I close this series with two posts and two patterns. This first one points to things that build compatibility. Tomorrow the second one points to the opposite.
These tradeoffs worked well to build compatibility over the past couple centuries:
♦ She depends on him for producing, providing, protecting, and problem solving, which confirm his importance and value to her. She acts and talks her reliance on him, especially in front of others because it reinforces her own thinking and, consequently, her feelings.
♦ He shows her deference in respectful ways that enable her to build admirable status and stature to confirm and lift her self-respect.
♦ He gives what she needs and doesn’t block her potential to earn high status and stature in home and community. In return she exploits it with graciousness that generates more feminine and ladylike behavior, which generates more status and stature, which generates more respect and love from him.
♦ Her ladylike behavior also makes her appear more independent of male domination, without reflecting adversely on him. She makes him feel fortunate for her, and so he looks good to others—especially male competitors.
♦ Enraptured with her femaleness her feminine side shines. She’s busy being her self-respecting self and brightening her future by generating his dependency on her. She contributes so much to family and home that dependence on him becomes virtually a right.
Tomorrow the flip side of this coin.