2398. PROVERBS — Marriage 05

  1. He needs a place to flop daily and recover to fight the dragons tomorrow. She needs a brighter future, such as building a good man’s castle can provide.
  2. It’s a natural trade-off. He governs present-day matters and she oversees their future interests. She plans the details of what he chooses to ignore or not plan.
  3. He pleases her by fulfilling her wish list for his behavior. She pleases him by respecting, admiring, and depending on his accomplishments.
  4. She willingly and happily nurtures and cares for others. He seldom volunteers on such matters. Except to please himself or her, he just doesn’t care to do it.
  5. If he can’t do something very well, he avoids it; e.g., nursing care. If she can’t do something well, she tries harder or solicits help from someone or elsewhere.
  6. Women pursue sex for intimacy; men pursue it for self-admiration, confirmation of dominance, and to prove their sexual ability.
  7. Immediate gratification isn’t essential to feel good. Inexpensively reward yourself each time you avoid a big purchase or an unplanned big expense.
  8. Reward yourself and inspire and develop new habits; e.g., reward yourself for staying within budget, meeting saving goals, and avoiding credit card interest.
  9. Romantic love fades a year or two after conquest. Enduring love requires her man’s respect that she earned before conquest and continues to maintain.
  10. Respect trumps love. If a mother’s love isn’t predominantly based on respect as person, child, and boy or girl and unselfishly shown, then it isn’t mother-love.

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Filed under How she wins, marriage, nurturing, sex differences

2397. PROVERBS — Singles 05

  1. Her love magnifies with dreams. It intensifies as she realizes that her man of choice will adjust himself to help fulfill her girlhood hopes and dreams.
  2. Her past appears closer to virginity, when his imagination figures that all those other men must have failed too, because he can’t conquer her.
  3. Her refusals to permit a man’s conquest in spite of his maximum effort registers deep inside him as greater respect for her.
  4. Her unmarried sexual activity and his respect of her restraint work like a zero-sum game. The less activity, the more respect and vice versa.
  5. Holding out during a long courtship enables her to determine his true character and intention. She eventually figures out whether he’s after her or just sex.
  6. Hook up but no call? Shack up but no joy? Married but no peace? Then she better change herself, because men don’t or won’t.
  7. If he mistakes her friendliness for something else, she has uniquely subtle ways to turn him off without offense and the character to dissuade him with offense.
  8. If women don’t want to brighten their world by making themselves femininely attractive, men are released and will ‘uglify’ their world to their liking and style.
  9. In addition to encouraging more unmarried sex, feminist thinking prompts women to blame men for the consequent need of relationship maintenance.
  10. It’s poor choice to expect new man’s empathy or sympathy about her ex. He’s more curious to figure out how her behavior then will impact him now.



Filed under courtship, exes, feminine, Feminism: OOPS!

2396. Women in Combat?????

At 2389 Her Highness My Husband’s Wife inquired of my take on women in combat. By now you’ve heard many pros and cons, so I offer a new view or two.

For many cultural and political reasons, I oppose women in combat. Anytime female interest is brought into the male workplace, anti-accomplishment troubles erupt. It’s not the women’s fault; it’s the mixing and constant remixing of differing and usually opposed emotional interests that surround strategy, tactics, and how to organize and achieve an  organization’s mission.

Women are born to proactively favor compassion over conflict, assertiveness over aggression, and peace over violence. The military is programmed to maximize advantage from conflict, aggression, and violence. Men fit that model much better than women. Because of natural interference while working together on strategy, tactics, and missions, combat capability suffers when women are made influential by virtue of rank. Combat effectiveness is close behind.

Men seek to avoid competing with women, except for first-time sexual conquest. It’s a strong preference, almost a restriction they are born with. OTOH, women by virtue of birth seek to cooperate, which of necessity is subordinate in a command-oriented organization. In combat, their natures become opposed and coordination harder at all hierarchical levels.

By their nature, women seek to avoid violence; they may be trained to overcome their natural resistance, but one very natural pause, slow reaction, or hint of compassion can get one—or worse, teammates—killed.

Women are the weakest link in preserving combat effectiveness. They are inculcated by Nature to find ways not to fight. Also, being the strongest link for shaping the American culture’s future and homefront, they are the strongest influence to shape the military toward being more peaceful, which is contrary to what’s needed for combat effectiveness.

Female leaders in battle face the enemy in both surprise and emergency situations. Their nature springs forth under the inevitable adrenaline surge and responds by instantaneously looking for the no-conflict, compassionate, gentler, or cooperative way out. After that, their military training enables them to turn to aggression and violence as path to follow. However, men instantaneously and naturally respond with aggression and violence necessary to reduce surprises and emergencies to their control, regardless of who or what they face.

The core of combat effectiveness is respect for leaders, especially one’s on-scene leaders when facing danger. If female combat leaders are not respected for their proficiency at the same level as male leaders, both combat capability and effectiveness suffer. Respect enforced by rank and policy do not convince men to respect female leaders at some effective level, regardless of bureaucratic intention. Only raw talent, superior knowledge, and admirable skills earn masculine respect. The law of averages says that few women have or deserve it when the fit hits the shan.

I’m not saying women can’t lead in battle or on the bureaucratic front. Women have a much more powerful role in society when they don’t copy masculine ways or upstage male leaders in matters that require conflict, aggression, and violence. Women are extremely more qualified than men in pulling people together in common but peaceful effort, while men are the opposite by virtue of their different nature.


Women in combat is another leftist, feminist, political, and purposeful step at alienating men from home, family, children, and female-desired loving relationships. Progressives, who dominate today’s political class, seek to sustain male-female animosity and unpleasantness in order to grow the need for bigger government and spending to resolve what government broke.

Combat is the latest indirect method of blaming men so women can escape responsibility for relationship troubles. That is, feminists taught women to act less feminine and more masculine, which pits the genders in direct competition, which men seek to avoid. It works against the direct interest of women. Consequently, women reach for excuses at men’s expense to compensate for not feeling comfortable with and grateful for themselves.

IOW, they don’t like themselves for who they are and so they blame men and adjust by duplicating masculine behavior—that is, more of the same. If you don’t like the gender to which you belong, how can you ever truly enjoy life as God or Nature makes it possible? (Enjoyment, incidentally, in which Progressives and political class elitists have no interest.)

Men have and work with the short view, the present. Women have and work with the long view, the future. Men are best able to control the present and shape human events. Women are best able to match up the future with female hopes and dreams and patiently work out the details for making it happen in female-friendly fashion. To do that, each woman does it best by using her man’s castle as her place of employment.

I’m not against women in the workplace; they deserve such freedom. It should be an individual choice, however, and not based on political propaganda that makes relationships malfunction and society unfriendly for females and children. As does government mandates to please minorities and override majority opinion, such as women in combat does.


Having examined for 65 years how people are motivated and for well over a decade how the genders are born differently, I conclude that American greatness flowed from feminine influence empowered by the Declaration of Independence and Constitution.

Men conquered the West, but wives civilized it. That is, wives told husbands what they didn’t and did want society to look like. Responding deliberately but proudly pleased with whatever they achieved, each generation of husbands continued to weave all the threads together to produce what American wives (not singles) desired to make society more family-, female-, wife-, mother-, and children-friendly. Husbands shaped human events to please their wives, who in turn pleased husbands with castle-building. Wives encouraged husbands to better satisfy themselves at their work, which helped improve prosperity for all.

The naturally developed outcome—our Judeo-Christian culture—empowered men as best able to dominate the workplace and society (i.e., what we all do), while women were empowered as best able to dominate the home and the culture (i.e., wives-developed values and standards that guide and we all predominately follow in shaping society into whatever it becomes). However, political activists smothered the process after World War II.


Nowadays, self-identified elitists empower themselves to control others with elitist-identified political pressure from which highly destructive political correctness has emerged as most noticeable weapon. Having been made fashionable to please feminists, political pressures now make society unlikeable to both genders. Society now operates contrary to mutually respectful acceptance of both genders, and it extends to combat capability and effectiveness.

Feminists and supporters want to dominate both workplace and shaping of human events, which means they presume to know best what men have felt responsible to do for millennia. So, they act like men and mistakenly presume men will accept it as women expect them to—hah!

Radical feminists set out to eliminate patriarchy; the unannounced implication being that matriarchy will soon replace it. They sought to reverse 7,000 years of history by putting men down, blame them, and expect them to acquiesce to feminist thought. The result has been the opposite; disrespectful male dominance increases, which doesn’t bode well for matriarchy or modern women and children. Men just shape human events in more aggressive and anti-female ways rather than the more polite ways they displayed with patriarchal dominance before Feminism.

Women deserve and can lead men. But their natures are compatible only when women do it indirectly and patiently and leave direct, impatient, and often offensive leadership to men. Wives of the past few centuries led husbands that way and together they generated several centuries of cultural progress and economic prosperity. The wives thus turned two male-dominated religions, Christianity and Judaism, into our female-dominated Judeo-Christian value system. The acceptance of women in combat crucifies the memory of those stubborn wives who insisted that society be shaped by men as women envision it, which enabled each woman to promote peace in her nest, harmony in husband’s castle, and successful development of all their children.


Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, Feminism: OOPS!, sex differences, Sociology 101

2395. PROVERBS — Sex 04

  1. Men are born naturally self-convinced of their sexual ability to perform excellently. They’re difficult to change, and only highly respected women can.
  2. Men have two independent sexual urges. 1) To conquer sexually attractive females they think possible. 2) To have frequent and convenient access to sex.
  3. The hunter-conqueror’s primary sex urge motivates a man to conquer attractive women, who then become either keeper, booty, or disposable.
  4. Of men’s two sexual urges, to conquer for first-time sex is strongest. The second urge is the most promising for women to satisfy and overcome the first.
  5. Women have this natural understanding: To capture and keep a mate by satisfying his urge for frequent and convenient access. Lose the obligation and lose him.
  6. Lovemaking comes in three acts: foreplay, intercourse, and after-play. The first and last—if done ‘right’—satisfy women and the middle satisfies men.
  7. When women are not regularly fulfilled in both foreplay and after-play, they can’t convince themselves that intercourse makes their man a lover.
  8. Loving her means greater arousal than intercourse alone generates. Foreplay arouses her with an eager heart, after-play pleasingly confirms her importance.
  9. Women need intimacy; men don’t. After sex, sustained holding, cuddling, and affectionate whispers confirm her importance and worth to him.
  10. Except as one well-respected woman convinces him to ignore his urge to conquer other women, he’s free to move on after each target is conquered.

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2394. PROVERBS — Marriage 04

  1. Drop or compensate for impulse buying, compulsive shopping, and immediate gratification. It earns self-respect and shows respect for hubby.
  2. Men by nature have little or no interest in nesting, nurturing, or nestling. They have to be taught before puberty by females.
  3. Men by nature have little or no interest in intimate cuddling/snuggling after sex. They learn it from females and adapt best when pleasing her pleases him.
  4. Men escape being parented when they leave their childhood home. They won’t accept it by a wife and especially not in front of others.
  5. Men have multiple missions and work hard to accomplish goals; daily they work, rest, recover, and prepare for tomorrow’s battles with their dragons.
  6. Men marry to ‘own’ frequent and convenient access to sex. Except as his imagination determines otherwise, all vaginas are alike, so she has to be unique.
  7. New school moral relativism breeds abuse and violence of men against women and children. The evil impulses of mankind escape and evade control by individuals.
  8. Only repeated egregious actions by her man shatters her hopes and dreams and, consequently, love. Normally, she’s resilient to his flaws.
  9. Other then connected to sex, women expect to hear affection expressed in multiple ways and need it demonstrated on frequent occasions.
  10. Promiscuously experienced boys make poor mates. Their expectations revolve around sex, and it promotes that more than mate as person/woman/wife/mother.

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2393. PROVERBS — Sex 03

  1. Women have a primary motivation for sex, the expectation of significant intimacy. Meanwhile, men enter it seeking to confirm dominion of a female.
  2. A guy may take a woman to orgasm, but it’s not the same thing as great lovemaking. Lengthy arousal before and intimacy after intercourse trump orgasm for most women.
  3. About her sexual history, the smartest women neither complain nor explain. They disclose the absolute least possible, because men harshly judge such info.
  4. After conquest, the man takes ownership of their sexual agenda if he has lingering interest in keeping her available for more.
  5. After-play intimacy depends on a satisfying ritual of holding, hugging, snuggling, and confirming her importance with kisses and whispers.
  6. Arousal has different sources in foreplay, intercourse, and after-play. He’s in charge; he’s as good a lover as she enjoys sustained periods of arousal.
  7. Arousal is that exhilarating thrill of female sensuousness that arises and is sustained by continuous physical contact that if sustained can lead to orgasm.
  8. Female promiscuity poisons the social marketplace. The de-civilizing effect on males weakens cultural standards by females and de-domesticates males.
  9. Guys don’t think they need it, but there’s room for improvement if they become better informed of how the female body works and responds to a man’s stimulation.
  10. His unstoppable urge is penetration and mission accomplished. His climax will likely occur without regard for what she does. It’s his primal sex urge acted out.



Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, how she win, marriage, sex differences

2392. PROVERBS — Sex Differences 04

  1. He competes as a matter of his nature. She senses that competing with him before marriage and cooperating afterward protect her interests that change.
  2. Women do not need a man, but they want help to be ready in difficult times. Men enjoy it when they can rescue a woman, but it isn’t the same.
  3. Women need a brighter future for them and theirs, and trusting husbands leave it for wives to anticipate, cooperate, plan, and coordinate.
  4. Women naturally act as if they need and can depend on a specific man, much more than the reverse. The compliment seduces him to favor her interest.
  5. Women want help when they need it in a world they can’t dominate, but men leave it for women to handle until women depend on their man.
  6. Women work to love. Men love to work. Else, neither makes a compatible mate.
  7. Women are born pretty. Men are born handy. Mates that perceive each other that way promote compatibility.
  8. She fears abandonment the most. He mostly fears insignificance. As wife fails to uphold husband’s sense of significance, she flirts with abandonment.
  9. She’s motivated to seek self-importance. He’s motivated to seek self-admiration. Acceptance and confirmation by one’s mate makes both more worthy.
  10. He wants independence both inside and outside a relationship. She wants togetherness both inside and outside whatever their ‘arrangement’.


Filed under Dear daughter, How she wins, marriage, sex differences