without giving away the store, women compensate instinctively with a superior technique. Before, during, and after women fall for a man, femininity calls for them to exercise patience and depend on him to make himself worthy of her. They make men the sellers and women the buyers. They recognize that it takes time for a man’s respect to grow, discover and admire her qualities, appreciate her fascination, and realize that she holds enough promise for him to see her as his mate, his helpmate for fulfilling his ambitions. That reverse maneuver puts women in the driver’s seat of the marital bus. Who has the superior role? Driver or shotgun? Without the females’ natural ability to exploit their patience in order to generate mutual love with a man, not much marriage or permanent mating takes place.
I continue with another Garden of Eden root that adds credence to the supposition that females make up the superior sex.
Love’s Additive. The sexes love so differently that an additive is essential to help generate and lubricate mutual love, tenderize it for permanence, and thus enable a couple to live together compatibly and enjoyably. Without love, there is no ‘couple’. Without the additive to attract men, energize women, and lubricate their togetherness, there is too little permanence.
You may recall from earlier blog posts. Men are primarily producers and women processors. Think of love as a process, loving someone as the result, and women as being in charge of the process. By accepting responsibility, it puts women in charge of providing the ingredient that eases or erases friction and enables couples to harmonize their compatibility. It’s the superior ingredient that’s required for long-range marital success.
A couple’s love develops over time; the proper additive expedites it. Sex likenesses within a couple don’t generate much friction but boredom follows too easily especially after romantic love fades. OTOH, sex differences help prevent boredom with one another. For that and other reasons, sex differences make the stronger foundation for compatible togetherness. Differences also carry the greatest potential for friction between mates. Therefore, the need for a lubricant. Fortunately, the lubricant is the same additive that helps women attract men.
Both attracter and lubricant? Sure. The additive? Femininity. The expression of numerous female traits in ways that make women uniquely different from men, who have little interest in staying very long with a manly woman. They want to marry a virtuous woman, and masculine features in a woman are neither admired nor virtuous. Especially if she tries to get her way more than previously by relying on her manly qualities to overpower his.
Men see female qualities they admire and consider to be virtues. Femininity adds more man-sensed quality, which provides the extra magnetic-like effect that flows out of both glue and lubricant to hold a couple together more smoothly and longer. It’s more what he sees and imagines than what she thinks, does, and tries.
Men tend to stay with their earlier decisions, especially the ones of high quality that confirm they know what they are doing and that it is right. Also easier to live with later. If he’s attracted by a woman’s femininity and decides to marry her, he gets to learn years later that his choosing her was the right decision. It’s another blessing that permeates conscientious femininity. It confirms constantly that a man is doing the right thing for himself and ipso facto for her, which conscientious men accept as their responsibility.
Why does it happen that way? Because of a superior trait in women. The more they act like very feminine females, the more it confirms their self-importance, solidifies their character as being both strong and right, and improves their personal magnetism as they interface with a mate of many years. Very feminine women are quicker learners about men and togetherness than their less feminine peers.
Men are unable to produce such a superior product to generate and preserve relationships.
741. He can’t be successful to himself, if others see him weakened by his wife. His competitors are outside the home. Her dominant attitude can’t be missed there. 
742. The sexual pleasures for a woman are outweighed by the other things she needs for a happy life. Men have other interests too and for the most part let sex substitute for whatever is missing. 
743. When she makes herself worthy of a man by easily or readily providing sex, it doesn’t matter much if she’s pretty and attractive. Sloppy or comfortable will work for her, but it adds nothing to his reputation for having a good looker. It diminishes her worth as keeper. 
744. When you think men are only after one thing, your adolescent side shows. You primarily attract adultolescent men, and they fulfill your prophecy. Mature men figure you offer little else than sex, and they treat you accordingly. 
745. Virtual virginity is your best strategy to distinguish mature from immature men. 
746. Mature men devote themselves to what they perceive as a good woman, because they seek the pride of fatherhood. Adultolescent men think short term, dislike obligations, have little interest in new responsibility, usually look for another ‘looker’, and promise commitment that has very short legs. 
747. You should take advantage of your strengths and give him the appearance of your submissiveness to the man of the house. His perception is reality, and this means whatever he perceives satisfies him. You are far better equipped than he to work out the details to your advantage.
748. A woman’s soft-hearted nature should be reserved for husband and kids. Her hard-headed nature is much more beneficial to her in dating and courtship. Soft-heartedness makes it easier to call a man worthy of her, which makes her vulnerable to join sisters in ex country. Easy to conquer, easy to leave. 
749. He cheats on her, so she cheats on him. The former hurts her, the latter terminates their relationship. 
750. Women abandon femininity, modesty, high moral standards, and other female strengths just to have a boyfriend or husband they can’t keep. 
721. Feminism encourages women to value themselves individually, as men do. Femininity encourages women to value themselves as part of a couple, as Nature endows them. 
722. If her ex is going to be any different than he was in their first marriage, he needs to respect her more than before. Only that will make him favorably different and virtual virginity earns additional respect. 
723. Immature women expect that exchanging intimate knowledge with a man, especially sexual activity, will enable them to capture and hopefully keep a man. Nature works quite the opposite. 
724. Men appreciate what they pay for, and the more dearly they pay, the greater their appreciation. Pay, that is, with their interest, focus, time, manners, sacrifice, energy, laughter, fun, games, promises, mistakes, affection, commitment, politeness, devotion, and especially worry about losing her. 
725. Not knowledge but a man’s imagination keeps him interested in a woman. The promise of what lies ahead with her keeps her glued into his self-interest. 
726. From flirtation to conquest, each step completed along the way satisfies his knowledge but shifts a man’s curiosity to the next plateau of learning. The more he has to earn his way to each step, the more desirable she becomes. The longer she defers conquest, the more worthy she becomes. 
727. Mature women see a man’s energy turned to her as more important than his knowledge of her, desiring her as more important than having her, imagining her as more important than knowing her. 
728. If he wonders why she acts resistant to his come on, his imagination shifts toward finding out. If she’s not understandable, his imagination shifts toward her character and what motivates her. If character and motivation are mysterious, he becomes determined to explore her more deeply. 
729. Feminine mystique is all about creating curiosity and satisfying it ever so slowly. Her need for modesty, intimacy, and privacy stimulate his imagination to know more about her. 
730. Women could do better with this strategy: Generate maximum curiosity and satisfy it the least. Exploit manly curiosity to trigger masculine imagination. It works much better than making herself knowable and known without his having paid much in dedication, effort, and self-worry.