FEMALE BLESSINGS AT BIRTH

The factors in the list below are qualities that females inherit at birth; they characterize the feminine nature. They are the source for you to improve instinct, intuition, female-friendly judgments, and discrimination against infringements on compatibility. The more and the deeper they reside in your heart, then the better will be your decisions and choices for relationships and life.

They become attitudes when repeatedly spoken, analyzed, and applied to your life. As heart-buried attitudes they guide you better in the pursuit of girlhood hopes and dreams or whatever else brightens your future.

Self-gratitude arises out of your belief and use of many or all of the factors. The more that you recognize that these qualities exist in your heart, the more feminine you are. All work to your advantage when kept in the background of your dealings with men. Better as mysterious standards and expectations to live up to rather than as hammers to inflict guilt or clobber guys.

The blessings merge into your life when you judge each factor this way. Yes, it’s natural to my heart as a woman. It fits who I am and what I try to do. I may have trouble living within what I know is right but eventually I’ll get there. Anyway, it’s more me when I depend on my heart for guidance. Now, how can I use it to further improve my life?

  1. I am a great kisser and can be a good lay with proper respect, attention, and intimacy. [Guy adds: It assumes that females are created to participate successfully in the process of living compatibly with a man. Her blessing: Knowing she’s good makes her better and confident. His admiration: You can do no better than to become better just by kissing me.]
  2. I am fearful of a very few things, most of which have to do with safety and health. I acknowledge that fear can paralyze, and so I work continuously to avoid unnecessary fear. [Guy adds: It assumes that most female fears are learned during life. Women are born almost fearless except for their bodies, babies, and survivability. Her blessing: She appears fearless except for life, limb, and safety of loved ones. His admiration: You’re a tough bird. I know better than try to scare you into doing what I wish we could do.]
  3. My spirit soars when I encourage rather than demand that husband fulfill his family responsibility. [Guy adds: It assumes that the soaring of this spirit in girlhood hopes and dreams indicates that it’s inborn. Her blessing: She’s an encourager. His admiration: You’re so upbeat I can’t go wrong keeping you around.]
  4. I have enough pride and self-sufficiency to envy no one except for their character and integrity. [Guy adds: It assumes that belief in oneself must be inborn or else women would lack strength to face guilt which they have in numbers and fears which they have in depth. Her blessing: She appears comfortable with herself, both who she is and what she does. His admiration: You’re pretty unique, not like those other dimwits who don’t like themselves.]
  5. Recognizing that I have self-control and sufficient composure, I find gratefulness in not showing jealousy of any woman until I see clear evidence that she poses a threat to my marriage. [Guy adds: Self-gratitude for self-control and composure strengthens a woman as the relationship expert. The stronger the self-gratitude, the greater her expertise. Whereas jealousy adds nothing to self-gratitude or relationship expertise. Born with the ability to get jealous does not mean born to be jealous. Her blessing: Born to be good, she abhors jealousy in herself and others. His admiration: If you’re not easy to get jealous, I don’t have to worry about being falsely accused.]
  6. I am a pretty woman. However, I’m also grateful that I have to prove it to myself daily in order to maintain my personal strength and morale. [Guy adds: All women are born knowing in their heart that they are pretty. Yet, not being perfect, they need frequent reminders both from self and others. The better and more frequent the reminders, the greater is their self-gratitude. Thus, the tap root of female happiness lies with conviction of her prettiness. And nothing adds more to her prettiness than time spent before a big mirror talking to her best friend, her mirrored image. Her blessing: She needs regular access to mirrors to confirm her self-importance and -worth. His admiration: You’re so good to look at.]
  7. I have the strength to do the right thing and live up to the expectations of those I have been given the gift of caring for (suggested by MLaRowe). [Guy adds: The born-in prime motivator of women is to earn self-importance, which requires from others confirmation of her worth. Consequently, women gain and amplify their importance by doing right things morally and caringly. Her blessing: Knowing the right thing to do adds to her strength for doing it. His admiration: If I ever need guidance, I can depend on you.]
  8. I as a nurse can help others (suggested by Nancy). [Guy adds: Witnessing the results of nursing amplifies her sense of self-importance, guides her in doing the right thing, and adds to the gratefulness she feels for herself. Thus, the urge toward nursing is a trait inherited at birth. Her blessing: She is great or perhaps slightly less at nursing. His admiration: That’s great because I’m not and don’t want to be.]
  9. I have a nice and more attractive body hiding inside me that I can bring into the light of my world. I’m especially grateful that I intend to restore it, show it off neatly and attractively, and expect to have it done soon. [Guy adds: She always expects to make herself more attractive, but guilt easily triggers dissatisfaction when her appearance goes untended. Yearning for near-perfection, she’s seldom satisfied except momentarily. Striving to attract men, feedback enables her to manage her appearance successfully. (However, her nature doesn’t guide her on one momentous fact of life. It’s not body shape that attracts men; it’s how whatever her shape is cared for and presented.) Her blessing: She is capable of having a most attractive face and body. His admiration: I love to see the evidence that you take it seriously.]
  10. I can convert the worth I see in others into value for my life and vice versa. [Guy adds: She’s born to be adaptable, and mutual worth mutually appreciated breeds cooperation and confirms compatibility. Women, as the relationship experts, drive the compatibility bus. Her blessing: She is of considerable value in the lives of others when they cooperate with her and her ways. His admiration: I have other things to do with my life. Just don’t expect too much cooperation from me. I’m not big on it. I’m much too independent by nature, thank you very much.]
  11. I depend on my husband by doing for him rather than expecting him to do for me. [Guy adds: It enlarges her sense of self-importance to do for him, and he interprets it as respect and gratitude that he deserves. Reversed, ‘him doing for her’ all the time translates as his appreciation for her. Being appreciated is temporary to her and has little influence over events that add to her importance and shape her thinking about everything else. Consequently, she becomes much more influential when ‘she does for him’ rather than the reverse. She’s born to do it that way, the intuitive way. Her blessing: She can easily love her man. She is primarily a helper, supporter, encourager, and do-gooder. His admiration: You show enough promise as the mate I need for my life, if it merges sufficiently well with your fascination and likeability. You’re valuable to me.]
  12. I don’t depend on my boyfriend. He does for me rather than me doing for him. [Guy adds: It calls for the opposite reasoning of #11 above. His actions ‘doing for her’ program his heart toward devotion for her. Without actions to please himself for pleasing her, his heart doesn’t reprogram and his devotion doesn’t develop. Furthermore, conquest slows or stops his actions to please her to the same extent, because her yielding sex their first time together tells him that’s all he has to do. He now ‘owns’ their sex agenda so all is well in his world. Her blessing: I am independent. I don’t need a boyfriend until one proves himself worthy of my attention and affection. His admiration: Your high standards make you unique from other gals and thus more respectable.]
  13. I find solace knowing that I must show respect and gratitude for my husband above all others (and realize when I slow or stop that he will tend to wander). [Guy adds: That expression of her nature has roots in her superior skill of adaptability, spirit of cooperation, and sense of importance serving someone else. Her blessing: She develops mental strength by devoting herself to husband. Men are worthy of her respect until they prove otherwise and worthy of her gratitude for pleasing her. His admiration: Just as I want and expect you to be].
  14. I am capable more of giving that taking and am especially grateful for each opportunity to prove myself to myself. [Guy adds: Her giving is rooted in her tender-heartedness and the gratefulness in her sense of importance. Her blessing: She’s more giver than taker. His admiration: Givers such as you are easy to appreciate.]
  15. I am capable of finding new ways every day to show and encourage my husband that he is respected for who he is and what he does. [Guy adds: That conviction arises out of a woman’s determination to brighten her future by constantly striving to improve it or at least keep it from dimming. Thus, she invests in her future by keep her man satisfied that he’s doing right by her. Her blessing: She thinks constantly about ways to improve her relationships. His admiration: You do? I didn’t know that. No wonder you’re easy to live with.]
  16. I am capable of finding new ways almost every day by which to show and encourage my boyfriend that he must respect me for who I am, what I do, and especially what I refuse to do. [Guy adds: Her capability to enhance her future by protecting herself in the present arises out of her adaptable female nature and her near-constant thinking about her man. Her dedication to self-protection arises out of 1) her sense of relative importance with others. 2) The inherited-at-birth belief that she deserves respect as person, female, and girlfriend. 3) The natural expectation that boyfriend’s respect will be confirmed by his actions and reactions aimed at pleasing her. She intuits but social pressures encourage her to ignore this. If he can’t respect her wishes for chasteness before marriage, he won’t give too much respect for what she wishes after that event. IOW, refusing to yield before marriage earns the essential ingredient of masculine love, respect, that extends beyond the altar. Her blessing: She’s endowed to be good and tries daily to do good. His admiration: Your example deserves to be copied, though I doubt I’ll get around to it as well as you.]
  17. I am grateful that men and I battle continually to see if a man conquers me for sex first or I conquer him for marriage. [Guy adds: Her heart is intuitively convinced: 1) Protecting her sexual assets is essential for the fulfillment of her girlhood hopes and dreams—although the connection is easily broken by social and male pressure. 2) Competing and directness best protect her interest before marriage but cooperating and indirectness serve her best after the altar. 3) Failing to yield to each man earns self-respect which also earns the respect of other men. Her blessing: She loves the battle of wits to determine who conquers whom first. His admiration: You’re too good at it. You make my life tougher than it should be. Perhaps you’re too hard for me to get (threatening but implying respectability).]
  18. I am vital to the people in my life and grateful that I can read and interpret the signs of it. [Guy adds: Her vitality arises out of her sense of importance in the lives of others. Her gratefulness arises out of her inherited-at-birth relationship expertise and ability to sense and interpret feedback.] Her blessing: She purposely makes herself important in the lives of others. His admiration: Important is as important does and your actions speak louder than words.]
  19. I’m grateful that I have the ultimate ‘out’. I can seek God’s forgiveness to relieve my self-blame and guilt. It’s up to me to believe—first in God, second in His intention—that I’m forgiven and free to forget an incident or fault. [Guy adds: Born soft-hearted and taught to be tender-hearted, excess guilt hardens the female heart. Forgiveness relieves such guilt except when she lacks belief in God or faith in His forgiveness. Or, she refuses such forgiveness as undeserved, which explains shortage of belief, faith, or both.] Her blessing: She forgives easily but doesn’t forget. His admiration: I wish you were the other way around.]
  20. I’m grateful to realize that morality and religion are essential and I can use them to brighten my future. Both serve us women in the process of civilizing boys, taming men, and domesticating husbands. [Guy adds: Men lack the natural interest that women have for morality and female-friendly religion. However, in order to live up to the expectations of mothers and mates, men adopt and use both. As women go so goes society; as morality and Western religion are promoted and popularized, so goes female-friendliness.] Her blessing: She loves herself for and by living up to someone higher than she. His admiration: Both your beliefs and self-love make you more respectable, likeable, and desirable as companion.]
  21. I’m grateful to be in charge of my home. I accept responsibility for both a civil and well-disciplined household. Husband participates and backs me up when I need greater authority, which is almost never necessary as long as I do my best. (And anyway, when he’s invited to help, he goes too far or takes over.) [Guy adds: Husband provides the head and wife the heart of the home. The attitudes of family members flow out of the family heart and reflect her effectiveness. Blaming husband for dissatisfaction invites him to direct her efforts. Her blessing: She is a take-charge gal in her own home. His admiration: I love it as long as you don’t infringe on my freedom to decide and independence to speak my mind.]
  22. I am worthy of any man but only a few are worthy of me. [Guy adds: Unfortunately, her worthiness is too easily reversible in childhood. Parents are overly challenged and don’t treat children equally as persons but uniquely as boys and girls. It works for the better this way. Fathers pump up their daughters’ sense of self-worth and importance, which girls accept as relative to the source, one man representing all men. Mothers admire their sons’ achievements, which they accept as relative to the source, women. Then, in the romance marketplace, she automatically claims herself worthy and he willingly accepts it as challenge to win her. In the jargon of today, marriage works well with this start-up foundation. He thinks he married over his head and she knows that he did. It springs from natural impulses confirmed before puberty by parents. Her blessing: She is worthy of any man but only a few are worthy of her. His admiration: You’re as worthy as you keep your sexual assets reserved for me exclusively and starting even before we met.]
  23. I have all the qualities I need to make one man earn me. (However, something inside also tells me I have to work daily to ‘tune up’ those qualities if I hope to keep the admiration of candidates for marriage. [Guy adds: And then, someday, at least one man will see you sufficiently virtuous that he becomes fascinated and devoted enough to see so much promise that he’s willing to yield his independence to capture you as wife. Her blessing: She is confident and proud of her worthiness and the need for a man to earn her; she as the buyer and him as the seller. His admiration: You’re very respectable, likeable, and desirable as companion or perhaps better.]
  24. Something deep inside tells me this. I refuse to accept offenses to my feminine sensibilities. I spotlight my objections with critical words or by departing the scene. (No more f- or c- words, porn, or similar filth in my or children’s presence.) [Guy adds: Female sensibilities are personal. You can’t be wrong, so take action and neither complain nor explain, just act. It’s also a primary method by which women set standards to which men are expected to rise, which is one practice that produces a female-friendly society. Her blessing: Her sensibilities shape her character and personality. His admiration: I don’t do sensitive very well. Just what do you mean and expect?]
  25. I grieve at the loss of a loved one with this firm conviction lodged in my heart. They would not have wanted me to have a single bad day of life if they thought their departure was the cause. [Guy adds: Recovery from grief arises out of setting new targets in life and forming new habits to hit those targets. You need to do it two ways: 1) Impose new actions on old behaviors such that you develop new habits—e.g., dress neater than ever before, eat less than previously, fast one day a week, and do it all as tribute. 2) Persuade yourself that your loved one would not disagree with your new habits and might even be pleased with your initiatives. Her blessing: Grief can paralyze her. His admiration: It strengthens your character when you recover from intense grief. You become a better woman considering how intense grief wrings me out of whack.]
  26. I intuitively sense that ‘commitment’ is of the mind and mouth and not of the heart. I’ve confirmed in life that people—especially men—don’t truly obligate themselves with words but with deeds. [Guy adds: Actions that symbolize devotion program the human heart with devotion; words program it for sincerity at best and insincerity at worst. A person’s attitude reveals what likely resides in their heart but only their actions reflect it more accurately than words. Hidden agendas are much harder to disguise with actions than with words. Consequently, the measure of a person should be taken from their attitude and character displayed through their actions much more than from their words. Her blessing: She can accept commitment but still yearns for and expects finally to see a man’s devotion. His admiration: Commitment and devotion are the same to me; I am a man of my word.]
  27. I don’t really expect to get all the affection I crave, but better too little than too much. (My man may be short of providing all the affection I would like, but he provides enough and I’m glad our roles aren’t reversed such that I would be the one accused of giving too little.) [Guy adds: Too much affection shown by a man generates disrespect within the woman; he appears weak and therefore not good enough. Too much affection shown by a woman causes loss of respect in the man; she appears desperate and therefore weak. Her blessing: She needs affection to bless her days and sometimes more than usual. His admiration: She deserves it, and I expect that I can satisfy her. (But we all know they are not talking about the same ways of expressing it.)]
  28. It comes so easy. I benefit from appreciating my man’s handiness, which also pleases him. [Guy adds: Male handiness is the birthright equivalent of female prettiness. Confirming each other in those domains is a mainstay of compatibility. Her blessing: She recognizes that a man’s handiness makes him valuable to have around. His admiration: I’m far handier than she can imagine.]
  29. I have my personality and roles wrapped up in the urge to be important to me and others. My self-respect and free-will enable me to make the best choices to maximize benefits to all concerned. [Guy adds: Making herself important is a woman’s prime motivator in life. If she feels unimportant, she tries harder. To the contrary, men lose interest when they feel or are treated as unimportant. Her blessing: She knows how to make men feel important. His admiration: I am grateful but does she do enough for me? One criticism wipes out 10 ‘importances’, because the former is unexpected and the latter are due.]
  30. Even though it may be less than enjoyable for me, I enjoy praising husband’s sexual performance and ignoring whatever shortcomings I may detect. I like to fill the most vital role in his admiration of himself ‘in action’. It’s so essential to his sense of significance as compatible mate that I am unable to let my attitude or even discomfort be construed as disdain, that he lacks finesse, or that he doesn’t satisfy me. [Guy adds: Women learn from the opinion of others. Modern women tend to criticize first and deny that they can or even want to accept their man’s horizontal inadequacies. Since he can’t or doesn’t read her reactions and cater to her desires, he’s just not worth it. Yet, it seems that other parts of the female nature inherited at birth lead her to be tolerant, patient, and have hope of smoothing out his techniques and problems. Traits such as these. She’s eager to please. She seeks to be important to others. She appreciates her man’s undivided attention. She naturally bonds through intercourse, can swallow pride to please her man, uses patience and indirectness to influence her man, can accept being taken for granted, can accept being demeaned if her hopes and future aren’t threatened. Now, I’m not claiming that women should behave so favorably for him but at their own expense. I’m claiming and ask you to tell me if I’m wrong; deep in a woman’s heart she knows that she should accommodate his sexual shortcomings more with hope and forgiveness than with criticism, corrections, or put downs. After all, sexual relations may seem to be the most obvious to him, but sex isn’t the primary ingredient of compatibility. IOW she quite naturally starts out wanting to please him in bed, even though later she may require something more favorable for her. Oh, and another thing. By praising at least some aspect of his performance in bed, it encourages him to perform even better, which brings about change however minor. With her care, patience, tender-heartedness, and understanding, she can coach in such a fashion as to ultimately bring changes that carry satisfying experiences for her. The self-fulfilling prophecy works when done well, but it takes time, patience, understanding, and indirectness—those things at which women as relationship experts excel quite naturally. Her blessing: She is empowered to make or figuratively destroy a man’s self-image by comment on his sexual performance. His admiration: Your silence means I’m great. If I’m not great in your bed, it’s either you or the wrong bed for me.]
  31. I get endless enjoyment from nesting, nurturing, and nestling with loved ones. [Guy adds: It’s such a primal urge that women capitalize on using those skills to make other tasks enjoyable. For example: They work around the house by putting off after-work relaxation. They hug children and even adults because it feels good. They amplify feeling good about themselves by sharing intimacy. Her blessing: She loves living with others much better than alone. His admiration: It’s great! Let’s shack up.]
  32. I understand my work is never done, and that’s as it should be. [Guy adds: Both brightening her future and living a good life require extra output to confirm her importance to both herself and others. Her blessing: Her workday never ends; it adds to self-importance and self-worth. His admiration: You’re so remarkable and respectable for your energy, stamina, and dedication. It makes you more of a keeper.]
  33. I understand that lovemaking is the man’s game but after-play intimacy is pretty much exclusively mine. [Guy adds: Orgasm releases him for sleep but not her completely. Even if she goes orgasmic, intimacy afterward is an endless wish that easily goes unfulfilled. Her mate’s sexual satisfaction is not sufficient to convince her of her overall importance. As with too few displays of affection, she seldom gets enough intimacy to confirm what she needs. She faces this male shortcoming. Men are poor readers even of their mates and even poorer appreciators of the female need for intimacy. Her blessing: She can put up with most love-making if her man provides intimacy afterward. His admiration: She’s available to me as lover and she’s the ‘lovee’.]
  34. I want a man of my own; one I can depend upon, appreciate, and grow to respect. I shall refine him and us according to the dream I have of us together. [Guy adds: Unfortunately, if a woman can directly induce her man to change (after he conquers her, that is), she loses respect for him. She continues to respect a man who gradually and subconsciously responds favorably to her indirectness, patience, reasonableness, respectability, pleasantness, and likeability. That is, he responds to her being the more important cog for improving their lives together. Otherwise, a man resists change from outside sources, which encourages her hints, patience, cooperation, and other forms of indirect influence. Her blessing: She knows how he wants to be treated as a man. His admiration: Your actions speak louder than words.]
  35. I know to compete with men for my sexual assets before I yield sex the first time to each one, because it enables me to both screen out the unworthy and induce change in those who want me bad enough. [Guy adds: Screening out those not good enough for her is easy. For candidates who are good enough, withholding sex for an extended period is required to allow time for whatever changes he makes to become habit that will follow their relationship forever. Her blessing: She is very particular with whom she has sex. His admiration: You can’t be too picky unless you exclude me.]
  36. I know not to compete but cooperate with my husband. [Guy adds: To compete with him is to contradict his conqueror’s right, challenge his dominance, threaten his sense of significance, interfere with his self-image, and confront his self-respect. As her cooperative spirit breeds relationship harmony, she enhances each of those manly imperatives. Indirectly, to be sure, but every enhancement adds to her influence, personal benefit, and marital longevity. Her blessing: She senses that competing with men is a delicate art and acceptable only when defending her sexual assets. His admiration: Once conquered you and your sexual assets belong to me.]
  37. I have always sensed that men work and remain focused better when dealing with things in the present while I do better by focusing primarily on the future. [Guy adds: It’s her default condition, and it empowers her to minimize decision-making competition and conflict. Compatibility arises more naturally when she allows him to dominate present day decisions while inoffensively, indirectly, and diplomatically getting his buy-in to her thoughts and aims about their future. Present-day decisions will be repeated sometime when she has greater influence by having prepared for that eventuality. Her investment of buying into his decisions today breeds tomorrow’s return on her investment. Her blessing: With her focus on the future, she is much more flexible for adjustment in the present. His admiration: I love how you let me have my way on matters of immediacy and major import.]
  38. I instinctively know that men seek to marry a good woman and I am good enough for what a man needs. [Guy adds: Women use their own interpretation of ‘good’ and, unfortunately, listen to other women about the details. Perhaps because men don’t think about it much less talk about it. Instead, operating independently men track down, test, follow, and marry an appealing accumulation of admirable female qualities existing in one woman. It’s best summarized that men marry a fascinating woman; what they admire they consider a virtue. The more virtues men find then the more fascinating and promising her prospects. Which brings to mind, what attitudes do men explore for details of her likeability and qualities to admire? Female modesty, feminine mystique, monogamous spirit, friendliness toward masculine endeavors, uniqueness relative to both men and women, uplifting spirit, caring heart, strong mindedness that eases up when dealing against him, determination to defend what’s morally right, willingness to depend on him, spirit to work for compatibility, character strength, encouraging personality. Most of those attitudes arise naturally out of women who follow their female nature (aka the values, beliefs, convictions, and expectations with which they are born). Her blessing: She’s born to be good and confirms her importance by doing good. His admiration: I don’t usually see the need but I can be persuaded. Mom, granny, girlfriends, fiancée, bride, and wife have all influenced me to do some good.]
  39. I instinctively know that a man seeks my weaknesses to help get me into bed—especially the first time with him. Something inside of me says to put it off, delay it, follow my instincts, steel my will against his charm. The more I succeed, the more I control my destiny. [Guy adds: To the extent she delays but he pursues, he unwittingly discovers her strengths and traits that he can admire. Each admirable quality becomes a virtue. The more virtues he uncovers then the more quickly she becomes fascinating, which makes her more desirable for more than sex, which encourages his devotion, which can then morph into the promise he sees in her for supporting his ambitions and missions in life, which sets the hook for his appearance at the altar. (Both marital success and failure have roots going back to their first sexual encounter together, the importance of which can’t be overstated.) Her blessing: She is determined to control her destiny about sexual assets both for now and in the future. His admiration: The greater your unyielding attitude and determined success, the greater the respect you deserve and earn.]
  40. From the earliest age it made perfect sense to me that men provide and protect their families. Thus, as the family faces the outside world, the man is the primary foundation upon which everyone depends. [Guy adds: Compared with the other (currently) 96 blessings, I am less sure that this one arrives with birth. However, it becomes accepted so early in toddlerhood that I treat it the same. Her blessing: She expects that her mate will provide and protect her and her children. His admiration: I love it when you respect, depend on, and show gratefulness for me to do such things to my satisfaction.]
  41. My fear of being abandoned has always energized me to promote the interest and seal a permanent attachment with the man closest to me, first father followed by boyfriend and husband. [Guy adds: The female nature is designed, endowed, and hormonally driven to associate with others. Isolation scares the independence out of them, and they feel isolated not so much when they don’t have a man as they do at the loss of whatever man they belong to. It brings to attention this generality about the sexes. Women fear loss of something, more than not earning the same thing. Men fear not earning things more than they fear loss of the same things. When men are unable to earn—respect, money, approval of their value, self-admiration—it devastates their spirit. When they lose something, they know they can recover it through their inherent ability to earn whatever they choose. Her blessing: She fears most losing that which means most, the man to whom she belongs. (That’s why she seeks obligations out of a man before she commits deeply to him.) His admiration: While I’m not eager to commit without good reason, the right woman can convince me. But why would you fear abandonment if I commit to you? You don’t trust me?]
  42. Even when I heard discouraging words in girlhood, I knew that I would do certain things of my own choosing, that someday I would be the primary facilitator (self-developer) to make my future become what I wanted. Later, my girlhood dreams told me that it would depend on the choices I made, husband I chose, and relationship we developed with my relationship expertise.) [Guy adds: Children are born with the firm conviction that they know how to develop themselves. It starts in toddlerhood and continues for life. Admittedly they exhibit it too immaturely for most parents to understand and many refuse to accept it. But the primal urge is there. Girls will seek advice and assistance; they want to have someone go along with them either in spirit or company. Boys will not; they seek to single-handedly figure out and overcome restrictions and obstructions. Choosing playmates is a major test bed and shaper for refining self-development, and it causes much grief for parents. Her blessing: Even as a child, she was a self-developer. She develops her own life but knows to seek help when she needs it. His admiration: I’m the same but I don’t need help.]
  43. I appreciate myself more when I depend on my modest nature to guide me. [Guy adds: Modesty is as natural to women as aggressiveness is to men. I urge every woman to study and teach daughters out of Wendy Shalit’s marvelous book, A Return to Modesty — Discovering the Lost Virtue. First, modesty is admirable to men simply because such apparently fun-depriving uniqueness is so foreign to their nature. Second, modesty is a woman’s most powerful weapon for getting a man settled into his expected role of honoring female sensibilities, both hers and that of other women. The more she respects her modest nature with affirming actions, the more easily she earns the respect of men, which is the foundation of a man’s love. (Ladies, I regret repeating myself so much, but many readers will be reading this as their first or near-first exposure to the blog.) Her blessing: Modesty is her greatest although passive prevention of male aggressiveness. His admiration: I don’t see the protection, but if you insist on being that way, so be it.]
  44. I can touch up my appearance in numerous ways and places and endlessly encourage myself with how pretty I truly am. [Guy adds: She’s born knowing that she’s  pretty. Her best friend is her mirror image. To the extent that she exploits that friendship, she strengthens her self-image, self-worth, and self-interest. Without a mirror nearby, she’s virtually lost in thought about her appearance. Anxiety about it can make her lose focus on other things, or she can use the mirror to change the subject. With a mirror she can restore confidence, eliminate anxiety, and restore herself to whatever track she was on in any situation. That’s why she’s designed, endowed, and hormonally energized to believe that she’s pretty—it’s her salvation for any tough situation when she learns to use it in company with her compact-available best friend. Her blessing: Nothing restrains her when she knows to powder her nose. His admiration: Strange you are, but I inevitably like the result.]
  45. I feel better about myself when I dress and act more feminine and less like both other women and men. [Guy adds: Women lack the masculine self-confidence that whatever they choose to do is okay within themselves. The spirit of Feminism suggests to women that they will feel more self-confident and like themselves better by duplicating masculine habits in dress and behavior. But it doesn’t work as advertised. Frustrated, they try even more masculine habits, but they don’t work either. Consequently, modern women continually feel less than good about themselves. They try harder and harder but the pop culture pushes them in the wrong direction, that of adopting male initiatives, welcoming male dominance, and tolerating excess male aggressiveness. Thus, women wean themselves away from their natural ways of always feeling good or better about themselves, which means they don’t find gratefulness in themselves, which means they can’t find all that much gratefulness in their lives, which means that they move further and further away from ever finding happiness that emerges from a strong spirit of gratefulness particularly for being female. Her blessing: She knows that femininity sells better with men than just ordinary femaleness. His admiration: The more feminine you are, the more likeable in spirit and respectable in conduct do I see you.]
  46. I am honest in all affairs of the heart, but I reserve the right to know when and with whom to disclose my feelings. I am suspicious of anyone who pushes on me to disclose the details of what resides there. [Guy adds: The popular practice of ‘full disclosure’ within couples torpedoes the best interest of women by playing to the man’s game. The more he know about her, the more easily he plays to her weaknesses to both facilitate conquest and determine their future together.  Of course a few men are not like that, but she will be an old lady before she can without fail discern the difference. However, she does learn from experience and can spot the threat more easily in her daughters’ boyfriends. Her blessing: Her spirit, instinct, and intuition speak strongly against full disclosure. What someone knows can and may be used against her. His admiration: The more mysterious she acts and sounds, the more appealing and challenging she is to me. But I still want to know who, what, and when you bedded those other guys.]
  47. I have so many blessings in my life for which I am grateful. [Guy adds: Women are born capable of being happy but they have to earn it by keeping their heart filled with gratitude. To look for happiness in other ways is to miss it at best or find the onramp to misery at least. That’s why women who can’t be grateful for their work effort and job outside the home should look elsewhere—with or without the job—for things and people with whom they can find more gratitude. Purposely find ways to express her gratefulness among others and it will return her to happier days. Her blessing: She is blessed in all ways by knowing that she is worthy of being loved unconditionally by one and conditionally by others. (It enables her to find gratitude in the most inauspicious things, places, and people.) His admiration: You’re unique. People and things aren’t all that great or worthy. Why do you persist looking and how do you keep finding so much to be grateful for?]
  48. I like and admire myself enough that I can help bear the burdens of someone else. [Guy adds: The mothering instinct is a superbly reinforced-by-childbirth foundation for a woman’s interest in caring about and for others. However, low self-esteem weakens her concern about others. It leaves her with self-serving convictions that she does or should come first among others, which reduces her concern and caring for and about others. She isn’t born with low self-esteem; it’s hardwired by caregivers in infancy. Her blessing: She is a lifter-upper of people, an empathizer, sympathizer, and encourager of those in need. His admiration: I wonder why you do it so much, but you are good at it.]
  49. I can forgive someone but I can’t forget it—only God is that good. [Guy adds: Women are born better than men at politics, defined as the art of the possible. Men are born better at the use of power, defined as getting things done. Forgiveness without forgetting helps women to manage relationships. Forgiveness plus forgetting helps men to produce more. Forgiven people produce more diligently when they believe their mistakes and offenses have been forgotten, that recovery is everything in the eyes of those who can forgive. In the political arena, however, men forgo their nature; they forgive but don’t forget. It’s a habit made necessary by their need to influence others politically, aka producing what is possible as relationship managers outside the marital arena. Her blessing: She forgives but almost never forgets. His admiration: You can say that again. Does your uniqueness never end?]
  50. I appreciate myself when I use my instinct and intuition to be kind and tender hearted. [Guy adds: Women are born to be good. Their kind and tender heartedness enables them to do good and thereby become good. Men are born capable of doing good but lack the natural incentive until females teach them to be good and hold them to higher standards of goodness than come naturally to men. Her blessing: Her tender-heartedness is an extension of her inborn soft-heartedness. His admiration: I just can’t relate. You make it work well so it’s okay for you but not me.]
  51. I am able to comfort those less endowed or fortunate than I. [Guy adds: Men are much less capable than women of comforting others. Women know instinctively what to do without fear of it being wrong; men lack such instinct and their intuition says they may very well screw up, which to men is worse than doing nothing. In the arena of comforting others, a woman’s risk-taking far outshines a man’s. Her blessing: She is very capable of rendering comfort, help, and support to the unfortunate. His admiration: Admirable but your talent and skill are often wasted. Not all the unfortunate are worthy of your interest. Let someone else do it.]
  52. Since a little girl I’ve known that I expect peace and harmony in my life but not how to produce it. Later in childhood my expectations grew into dreams of how to produce it by spreading my love to a mate and children. Adult maturity tells me—but I don’t always listen—that spreading my love requires dedication to specific things and diligence to make them standard or normal. For example, produce peace and harmony without demanding it, exemplify it without criticizing self or others, and blend the contradictions as if everybody is sometimes wrong but never bad. [Guy adds: Although you knew the root of it in early childhood, you didn’t realize the details until you gained relationship experience. IOW, your generating peace and harmony has been a natural endeavor from childhood onward. Think about it ladies. How early, much, and many times have you been confronted with the urge to find peace and harmony in whatever happens in your life? And what did you do but work toward it? Peace and harmony is a paramount female dream with roots in the womb, or so I believe. I italicized the how-to details that you may not yet realize are strong abilities also buried within the female nature and usable to facilitate peace and harmony. Let me know if you disagree those italicized abilities reside in your heart. If you agree, shouldn’t you be grateful that you have such a blessing? Such a boodle bag of delicate skills to generate peace and harmony? Her blessing: She is alive to spread love as the universal healer of relationship wounds. His admiration: If someone has to do it, let it be you and not me.]
  53. I appreciate never having to prolong the agonies that self-forgiveness can relieve. The best gift from God or my will power comes when I forgive myself. [Guy adds: See how easy it is for toddler girls to forgive themselves? But guilt interferes later. Women don’t think they deserve to be forgiven for mistakes, shortcomings, or less-than-commendable attributes. They are so used to imposing, accepting, and living with guilt that they fail to consider reality, common sense, and their unique nature. God forgives everything, to ask penitently makes you deserving. So, how does a woman forgive herself? She confesses to herself penitently and her sincerity makes her deserving. Being in a relationship with herself in front of a mirror, she can’t fake sincerity. While a bit of guilt may linger, it needn’t be incapacitating in the least if she sincerely forgives herself and believes that recovery is everything. Her blessing: She can forgive herself but it’s tough without the help of God or her belief in someone higher. His admiration: I don’t understand why you have to forgive yourself so much, but it makes you more pleasant. Incidentally, I’m not that needful.]
  54. I am so grateful that I get to choose my man my way. I will know him when I see him or very soon thereafter. [Guy adds: In girlhood you dream so much about Mr. Right that every candidate appears fully qualified and you’re ever ready to sweep him off his feet but expect vice versa. You set aside heart-felt caution as soon as you declare him Mr. Right. Your mind, however, says ‘heads up, you’re headed for trouble’. Your heart responds with ‘I don’t deserve him’ but I’m going to shoot the works, go all in. Your mind agrees and says ‘I can earn his love’. Oops, your emotional reasoning just hit a major snag; you turned yourself from buyer into seller. You try to make yourself worthy of him rather than the reverse. It may work for a year or so if romantic love captures you both but not permanently. When you act eager to capture him, you don’t earn his respect. Too eager and he spots desperation and learns to disrespect you. So, how do you sweep him off his feet after your eagerness and seller’s spirit convince him—even before conquest—that you only qualify as possible booty? A stand-in for acceptance, a stand-by for sex means his feet stay anchored to the ground. It also means he quits looking for your qualities that he can admire as virtuous. Internal confusion causes your mistakes. Women misread their heart, which doesn’t tell them to sweep a guy off his feet. In fact, it’s the opposite. Instinctively, her heart says, ‘If he wants me he has to earn me’. Her blessing: She’s well prepared to choose the right man, but she needs a couple decades of married life to turn him into her Mr. Right. His admiration: Call me whatever, but I’m Mr. Right for you and just waiting for you to prove yourself to be Ms. Right.]
  55. I believe that I can and will choose a superior mate—not superior of me but better than other men. After we marry, I can love him into changing whatever faults I discover I can’t live with. Whatever my faults to him I will change or compensate with my love. [Guy adds: Women are born with those almost contradictory beliefs. His faults that she can’t see before the altar become visible soon after, which sets up the marital battleground that breeds competition and discourages her cooperative spirit. She has two battleground options but only one works to sustain the marriage. 1) Use indirect techniques, have patience, and allow time and his desire to please her which can enable and encourage him to morph from Mr. Good Enough into Mr. Right probably over the course of many years. 2) Set out purposely to change him soon for whatever reason and for whatever result. Her blessing: She will marry a good man and has what it takes to make him an even better one. His admiration: I’m just the good man you’re looking for but are you the one for me? If we do marry, I will be proud if I have done better with my life  than I could have done by myself.]
  56. I determine my life and resolve my own problems, but sometimes I need help or advice. I don’t like it but when I accept blame for my own mistakes, I learn from the angst. It makes me more independent and considerate enough that I accept blame rather than impose it or let others assume it. [Guy adds: Your self-importance, self-worth, and self-image soar or nearly soar when you sacrifice yourself to lift blame from others, does it not? Her blessing: She is sufficiently independent that she doesn’t need a man but wants someone to help fulfill her life. His admiration: You may be good enough. But if I have to win you for my mate, you better also be worth it.]
  57. I reward myself at the mirror in numerous ways. The better I feel about my appearance, the less confirmation I want, seek, or need. The minute I feel uncomfortable about how I appear, the quicker I seek a mirror. [Guy adds: The mirror and chatting with your best-friend image refills your heart with gratefulness for yourself, or you’re not doing it right. Her blessing: Mirror time makes her feel better about myself. His admiration: Your mirror time makes me feel better about both you and me.]
  58. While I never thought of it in these terms, I recognized early in childhood that dad’s authority status was higher than mom’s and parental authority exceeded that of children. While it didn’t keep me from challenging everything in life, recovery from my mistakes was aided by their superior ability and status. I am grateful for only driving them out of their minds instead of me out of their hearts. [Guy adds: After the conscious mind opens in the third year, girls become sensitive to the role that authority plays in their lives. They have the ability to automatically acknowledge authority figures, and how they will respond to the use of authority. Of course it doesn’t take long before they also learn to test authority figures, perhaps even to play one against another. Success testing authority figures breeds self-confidence in girls and self-respect in boys. Failure provides lessons learned as part of self-development. Both learn quickly that authority can aid self-development. However, boys are not born so resilient or quick as learners. Her blessing: She knows that she always face authority figures and collectively they dominate her life. His admiration: If we marry, I’ll gladly serve as your dominant authority figure.]
  59. The more I am grateful for others, the more important I am to myself. [Guy adds: And self-importance pumps self-gratitude into your heart. IOW, by finding gratefulness outside yourself, you magnify it within. You inherited the ability at birth—you can be grateful for yourself just by continually looking and finding it elsewhere. And, your happiness flows from gratefulness, both for self and others. Her blessing: She can find reasons to be grateful when others can’t. His admiration: I see it when the evidence of your gratitude converts my heart to see you as respectful for and dependent on me.]
  60. Unless I can do nothing about it at the time, I love the ‘renewed self’ that pervades my spirit when I spend time ‘fixing up’ at a mirror. It encourages me to purposely make up to please myself for being so pleasant to look at. [Guy adds: It’s powerfully useful first thing in the morning. Departing the mirror with uplifted spirits encourages you in the role of importance to family and leads you dynamically to help others achieve success and you to achieve importance in the day’s events. Her blessing: The mirror is her most reliable way to get an uplift, a deeper appreciation of her worthiness. His admiration: I’m not a good ‘uplifter’ or encourager, so I’m grateful that you have a better way.]
  61. I know that my mirror-reflected image is both my best friend (next to Jesus) and one to whom I cannot lie for very long. It constantly varies, but in front of a mirror I’m grateful for either the mirror, my image, or myself. Consequently, a mirror works as a reliable pick-me-up. [Guy adds: I am frequently asked why I recommend mirror time each morning. The reasons are scattered in several article and too numerous for here. I shall prepare a new summary article, so don’t let me forget it. (Of course I’ve said that before and still haven’t got to it. But it’s coming.) Her blessing: She unconditionally respects people until she detects they can’t be trusted. His admiration: I doubt the merit of doing so, but I love it when practiced on me.]
  62. I unconditionally respect people and loved ones. It’s an awesome power that I can trust people whom I know until evidence and good reason reveal that I shouldn’t. [Guy adds: This is always worth repeating. If you want to be trusted by someone, show them more respect. If you want to be respected, show them more trust. Let that percolate within your parental mind too. Her blessing: People deserve to be respected and she knows to lead with that temperament. His admiration: I appreciate it when you show that kind of trust in me.]
  63. I am intuitively able to give people benefit of the doubt until they prove undeserving of it. [Guy adds: Two natural reasons are behind that female trait. First, females are primarily givers until turned against it. Second, giving benefit of the doubt is a vital technique for relationship experts; give it up and expertise is weakened. Her blessing:  People deserve benefit of the doubt until they ‘unearn’ it. His admiration: I appreciate it when applied to me.]
  64. I grasp instinctively that man must be capable of evil since there is so much. I sense a burden to stop it but give up at the thought how little old me can do anything. [Guy adds: When men don’t have to step up to moral standards imposed by women, their woman, or higher authority than Man, then morality crumbles under the heel of male dominance guided and eventually governed by alpha men without consciences. It’s a cycle that repeats throughout history. (Our Judeo-Christian culture is the best system ever devised to uphold morality as the guiding principle. Now that appears to be disappearing.) Her blessing: Evil is so scary that she goes far out of her way to avoid it. His admiration: I can defend you against it and am worthy of your trust.]
  65. I am proud to accept the principle of submission to husband as long as he deserves it. But I also have a say in it even though public opinion seems to ignore my opinion. (It seems fair that submission is my side of the bargain for him to give up his independence for me.) [Guy adds: Women have the free-will to deal with the submission issue as they choose. Their naturally endowed relationship expertise provides them with the capability to turn disputes into mutual agreement provided they don’t wish for something beyond the immediate issue. Her blessing: She has a submissive spirit and free-will to use it as she is encouraged to do so. His admiration: Then we won’t have any problems, so long as I’m the ultimate decision maker.]
  66. I reap great pleasure spreading joy wherever I go but especially in my own home. Unfortunately, I can’t be as joyful as I would like; it just seems to slip away. [Guy adds: Imagine if you can, a joy-filled woman sitting around doing nothing or spending her time alone. Joy doesn’t come without self-gratitude, and that doesn’t come without discovering within herself the multitude of blessings that she inherits at birth. And when she has enough self-gratitude, she doesn’t sit around doing nothing. She extends herself, adds to her self-importance, and out of that great wives emerge to uphold morality and enable others to find joy. A favorite example is this. Men conquered the American West but wives civilized it by imposing religiously moral values on their husbands directly and other men indirectly. (At the breakfast table, “You’re a judge! Get those criminals off the streets!”) Whatever joy they had as women, it arose out of success imposing morality on men to make society more female friendly. Her blessing: With freedom of thought that encourages her, she loves to spread joy especially among loved ones. His admiration: I can use all you can provide so long as it doesn’t interfere with my work and habits.]
  67. I find gratefulness in all that I do for myself up to but not including selfishness. That’s not part of me but I have to remind myself frequently. [Guy adds: Temptation and low self-respect are the roots of selfishness. Envy and jealousy brought on by low self-esteem compound it. Her blessing: She loves to find gratefulness wherever she can. It adds to her sense of self-importance and self-worth. His admiration: I’m grateful you can do so well without my constant attention or togetherness.]
  68. I am grateful for myself when my loved ones follow my lead to do good. [Guy adds: She’s born to be good and is naturally energized to do good. Men are born capable but not inclined to do good; they must be energized by the women in their lives. Her blessing: She was born to do good and yearns to be good. His admiration: I love your doing good when it doesn’t interfere with my work or habits.]
  69. I am grateful that I know to keep my virgin status and sexual history unknown by everyone else. It’s no one’s business but mine. If known by others, I will or can be judged harshly or worse by both men and women. [Guy adds: It’s one of her earliest sensibilities but too easily mocked or shamed by people in her life. Her blessing: She knows intuitively that disclosure of her sexual history provides information that can and will likely be used against her some day. His admiration: I respect your desire for silence, but I want to know how I stack up against all those other guys especially in who is ‘firstest with the mostest’.]
  70. From my earliest days, the mirror has been my friend. I am grateful that mirror time opens my heart to focus outside myself. Whether appreciated or not by others, the mirror confirms my importance in my roles if not my performance in life. [Guy adds: I keep referring to mirrors and gratitude. Were it not for them, love would not work well for women. Her blessing: Her mirror goes a long way preparing her to deal with others. His admiration: I can relate with how you feel so strongly about ‘tools of your trade’. My work and hobby tools enable me to gain the same benefits.]
  71. I am grateful just to recognize that loneliness comes from lack of feedback of my importance to others. (I’ve learned that just as action cures fear, new or different actions of mine help cure my loneliness.) [Guy adds: Words don’t program the heart but actions (and emotionally imagined outcomes) do. Different and winning actions reprogram it from old habits. Her blessing: She knows that other people and their interests are very important to her. His admiration: They aren’t to me, except as I need help pushing forward on my agendas.]
  72. Vanity has been with me since my earliest mirror time. I am grateful that my expressions of vanity lift my spirits and prepare me to tackle anything with much less anxiety. [Guy adds: Vanity eases or solves so many female problems. At the mirror vanity confirms self-esteem and dignity and enhances prettiness, self-image, self-confidence, and self-gratitude. If she doesn’t like herself and/or doesn’t like the mirror, she’s doing everything wrong. The more she can’t handle mirror feedback, the more desperate she becomes for feedback from others, which is the root of wanting desperately to be liked by both women and men. Her blessing: Strong self-centeredness is a normal part of her personality, probably a little vanity inspired narcissism too. She seeks forgiveness when it sprouts into selfishness. His admiration: My self-interest is equally strong and can accommodate your vanity.]
  73. I am grateful that I instinctively resist skepticism. (It’s just an excuse to do little or nothing. It seems to justify escape from responsibility and I don’t like that.) [Guy adds: Ever see a 3-4 toddler girl be least bit skeptical? It just isn’t in her nature, but child-raisers teach it too often and too much. Her blessing: She knows that cynicism and skepticism are contrary to her self-interest. Her heart floats on joy and gratitude or at least she tries to keep herself aimed in their direction. His admiration: I love and appreciate you much better when cynicism and skepticism are left to me, while you take responsibility to lovingly and figuratively beat them out of me.]
  74. I am grateful to be endowed with the ability but can always use help to handle anxiety without losing my composure and self-respect. [Guy adds: Lessons learned in life should make it much easier so that guilt causes less anxiety and need for action. However, some women learn to think they are incapable of handling anxiety. Victory goes to those that claim success the most enthusiastically and loudly to self. Her blessing: While she has the ability to deal with great anxiety, she finds it much more tolerable when she has help to ease her out of it. His admiration: I don’t understand women, and so I’m not very good at helping relieve anxiety.]
  75. I am grateful that my girlhood dreams taught me to expect this. However hard to live with it, my husband expects to remain married to the woman he courted. I never dreamed I would be any different than when we married, except for aging of course. (I recognize now; when and as I change from that fascinating woman, I lose some of his respect and influence with him.) [Guy adds: It’s seldom recognized verbally because it operates at the subconscious level. Other things are more easily blamed for loss of respect and influence. Her blessing: She knows in her heart of hearts that husband wants her to remain the same woman he married, especially her physical attractiveness and appeal. But social and domestic pressures make it harder than she ever imagined during courtship. His admiration: Fortunately, you change slow enough that I hardly notice among all the other pressures. Until, that is, I see a disappointing looking figure before me.]
  76. I am grateful that I can read men but I often doubt myself. I need to do better for my own protection. My heart tells me that protection of my sexual assets adds to my personal importance, female uniqueness, and worth as mating partner. [Guy adds: It’s ironic. Victimized by rape terrifies women both for the violence and being ‘ruined for life’. Yet, to a man, a rape victim deserves more respect than a woman that gives it away without deep-rooted obligation to someone other than him. Her blessing: She can read men, has a good understanding of common sense but not with the certainty needed to make risky major decisions. His admiration: That’s just fine. I’m alongside you to make those major decisions.]
  77. I am grateful that I love to smile and enjoy finding reasons to do so. It brightens the day for me and those around me. It encourages others, charms men into being pleasant and/or funny, and makes me even prettier. (Special credit to Catherine for her contribution identifying this female blessing.) [Guy adds: I discovered this late in life. Teasing pretty women makes them prettier. Her blessing: She loves to smile and loves to find new reasons for doing so. His admiration: I love it too. When I see smiles out of you, my world is in good shape.]
  78. I’m grateful although I find it hard to live with. Deep in my heart I recognize that I can’t change anyone else. I keep trying but produce unintended consequences. [Guy adds: When you change yourself, however, it has an effect on others and they often modify their behavior in response. You can’t count on it, but you’re usually better off whether they respond better to you or not. Actions that reveal you as different can also cure many things, such as fear, doubt, and relationship mistakes. Her blessing: She accepts others as they are and doesn’t try to change them. His admiration: You respect me as I am.]
  79. I’m grateful each morning when I face myself in the mirror. Terrible when I arrive, successful when I depart. [Guy adds: The benefits are more than worth the inconvenience of time spent bringing out the prettiness of your face. As your face goes, so goes your day. As your day goes, so goes your life. Her blessing: She has prettiness to work with. His admiration: You’re great to look at.]
  80. I am blessed that I can see the good in people and turn it into uplifting words. Especially those who are close to me. (Special credit to Surfercajun for identifying this female blessing.) [Guy adds: Women are born to be good, and become good by doing good. Her blessing: She sees the good in life and pursues it to be good. His admiration: While so easily earning the respect and trust of others, you also pick me up when I’m down and make me feel good about myself.]
  81. I am blessed with a feminine nature strong enough to handle any improper reaction I may provoke in others. (Special credit to Pretty Woman for suggesting this inborn blessing.) [Guy adds: You can’t be responsible for others’ reactions. Her blessing: She has calm inner strength to deal with upset people. His admiration: Glad you’re on my side.]
  82. “I am grateful that I have the ability to activate my hard-headedness when I am all soft and mushy on the inside and have the ability to show my soft-heartedness when the world is so harsh and hard on the outside.” (Special credit to Cocoa for her contribution identifying this female blessing that comes with birth.) [Guy adds: Her soft-heartedness is designed to compensate at least and overcome at best the inborn hard-heartedness of men. Her blessing: She can be hard-headed as necessary and soft-hearted when appropriate. His admiration: You’re amazing; you know when to fight and how to win battles.]
  83. I am so grateful that I have the potential to find a great life as someone’s wife. First for being asked to marry and then for finding importance in family, belonging, emotional comfort, and joy of life among others. (Special credit to Surfercajun for her contribution identifying this female blessing that comes with birth.) [Guy adds: Exploiting her potential requires use of the blessings she acquires at birth. Her blessing: She has the ability to bring harmony into relationships. His admiration: How can you be so smooth and easy at settling differences and bringing order when emotional conflict is so common?]
  84. I am grateful that I possess the resourcefulness to create a beautiful and comfortable life without spending much money so I can lighten the burden on my husband. (Special credit to Amyr002 for her contribution identifying this female blessing that comes with birth.) Guy adds: Frugal is as frugal does. Women know it instinctively and promote their self-importance with frugality. Her blessing: She’s as frugal as necessary and can even live well with very little. His admiration: You would do that for me?]
  85. I am grateful to be ‘wired’ this way. When I sit to eat a meal prepared by me or someone else, my mind becomes occupied by more important things than enjoying the food. So I don’t overeat. (Special credit to Marianne S. for her contribution identifying this female blessing that comes with birth.) [Guy adds: Her mind flashes to other things on her agenda, such as how to 1) brighten the next upcoming event or opportunity. 2) Stimulate conversation that affirms the eaters or whoever fixed the meal. 3) Find gratitude in having family or friends gathered together for a short while. 4) Find pleasure with herself for bringing two or more together. 5) Discourage daughters from eating too much. 6) Jump up to serve others. 7) Enjoy herself for having prepared the food. 8) Enjoy that the males of her family are satisfying themselves with her food, company, or both. 9) Confirm to herself that tomorrow’s schedule will come off better than today’s. 10) And ad infinitum. Consequently, with her mind preoccupied on other than directly pleasing her own taste buds, she eats slowly and lightly and appreciates that it’s normal, that she is made that way. Moreover, preparing food adds to her sense of importance. Eating eagerly and satisfyingly to please her taste buds—as men do naturally—adds to her proportions unnaturally. She inherits at birth the excellent insight and primal urge to enjoy things other than eating at meal time. Thus, the overweight that she sees on herself is a sign of past disregard of her feminine nature, particularly disregard by trying to copy men or compensate for frustration, boredom, or depression by heavy eating. She’s born to be naturally compatible, and changing her bridal shape to something else is unnatural and does not add to husband’s gratitude for their togetherness. Her blessing: She tends to avoid and not become overweight. His admiration: Your convictions guide you well, and I love you more for remaining the woman I married.]
  86. I put myself at disadvantage if I approach men of interest first. Something inside disturbs my mind, even though men say they are flattered and other women encourage it. (Special credit to Screamstyle for her contribution identifying this female blessing that comes with birth.) [Guy adds: Men don’t expect it and don’t respect women that do it. It smacks that she’s desperate, because it brings her out of the cocoon of uniqueness that men like and expect to see. Female desperation discourages his initiative and prevents the development of manly respect. Men expect women to be independent and uniquely self-sufficient, which a man’s nature expects to last until he proactively turns her interests toward him. If she approaches him, she takes away his opportunity to earn her attention, which means he doesn’t much respect whatever attention she gives him. Her approach also takes away his opportunity to admire the effects he expects to produce. Provided, that is, if he’s interested in her for more than sex. Her blessing: She has patience and respect for men to do the right thing correctly. His admiration: You have self-respect, self-discipline, determination, and high expectations and probably high standards. I shall have to try harder.]
  87. I am grateful that my instinct leads me to this. The natural organization of relationships calls for ‘us’ to come before him, him to come before me, and we come before others. (I wish that men would learn that part about “us to come before him”. My setting the example doesn’t seem the least bit contagious.) [Guy adds: Men don’t think ‘us comes before him or her, only women think that way. Either she comes before him or he comes before her. (I disregard the unusual in-between balance just to compare the norm.) She comes first means that he’s very devoted to her. He comes first means that he conquered her without investing himself very deeply in the process of respecting her and therefore wanting to please her endearingly. Men don’t love as women do, and women defeat themselves by expecting it. Think of man and man’s best friend. The more he cares for and pleases his dog with both treats and challenges, the more devoted he becomes to the dog. It’s much the same principle in courtship. His actions program his heart. The more he pleases and presents challenges to a woman in ways that satisfy him, the deeper his devotion grows, the more endearingly he seeks to share himself. If a woman seeks to assess a man’s love of her, let her evaluate his dedication to each of these: 1) His respect for her as person and woman (the foundation). 2) His devotion that pleases her according to his tastes and wishes (his investment). 3) His satisfaction with the way she fills her various roles in their life together (his dependence on her). 4) How her presence enlarges his self-confidence including in bed and public (his return on investment). 5) How her presence lifts his spirits and settles his attitudes (reward for good husbanding). Her blessing: She knows how relationships work, she’s the expert. His admiration: You’re wonderful because you don’t have to do it.]
  88. I’m grateful for the ability but I wish I understood better my own nature for earning happiness. [Guy adds: Specifically, she lacks understanding of the link between her motivation to earn and sustain self-importance and the requirement for self-gratitude that unlocks the door to earning happiness. More of one inflates the other, and more of both enhances her personality and roles in life. She is as good a person as both of them are high and it happens this way. She is important to herself to the extent that she confirms her gratitude for others. Gratefulness for others bounces back to her that she is important to them. Her life revolves around this closed loop: Self-importance comes from finding gratitude in her heart for others, which makes her display gratefulness for them, which they transform into feedback of her importance to them, and which closes the loop with her having a greater sense of self-importance. Thus, she depends on self-importance and self-gratitude to calm jittery nerves, squelch undeserved guilt, and convert anxiety to encouragement in others, which paves the road to her happiness. While she needs stimulation from outside herself, she is self-contained for processing life to the fullest for her and hers, but it all comes from keeping self-importance and self-gratitude inflated. The closed loop also describes the essence of femininity in action. Her blessing: She learns how to earn her way to happiness by finding gratitude in people and things. His admiration: It takes a wonderful and influential person to find so much to be grateful for in the face of all that men have to face. How can you do it? You’re amazing.]
  89. Just as I am sex object to males, they are romance objects to me. [Guy adds: Life becomes simpler just by acknowledging that fact. Her blessing: She knows what she’s after and doesn’t mind being targeted to get it. His admiration: You have wily ways of using the latter to get the former.]
  90. My sense of neatness makes me feel good about myself. I use it to enhance my prettiness. [Guy adds: Along with modesty and vanity, neatness is a major ‘weapon’ in the female ‘arsenal’ for battling men. Her blessing: Neatness adds to her attractiveness and mental strength. His admiration: Neatness symbolizes dedication to yourself. It shows that you have self-respect, self-discipline, and determination not to be easily pawed upon.]
  91. The root of my pleasure in life is my female uniqueness out of which popularity and sexual assets support my self-worth. [Guy adds: Knowing that men will do whatever women require for men to have frequent and convenient access to sex, smarter women rank feminine uniqueness higher than pleasure, self-respect higher than popularity, and self-worth higher than sexual relations. Her blessing: She’s of great worth as mate to a man. His admiration: (Short of what she would like.) Highly unlikely to pin me down—until you prove that you’re worth it, that is.]
  92. I am grateful that my girlhood dreams came directly out of my heart, which I embellished with deep romance and well-deserved masculine chivalry. [Guy adds: Thus, a woman develops her primary mission in life. To live a good life in fulfillment of her girlhood dream. Her blessing: She knows what she wants her life to become, the process of loving and living for her and others. His admiration: For my long-range dreams and ambitions, you fit okay into my life. I can do romantic, chivalrous, nice, pleasant, kind, courteous, trusting, loyal, and respectable for my mate. Ain’t no big deal. Were I like other guys with few dreams or ambitions, you’d be better off than I am.]
  93. I am grateful for my social conscience in addition to the moral one. By that I mean my ability to analyze myself. I ease my guilt by analyzing myself as to cause and cure. Sometimes it works. Other times it doesn’t. I often overdo it with unintended consequences. I can even sink into depression by overdoing it. I’m still grateful, because it enables me to ease most of the misery of everyday guilt. [Guy adds: As to right and wrong and blame and innocence, self-analysis is a mixed blessing. Used beneficially and she profits. Used unwittingly and she punishes herself. For instance, she does something wrong or just out of kilter; the results were just not what she expected. Guilt sets in. She has to do something. To figure that out she turns to self-analysis. What did I do wrong? Insult them? Speak out when I shouldn’t? Hurt their feelings? Unable to find out for sure, she imagines possible answers. The more analysis, the more possibilities. The more possibilities, the more worries. The more worries, the more distraught she becomes. She cranks herself into a tizzy of options none of which appear to be appropriate and so her guilt intensifies rather than lessens. She loses sleep. She ignores or forgets this. We all make mistakes and recovery is everything. Her ability to search herself for cause and cure enables plans for recovery and self-analysis can ease her guilt. But it’s not all blessing. It can cause self-induced discomfort more than comfort. Some use it in ways that paralyze. Others recede into depression. But the smarter ones use it to just recover from mistakes rather than trying to solve problems for others. The more successful women are those less bothered by endless guilt. Her blessing: She can admit her mistakes and take blame for relationship friction. She’s endowed with the ability to minimize damage to herself and reduce blame on others. His admiration: I can’t do that. If someone is wrong or makes mistakes, they deserve what they get. It includes me, although I admit to escaping without much self-analysis.]
  94. I’m both amazed and grateful that I find it easy to be disingenuous or tell little white lies in order to protect the feelings of those I care for, which can include everyone that I appreciate as deserving of my approval. [Guy adds: Men value honesty and integrity higher in the order of principles because they fit better with what men value most—facts, logic, reason, and truth expressed directly. Women place higher value on principles that encourage people to relate well with each other—feelings, cooperation, and relationship success they can develop. Her blessing: She can get along with everybody. His admiration: How do you do that? You’re amazing!]
  95. I’m not really happy with myself except as I can make someone else happy. It’s my fulfillment in life but also my biggest and never ending challenge. When I can’t or when I don’t, I find that selfishness has risen in my heart. So, to ensure that my sense of self-importance remains high, I have to keep trying to make someone else happy rather than myself. [Guy adds: It’s a major virtue and makes women much better servant-leaders than men, more effective as the heart of a home than the head, and more effective as informal rather than as formal leader.] Her blessing: She’s loaded with common sense. His admiration: You’re great to be around whether as friend, spouse, competitor, or whatever.]
  96. I really appreciate as natural my ability to teach children, both my own and others with whom I can find common interest. When I see progress, it warms my heart and pushes me to do more. (Surfercajun cited this blessing.) [Guy adds: The art of teaching children has to overcome this trait in children, especially boys. They want to develop themselves, and they learn best when teacher finds ways to overcome each child’s natural resistance with guidance, encouragement, and suggestion— and indirectness for boys—as opposed to being told how to live. Her blessing: She has a way with children. His admiration: You’d make a good mother.]
  97. I’m grateful that I always know what I want and expect out of a man. Not so much particular behaviors but results that accumulate and brighten my future. [Guy adds: Consequently, women test endlessly to determine and ensure they are on track as each woman expects it with each man. Her Blessing: She knows what she wants and has the patience, instinct to rely on indirectness, and flexibility to accept less than ideal behaviors in order to fulfill her expectations of results. His Admiration: The better you know how to get what you want, the more respect you deserve.
  98. I am grateful, although I never recognized it before, I am hardwired at birth to not overeat. All I have to do is be a better, more feminine woman, pay more attention to those around me than to myself. I am automatically that when I cook. [Guy adds: The nature of woman works this way at the dinner table where she’s cooked the food. Her mind goes to everything except the food on her plate. She partakes subconsciously. Little or no intention to devour or clean her plate, her taste buds largely ignored. Other interests concern or please her. Does husband like it? Will kids eat it? Enough leftovers for tomorrow? Should she have added more salt? Is meat too rare? Did kids have good day at school? Husband at work? What’s that twinge in her chest? Will x-rays today reveal something bad? Is mother as sick as she lets on? My mom’s car needs to be fixed, wonder if my husband will take it in? Hubby’s birthday is coming up; what should I get him? So is son’s; I don’t want to get him that thing he wants. What to do? (Eating out nullifies such discouragements for overeating. Also, if little girls are not taught to cook, they learn to eat as men eat—to please their taste buds instead of their conscience.) Her blessing: As she’s blessed to deal with ailments better than men, she’s also more capable at making food taste better. His admiration: I like and sometimes love her cooking.]
  99. (I know there are more blessings to come. I await suggestions and inspiration. Target remains set at 100.)

How grateful do you now feel about yourself? More or less than when you started reading the list? Regardless, you should be energized to study further and consider options you had trouble accepting on your first viewing. The more self-gratitude you purposely generate by accepting and using natural blessings, the sooner the misery multiplex will fade in your life and happiness will find you.

I hope to grow the list to 100. Suggestions? Also, if you disagree that a factor should be listed, please inform me. Also, if you spot duplicates. I need help maintaining such matters.

23 responses to “FEMALE BLESSINGS AT BIRTH

  1. Sharon

    Sir Guy, this excellent list is one to re-read, live out, and teach daughters and other women. With each reading, something different will stand out. For me, several items, but just one comment for now. At #64, “free will to take exception when appropriate,” I think, is appropriately in line with Prov. 31:25 “Strength and dignity are her clothing.” So many young women have not been taught to grow the self-confidence and develop the discernment that brings such strength.

  2. surfercajun

    I refuse to accept offenses to my feminine sensibilities and so I spotlight my objections with critical word or departure. No more f- or c- words, porn, or similar filth in my or children’s presence. ….I was curious if by not validating what is said… (ignoring the dirty minded party) does that help as well or does that become a focus of something more demeaning next time? This always makes me wonder… did I do the right thing? This one is very hard for me believe it or not. (as per trying to keep the peace vs. say something or walk off) Please help!

    Your Highness Surfercajun,

    When peace outranks your sensibilities, guys and gals know how to get your goat. That encourages more of the same.

    When you forsake peace for your self-respect, you earn the respect of others. Your sensibilities are the heart and soul of you, but it takes self-protection for others to accept you as a private and respected individual. You earn the respect you deserve if and when you stand up for yourself?

    Guy

    P.S. Self-gratitude enables you to thrive without the approval of others if they don’t approve of you or your values, standards, and expectations.You have no control over their thoughts or approvals, only of yourself and your own. When you can thrive on your own, you love yourself much, much more. Vanity, modesty, and femininity are justified by dependence on self rather than others.
    G.

    • surfercajun

      Thank you so much, Guy!
      Your Post Script means so much as it was more than one family member. I can stand allot taller now reinforcing my values, standards and expectations. My vanity, modesty and femininity are justified by my self protection. I will get with another female family member and have a talk. Thank you so very, very, very much!!!

  3. MLaRowe

    Deeply, deeply moved. Will write more when I have had a chance to really absorb it all. Thank you so much.

  4. Catherine

    Sir Guy,
    Maybe I missed it; no mention of smiles in this list? For example:
    “I have a multi-purpose smile. It can brighten days for discouraged men, confirm that men are charming and/or funny, and make me even prettier,” or something like that?

    Your Highness Catherine,
    Great! Don’t know how I forgot that one. It’s added as #76. Thanks.
    Guy

  5. Smiles

    Dear Guy,
    If I may ask a question: When I married I was not as modest as I now would like to be, or have my daughter to be. I am thankful I have the ability to make myself prettier and admire my husband more than when we courted. How can I help him be satisfied with this new modest Christian woman (yet sweeter and prettier) than when we married?


    Your Highness Smiles,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    Spread your focus to discover other things that you admire. About him, for example, he appreciates your daughter for her modesty. He accepts your withdrawal from immodest things and understands the reasons behind what you do. Not too often and not pushy, highlight improvements in your relationship that come from your being a better person. Admire daughter in front of husband, for example, she avoids immodest things and deserves recognition for it. Comment further that she takes to modesty so well because it’s part of her nature. Let this thought arise in his mind, mother sets ideal example for raising his daughter.

    Smile and wink at him more often just because he’s nearby. Prettify yourself purposefully just for his arrival home from work. And remember this, it isn’t what you tell him, it’s what he sees that impress and linger in his heart and mind.

    Guy

  6. A.GuyMaligned

    Ladies,
    Since the original posting, default attitudes 71-76 have been added.
    Guy

  7. surfercajun

    How about this? I can think of the nicest things to be said to myself then give this gift thought words in which to express and uplift others.

    Your Highness Surfercajun,
    A good one. Does this express your thoughts accurately? “I am blessed with a better than normal ability to spot nice things about others and turn them into uplifting words. Especially those who are close to me.”
    Guy

  8. Pretty Woman

    Sir Guy,

    I have been reading the blog for some months. I enjoy it. Having been on the road to greater femininity for nearly my entire marriage (29 years, married at 18), I can say heartily that these principles work exactly as you say. However, I still can learn, and I need to counteract the constant feminist indoctrination out in the world, so I read material such as your blog. Your list is an excellent summary of feminine attitudes, and I appreciate it.

    I hope this post this is the appropriate place for these two topics. First, I appreciate your references to how a woman can uphold self-respect and morality (#24), and I’m wondering if it would be appropriate to broaden a woman’s intolerance of immorality to all of immorality’s forms? Of course, you talk here mostly of interactions between men and women, so it would stand to reason that you focus on sexual immorality here, but I was just curious.

    Also, as a woman becomes more feminine, she attracts men, but she can also attract some extremely toxic behavior from some women. My thinking for a default attitude would be something along the lines of, “I value my God-given feminine nature enough to maintain it in the face of any improper reaction it may provoke in others. I do not tolerate such behavior but respond with dignity and increase my self-love. If necessary to maintain my self-love, I will remove myself from the other person’s company. I forgive while I turn to God for wisdom, protection, and vindication.” This subject might be out of this blog’s reach, I realize, but again I was just curious.

    Thank you for your hard work.

    Your Highness Pretty Woman,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    I need more time to respond than is available today. I shall be back first thing in the am.

    Guy

    P.S. I’m back. I regret I’ve not been clear enough. When I speak of morality, I don’t restrict it to the sexual. Starting at the macro level, morality is embedded in the female nature. Women know intuitively that morality has a place in their lives. When used, it provides women with major ‘weapons’ and ‘helpmates’ to guide family life and balance the power in society’s battle of the sexes—superior sex versus the dominant one.

    Unless otherwise mentioned, I always mean that the whole spectrum of moral behavior applies. The female nature is hardened against immorality. Morality serves women directly, but the case can be made that immorality serves men. Morality serves men indirectly but only according to how completely they devote themselves individually to family responsibility, development, success, and collectively to supporting and promoting a female-friendly society. The more the male sex dominates society with immorality and to the exclusion of family-friendly influences, then the less that morality serves women—and vice versa.

    I like your thinking about another default attitude. It will be posted as #81 with the parentheses added. “I value my God-given feminine nature enough to maintain it in the face of any improper reaction it may provoke in others. (I do not tolerate such behavior but respond with dignity and increase my self-love. If necessary to maintain my self-love, I will remove myself from the other person’s company. I forgive while I turn to God for wisdom, protection, and vindication.)” Well done and thanks.

    G.

  9. NOTE: I RESPOND IN CAPS TO your questions in lower case WITH PARAGRAPHS BROKEN FOR EASE OF READING.
    GUY

    Sir Guy,
    I am excited over the completion of the Self-Gratitude series and even began a self-gratitude list last week.

    However, I am confused about the goal/concept of self-gratitude. I thought the point was to identify and grow positive/useful self-attributes so as to feel more competent and valuable and content with oneself. ABSOLUTELY

    And so my initial list includes these types of items (a sample):

    >> My attention to detail which allows me to enjoy and enrich menial tasks and to perceive things that others do not

    >> My wit, which empowers me to have humorous and interesting conversations with various different personalities

    GOOD ONES TOO BUT NOT ALL WOMEN ARE BORN THAT WAY. AS YOU PHRASE THEM, THOSE ARE LEARNED SKILLS FOR WHICH YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL AND ADDED TO YOUR PERSONAL LIST.

    But in reading the default attributes I’m seeing a disconnect. Your list includes items that are explanations of how inter-gender dynamics work: THAT’S TRUE.

    “(ex. ‘38.I instinctively know that while a man seeks my weaknesses to help get me into bed the first time with him, he is discovering my strengths and traits that he can admire and consider virtue.’

    “‘13.I respect and show gratitude for my husband above all others and realize when I slow or stop that he will tend to wander.’)”

    WOMEN ARE ALL BORN WITH A KEEN INTEREST IN INTER-SEX DYNAMICS. IT’S BURIED IN THEIR SURVIVAL INSTINCT. WHEN SIMPLE OR EASY TO CITE, I ADD THE LIKELY CONSEQUENCES MORE AS A REMINDER. I’LL CHANGE #13 TO THE FOLLOWING AND CONSIDER SIMILAR TREATMENT OF OTHERS.

    13. I FIND SOLACE KNOWING THAT I MUST SHOW RESPECT AND GRATITUDE FOR MY HUSBAND ABOVE ALL OTHERS AND REALIZE WHEN I SLOW OR STOP THAT HE WILL TEND TO WANDER.

    It just brings me back to my frequent state of misery in which I worry about securing the love of a man–whereas I thought initially the point was to come to love yourself as a worthy human being so that you need others’ approval less. YES, YOU’RE RIGHT. THAT IS THE MAIN POINT OF SELF-GRATITUDE. AND IT’S DESIGNED TO TAKE THE WORRY AND MISERY OUT OF SECURING THE LOVE OF A MAN.

    I am not arguing with you, I just seem to be missing something about the main message and so it’s not clicking for me yet. WELL, THINK ON THIS. SELF-GRATITUDE PREPARES ME FOR GREATER SUCCESS IN INTER-SEX DYNAMICS.

    Thank you and please bear with me,
    Stassi (I might as well start using my real nickname on this site since I began commenting more frequently) NO PROBLEM TO BEAR WITH YOUR CHALLENGES. THEY REINFORCE CLARITY.

    P.S. THE SELF-GRATITUDE SERIES IS ALL ABOUT FINDING BLESSINGS RATHER THAN FAULTS, BENEFITS RATHER THAN LOSSES, AND VIRTUES RATHER THAN WEAKNESSES. NEITHER LIFE NOR THE LIST WILL EVER BE PERFECT BUT BOTH ARE UNDER CONSTANT REVIEW AS YOU HAVE BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION. THANK YOU.

    GUY

  10. A.GuyMaligned

    Ladies,
    Since the last update, default attitudes 77-81 have been added.
    Guy

  11. cocoa

    Since joining and enjoying the real life education here and I feel better about myself and even grateful for my life and marriage despite that I did not choose my husband. This always bothered me, but now, I am so grateful.

    I may add this sir Guy, and I am not sure if it’s in my nature as a female (a female that is so feminine and very soft hearted) or is this something we learn as we grow, I am grateful that I have the ability to activate my hard headness when I am all soft and mushy on the inside and have the ability to show my softheartness when the world is so harsh and hard on the outside. Are we born with this? Either way I am grateful to have this quality.

    Let me know what you think sir Guy.

    P.s. I started practising some of the points above in front of the mirror. Never thought that I would do that one day!

    Your Highness Cocoa,
    Right on. Yes, that’s a quality inherited at birth. Life teaches you and self-gratitude guides you when it’s most appropriate to use your hard headedness and soft heartedness. Yours in #82 on the list.
    Guy

  12. A.GuyMaligned

    Ladies,
    Default attitude #82 has been added to the list. It’s from Cocoa.
    Also, I have clarified many of the items. I use parentheses to separate qualities inherited at birth from lessons learned later in in life.
    Guy

  13. surfercajun

    In the kitchen this morning thinking about my default attitudes you listed. I don’t remember but is there one listed in which one is a grateful wife? Grateful for being asked to marry someone, be provided for, having children with, and loving the mundane of housework because it provides a sense of belonging, a confront to come home to, and joy when guests visit. She is easily going about her day and is not rushed. Furthermore, she has a sense of calm about her day and her responsibilities. She knows who needs prayer, a visit, phone call or perhaps a note mailed, the temperament of her children, and how her husbands needs her after a long arduous day.

    Your Highness Surfercajun,
    I’m adding this to the list as #83. Does it catch your spirit sufficiently well?
    “I am so grateful that I have the potential to find a great life as someone’s wife. (First for being asked to marry and then for finding importance in family, belonging, emotional comfort, and joy of life among others.) [from Surfercajun]”
    Guy

  14. surfercajun

    Sweeter said! Thank you for bringing charm and love into the words I fumble to say. :o)

    Your Highness Surfercajun,
    Actually, the charm, love, and lack of fumble were in your words. Well described too. I eased them out to gain objectivity.
    Guy

  15. I don’t know if this falls into this list, but. . . .I am grateful that I possess the resourcefulness to create a beautiful and comfortable life without spending much money so I can lighten the burden on my husband 🙂

    Your Highness Amyr002,

    Well done, my lady. Well phrased. I added it verbatim as #84.

    Incidentally, welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    Guy

    • A.GuyMaligned

      Dear Readers,

      I challenge you. Convince me that the new default attitude cited below is not a spirit embedded in the female heart at birth. I admit that real life tampers with it and maybe current mate squelches it. But, how can I believe otherwise than that you brought the spirit with you originally. Perhaps it helped shape your girlhood hopes and dreams. Here’s the 84th default attitude as proposed by Amry002.

      84. I am grateful that I possess the resourcefulness to create a beautiful and comfortable life without spending much money so I can lighten the burden on my husband.

      All disagreements and confirmations are welcome.

      Guy

      • screamstyle

        84 is embedded in the female heart at birth. It’s one of the reasons why women love to bargain shop and can’t wait to tell you why they got a dress or anything for that matter at a steal. I think it also ties into our natural desire to be creative…aka draw, sew, design, create, make.

  16. surfercajun

    Eating eagerly as men do adds to her proportions. …when husband’s hide food with store purchased sauces, it does not make one feel like they have done well …even now after I have perfected my craft. This is still done… I see it as a sign of disrespect. Perhaps add something from a mother in law and the damage that can be done? …Mother in law told my husband… ____ use to be sweet, you have trained her well…. not allowing our husbands to change our femininity of who we are unless it directs us to a higher level of love or of God. Not take us away from it. I would respectfully add we should look for a man that will pray for us as well as with us. I was a very native girl.

  17. Magnolia

    Sir Guy,

    This is so beautiful, so amazing. I was wondering if you can help me help a male friend who is at a low point of his life. We talked the other day and he asked for advice. What would the equivalent of this be for men? What can help them brighten their day? What works to lift a man’s sadness and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness? I would imagine it has to do with anything tied to his sense of significance. Something that would add to it. Right? Can you help me help him? I have known him for many years and had no idea he was feeling this way. Never saw him like this before.

    Your Highness Magnolia,

    Your dilemma prompted today’s article, #2105. Thanks for the inspiration.

    You can think well of herself for his seeking you out. You must be a very well-respected lady.

    Guy

  18. Magnolia

    Thank you for your kind words. 🙂

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