2821. Love is Never Enough — 01: Introduction

I begin the new year with this new theme. Love is never enough. I may have bitten off more than I can chew. I will have to hunt and peck my way through the gigantic female problems that flow out of it, but I’ll keep chewing till readers say stop.

Why is love never enough? Christ’s teachings are under attack and pastors take no public offense. Love has been discredited by political activists and undergoes replacement by sex. Women contradict themselves daily. Relationships function with fractious love. Men don’t live by love unless females teach them how to thrive with it, and newer generations of women have lost both interest and ability.

Love is a humongous subject in all its forms. I focus only on one form: LOVE AS MOTIVATOR AMONG COUPLES. Motivation to act, to reveal or follow one’s emotions about their appreciation of each other. Specifically, how does one show love and how does a loved one react and respond in today’s social marketplace and domestic scene?

You see, if you love someone enough, it’s normal to expect they should love you back? At least that’s how many women think; their love can overcome all else. Desperate probably amid lack of knowledge of how to do it anyway, women forget or ignore that men function primarily on respect rather than love.

Well, humans work this way. The lovee takes in and responds differently from what the lover gives and expects in return. What she gives she does not get back. Two minds do not work the same, most not even alike. Far too often in modern times and between the sexes, minds work opposite one to another.

Thus, love is not nearly enough for couples. Without her love dominating a relationship, it means her man dominates it. Men don’t know how to breathe success into a relationship, but they try it anyway, and couples breakup regularly as the result. A man dominating a relationship—very different from dominating his woman—goes contrary to how the sexes are designed, but women stifle their ability by not focusing on things other than expressions of love.

Love is not even understood by women who spread it; they seem to have given up the ability to understand the effects of sharing their love. For example, excited, she shows her man some affection but she doesn’t hear him mumble: Hell, yesterday you said I was a pig. As the result of such contradictions, love currently fails to provide what women expect out of life.

Christ empowered women by legitimizing love as a powerful social and political influence, if just used as He exemplified it. More powerful social and relationship influence flowing from female love generates greater influence in the affairs of mankind, and so love helps provide women with political influence. But how close to Christ’s examples do modern women live?

I don’t expect women to live like Christ. He leads by example and models the best life for us to follow. I hope to just explain this to women. Their lack of success in relationships, marriage, and life is caused by their drifting too far away from what men define as a good mate. Men expect a good woman, so how does she become good as potential mate?

Feminists claim she’s already a good woman, and men continue on their way of further subjugating women with sex for pleasure.

2777. Well-liked Article (#23 posted in 2007)

Femininity, once a source of power and eliteness for females, has been made an object of scorn and ridicule by feminists. Women no longer appreciate that femininity adds color to a man’s black and white world, as one woman explains to Alison Armstrong in her book, Keys to the Kingdom.

Feminists consider men as undeserving of special attention and care. Yet, they eagerly provide what makes men highly appreciative—that is, frequent, convenient, inexpensive, and unobligated sex. That contradiction works directly against women looking for the Marrying Man and seeking marital success.

Feminism demeans the male nature in order to promote the status and political power of females. Femininity appreciates the male nature, applauds manliness, and empowers men to provide relationship stability, safety, and security.

Feminism focuses on making men unnecessary and dispensable in order to uplift females in legal, political, and economic circles and social and domestic stature. Femininity focuses on the high value and indispensability of men in order to uplift women and children above the depredations of extreme male aggression—and in today’s environment—the threat of child molesters.

Feminism rejects as undeserving both castle-building and hut maintenance for a man. Femininity kisses frogs, treats princes as royalty, and specializes on lavishing warmth and affection on everyone in the king’s castle.

Feminism politically empowers females to act like roosters and emulate the man of the house. Femininity endows females with the self-worth, self-image, and self-confidence to rule their rooster by letting him appear to rule the roost.

Feminism produces an attitude of ingratitude for manly behavior that pushes men away—except for their relentless pursuit of sex. Femininity produces an attitude of gratitude that attracts men and uses each female’s personal assets and appealing attractions to hold a man.

Feminism elevates sex above marriage, encourages eroticism, accepts promiscuity, stimulates pornography, allows sexual activity among children, and fails to discourage such things when opened for public discussion. Femininity subordinates sex to marriage, rejects eroticism out of modesty, disdains promiscuity as alien to relationship success, educates against porn as destructive to kids and family, protects children from adult sexual license, and promotes civilized behavior as keeping sex confined to the marital bed.

Feminism discourages women from chastising men who exploit their masculine advantages. Feminists expect to change the male nature to reduce male strengths. Femininity capitalizes on male strengths, compensates for weaknesses of both sexes, and eagerly helps build and maintain a man’s castle, since women are made potentially compatible with men by their drive to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones.

Feminism relies on and promotes the masculine games of might-makes-right, rule of man, and winning is more important than how one plays. Femininity relies on and promotes the females’ instinctive preference for right-makes-might, rule of law, and how one plays the female friendly game.

Feminism discourages male adoration in spite of a lot of female wishful thinking. Femininity inspires male adoration with little effort, because of female reliance on letting nature take its course in spite of feminist politics.

Feminism produces principles and ideology that divide the sexes as feminists try to conquer the political agenda. Femininity uses principles and ideology that unite and unify couples into stable and long-lasting families.

Feminism insists that women have the same capability as men for producing, providing, protecting, and problem-solving. Femininity supplies glory and high values that energize the unique ability of men as wartime defenders, peacetime providers, anytime protectors of women and children, and reliable solver of family problems.

Feminism reverses the best interest of females by restructuring social values that enable men to dominate more successfully. The traditional family is not essential. Men are not essential to female happiness. To show female independence, women are pushed to compete directly with their man, which men refuse to accept. Mothers are not responsible to civilize boys; someone else should do that even though modern boys are becoming more violent, disrespectful of authority, and take greater advantage of young girls. Femininity endorses and promotes the opposite.

2774. Well-liked Article (#1 posted 11/23/07)

• Feminism Indicted: Feminism is the philosophy of envy of men, the creed of anger at men, and the gospel of politics in relationships. Its inherent virtue equalizes unhappiness for women seeking or living with a man.
• Femininity Acquitted: Femininity is the philosophy of attractiveness for self, the creed of faithfulness with men, and the gospel of devotion to one man. Its inherent virtue civilizes men, balances male dominance, suppresses male aggressiveness, inspires men to prove their worthiness, and rewards men for acting responsibly as both husband and father.
• Feminism discourages male adoration of women. Femininity inspires it.
• Feminism demeans masculinity to get what women want. Femininity praises manliness to get what women want.
• Feminism unleashes the savage male beast. Femininity tames it.
• Anger and blame energize the politics of Feminism. Indirectness and modesty empower the cultural and domestic leadership of Femininity.
• And with thanks to Mary Wumths: Feminism seeks equality between the sexes. Femininity recognizes the differences between the sexes and uses it to female advantage.

2750. Essentials of Successful Marriage — 03 Her Battle of the Sexes

At post 2749 I described the War of the Sexes as each woman individually and independently up against all men, competing to see who gets their way. They are blessed by nature to succeed in that arrangement. Men go where the women are, so it’s up to each woman to play her cards independently to her own advantage.

Perhaps contrary to popular thought, the Battle of the Sexes is not about male gender versus female gender, dominance vs. submissive, equality vs. fairness, husband vs. wife, responsibility vs. irresponsibility. It’s easy to believe those competitive connections to be normal. However, God didn’t design us, Nature and genetics don’t endow us, and hormones don’t energize us that way.*

The Battle of the Sexes is one on one, begins with first encounter, and she commands the battleground. One woman willing to yield her independence under the right conditions versus one man willing to suppress his dominant nature long enough to conquer her. She inherits the burden to convince him that she’s much more endearing to him personally and more valuable for his life than are his hopes of conquest.

Both are born to get their way with the other, eternal competition that only a relationship expert can manage well. He’s a conqueror seeking conquest without obligation. She’s a conqueror seeking marriage before conquest. It’s the only way she can be sure of what he is truly after, either sex or her.

With a lasso made of her beauty, mystery, modesty, monogamous spirit, and his desire to conquer, he places it around his neck. One woman cuts out that man from the herd; leads him into her corral; breaks him of bucking; and does it with vim, vigor, and vitality. Before he can get her into bed the first time, she coaches and persuades him to learn how it pleases him to be both tamed and harnessed with her as good woman. By committing to how she trains him, he finally achieves conquest and enjoys the frequent and convenient sex won by pulling her buggy through life together.

The Battle of the Sexes expands with them as a couple. They court until both are convinced they are made for each other. He makes his move with a proposal of marriage, if and when he’s convinced living with her will satisfy him more than the way he presently lives.

With all his warts and sins, she is more the challenge than he. Example: As soon as she blames him for being like all men, she hardens his resistence to her influence, which means she weakens her ability to win the battle of capturing him. It’s a contradiction she has to work out successfully in the corral of their life together, and she has more than enough ability. The time and way to start is the tough part. (Discussed more deeply in future articles.)

The Battle of the Sexes is continuous in time, daily in events, and one woman pitted against whatever man she currently faces in whatever role he fills—first encounter, friend, foe, husband, boyfriend, business associate, FWB, or whatever. It’s each woman’s personal battle, and she has no one but herself to win it. IOW, yes, it’s all up to her how well she does in both the war and her battles to get her way in life with one man.

She has to rely on herself alone. As soon as she seeks help through the aegis and protection of other women banding together or blaming all men for her man’s faults, the man she faces assumes the aura of dominance in her eyes, which weakens her position. She then takes the easy road, allows for the expected dominant pressures, and yields sex or other matters without a battle of wits. In the process, he more easily refuses to cooperate or help her win their one-on-one battle.

By disregarding dominance as having a role in her relationships, each individual female more easily cuts out one horse to put in her corral. The battle then is that one female tames one male to be civilized up to female expectations to facilitate the raising of children. Each individual woman does that to her man, and she leaves other men and women out of her life to do the same for themselves.

Tomorrow: His Battle of the Sexes

——

* It appears that way because modern culture says we can’t live with the sexes being different. The political class for reasons hidden from the public for over half a century ridicule men and criticize male traits and behaviors. They blame men for female problems, which makes enemies of men, which makes women desperate to have a man, which encourages them to act more like men in order to have one of their own. IOW, if women can’t make men stand up to feminist exaggerations, copy their ambitions and lie down with them.

The professed political object centralizes power to weaken patriarchy, but the result is political makeover of America. Once, our Judeo-Christian culture was primarily female friendly. Nowadays, it’s male friendlier and getting more so.

 

 

2671. Refresher Thoughts — 06

1. Husbands expect to be confirmed as dependable and significant, that which they think they are. Wife, however, because it’s what she considers important and makes her feel good about herself, showers him with affection. It is neither the same nor what men appreciate. He may like her affection, but it isn’t ‘payday’ for his efforts.
2. A man needs only a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s ‘battles’. Even a hut will do. A woman is driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones, but she needs a future that grows ever brighter, so a hut usually won’t do. The one with the greater need inherits the burden to make it happen.
3. A man only needs a hut, but a woman wants a castle. She can get it by crowning him king, treating him royally, and calling it his castle. Or, she can learn to like their hut and soon tire of him and her.
4. A man will visualize his hut a castle, if he’s treated as the king. A woman’s ego gets in her way. It restricts her from treating him as king, because she’s urged by Feminism to not elevate men and by her nature to dominate her nest and their home.
5. A wife’s expectations about equality in housework, infant care, and other things cripples her likeability and worth, which works against keeping husband’s hormonal urges pointed only at her over the long marital road. It’s equality more than the work.
6. Fathers withdraw from parenting when not upheld as good fathers by the mothers. A mom not upheld as a valuable and appreciated mother gets rid of father in spirit if not actuality.
7. Honey-do lists become intolerable when Honey schedules, supervises, criticizes, or shows dislike of results.
8. Husbands do not see the little nesting details of home life that irritate their wife. Reprimanding him for ‘blindness’ turns her into nagger, tyrant, or expendable mate.
9. Feminism pressures men to change their behavior. However, in the social and domestic arenas the masculine nature erupts in often-silent but distinct individual ways that hurt feminist-think women.
10. In spite of the popular myth of non-judgmentalism, character makes men more predictable to women. It’s a reading skill that girls develop best by saying no in adolescence. However, players take advantage of her ability to read men with a heart full of hope.

2506. Men are Never More Handsome…. A Revisit

At 2505 Her Highness Honorfemineity mentioned a subject fond in my heart and  worthy of revisit. I first published 2059 two years ago.

At 2058 Her Highness Prettybeans said to me. “Men are never more handsome as when they continue in their tireless efforts to teach and encourage recovery among ladies. Thank you.” Thus, she gives me both a perfect payday and perfect opportunity to further explain men.

When a man does something he considers a responsibility or obligation, it may be nice but he doesn’t expect to be thanked. It’s his duty. It’s the flip side of an unearned gift. Moreover, in today’s world, thank you is as worn out in sincerity as “I apologize.” So men pay little attention to thank you. Unless of course it’s extended as part of a hug from a pretty woman, which makes what he hears even less relevant.

OTOH, surprisingly expressed indirect compliments work wonders. Even reading Prettybeans above, note that the sentence is flooded with meaning for me that makes “Thank you” virtually unnoticeable.

I propose you ladies learn to charm men in general by charming individuals of opportunity. Charm both known and unknown men with indirect compliments wrapped in female boldness that produces the feminine advantage that women long to have. The benefits come to women from the effects they have on the masculine mind.

My favorite indirect compliment is this: “Men are never more handsome than when they please a lady (for whatever they do).” Use it every time a man pleases you. Opens the door, seats you at table, lets you go ahead of him in a waiting line, husband does laundry or brings you flowers. It doesn’t matter. If a man pleases you, suggest that he just might be made more handsome for doing it. You like to be reminded that you’re pretty don’t you? Indirectness works best with men.

• First, you have not hit on him. You merely used a surprisingly pleasant way of expressing gratefulness for manly conduct that pleases you as a woman. After the same man has heard it several times, the surprise may evaporate but the friendly reminder will only fade slightly if at all.
• When you claim yourself as a lady a few times, you will benefit both yourself and set standards for men. Up to which men learn to step when convinced you are what you claim repeatedly.
• The phrasing makes it sound routine for other men. Strangers read it that you are routinely pleased by other men and it generates uncommon friendliness. Men you know are encouraged to do more to stay ahead of their competitors and to keep you pleased with them.
• Men love to be called handsome by women, but you didn’t call him that. You call him one of many. He has to infer that he’s included among the pleasers of women, which encourages more because of the success you surprise him with.
• Although delivered directly, you pass an indirect compliment. He has to make it personal. If he’s handsome for pleasing you, then his male competitors are too. To compete better, he’s encouraged to please you and perhaps others as opportunities arise. He sees women as targets to uplift as unique and deserving of his ability to please. It’s a natural follow-on to his success among competitors. He only has to connect pleasing women to earning self-admiration to make him a better man in the eyes of females.

It works in writing, just as Prettybeans wrote to me above. But, ladies, if you want the full effect, do it this way. For example, a stranger speeds up to hold open the door for you to enter a public building. Halfway through or after the door closes, stop to gain his attention, smile sincerely, capture his eyeballs with yours, and BOLDLY say, “You know, (pause) men are never more handsome than when they please a lady.” And don’t say thank you. Just continue to smile and walk on with something like “Have a good day.”

He can’t just hear it either. His ears are not his primary sensor. Belief only comes when he sees your earnestness. Eye-to-eye displays feminine courage that men respect.

I understand you ladies can’t accept what I propose. It requires too much boldness among other sensibilities. Were I in your shoes, I probably wouldn’t think of such a thing. Remember, I’m pushing you no harder than showing an example. Primarily, I’m using it to explain the male mind. You have to figure out how to make men please you, as modern men don’t seem too eager except in pursuit of sex. Only women can train men to do the right thing as women see what is right. Most women think it’s right for them to be pleased and especially by men. That’s why I’m here to help.

I promise you this. Provided you do it boldly, smilingly, and with eyeballs locked with his when you say it, you will find significant pleasure in their reactions. You’ll recognize that you’ve charged them up with new pleasure and perhaps fascination in you. When a woman makes a man feel fantastic about himself, she assumes an aura of respectability that modern women lack.

What’s the effect on him? Think it through. You just convinced one man that ladies have standards up to which a man can easily find success, can find pleasure doing for others. To be more significant, to find more self-admiration, he only needs to please more women. How can that not be good? How can that not enhance the importance of a woman?

If you recall their natures, women are born to be good and men to do good. But women have to determine what is good for men to do. When men determine what is good, women find it mostly ‘ungood’ for them.

If women are ever to stop or even slow modern society’s slide from goodness toward evil, they must let men know that female standards not only exist but need to be honored. The way to gain honor is to encourage men to do good, specifically do what women expect. The simple “Men are never more handsome…” can jumpstart any woman’s contribution to pleasing men by pleasing herself to please men in ways that benefit Womanhood.

2354. Tribute to the Female Nature — 08: Guilt and Charm

It’s habitual in the modern world. When she feels badly about herself, she blames her man or men if she has no man. We’re each made to feel good about ourselves by ourselves, but modernized women aren’t too keen about accepting that. Feminism teaches that they are victims and someone else is responsible for their feeling bad about themselves: parents, teachers, boyfriend, mate, husband.

A couple’s compatibility starts to end when she blames him. Disagreement sets in, he knows she’s wrong as he’s doing his best, and men don’t intend to lose battles with their woman.

Women are born with two better ways. They easily accept guilt and thereby accept responsibility that naturally avoids blaming others. Whether wife or single, whether bachelorette or emerging teen hopeful, they can charm rather than blame. Both guilt and charm brighten their world, although their ego may be hard to swallow for not blaming someone for egregious offenses.

A woman’s charm starts at the mirror, exploits her prettiness to the max, and curls her thoughts into the conviction that one, few, or more men will find her beautiful. She first makes herself feel great about herself. WADWMUFGAO, and her bedroom mirror does it best.

Successful mating starts there and doesn’t last unless she continues her mirror habits. Why? Because men expect to live with the woman they marry. They expect wife not to change, but they’re not cold. They naturally allow for aging if feminine charm and attractiveness continue as before.

A man rejects blame. He knows he’s doing his best at what he does best, working outside the home as provider/protector etc. He also rejects blame for what happens inside the home; that’s her domain so she needs to get her act together as he sees it. (See Mirror Time at 2123-2127 for details on how to successfully dominate the home and family.)

The scholar’s term is division of labor; I prefer division of responsibility. He provides and she spreads the benefits of coupledom and togetherness. If he doesn’t provide enough, she’s responsible to help. If she doesn’t manage well enough, he’s responsible to help. Blame in either direction is the opposite of help.

She may work outside the home and help him provide, but the principle remains in place. Division of responsibility and respect for the one responsible tends to cancel out the urge to blame and fosters the urge to merge frequently, which is part of her charm that adds sexual enjoyment to their togetherness.

 

2350. Favored Quotes—Collection 47

1. “I’m a little freaked out that my husband is crying at Disney Channel TV shows and I’m being snuggled to death!” [MeowMeow at 2342 that explains the sex-role switcheroo caused by hormone losses as we age.]
2. “If someone else is to blame then someone else is the only one with the power to make things better.” [Instanitybytes22 at 2347.]
3. “Our bodies are the number 1 possession, it is priceless and no-man should have access to it unless he is willing to also give us his number 1 possession, aka freedom.” [Emma at 2149]
4. “…we speak to each other kindly and we do not hit below the belt when we are upset.” [The lady-author of the PRiM article, 2306]
5. “I had an interesting revelation…. I realized it was more important to me for [respected male coworkers] to think I’m pretty than for them to think I’m smart. Obviously it’s important they think I’m competent – this is a job – but I’d rather they think I’m pretty-and-competent than brilliant-and-competent. … This is really counter-intuitive for someone who’s always worked and studied hard to ‘keep up with the boys’ in a male-dominated field. … I also finally think I can forgive my grandfather for saying, “You get prettier every time I see you,” and dismissing me every time I tried to engage him in discussions of his work in the same field as my father, my brother, and myself. On a related note, I don’t really care much what the coworkers I do not respect think.” [Meggrz at 1690]
6. “One of the many problems with feminism is that it teaches women that there is something wrong with “wanting to live up to someone more important than us,” generally men. But that is what makes us happy, that is what brings us joy. Within feminism, to seek the approval of men is thought to be debasing oneself, so what is innate and instinctual to us is at war with what is socially acceptable.” [Insanitybytes22 at 2210]
7. “Remember ladies. Wanting to be chased is a feminine desire. If a man requires it, you’ve got a problem.” [Tooconfused at 2322]
8. “The women say men and women can be just friends PERIOD. 🙂 The men say, men in friendships with women never view it as “just friends”, but rather men just respect being in the holding pattern until the woman opens the door for more. I tend to agree with the men.” [Shanna at 2321]
9. “Men are wired by nature to move on from rejection and try again, but for a woman it hurts and feels unnatural to be UNWANTED by a man, so of course, I strongly disagree with themes that encourage women to actively pursue men.” [Sarina at 2326]
10. “Another little thing I would tell my kids… How you think in your heart, will eventually show up on your face.” [Surfercajun at 2334]