2201. Respect: The Man’s Side

Her Highness Cinnamon asks what ‘respect’ looks like.

Most of the respect females show males is the absence of action. Men, being visual and action oriented creatures, identify respect as the absence of distractions and disturbances. Consequently, you are automatically respectful of men when you pay close attention to what each one says and does. (Don’t get angry yet, gals, your side comes tomorrow.)

A man does not expect to earn your respect. It’s just due him. He will do what it takes to earn your love but not your respect. If he has to earn respect, he has to vacate his dominant perch and instruct you on how to treat him. That in itself earns disrespect. (I’m the boss; do as I say, not as I do.)

A man sets his goal to capture you. He discovers your virtues. They confirm his intention to proceed and confirm that your loyalty and likeability agreeably match his own. Finally he verifies that your fascination is potentially promising as a mate. It’s another version of walking himself to the altar founded on the background presumption first and visible evidence second that proves he’s respected by you.

There are many ways of respecting your man, but you usually use those that produce the best results to please yourself. (Unfortunately, it’s easy for your emotions, habits, and outside influences to steer you off course.) Here are some good ways:

1. Speaking highly of him in front of others when he’s not present.
2. Deferring to his judgments including those that you suppose or figure he would make.
3. Uplifting him before the children especially when he’s not present.
4. Displaying quality in what you do for him, whether cooking, cleaning, or errand running. (Anyone can do those things, but adding quality signifies respect.)
5. Displaying loving gestures that deepen your loyalty and likeability (which amplifies his conviction).
6. Speaking in the company of others, you look at his face and not around the room or at those present. You’re interested in what he has to say. (If you’re not, why should others be interested in him?)
7. Smiling, you find that his earns yours and hope vice versa.
8. Speaking, you listen and then respond to what you heard. Then you respond with your agenda second instead of first.
9. Needing help (e.g., with the dishes) but he refuses, too busy. Smilingly, pleasantly, and teasingly you remind him of his superior role in this vail of tears. (You rule the rooster best when you can’t be defeated in spirit. When he figures you’re disappointed, it’s far more meaningful. Maintaining his respect is better for the future than cooperation or sympathy in the present.)
10. Holding for you the restaurant door, you let him precede to the hostess and hope he lets you go in front to the table. (Men appear respectable to women and set a good example for men when they defer politely to women in public. Etiquette is more than fancy behavior; it generates mutual respect.)
11. Departing social situations you look for his guidance. (Of course your glance can be commanding but it doesn’t reflect as disrespect, which it can if overemphasized or overused.)
12. Demanding isn’t your style, especially in public. (And best not even in private. You have too many other skills that uphold respect.)
13. Avoiding the endless ‘clacking’ of details about the mundane, you honor his intelligence as worthy and useful in his private mental “space.” [Thanks to Sharon.]

You ladies are invited to help me add to this list. I will as new thoughts come to mind.

It’s your side tomorrow so stay tuned for 2202. Your purpose of respecting men is to please yourself. If not, you do it wrongly.

2169. Chivalry — Recovery is Everything and Overdue

If you read the first post on this subject, #2168, why have we as a culture so readily accepted the intentional murder of chivalry at the hands of feminists? More importantly, how do we recover if the feminists were to let us? Or why should we even try?

I talk much about the character and custom-setting deeds of our forebears and how society’s female-friendly standards shrink. Perhaps chivalry could help right our sinking cultural ship, so I describe the road to recovery.

Chivalry indirectly leads to female happiness in one of life’s cause-and-effect natural phenomena. The process that follows is produced by both sexes following their hearts to live according to the natural condition they inherit at birth. It’s what instinct and intuition lead men and women to do naturally. It contributes greatly to general compatibility that leads respectably to enjoyable mating and indirectly to better fulfillment of girlhood hopes and dreams.

However, the practice has to be taught in childhood. That’s right. Both sexes need to have the benefits of following one’s instincts reinforced. God provides no owner’s manual until old enough to study the Bible. So, parents have to close the gap.

Male Nature:

• Women are born to earn happiness over time. Men are born to earn satisfaction through daily achievements, and chivalry provides significant opportunity for both sexes.
• His actions generate his feelings. A male who practices chivalry develops over time a deeply-rooted belief that he should unconditionally respect females, which includes the desire to give unconditionally, which enables him to eagerly find favor with a female, which energizes him to put his convenience momentarily at the disposal of a female, which makes him feel good about himself, which earns self-admiration, which provides satisfaction that he did the right thing. His chivalrous actions program his heart with those feelings (so long as the process isn’t interrupted by female signals that his effort isn’t welcome, in which case his will power and determination have to say ‘don’t quit’).
• To boy or man brought up to be chivalrous, it becomes a duty. They are automatically responsible for distressed or otherwise discombobulated females. Fulfilling one’s duty is not an event that deserves reward, and men don’t appreciate unearned gifts. Consequently, women don’t know much about rewarding a chivalrous act, even though mere acknowledgement is sufficient when a guy does his duty.
• It’s a hard and fast belief developed in childhood. Teaching boys that females are weaker and, therefore, to be protected makes males feel stronger, which opens the male heart to helping, which opens the door for chivalry, which defines a new duty, which energizes males to earn female favor, which produces a male at her disposal, which makes females feel superior, which puts her in the role of boss, which confirms she’s not the weaker sex, which guys can accept unless it’s verbalized.

Female Nature:

• As you’ve read so often on this blog, women are born to be happy but they have to earn it. It comes from each woman’s gratitude for herself compounded by gratefulness for others in her life. Treated chivalrously, she becomes grateful for who she is and what she deserves, which adds to her sense of self-importance and ability to pass her gratitude on to others.
• Chivalrous actions make a female feel superior. Her heart becomes programmed with respect and gratitude, which makes girls and women more grateful for themselves, which contributes to their happiness. Indirectly, chivalrous men help women find happiness. Also, his actions program her heart with respect and appreciation for males.

However, the foundation of chivalry is a delightful charade based on male eagerness to deceive themselves about females. Men are extremely unwilling to acknowledge any superiority to women; it’s inconsistent with their natural sense of dominance. By focusing solely on physical abilities and calling females the weaker sex, men can ‘prove’ to themselves that any superiority attached to the female gender is inconsequential. Chivalry confirms the weakness of one sex, which strokes the ego of men, and lifts any burden from men to admit otherwise. That’s the female-friendly charade that men develop to win female favor, but also to protect their own sense of significance.

Which begs the question, isn’t Feminism designed to highlight the superiority of women? Sure, but it doesn’t work except with the power of government imposed for legal, political, and economic advancements that become toxic when brought into both social and domestic relationships by well-meaning women with unrealistic expectations.

History proves the sexes can live compatibly. Men can’t and won’t do so when women impose their superiority to get their way. Either women keep their superior nature to themselves and avoid reminding men that it even exists, or men resent, resist, and often retaliate. To admit women are superior is to admit manly insignificance, which by nature is a man’s greatest fear that ranks with her fear of abandonment, which is what he does when she goes too far.

I submit that men or boys who are raised to be chivalrous, are not the same males who are abusing and disrespecting women and children on a regular basis. True chivalry, when ingrained in a boy, serves him throughout life. It provides a sense of satisfaction when he is able to help, please, win their favor, or delight women and children. It also serves as an internalized insurance policy against him becoming an abuser. Men can’t hit women, if taught to be chivalrous in boyhood.

Observe these Italian boys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2OcKQ_mbiQ and watch to the end.

You saw with the Italian boys how easily a charade can be turned into more safety for females. One simple admission, females are weaker, which enables males to ignore female superiority as long as it remains inadmissible as evidence for females to get their way. It’s easily and best taught in childhood. That’s next as this series grows from two to three installments.

 

2131. Male Blessings — How Men Start Out In Life

The following are the essentials and the forerunner of Male Blessings At Birth to be posted soon at blog top.

Female blessings are qualities that make women grateful and are first steps to their happiness. Male blessings are heart-felt characteristics that men possess without regard to gratitude; they are just that way and are born to claim it. It’s just possession rather than gratitude. Their claims, however, are essential for each man to earn satisfaction within himself. Satisfaction, it’s the natural equivalent of happiness for women.

Ladies, you may be shocked especially with the first item. All men readers are urged to disagree if they can; I seek to post the truth clearly. Before lessons learned in life teach him to be more circumspect, agreeable, and perhaps polished because he wants something from women, a typical man would say:

1. Until I upgrade them in my interest, women play a subordinate role in my life: a) They can be fun to play with mentally and physically. b) They make marvelous distractions from everyday burdens. c) They are vital for my sex life. d) Having a good mate can make life more convenient, functional, and enjoyable and my ambitions more easily realized.
2. My life is built on, around, over, under, and through self-respect.
3. I respect myself but find I must reinforce it regularly by doing something until I am at least temporarily satisfied.
4. I feel satisfied and respectable following the completion of something I set out to do. Less so when ordered to do it or it’s not my idea. And disrespected when told to do something I already know how to do.
5. My self-respect becomes reinforced when I do everything right the first time. But I become frustrated with disturbing surprises, undue interruptions, and when things don’t proceed or turn out my way.
6. I respect myself for doing something better as I see it—or doing something else as I want it—and enabling it all to lead to contentment. IOW, life’s rewards are in the satisfaction that comes from doing what I want to do and just how I want to do it.
7. I work to accomplish things and feelings don’t count as things (except  self-respect).
8. I am my own man. I don’t change to please others and especially not females.
9. I don’t respect myself when I criticize others. I don’t like my tendency to criticize myself, and so I don’t inflict it on anyone else. Let them learn from their own mistakes the same way I do.
10. I respect myself even when I seem to act impulsively. Much of what I accomplish well is prompted by need to act quickly.
11. I respect myself for being a ‘figure-outer’. I believe in what I figure out much easier and more indelibly than what others convince me of. (So, why stop and ask for directions?)
12. Having to explain myself is contrary to my self-respect.
13. I support and uphold self-respect by living by and with my responsibilities and decisions surrounding them.
14. Criticize me if you like. I can take it. Do it too much though and I’ll get even or leave.
15. My erections are to be used. How I do it contributes significantly to self-respect. Hard thrusting and deep penetration amplify my sense of dominance and enhance my self-worth like nothing else. Orgasm isn’t the prime mover; it’s feedback of job well done.
16. My sex drive comes in two very different versions. a) Conquer every sexually attractive woman I can, which significantly amplifies self-respect. b) Satisfy my sexual urges in the best way available at the moment of erection, which reinforces self-respect unless my conscience says otherwise.
17. Purity is important but symbolic. I prefer a virgin bride in order to beat out all those other guys who tried and failed. As with other things I pursue, being first enhances self-respect.
18. My conscience is guided by what’s best for my self-interest, which may or may not include the interest of someone else.
19. I am easily self-encouraged to both play and be lazy, but I’m built for work. Self-satisfaction lies with work and I can’t always play or be lazy. I love to build, disassemble, grow, change, improve, and replace things to make life easier. Enabling and earning laziness that way provides immense satisfaction.
20. I am responsible only for myself until I purposely step up to something or someone else, which takes a lot of selling for me to buy in. (Note the contradiction that women have to work out. He expects to be sold on providing/protecting but she expects to be sold on his merit as potential mate. He buys into the concept by selling her on the idea of buying into him. IOW, relationship experts have to convince men to sell themselves down the marital river.)
21. I’m simple. I respect myself for being pretty easy to understand.
22. I love to idle my mind, to shift into neutral. It’s nourishes me mentally.
23. I’m not fearful. I can figure out how to prevent or overcome whatever comes up.
24. I can recover from almost anything and know who to recruit for help if I need it.
25. Complaining produces no beneficial results except to make me feel better about relieving myself of unwanted mental burdens.
26. I see no reason for more than minimal foreplay. If I’m ready, she’s ready.
27. I expect people to earn my respect before I trust them.
28. I’m very particular about food, money, and women and don’t care to explain myself.
29. I’m not particular about emotions except my own. I can handle mine and expect others to do the same.
30. I’m a man of habit. I like what I like and expect to keep doing it and loving it.
31. My weaknesses shame me, and illness tends to do the same.
32. I’m a good lover whenever I choose to be but most women are not worth the extra effort.
33. I don’t expect others to like me. If they do that’s fine. If they don’t that’s okay too.
34. I’m a creature of habits that I create and have little or no wish to change.
35. I will make a difference. Don’t know when or where, but I will.
36. I’m capable of doing good in life but everyday conditions don’t make it worthwhile. Incentives are lacking to do anything but take care of myself as best I can.
37. I’m a daily guy. I feel a sense of dignity if I have somewhere to go in the morning, some obligation to start my day. I can handle tomorrow when it gets here.
38. I think the primary purpose of money is convenience, mostly for use now.
39. I intuitively reject efforts to be or act female-like. It weakens my self-respect and makes me less respectable.
40. Might makes right.
41. I’m a taker. I appreciate whatever I may get but I don’t much respect those who give for nothing. I expect to earn what I get.
42. As a hunter-conqueror I find hard-to-conquer targets far more appealing and valuable as reinforcement for my self-respect.
43. The most intolerable offense against my self-respect is sexual infidelity of my mate. Revealing my sexual shortcomings to anyone is second. Lying is third and stealing fourth.
44. A woman who diligently protects her sexual assets as her greatest asset earns respect. To do less is to respect her less.
45. After conquering a woman, I ‘own’ our sexual agenda.
46. I don’t like to admit it, but my greatest fear is insignificance.
47. I only need one thing. A place to flop, eat, throw my things, and prepare to fight tomorrow’s dragons. I need my stuff to be left alone so I can find it when I need it.
48. I crave the freedom to do my own life by living with my own decisions.
49. My primary challenge in life is to beat all those other guys who aspire to do what I want to do.
50. I am not easily offended. Even when I am, I get over it fairly easy. I like it best and things work better when normal is what is normal for me.

There must be more blessings that men inherit at birth, but they haven’t yet come to mind. Those above will soon be explained in greater detail similar to that of Female Blessings at Birth. The result will be posted permanently at blog top. I invite readers, especially men readers, to propose revisions or new blessings we males may inherit at birth.

In the meantime, I ask all readers for your opinion about the accuracy of those posted above. This is a review prior to permanent posting. It’s how men are born and not what they learn in life; you can see early traces in toddler boys. Agree or disagree? Suggestion: Use T or F for any numbered item. Better yet, use B for believable or U for unbelievable. Truth and clarity drive me to do this. Other comments are also welcome and desired if you take exception to anything.

Thank you for whatever opinions you choose to present.

2123. Mirror Time — Part I: Pretty is as Pretty Does

 Ladies, you are born pretty and unlike anyone else. You know it in your heart. If you fail to exploit and make the most of it, you will continually find yourself unsatisfied with your life. I aim this series at an option that will help fulfill your hopes and dreams by fulfilling yourself with yourself.

So, I define my terms.

• ‘Pretty’ is much more than your face. It’s your spirit of importance to yourself. It’s your emotions, motivations, and expectations wrapped into and confirmed by your physical appearance and emotional outlook; you please yourself and elevate your confidence. You feel you’re good and attractive enough to get your way.
• ‘Prettify’ is getting there. Emotions, mind, and heart work together to convince you of your importance to people around you. But you need frequent reinforcement, and that’s where the mirror comes in.
• Physical beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It’s only present when someone else says it is—a judgment call—so it’s someone else’s opinion and at best just a subset of your prettiness.

A woman’s prime motivator is to be self-important, and exploiting your prettiness is the first step. All else follows that, even your self-gratitude. IOW, you’re not likely to be very important to those around you if you don’t exploit your prettiness to your satisfaction. When exploited by using your mirror-reflected image, an aura of beauty arises that outshines the physical. (Physical attractiveness doesn’t cause happiness; the world is full of so-called beautiful people who lack it.)

Females thrive on that feminine aura often called vanity, and that’s next.

 

772. The Blessings of Patriarchy — Chapter 1

It’s a man’s view, but modern women need re-education about WHY they should mine the gold in patriarchy. I hope you stay for the whole show, uh, I mean epic. The chapters are Wealth, Women, Swap-meet, Men, and Rewards.

WEALTH

·        Men have the greater ability to create wealth; it’s embedded in their competitive nature. Women have the greater need for wealth; it’s embedded in both their need for a brighter future and primal fear of abandonment.

·        Wealth is anything of value to the owner, and creating more wealth stimulates the economy. The greater the wealth, the better off are the people and especially women and children.

·        Private ownership of wealth benefits everyone, provided it is distributed fairly—that is, everyone has equal opportunity to build, accrue, and own it. As we have it in America.

·        Natural male dominance makes men capable of denying, suppressing, and taking wealth from women. Consequently, females have to compensate to make men share for more than sex. We call it marriage.

Chapter 2 tomorrow describes the females’ interests.

728. Gender Differences Revisited — Group I

1. Conquest changes a man. He is no longer ‘in the hunt’ for that woman. Marriage changes a woman. Her husband can be made better, and she’s the one to improve him.
2. Dealing with the opposite sex, a man’s strength lies with directness and a woman’s with indirectness.
3. Men naturally dominate the present in both society and workplace. Women naturally dominate the future in both home and culture. (Male-dominated religions reject these natural imperatives. Our Judeo-Christian culture enables women to exploit these forces of Nature.)
4. Females specialize in loving others, but men specialize at something else.
5. Girls teach boys the requirements and finer details of dealing with females. Or boys learn to be guided by their hurricane of hormonal impulses even into adult life.
6. Girls dream about the right man and building a life together. Boys dream about doing things when they grow up, and a mate sometimes fills the background.
7. Men are impressed by what they see. Women are impressed by what they hear.
8. Women need affection, men don’t, and so men are weak at providing it. Men need respect, women don’t, and so women are weak at providing it.

681. Sex differences explain men — Chap. 37

Women pay more attention to their bodies than their minds. They focus on making their bodies work for them, either to function better or appear well before others. Their social success starts with admiration by females and attractiveness to men, both of which stem more from body than mind. They dream in detail about the future while dressing and fixing up their appearance.

Men do the opposite. As long as their body functions as expected, it’s okay. As competitors among men and hunter-conquerors among women, they keep their mind primed for what’s really happening, what happened, and what’s coming up. They toss around ideas and choose options while in an alert mental state. They dream broadly about the future in their spare time but leave details for later.

672. Favored Quotes — Collection 4

• A man will keep a mistress a mistress because if he marries her, the fantasy is ovah! (Theresa on 4/6/09 at AUTHOR page)   
• We as women and mothers try our best to instill in our children “don’t fall to peer pressure” and what have we done ourselves? Fallen into the quicksand of peer pressure [from those that imbibe Feminism]. (Angela at 548)
• I wish I had learned from [mother] as a young adult, rather than from women’s magazines. (Princess Rita at 661)
• The David and Goliath story has always given me much comfort, courage, and hope when facing overwhelming adversity. In this cultural/political/spiritual battle your wisdom is a sharp stone in David’s slingshot against the giant pervasive media, and feminist brainwashed culture. (Favored especially for the vivid metaphor by Lady Carmen at ALARM BELLS page)
• Racism never would have existed if females had never put up with it. If a male shows the **slightest** bit of being racist, females should shun him. Us just being around racist males will mean that we approve of it. Racism literally breeds racism. Breed with a racist male, racism will continue. (Dogsandfitness at 667)