Tag Archives: women

2150. Pinkie Finger Recovery


Ladies, this is just a test drive of an idea. I need feedback. I have many reasons that I think will support using the suggested technique but it will take me days to write, proof, and publish them. However, before I do that, I want to hear your reactions to how easily the actions proposed could fit into your persona and relationship.

Immature women seek to have things go their way and are not too quiet about it. They find fault, seek redress, and care not a whit for the reaction of their man. They live by criticism and expectations for him but with little or no expectations that they themselves can or should change themselves.

OTOH, mature relationship experts know better. They master the art of indirectness, and I’ve just developed a new technique. For reasons I’ll explain later, I suggest women adopt this practice.

Gently, patiently, and as indirectly as possible teach your man that you will silently flash your pinkie finger at him whenever he displeases or disrespect you. No words, no complaining, no explaining, just a wave of the pinkie. He is free to do whatever he pleases about it.

Then, when appropriate, flash the pinkie as your way of saying that you have been made to feel bad. If he displeases you, look him in the eye and smile—just friendly as it can’t be very sincere—as you flash it. If he shows disrespect, look him in the eye but don’t smile. Flash your pinkie and always change the subject or go on about your business of the moment and let him do the same.

Develop the technique into a habit. Four cautions: 1) Use it ONLY when he displeases you or disrespects you as person, woman, wife, mother, or other legitimate role you live in your home. 2) If you start having success with him trying harder not to make you feel bad, then don’t get too ambitious and critical and flash it for other reasons. Stay on the targets of displease and disrespect. Keep your wits and good judgment about you. 3) Don’t flash it angrily as in flipping the bird. Just a friendly wave works best to stir his curiosity, which fires his memory to figure out what he did, and—hopefully—ignites his imagination to figure out how to compensate or do better the next time. 4) When he pumps you to find out what he did wrong, do your best to remain silent with a smile as if to say you’re confident that he can figure it out. (Note: If he can pull the reason out of you, he has an easier time of figuring it out. Men believe and act on what they figure out for themselves, and so your complaints and explanations weaken his reaction. It’s not really what you want.)

Consider it, think on it, or if you have the courage try it a few times. Then, critique it in your mind and send me your response. I have no problem if it’s a bad idea. I’ve had hundreds and perhaps thousands in my time. So please feel free to tell me what you think.

For mental exercise on your end, try to figure out why it should, does, won’t, or doesn’t work. What are the beneficial reasons and the objections? Such feedback will help my refinement of the reasons for a new technique that puts a woman more in charge of her life.

 

8 Comments

Filed under How she wins

2147. Three Little Words: How They Work


Those three little words are overrated. Oh, I don’t suggest they not be used. I suggest that due diligence be paid to the likely impact they have on the sexes, because they register differently both in delivery and reception.

A man’s words impact his mind but don’t program his heart. A woman’s words program both mind and heart. Her “I love you” leads her to also act it out, which reinforces that she does love him. It doubles the dosage of obligating her to him, because her heart and mind are much more closely interconnected than those of males.

Men are quite different in how they hear three little and other words. He hears them, but they don’t register deeply within him; they do little to impress him. His ears are not the sensitive and believable sensors that hers are. If her loving actions accompany or follow her words, then he can begin to believe her love. Men believe what they see and figure out; they don’t believe what they are told until they see evidence of actions that support and reinforce.

On the delivering end, a man says, “I love you.” It isn’t the same obligation that her words carry, because unlike women his words don’t program his heart. Unless his words originate with his heart as the result of his having acted over time as if he loves her, his words mean little although they may carry intent. (But what’s that old saying about the road to hell is paved with good intentions?)

That’s why commitment promised by men ends up disappointing women who act on a man’s words. Commitment primarily serves men, because in matters of love their words are relatively cheap while women value them the same way that women value their own words.

Manly devotion serves women, but it requires time, his actions, and her patience for a man to program his heart with actions that please him for pleasing her and that end up favoring her above all others. Her femininity, uniqueness, and patience keep him interested long enough for him to find virtues that accumulate into fascination and to whom he devotes his interest above all else. Then a man loves her (as women wish they would from the get go).

To men, words are for the purpose of getting what they want. They are hunter-conquerors and competitors. Words are their weapons when physicality is inappropriate; when might can’t make right; and when faced with feminine mystique, female modesty, and appealing vanity that they can’t comprehend much less understand well enough to compete for fear of losing.

In other words, the immovable objects of the dominant sex can be moved by the irresistible force of the superior sex when women pay less attention to masculine words, exploit their feminine nature, and induce men into figuring them out rather than the reverse.

 

7 Comments

Filed under courtship

2144. Your Men Like That?


Ladies, are the boys and men in your life, past and present, like they claim of themselves as listed in Manly Claims from Birth? It’s shown near blog top on home page. What women haven’t heard yet needs to be disclosed as accurately and completely as possible.

The WWNH blog audience craves to know. Can women ever really understand men? After all, the better that women understand men, the easier for men to accept only what relationship experts want to disclose about themselves as females.

‘B’ means believable if you agree. ‘U’ means unbelievable if you don’t agree. I hope you can find the time to comment by any or all of the numbers. Each response is both invitation and incentive to clarify accuracy and find more truths.

Guy

 

1 Comment

Filed under Dear daughter

2138. Compatibility Axioms #631-640


631. Attractive but no-disclosure apparel makes men uncomfortable, because it makes women much more complex, mysterious, and perhaps out-of-reach sexually. Hence, more challenging and requiring more investment of his time and effort. [220]

632. Cleavage signals her breasts as mere stopover to conquest. With prospects made easier, his expectations rise. His natural sense of dominance doesn’t have to yield as his investment for sex. IOW, cleavage signals she’s willing for him to take charge of their sexual agenda even before conquest. He only has to pay some simple price that pleases her. [220]

633. Men dislike having their boldness held in check by a mere woman, especially when she makes it tougher with a façade of impenetrable mystery created with clothing, grooming, and lack of eagerness to bond. However, having to restrain their boldness makes men more gentlemanly and willing to paying a bigger price for conquest. [220]

634. Cleavage makes a man comfortable, “So little to do.” Modest attire makes a man uncomfortable, “How and what must I do to have my way with her.” [220]

635. First impressions are lasting ones. First dates plant the seeds of everything from no calls to marriage. Women have to take charge to make sure they gain the advantage. [221]

636. Both sexes tend to marry people like their mothers. But women take it too far. They mother their man and wilt on the vine of his resentment.  [221]

637. If she’s after fun and excitement on first date, she’s planting seeds for anything and everything except permanent marriage. [221]

638. Trying ever harder to succeed with men, females turn sex into adventurism and free-brothel convenience for males. Booty calls, public fellatio, and groupies come to mind.  [221]

639. Men hang with guys but date women. When women turn themselves into booty, men let them hang out too. (One Duke University senior claimed she never had a date in college and knew no one that had. Plenty of sex, but no dates? Man’s game or woman’s?)  [221]

640. NOTE: To see what women become hanging out with guys, read Ariel Levy’s book, Female Chauvinist Pigs — Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture. [221]

 

5 Comments

Filed under boobs

2136. Attention, Ladies — My Dilemma


I published article 2131 on male blessings received at birth. Just three guys and one lady reflected any reaction and only one reported their opinion about more than one of the items on the list. Perhaps many of you missed it due to holiday pressures. I request you take a relook and rethink.

You may have trouble with me calling them blessings. But remember this, men and women are made to be compatible. So, everything we inherit at birth must be a blessing even though it might be something women wish men didn’t have. There is a reason, though, or at least I believe there is.

Post 2131 may be more easily dealt with if I enlarge the ‘scoring’ system. Instead of true/false with T or F. You may find it easier to reflect your opinion as believable (B) or unbelievable (U). Mark it that way if you desire. In either case, I would appreciate comment or opinion before I do all the work of compiling it in the final format I envisioned earlier. A version to be permanently posted similar to Female Blessings at Birth on home page menu.

Guy

2 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter

2122. Alibi for Men?


Do I alibi for men? Probably. Do I alibi for women? Definitely. I know women repeatedly ask me to tell men what they do wrong in women’s eyes. I can answer that directly. I can’t produce results. Men don’t even want to listen, much less accept what other men say about women. Except of course, as they talk, tout, and tip about sexual suggestibility or availability of other than their own woman.

If men wanted to hear about what does and doesn’t work associating with women, more would comment on this blog. But they don’t. It’s self-demeaning to even show interest, like asking for directions, to reveal that they don’t know the essentials at least and the ultimate at best. What a guy may lack in one thing, he expects to compensate with his best or overall traits, skills, and worth. IOW, he’s totally equipped with all he needs. Faking something is preferable and easier than admitting shortcomings, which invariably somehow can be traced to some or imagined lack of sexual potential. And for whatever else they may lack, men keep that hidden first and always.

 

16 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter

2111. Little White Lies


This subject deserves an article, so I expand on concerns triggered by Her Highness Prettybeans at 2109. It’s about the merit or demerit of females when they use little white lies to improve or protect the feelings of loved ones. It’s described as part of the female nature in #94 in the list of Female Blessings at Birth at blog top.

Prettybeans triggered a new vision of both sex differences and an ethical conundrum. I throw out the following analysis to invite dialogue and help women figure out their own lives a little better.

  • Men deal more in facts, women more in feelings. Facts expressed at least cause paper cuts in relationships. Paper cuts hurt but can be prevented with little white lies, about which women are experts.
  • The female conscience seems more sensitive because women are more prone to guilt than men. Honesty and dishonesty to men aren’t gray issues. But they are to women as are so many other things where feelings dominate.
  • Both sexes are made to be compatible with the other. So the womanly ability to use little white lies is part of their design. It means, at least to me, that honesty for women depends on their motive. If they gain personal advantage, it’s dishonest. If it disturbs their conscience or produces guilt, it’s dishonest. If they try to motivate someone to do something, it’s manipulation and therefore dishonest. If they simply smooth interpersonal feelings without personal gain, it’s not dishonest although it’s not totally honest either.

Not sure if the logic would hold against a superior mind, but it makes sense to me. The difference between acceptable and unacceptable little white lies is determined by the motive behind them. Personal gain is the dividing line and each woman has the conscience and sense of guilt to judge whether she’s being honest or dishonest.

Now take that to the relationship interface. As we all know, honesty should prevail. Women now have a standard, if my analysis holds up under scrutiny of better minds. To my thinking, a wife’s little white lies with no guilt and clear conscience don’t disturb a husband’s feelings as dishonesty. He’s not eager to accuse wife for something that brings pleasantness without hurt to him.

Sir Eric at 2109 agreed that little white lies “done with good intention” are acceptable. We can presume that good intention means without personal gain for the woman and without attempt to manipulate. Accepting Eric and I as authority figures, it follows that men find well-intended little white lies acceptable. It means they can abstain from judging wife as dishonest for neutralizing ill feelings, even though it seemingly indicts them as co-conspirators in dishonesty. People dedicated to one another live easily with such a dilemma.

 

 

14 Comments

Filed under sex differences