The sexes differ another way too, and you ladies won’t care much for the surprise.
Women equate their own uniqueness with what they do extra mostly to please men or a man; unique by being different and out-competing other women. Men equate female uniqueness with other-than-strictly-sex qualities they admire, which become virtues, which tend to attract a man as if magnetically.
Men equate their own uniqueness with their sexual performance. Women equate masculine uniqueness with a man’s ability and propensity to treat women kindly, affectionately, and respectfully.
Misled by not understanding the male nature, women try to be unique in the bedroom only to find in the long run that it’s wasted effort. Her bedroom talent and skills just do not hold a man close to her. She plays up her sex appeal, yes. But virtues a man discovers outside the bedroom have the magnetic appeal that morphs eventually from romantic into enduring love.
It means her bedroom qualities are not what keeps him; they help but they’re not key. I don’t say her love-making abilities are not admired. She is just not unique during intercourse; his dynamic focus drowns it. She comes in second to his achievement and she doesn’t rank nearly as high after orgasm. That’s why post-coital intimacy is not part of his habits. His being spent demotes her importance.
Women are not unique in bed unless they gain that vaunted status beforehand; gained out of bed and upright rather than horizontal. Even then it passes unnoticed in bed, because men focus on exactly what is familiar and similar with other women.
A woman’s uniqueness is the product of a man’s eyes, curiosity, and imagination. All of which fade with erectile penetration, and with it for a short time goes her qualities unrelated to sex. IOW, all women can fornicate so none is unique once the monster with two backs appears.
A man’s sense of his own uniqueness comes out in bed with a woman—in his mind, that is. Consequently, when he’s unique, she’s not, and it begs the question.
Q. What is the value of her uniqueness for him?
A. Sex bonds a woman but not a man. Sex may capture him temporarily, but it won’t keep him. She needs something else outside the bed. Men want to marry a virtuous woman. Her virtues arise out of her qualities that he admires. Fed by his admiration, her qualities morph into virtues, which compound into fascination, which makes her appear promising as future mate, which makes her truly unique among other women. Thus, her promise as potential mate makes her uniqueness bloom and confirm that his actions to win her are not wasted.
The lure of her uniqueness pulls him along right through courtship and on to the altar. IOW, if she is not unique, not having earned it outside the bed, she has little promise to meet him in front of the parson.
Trying to be unique in bed is thus wasted effort for her. Oh, not trying to be pretty and attractive but that’s not unique. He ignores all but her body anyway, while he focuses on being his own loveable and loving self trying to earn the laurels of ‘best lover’ from her. He knows he deserves that title, and her confirmation afterward triggers his imagination in her favor for the future. She may be of sufficient interest to warrant the label of unique. But she should bet her chips on being unique outside of bed, if she hopes to keep him for more than a few years.