2870. Typical Male Behavior — 04

1. Pre-conquest a gal tells a guy I love you or even acts like she’s hot for him. It has two effects foreign to woman-think. She will be easier to conquer, and it’s an unearned gift, which men don’t appreciate. In effect, before he earns her according to her standards and expectations, admitting her love of him works against her interest. Actually, even his knowing he has a chance with her works to his advantage.
2. Men tend to figure out women by her actions rather believing her words. Women pay more attention to words and tend to rely on them. She likes to spread her love directly, up close and personal. Men don’t appreciate her love that way; they prefer to see it more indirectly. He isn’t excited about her words but mostly her actions that he figures satisfies him.
3. The most primal need of men is for a place to flop, eat, throw their things, do some R&R, and prepare to fight their dragons tomorrow. The woman who satisfies that need, her love is genuine and believable.
4. A woman’s love spread indirectly registers with all men. For example, in public—but not during guy time—a woman in love stays close as if attached to her man, holds his arm or hand, and listens closely to what he’s saying. Other men see her doing that. They envy him and his respect grows among his competitors. Peers wish they had a woman like her; one who showed such respect for them. Given time and opportunity, however, they may also try to take her away from him.
5. What love is to women, respect is to men. However, not exactly. Women give their love freely and openly. Men give respect to those who earn it and earned more indirectly than directly.
6. A man enters marriage with several convictions. He doesn’t intend to fail. He will continue to keep himself satisfied with who he is, what he does, and with his marriage as a whole. IOW, he enters the marital home expecting to remain pretty close to the same guy as before. He will adjust as necessary to enable wife to govern the home and relationships within it. IOW, he expects her to run everything except those things for which he’s responsible; e.g., his car, job, and whatever else he chooses, perhaps yardwork etc.
7. The most obvious form of a man’s love is his devotion to her, to repeatedly pleasing her for the purpose of pleasing them both. If she finds herself in that condition, she should upgrade his worth to her.

2506. Men are Never More Handsome…. A Revisit

At 2505 Her Highness Honorfemineity mentioned a subject fond in my heart and  worthy of revisit. I first published 2059 two years ago.

At 2058 Her Highness Prettybeans said to me. “Men are never more handsome as when they continue in their tireless efforts to teach and encourage recovery among ladies. Thank you.” Thus, she gives me both a perfect payday and perfect opportunity to further explain men.

When a man does something he considers a responsibility or obligation, it may be nice but he doesn’t expect to be thanked. It’s his duty. It’s the flip side of an unearned gift. Moreover, in today’s world, thank you is as worn out in sincerity as “I apologize.” So men pay little attention to thank you. Unless of course it’s extended as part of a hug from a pretty woman, which makes what he hears even less relevant.

OTOH, surprisingly expressed indirect compliments work wonders. Even reading Prettybeans above, note that the sentence is flooded with meaning for me that makes “Thank you” virtually unnoticeable.

I propose you ladies learn to charm men in general by charming individuals of opportunity. Charm both known and unknown men with indirect compliments wrapped in female boldness that produces the feminine advantage that women long to have. The benefits come to women from the effects they have on the masculine mind.

My favorite indirect compliment is this: “Men are never more handsome than when they please a lady (for whatever they do).” Use it every time a man pleases you. Opens the door, seats you at table, lets you go ahead of him in a waiting line, husband does laundry or brings you flowers. It doesn’t matter. If a man pleases you, suggest that he just might be made more handsome for doing it. You like to be reminded that you’re pretty don’t you? Indirectness works best with men.

• First, you have not hit on him. You merely used a surprisingly pleasant way of expressing gratefulness for manly conduct that pleases you as a woman. After the same man has heard it several times, the surprise may evaporate but the friendly reminder will only fade slightly if at all.
• When you claim yourself as a lady a few times, you will benefit both yourself and set standards for men. Up to which men learn to step when convinced you are what you claim repeatedly.
• The phrasing makes it sound routine for other men. Strangers read it that you are routinely pleased by other men and it generates uncommon friendliness. Men you know are encouraged to do more to stay ahead of their competitors and to keep you pleased with them.
• Men love to be called handsome by women, but you didn’t call him that. You call him one of many. He has to infer that he’s included among the pleasers of women, which encourages more because of the success you surprise him with.
• Although delivered directly, you pass an indirect compliment. He has to make it personal. If he’s handsome for pleasing you, then his male competitors are too. To compete better, he’s encouraged to please you and perhaps others as opportunities arise. He sees women as targets to uplift as unique and deserving of his ability to please. It’s a natural follow-on to his success among competitors. He only has to connect pleasing women to earning self-admiration to make him a better man in the eyes of females.

It works in writing, just as Prettybeans wrote to me above. But, ladies, if you want the full effect, do it this way. For example, a stranger speeds up to hold open the door for you to enter a public building. Halfway through or after the door closes, stop to gain his attention, smile sincerely, capture his eyeballs with yours, and BOLDLY say, “You know, (pause) men are never more handsome than when they please a lady.” And don’t say thank you. Just continue to smile and walk on with something like “Have a good day.”

He can’t just hear it either. His ears are not his primary sensor. Belief only comes when he sees your earnestness. Eye-to-eye displays feminine courage that men respect.

I understand you ladies can’t accept what I propose. It requires too much boldness among other sensibilities. Were I in your shoes, I probably wouldn’t think of such a thing. Remember, I’m pushing you no harder than showing an example. Primarily, I’m using it to explain the male mind. You have to figure out how to make men please you, as modern men don’t seem too eager except in pursuit of sex. Only women can train men to do the right thing as women see what is right. Most women think it’s right for them to be pleased and especially by men. That’s why I’m here to help.

I promise you this. Provided you do it boldly, smilingly, and with eyeballs locked with his when you say it, you will find significant pleasure in their reactions. You’ll recognize that you’ve charged them up with new pleasure and perhaps fascination in you. When a woman makes a man feel fantastic about himself, she assumes an aura of respectability that modern women lack.

What’s the effect on him? Think it through. You just convinced one man that ladies have standards up to which a man can easily find success, can find pleasure doing for others. To be more significant, to find more self-admiration, he only needs to please more women. How can that not be good? How can that not enhance the importance of a woman?

If you recall their natures, women are born to be good and men to do good. But women have to determine what is good for men to do. When men determine what is good, women find it mostly ‘ungood’ for them.

If women are ever to stop or even slow modern society’s slide from goodness toward evil, they must let men know that female standards not only exist but need to be honored. The way to gain honor is to encourage men to do good, specifically do what women expect. The simple “Men are never more handsome…” can jumpstart any woman’s contribution to pleasing men by pleasing herself to please men in ways that benefit Womanhood.

2485. Friendly Reminders — 04

• Expecting Mr. Good Enough to make himself worthy of her creates relationship glue. The drawn out habit-forming process should have no precise rush or goal for her; just enable him to develop his worthiness. If marriage results, it will be his idea or it likely won’t last. The prove-his-worth glue should help her harmonize their togetherness (unless, of course, she assumes another persona after marriage).
• Men can’t duplicate God’s unconditional love, but they can show the earthly equivalent. That is, unconditional respect for individuals, especially those that reveal they don’t deserve it. (Strictly by the male nature, men only respect those who earn their personal respect.)
• Men are slow to adapt, but they follow for better or worse the moral and religious standards exemplified by women and especially their woman. (Men like for all women to live by the same values, standards, and expectations that are elevated above masculinity. In the past, men morphed into gentlemen in the wake of women who styled themselves as ladies. It makes women more mysterious, unpredictable, and not understandable. All of which makes them more attractive to men, when their inside attractiveness uplifts their outside appearance.)
• Projecting gratitude and respect reflects on hubby as her dependence. It  makes wife more valuable to him, even though she proves herself relatively independent in harmonizing the home.
• Professing psychological need of a man—‘I can’t do without you’— weakens her case to keep him. She acts too possessive. He’s neither pleased nor capable, and he dodges it until she gets sickening about it. Then he departs.
• These multiplex ingredients blend into maximum marital glue. Her likeability reinforces his significance. In his eyes he’s a better man for having her. His significance reinforces her need for a brighter future. She’s a better woman for having it brighter. Without those connections intensely exchanged, other single ingredients can be insufficient, e.g., love, respect, affection, vows, dependence.

 

2335. Suggestions for Raising Children — Part IX

Tactical Parenting: Encouraging Tweens

Tweens: The tween phase is marked by outside influences forcing parents to change their minds about accepting the way their child thinks. Home life is as non-disruptive as good parenting prepares toddlers to value home life over all else. It is as disruptive as parents don’t enable their toddler’s to succeed in self-development and compound their consequent good feelings about themselves into loyalty to home and family.

But that’s enough about what parents should have done. Now, what can they do? (Numbered only for easy reference.)

1. Abandon nurturing as the primary technique of connecting. To the greatest extent possible, use leadership by example. Tweens are through listening; they want to choose their paths alone except as they seek guidance over unexpected humps.
2. Mom’s expressions of love such as hugs and kisses are expected but losing their importance. Respect, trust, and admiration carry much more convincing weight with tweens.
3. Both parents demonstrate how to live up to something bigger that themselves—God, principles, standards, predictability, dependability, peaceful accord, loving one another, family. Always something bigger than personal opinion, feelings, or anger-stirred insistence. It enables and legitimizes parents to take the heat off of competition caused by child putting peers in the middle against parents.
4. Keep the home friendly and familiar, a refuge. Outsiders are not the enemy, but they are less important except to tweens.
5. Dependably and daily show interest by inquiring about accomplishments and spotlighting success from purposely doing things that contribute to development toward maturity and adulthood rather than getting along, building popularity, etc.
6. Show trust by not getting excited about undesirable peer influence. As a matter of fact, the less parents get upset, the more easily kids learn that parents are both legitimate and worthy of being listened to.
7. Spotlight tween’s ability to recognize right and wrong, fair and unfair, desirable and undesirable for the long term, what’s right for them. Encourage them to think more than feel.
8. Without finding fault, encourage tweens to weigh options and decide what is greater success outside the home and how to get there. Be patient, it takes a while for kids to bridge the gap and learn to keep parents happy and peers friendly.
9. Don’t find fault in peers, find fault in their values, standards, and expectations that differ from those taught the toddler and upheld for the tween.
10. Find ways to enable boys to find satisfaction with themselves through accomplishments. School work is best. Having a job is great. Helping mom at home is essential. Make sure they have responsibility to match their maturity and they learn to fulfill it without animosity. If boys find satisfaction in what they are doing that has parental blessing, parents should not worry much.
11. Find ways to enable girls to make themselves feel important in school, home, and to parents in the hope that their importance relating with others will not overtake family relations. If girls find self-importance in what they are doing that has parental blessing, parents should not worry much. A girl’s relations makes her feel good, but what she accomplishes develops her self-image and sense of self-worth.
12. Teach that authority figures may not always be right, but they must be obeyed. If the child doesn’t like it, they can do differently when they are adults and have the authority to judge as appropriate for time, place, and incident. (To undercut authority figures is to also undercut parental authority. Whatever the parental good intentions, elevating child over authority figure teaches them to depend on others from which they also learn to plot, play, and manipulate parents against teachers and others.)
13. Aspirations and ambitions to duplicate heroes energize children too. As toddler, heroes are found in parents. Tween boys especially look elsewhere for new heroes. Girls are not so adventurous to look elsewhere unless their current relations leave much to be desired.
14. Heroes inspire ambitions to be a better person, which promotes mature growth. Celebrity worship highlights aspirations to have what someone else has and inspires envy and jealousy. Find ways as parent to be more admirable, hopefully hero-like as a mature adult, and don’t let children see celebrity worship in the home.
15. When parents admire celebrities and tend to worship them, children see parents as admitting inadequacy. Subliminally the message settles into their hearts that they too must be inadequate. They don’t have enough. They easily mistake celebrities for heroes against whom they measure their own inadequacies and seek satisfaction in celebrity worship. Tweens are very vulnerable to making such a mistake, especially when parents set the example of it.
16. Isolate boys and girls as objects of distinctly different characteristics, interest, respect, and trust. Reinforce the differences in every way practicable. The more they are NOT treated as distinctively different, the more mixed up sexually the girls will be both sooner and later in life.
17. Females can’t have what politics promises relative to males and their nature tells them what’s right. The two are mutually exclusive. (The subject is too complex for here, but it has been described in articles titled Dark Side of Feminism and elsewhere throughout the blog.)
18. Don’t nurture boys except to help recover from bad physical hurt, and then only minimally to show trust that he can handle whatever happened. Boys develop more manly when they convince themselves of their ability to meet all challenges and overcome or recover.
19. Nurture girls in early tweens and morph away from it as time passes. They are slower than boys to develop self-confidence and independence for handling and acting on their feelings. (Boys act with little regard for feelings and so they learn from trial and error more quickly than girls.)
20. Lead by example. Self-developing kids want to become adults and do best when they figure out how by following examples they select, which means they respect the models they use.
21. Don’t aim at raising good kids; they become poor adults. Try to aim them at becoming good adults, and they will become at least acceptable and perhaps better-than-average kids.
22. Kids more than parents have to keep up with their peers. The more that children hear parents talk enviously or jealously about what other adults do—e.g., keeping up with the Jones—the more deliberately that kids want to follow suit with peers.

Parental preparation for the tweens—i.e., raising toddlers—largely determines how children pass from first grade to puberty. The biggest challenge in the tween years is the child learning to play peers against parents. Unless inculcated with significant respect, trust, and dependence on parents to feel good about themselves, tween loyalty morphs predominantly into peer loyalty. They learn to succeed and feel good by heeding and duplicating peers to prove their worth outside the home. Unfortunately, too many and too easily find it more to their liking, which symbolizes less than ideal upbringing as toddler.

——

P.S. Her Majesty Grace had specific expressions she used in private with each of three sons. Her oldest and most precious. Her middlest and most precious. And her youngest and most precious. At that moment they were her most precious. And, it gave her an acceptable and endearing way to close every nurturing or counseling session. It has humored our family ever since it was disclosed to the boys in their forties.

2166. Dating in Mid-life — Part C4: Fail to Plan and You Plan to Fail

Dating success follows certain principles that govern the interaction for a developing relationship. Many functions are key.

You’re the tick, he’s the tock. You specialize in showing interest in him and then listening. You respect and enable him to communicate directly and you respond as indirectly as polite. He’s selling himself, so let him. If necessary, you show interest in him and he responds. You enable him to lead and make your spirit of cooperation to shine in his favor.

Howsomeever, as I used to hear country folk declare an upcoming contrary thought, you compete directly and even get in his face if necessary to 1) defend your sexual standards and expectations against his insistence and persistence, or 2) terminate what’s happening and put an end to the date or relationship.

Forget these two things that mean so much to you.

1. You can’t make him like you, especially if you try. Trying alone makes you do the wrong things. Example: Relying on three little words may help but it’s really insignificant; men judge on actions primarily and seldom on words. Be yourself. Make him win your affection, make himself worthy of you; he doesn’t appreciate unearned gifts.
2. Don’t try to impress him and don’t even disclose whatever affection you may have for him, except to say you like him—somewhat, starting to, perhaps even teasingly, but never a helluva lot. Mystery, remember? To like him some and respect him a lot are enough for him. He believes it better anyway if he figures for himself that your actions signify your affection to be real.

Instead of affection, express your admiration. That’s what he’s after. The masculine counterpoint to the female’s determined affection for sharing affection is earning self-admiration and yours is appreciated. Admiration simply registers with men more deeply than affection.

He either likes you as you are—virtues and shortcomings—and wants to keep you by his side. Or he doesn’t. When you’re being your true self, you can’t do much more to keep him alongside. If he quits selling himself to you, it’s all over. If you try to sell yourself to him, you act like a pushover, and his objective shifts to sex, which makes you booty or disposable after conquest.

Don’t be phony. A marriage likely won’t succeed very long if the wife shows up as different from the bride he married. So, phoniness is destructive long-range although you may gain some benefits in the near term.

Be quick to defend yourself instinctively and intuitively against any offense to your sense of good order and self-discipline, his displeasing you, embarrassing you, and especially his disrespecting you. Those things you don’t want to live with need to be disclosed when they first appear. The more you stand up for yourself pleasantly but uncompromisingly, the more respect you will earn and a man’s love is based on respect for women generally and you specifically.

Two things hold a man’s attention long enough to impress him with your respectability: refusing sex and standing up strongly for your dignity, values, and standards as both person and woman. Your objections not only earn his respect but make him uncomfortable, and discomfort changes a man’s behavior to favor you.

Out of all the above, you focus, perhaps re-learn some things and unlearn others, and use your superior relationship expertise to guide and shape dates into progressive steps of relationship development. It’s easy for me to spout it on screen, but you get both the fun and anxiety.

 

2127. Mirror Time — Part V: Early Reveille

Women long for happiness. It has to be earned, which means it comes at a cost. I propose a simple but not easy change in daily routine.

The way you appear at an event sends a message of how respected and important others present are to you. Have you thought about breakfast? Getting others to school or work in the morning? Sending those messages in an indirect manner that pleases you even more than them?

It’s not likely. Instead of paying the fare to jump aboard, you start the day by throwing yourself under the happy bus. You rush tiredly out of bed and rush yourself into an over-used or unsightly robe. Hair a mess, you disregard your appearance and mumble about your problems. You rush to help others before you help yourself. Rush to help everybody else and their daily start up, disrupt breakfast routine with irritation or anger, and add pressure to everyone’s departure so they rush to escape you. Consequently, by just not finding satisfaction with yourself first, you do all the wrong things for self and others. If you escape with sanity intact, you feel guilty, droopy, and worse but definitely dissatisfied for the rest of the day.

All your energy wiped out by one simple miscalculation. You didn’t start your day by proving to yourself that you’re still pretty and in charge in spite of what’s happening in your life. You didn’t renew vows to yourself that you like who and what you are even if others don’t. If you don’t know how to renew those vows, stick around. Details follow.

A simple but not easy way exists to jump on rather than under the bus. Take the rush out of your life and replace it with calm, smiles, and obvious dedication to those you love. You need only take charge and put it into habitual practice. Turn simple pretty time into extended mirror time and do it before others arise. You’ll see the people around you appreciate you much more just by you appreciating yourself much more.

First thing and before anyone else arises, spend 30 minutes before your mirror exchanging thoughts with your reflected image aka best friend. You have to make four sacrifices. 1) Go to sleep earlier. 2) Dedicate yourself to convert boring dead time into productive time for your mind, heart, and dreams. 3) Find the multitude of ways that make you like who and what you are by producing various results that enhance your prettiness, appearance, confidence, belief in self, and determination. 4) Quit quitting when trying to drop an old and develop a new habit. (Such as quitting New Year’s resolution.)

You’ll be surprised how it enables you to improve upon the world in which you live from reveille to taps. If you can’t figure out how to produce those results, sit there for 30 minutes every day and you will soon figure it out. Boredom will eventually open your eyes, mind, and heart, if you don’t quit. You’ll see that blaming others does nothing more than relieve you of doing the right thing, of taking and keeping control over your life.

Reasons and excuses always exist for not helping yourself when you don’t deserve it in the first place. Blaming others or endless wishes compensate when you don’t help yourself first. However, if not already very happy, you probably have at least one side of your life still buried in the multiplex of misery—unwanted singleness, disappointment, unhappiness, abandonment, loneliness, isolation, hopelessness, despair, divorce, depression, husbandless, childless, dreariness, gloom, self-discipline, loss of child, discipline with kids, cheating mate, or prospects of doom in legal or economic arenas.

You chose where you are in life and got there by not making better choices to help yourself; you deserve what you have. Oh, you don’t deserve it? Well, take 30 minutes at the mirror and ask your reflected friend about that point. Are you accurately stating your case? (Also, read Path to Victory at blog top.)

I understand you’re discouraged at the thought of committing 30 minutes. You’ve gone quiet, but I can hear you, ladies. Mumbling and grumbling at the thought of taking so much time out of your busy day. You say, it’s unreal and you can’t do it. You can’t do without that last 30 minutes of sleep. You must tend your infant during that time of day. You don’t need 30 minutes to plan your day, your future, or even your whole life. And, on and on. You tell yourself you’re doing well enough, at least for now. But are you? Are you happy enough now with your importance to self, family, and date or mate? Your prettiness? Your daily appearance? How you look in church? At work? On dates? Start your day at the mirror and you’ll take the rush out of your life and that of family members.

The 30 minutes is about planning your life while painting the barn and looking for ways to improve your prettiness. It’s about using your imagination to analyze your situations, exploit your self-gratitude, and upgrade your day and future to first exit the multiplex of misery and then refine your life into your girlhood hopes and dreams. Millions of dollars won’t do that for you. Neither will face lifts, liposuction, analysis, breast implants, or wrinkle removers. It’s in your heart to do it, if your mind will only enable it.

If self-gratitude, self-importance, and respect for others isn’t resurrected in your heart by using your mind, then your happiness will not develop as you wish. Happiness has to be earned out of gratitude, and it starts best at the mirror. As you take greater charge of your life each day, self-importance and respect for others also grows and puts you on the entry ramp to a great day for yourself.

Why 30 minutes? To provide enough time for your inborn female nature to energize itself into multi-tasking. You can’t just sit there and do nothing. Your mind will take advantage of the boredom that inevitably sets in when you run out of ideas for improving your prettiness and appearance—aka pleasing yourself first. Thirty minutes allows for emotional motivators to come awake in your heart. Emotions that move you to action such as shame, guilt, sorrow, competition, grief, anxiety, gratefulness, cooperation, prettiness, duty, debt, love, and hunger for importance and appreciation. Plus, internal values that need frequent reinforcement or recovery because they shape your mental health such as self-love, self-esteem, self-interest, self-image, self-gratitude, and expanded belief in yourself. Those and other blessings are available and usable through self-talk with your reflected image. Use the committed 30 minutes plus your mind to energize your curiosity and imagination in search of making your life more important to yourself and those around you and at the same time look more appealing. Thirty minutes without interruption about improving your prettiness, appearance, and life will work wonders to improve the various attitudes that flow from your heart.

Serendipity. You finish mirror time feeling GREAT about yourself. It’s the strongest possible foundation for facing life with confidence, patience, and understanding. Why? Because you grace yourself with qualities fed by your prettiness with inner peace left over. The ultimate expression of power is forgiveness. When you ignore the little and forgive the big things—and especially forgive yourself—harmony floods your home. When you as single woman or mom isolate yourself at the mirror each morning, you earn the ability to switch the world ON to make things go your way. With kindness ignited by belief in yourself, can your forgiving spirit be far behind? With kindness and forgiveness renewed in your heart, it makes both personal and family harmony easier and more permanent.

We all do what makes us feel good about ourselves. I propose that women isolate themselves for 30 minutes upon arising in the morning. They have the talent and skills but need to use them more productively to calm the waters of their high pressure, super-rushed lives.

——

P.S. So, you can’t do 30 minutes? Impossible, you say. Okay. The number is not as important as your dedication to yourself and commitment to neither change whatever minutes you choose nor quit the daily routine. But anything less than 20 minutes will likely sink your ship before you start. Without the boredom that will set in, your mind, heart, and spirit will stay focused on escaping the problems of life rather than producing improvements for a better life. In that case, you will find little or nothing to reward you for sticking to your time commitment, and you will soon quit.

G.

 

2114. Female Blessings at Birth — 97

Her Highness That Horse is Dead inspired this 97^th blessing to be added to Female Blessings at Birth at blog top.

Your comments help and I continue to seek your T or F as each registers within your heart of hearts.

I present it in first person, female.

97. I’m grateful that I always know what I want and expect out of a man. Not so much particular behaviors but results that accumulate and brighten my future. [Guy adds: Consequently, women test endlessly to determine and ensure they are on track as each woman expects it with each man. Her Blessing: She knows what she wants and has the patience, instinct to rely on indirectness, and flexibility to accept less than ideal behaviors in order to fulfill her expectations of results. His Admiration: The better she knows how to get what she wants, the more respect she deserves.
98. (I know there are more blessings to come. I await suggestions and inspiration. Target remains set at 100.)

If you disagree with #97, please register it with an big, fat F for false.

 

2104. Will You Respect Me in the Morning?

Sir Eric at 2101 pondered life this way. “This is something I’ve never quite understood: I can’t imagine having sex with any woman I didn’t at least value in some way. It would seem actually to work the opposite way: a woman giving sex to a given man should, in theory, increase his respect for her.

What you say makes you a better man. It has significant appeal to women, and they seem to even shape their lives around that idea. Doing so, however, is flawed.

You probably learned such respectful values growing up; mother or other women taught you. You benefited from old school teachings. It used to be that way and girls knew to capitalize and complete the process to the advantage of females and children. Mothers tamed boys, girls guided teens toward marriage, and wives domesticated husbands for harmony in the home. It aimed at teaching males to respect females by females earning it.

Men don’t need to respect a woman to bed her. How often are you aware of men jumping into bed after taking only a short time to determine how respectable much less respected the women are?

Unless a man is taught in his youth to unconditionally respect women as unique and very different and very respectable creatures, it takes time for him to learn to respect each one. It’s the main disqualifier of masculine-style sexual freedom for women; they don’t earn the respect of men or each man they bed. Yielding sex does not earn masculine respect; in fact, cheap and easy conquest awards her disrespect. Moreover, if she’s easy for him, then she’s not respectable enough to be faithful to him. If the man has not paid his supreme sacrifice, namely yielding his independence on her behalf, she’s shortchanged of his respect.

The nature of man works like this. Men have two very differently motivated sex drives. The first is to conquer attractive women, That primal urge quits for each conquered woman but remains active for others. The second is the normal physiological and psychological urge that women know so well.

To conquerors, the vanquished earn as much respect as they are difficult to conquer; the higher her price, the more respect she earns. It’s not sex that earns respect, it’s her character that controls access to her sexual assets.

Having given up her most prized possession to him in their first sex together, he views her very differently and she’s easily disposable, candidate for booty, or a keeper for another reason. The other reason is respect based on her qualities other than sex. Qualities he can admire as virtues.

As to their subsequent sex, it’s routine because he as conqueror ‘owns’ the ‘right’. He may learn to like and enjoy it and it may entitle her to a great position in his life, but any additional respect that she accumulates comes from other than their sex together.

Female genitalia does not earn loyalty. However, it’s potential for loyalty can be realized, and she is born with the ability and talent. She lures without conquest in ways that produce devotion to her based on virtues that idealize her promise as his ‘support system’ to fulfill his life’s ambitions. IOW, a long chaste courtship which she arranges and manages in order to brighten her future by showing the promise to strengthen his life. As her virtues accumulate in his mind, his respect grows.

Eric’s standard is admirable. While it may not be rare, women are making it more so with masculine-style sexual freedom. Maximum respect of females is mutually exclusive with unmarried sex.