- Husbands expect to be confirmed as dependable and significant, that which they think they are. Wife, however, because it’s what she considers important and makes her feel good about herself, showers him with affection. It is neither the same nor what men appreciate. He may like her affection, but it isn’t ‘payday’ for his efforts.
- A man needs only a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s ‘battles’. Even a hut will do. A woman is driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones, but she needs a future that grows ever brighter, so a hut usually won’t do. The one with the greater need inherits the burden to make it happen.
- A man only needs a hut, but a woman wants a castle. She can get it by crowning him king, treating him royally, and calling it his castle. Or, she can learn to like their hut and soon tire of him and her.
- A man will visualize his hut a castle, if he’s treated as the king. A woman’s ego gets in her way. It restricts her from treating him as king, because she’s urged by Feminism to not elevate men and by her nature to dominate her nest and their home.
- A wife’s expectations about equality in housework, infant care, and other things cripples her likeability and worth, which works against keeping husband’s hormonal urges pointed only at her over the long marital road. It’s equality more than the work.
- Fathers withdraw from parenting when not upheld as good fathers by the mothers. A mom not upheld as a valuable and appreciated mother gets rid of father in spirit if not actuality.
- Honey-do lists become intolerable when Honey schedules, supervises, criticizes, or shows dislike of results.
- Husbands do not see the little nesting details of home life that irritate their wife. Reprimanding him for ‘blindness’ turns her into nagger, tyrant, or expendable mate.
- Feminism pressures men to change their behavior. However, in the social and domestic arenas the masculine nature erupts in often-silent but distinct individual ways that hurt feminist-think women.
- In spite of the popular myth of non-judgmentalism, character makes men more predictable to women. It’s a reading skill that girls develop best by saying no in adolescence. However, players take advantage of her ability to read men with a heart full of hope.
Tag Archives: Feminism
At 2505 Her Highness Honorfemineity mentioned a subject fond in my heart and worthy of revisit. I first published 2059 two years ago.
At 2058 Her Highness Prettybeans said to me. “Men are never more handsome as when they continue in their tireless efforts to teach and encourage recovery among ladies. Thank you.” Thus, she gives me both a perfect payday and perfect opportunity to further explain men.
When a man does something he considers a responsibility or obligation, it may be nice but he doesn’t expect to be thanked. It’s his duty. It’s the flip side of an unearned gift. Moreover, in today’s world, thank you is as worn out in sincerity as “I apologize.” So men pay little attention to thank you. Unless of course it’s extended as part of a hug from a pretty woman, which makes what he hears even less relevant.
OTOH, surprisingly expressed indirect compliments work wonders. Even reading Prettybeans above, note that the sentence is flooded with meaning for me that makes “Thank you” virtually unnoticeable.
I propose you ladies learn to charm men in general by charming individuals of opportunity. Charm both known and unknown men with indirect compliments wrapped in female boldness that produces the feminine advantage that women long to have. The benefits come to women from the effects they have on the masculine mind.
My favorite indirect compliment is this: “Men are never more handsome than when they please a lady (for whatever they do).” Use it every time a man pleases you. Opens the door, seats you at table, lets you go ahead of him in a waiting line, husband does laundry or brings you flowers. It doesn’t matter. If a man pleases you, suggest that he just might be made more handsome for doing it. You like to be reminded that you’re pretty don’t you? Indirectness works best with men.
- First, you have not hit on him. You merely used a surprisingly pleasant way of expressing gratefulness for manly conduct that pleases you as a woman. After the same man has heard it several times, the surprise may evaporate but the friendly reminder will only fade slightly if at all.
- When you claim yourself as a lady a few times, you will benefit both yourself and set standards for men. Up to which men learn to step when convinced you are what you claim repeatedly.
- The phrasing makes it sound routine for other men. Strangers read it that you are routinely pleased by other men and it generates uncommon friendliness. Men you know are encouraged to do more to stay ahead of their competitors and to keep you pleased with them.
- Men love to be called handsome by women, but you didn’t call him that. You call him one of many. He has to infer that he’s included among the pleasers of women, which encourages more because of the success you surprise him with.
- Although delivered directly, you pass an indirect compliment. He has to make it personal. If he’s handsome for pleasing you, then his male competitors are too. To compete better, he’s encouraged to please you and perhaps others as opportunities arise. He sees women as targets to uplift as unique and deserving of his ability to please. It’s a natural follow-on to his success among competitors. He only has to connect pleasing women to earning self-admiration to make him a better man in the eyes of females.
It works in writing, just as Prettybeans wrote to me above. But, ladies, if you want the full effect, do it this way. For example, a stranger speeds up to hold open the door for you to enter a public building. Halfway through or after the door closes, stop to gain his attention, smile sincerely, capture his eyeballs with yours, and BOLDLY say, “You know, (pause) men are never more handsome than when they please a lady.” And don’t say thank you. Just continue to smile and walk on with something like “Have a good day.”
He can’t just hear it either. His ears are not his primary sensor. Belief only comes when he sees your earnestness. Eye-to-eye displays feminine courage that men respect.
I understand you ladies can’t accept what I propose. It requires too much boldness among other sensibilities. Were I in your shoes, I probably wouldn’t think of such a thing. Remember, I’m pushing you no harder than showing an example. Primarily, I’m using it to explain the male mind. You have to figure out how to make men please you, as modern men don’t seem too eager except in pursuit of sex. Only women can train men to do the right thing as women see what is right. Most women think it’s right for them to be pleased and especially by men. That’s why I’m here to help.
I promise you this. Provided you do it boldly, smilingly, and with eyeballs locked with his when you say it, you will find significant pleasure in their reactions. You’ll recognize that you’ve charged them up with new pleasure and perhaps fascination in you. When a woman makes a man feel fantastic about himself, she assumes an aura of respectability that modern women lack.
What’s the effect on him? Think it through. You just convinced one man that ladies have standards up to which a man can easily find success, can find pleasure doing for others. To be more significant, to find more self-admiration, he only needs to please more women. How can that not be good? How can that not enhance the importance of a woman?
If you recall their natures, women are born to be good and men to do good. But women have to determine what is good for men to do. When men determine what is good, women find it mostly ‘ungood’ for them.
If women are ever to stop or even slow modern society’s slide from goodness toward evil, they must let men know that female standards not only exist but need to be honored. The way to gain honor is to encourage men to do good, specifically do what women expect. The simple “Men are never more handsome…” can jumpstart any woman’s contribution to pleasing men by pleasing herself to please men in ways that benefit Womanhood.
It’s habitual in the modern world. When she feels badly about herself, she blames her man or men if she has no man. We’re each made to feel good about ourselves by ourselves, but modernized women aren’t too keen about accepting that. Feminism teaches that they are victims and someone else is responsible for their feeling bad about themselves: parents, teachers, boyfriend, mate, husband.
A couple’s compatibility starts to end when she blames him. Disagreement sets in, he knows she’s wrong as he’s doing his best, and men don’t intend to lose battles with their woman.
Women are born with two better ways. They easily accept guilt and thereby accept responsibility that naturally avoids blaming others. Whether wife or single, whether bachelorette or emerging teen hopeful, they can charm rather than blame. Both guilt and charm brighten their world, although their ego may be hard to swallow for not blaming someone for egregious offenses.
A woman’s charm starts at the mirror, exploits her prettiness to the max, and curls her thoughts into the conviction that one, few, or more men will find her beautiful. She first makes herself feel great about herself. WADWMUFGAO, and her bedroom mirror does it best.
Successful mating starts there and doesn’t last unless she continues her mirror habits. Why? Because men expect to live with the woman they marry. They expect wife not to change, but they’re not cold. They naturally allow for aging if feminine charm and attractiveness continue as before.
A man rejects blame. He knows he’s doing his best at what he does best, working outside the home as provider/protector etc. He also rejects blame for what happens inside the home; that’s her domain so she needs to get her act together as he sees it. (See Mirror Time at 2123-2127 for details on how to successfully dominate the home and family.)
The scholar’s term is division of labor; I prefer division of responsibility. He provides and she spreads the benefits of coupledom and togetherness. If he doesn’t provide enough, she’s responsible to help. If she doesn’t manage well enough, he’s responsible to help. Blame in either direction is the opposite of help.
She may work outside the home and help him provide, but the principle remains in place. Division of responsibility and respect for the one responsible tends to cancel out the urge to blame and fosters the urge to merge frequently, which is part of her charm that adds sexual enjoyment to their togetherness.
- “I’m a little freaked out that my husband is crying at Disney Channel TV shows and I’m being snuggled to death!” [MeowMeow at 2342 that explains the sex-role switcheroo caused by hormone losses as we age.]
- “If someone else is to blame then someone else is the only one with the power to make things better.” [Instanitybytes22 at 2347.]
- “Our bodies are the number 1 possession, it is priceless and no-man should have access to it unless he is willing to also give us his number 1 possession, aka freedom.” [Emma at 2149]
- “…we speak to each other kindly and we do not hit below the belt when we are upset.” [The lady-author of the PRiM article, 2306]
- “I had an interesting revelation…. I realized it was more important to me for [respected male coworkers] to think I’m pretty than for them to think I’m smart. Obviously it’s important they think I’m competent – this is a job – but I’d rather they think I’m pretty-and-competent than brilliant-and-competent. … This is really counter-intuitive for someone who’s always worked and studied hard to ‘keep up with the boys’ in a male-dominated field. … I also finally think I can forgive my grandfather for saying, “You get prettier every time I see you,” and dismissing me every time I tried to engage him in discussions of his work in the same field as my father, my brother, and myself. On a related note, I don’t really care much what the coworkers I do not respect think.” [Meggrz at 1690]
- “One of the many problems with feminism is that it teaches women that there is something wrong with “wanting to live up to someone more important than us,” generally men. But that is what makes us happy, that is what brings us joy. Within feminism, to seek the approval of men is thought to be debasing oneself, so what is innate and instinctual to us is at war with what is socially acceptable.” [Insanitybytes22 at 2210]
- “Remember ladies. Wanting to be chased is a feminine desire. If a man requires it, you’ve got a problem.” [Tooconfused at 2322]
- “The women say men and women can be just friends PERIOD. 🙂 The men say, men in friendships with women never view it as “just friends”, but rather men just respect being in the holding pattern until the woman opens the door for more. I tend to agree with the men.” [Shanna at 2321]
- “Men are wired by nature to move on from rejection and try again, but for a woman it hurts and feels unnatural to be UNWANTED by a man, so of course, I strongly disagree with themes that encourage women to actively pursue men.” [Sarina at 2326]
- “Another little thing I would tell my kids… How you think in your heart, will eventually show up on your face.” [Surfercajun at 2334]
I aim at the gender level, ladies, so don’t take it personal except the sentence surrounded by asterisks.
The male and female natures inherited at birth have been socialized and domesticated into habits that work contrary to how we are born. Default conditions are ignored because of pressures designed by political activists. I don’t alibi for either sex but blame Feminism to explain how and why compatibility has sunk into the swamp of ill-feeling toward the opposite sex.
Feminists taught women to blame men for female problems. Doing so put women in the role of acting contrary to their nature, contrary to where their heart leads them. *As the direct response, single women soften their natural hard-headedness and married women harden their soft-heartedness.*
Men aren’t as much offended as they are disappointed in females. Men think: I want to cooperate but with all the crap you pull, why should I?
As women go so goes society and we all do what makes us feel good about ourselves; women do it with little regard for how it registers with men. The combination causes men to harden up their hard-headedness and refuse to soften up their natural hard-heartedness. Men are disappointed because they are discouraged from being heroes to the opposite sex, which gives every indication of being in distress but undeserving of masculine help.
Feminism changed all women; it’s now a universal spirit. Women can’t resist being convinced that they deserve better than whatever men produce and provide. They measure men by how men treat them instead of how men measure themselves by what they accomplish. That difference rocks compatibility.
Adopting feminist thought, women don’t or can’t abandon their natural motivational baseline, which bastardizes their motivational drive and produces results that further confuse the female mind, and which earns disrespect in the male mind.
She tries to bond with sex but men don’t. She abandons modesty to be liked and men don’t respect her. She forgoes mystery that fires up the male imagination and favors full disclosure that kills male curiosity. She expects boyfriend to be loyal to her but she doesn’t first earn his respect. She expects husband to be faithful but tries to change him. She builds his castle on fashion and her reputation with women and disregards his desire for a functional recovery and resting place. She weakens his comfort and daily recovery by insisting to keep a perfect appearance within the home. She tortures him with petty requests to do what she can easily do herself. She commands his presence without respecting his other obligations. She doesn’t respect his family but she wants them to do what she expects. She ranks her children over her man and expects him to peacefully play second fiddle to her music score. She ignores her heart by letting others convince her its undependable to protect and promote her interests. She wants to make sure he knows that her needs and wants are more important than his.
By trying to either be more like men or get them to act more like females, women confuse themselves. They are unable to produce the outcomes they long for. Men wish it were otherwise, but modern women are propagandized to listen to women instead of men. It’s more a gender than individual happening; by blaming men, women escape guilt for causing relationship failures. Much as the radical feminists anticipated it five decades ago.
On the other side of the ledger, the male nature stubbornly rejects feminist theory. Men stick to mostly following their nature, which of course is never all that admirable to women. Men learn in life that particular behaviors annoy the heck out of women and—when inclined to please their woman—they avoid the annoyances. However, when blamed, they easily convince themselves that ‘I don’t appreciate what she does, why please her?’, which pushes them back toward their self-centered, hard-headed, and hard-hearted nature.
So, what else is new? He takes me for granted. He never shows enough affection. His job comes before me. He won’t help with housework. He won’t help enough with the kids. He won’t clean or pick up after himself. He’s a slob around the house. He spends our money on his toys. He’s so selfish he doesn’t know the meaning of ‘us’. He wants sex whether I’m ready or not. He never wants to take my family into consideration. He loves our daughter but expects too much from our son. He thinks I should be able to handle a full-time job and housework with no help and no problems. He talks a good game but doesn’t produce when the chips are down.
Those are symptoms of men who don’t care if they annoy their woman or they purposely do it out of some real or imagined spite. Men aren’t that opposed to cooperation unless they want to save face.
Blaming a man shows disrespect and men tire easily of it. They expect to be respected and appreciated and to measure it by her displays of obvious gratitude, which also endorses his likeability to her and her willingness to be loyal to him.
Thus, the pointy finger of blame continues to mock compatibility and flood the already full swamp of ill-feeling toward the opposite sex.
861. Women expect men to hear what was never said. Men cannot, will not, or do not follow a woman’s verbal meanderings and impreciseness as other women can, will, and do. 
862. People miss a major point about teaching abstinence for teens. Girls firm up their confidence, expand interpersonal skills, and boost their relationship expertise by repeatedly saying ‘No’. Boys learn what’s permissible, acceptable, and valuable in the female world. 
863. Prettier women are treated better, and any woman can be prettier. Clothes and grooming impress both men and women. 
864. It’s rhetorical, but why do women try so hard to please men with sex but not please them with feminine charm, beauty, and strength of character that men admire? Men admire beauty, but they use sex and it’s a throwaway. 
865. Shack up as substitute or step toward marriage puts a couple’s destiny in the man’s hands. (Also, eighty percent of marriages fail after cohabiting.) 
866. The easier a man’s conquest, the less valuable to him is the conquered. 
867. Sex is an emotional commodity that works like an economic one. The greater the supply, the lower the cost men pay in emotional involvement, time, effort, and courtship expense. 
868. The conqueror thinks more about ‘me’ than ‘you and me’. Denial of conquest first shifts a man’s focus seriously toward ‘us’. 
869. Functionality and comfort dictate what men wear and look like except as female influence and expectations dictate otherwise. 
870. Pressures of Feminism force men to change their behavior, but it does not change their nature. Men resent, resist, and retaliate one way or another. Individual women reap the consequences. 
There’s more coming on mid-life dating, but let’s take a break. Guy Jr. and I collaborated on this subject and two part series for weekend reading.
Women are givers, men are takers. Right? However, bet you never thought of these social processes that leave women craving better men made worse by the death of chivalry.
The spirit of Feminism stirs masculine indignation against feminists; which spreads as non-feminists fall for propaganda and adopt feminist values and expectations; which causes masculine disappointment in womanhood; which stimulates loss of unconditional respect for the female gender; which over time morphs into fury and anger at individual women who show men disrespect; which stirs ambitions for revenge; which intensifies as women blame men for social ills and domestic incompatibility; which convinces men that female uniqueness is valuable only for sex; which kills masculine desire to be more giving; which terminates incentives for gentlemanly behavior and energies for chivalry. Even momentarily, men are unwilling to yield their convenience as symbol of higher regard for women than themselves. Self-centeredness, selfishness, and more taking prevail among men.
Domestic incompatibility soars as women face off against men made uninterested and inadequate for helping to fulfill female hopes and dreams.
History records it this way. The suffragettes planted the seeds, Women’s Liberation fertilized it, and feminists reaped the political fruit trying to emasculate men and thereby destroy patriarchy. Due and well earned in legal, political, and economic arenas, women’s advancements at men’s expense spread toxins into social and domestic arenas, which today makes couples incompatible.
Feminists killed the social construct of ladies as cultural opinion leaders, which pushed men to abandon gentlemanly behavior. Feminists rejected unconditional respect for females to symbolize their demand that men accept the political superiority of the female gender. Needing to appear as dominant leaders, feminists rejected chivalry, belittled gentlemanly courtesies, and shamed the unconditional respect of men for the female gender. (I can open doors myself, I don’t need you.)
Women accepted feminist propaganda and watched as ladyhood died of feminist ridicule. Women abandoned femininity as a featured attraction to capture a man for mating. Men lost interest in female hopes and dreams.
In the name of attacking manhood, womanhood was victimized by radical feminists. Chivalry disappeared along with the death of masculine thoughts that women deserved special attention and treatment just for being the weaker sex. Feminists could not admit to being the weaker sex, even though it’s a misnomer based solely on physical differences. As women proclaimed less need for men and greater strength for femaleness, they got what they wished for. Independence from men except for sex, which also nullified any need for chivalry.
I think it purposeful. Feminism killed the unconditional respect of one’s gender for the other sex that our forebears had developed and had become the greatest protector ever devised for women and children—respect solely because they are women and children (and who gets in the life boat first). Mutual respect for the opposite sex was demeaned and lost trying to benefit women at the expense of men.
Loss of mutual respect at gender level magnifies the loss at individual level. Undesirable relationship outcomes for females depletes the benefits of men in their lives. Witness the death of chivalry, fading away of gentlemanly behavior, and disintegration of harmonious family life—all tied together in a neat radical package.
The fallout today? Boys taught to be chivalrous such as in scouting discover they are emasculated in the eyes of girls and women. After a few unsuccessful efforts to demonstrate gentlemanly or chivalrous behavior, they just quit. Without female encouragement, they turn to easier ways. For example, this ultimate insult for women as quoted from the Manosphere, “there is unanimous agreement that you should never buy dinner for a woman as a date before you have had sex with her. This is probably the most unanimous point of agreement across all Game material from all sources.” Can you think of a bigger opposite of chivalry?
Chivalry triggers unconditional giving of oneself by a man, which minimizes masculine selfishness and neutralizes his role as taker, which symbolizes unconditional respect of women, which recognizes a certain superiority of the female gender, and which puts his convenience momentarily at the disposal of a woman. No wonder women appreciate chivalry and wish they had it again.