Down but not out…


Hello All,

This is Guy Jr. My father has recently had some significant health issues and might likely be out of pocket for a while longer. Never fear, however, during his recuperation he tells me he has a number of new, exciting thoughts to share with all of you and will be back ASAP.

Thank you for all your support of WWNH and please keep Sir Guy in your prayers. These have become challenging times for us.

All the best to you all on behalf of Sir Guy,

Guy Jr.

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2750. Essentials of Successful Marriage — 03 Her Battle of the Sexes


At post 2749 I described the War of the Sexes as each woman individually and independently up against all men, competing to see who gets their way. They are blessed by nature to succeed in that arrangement. Men go where the women are, so it’s up to each woman to play her cards independently to her own advantage.

Perhaps contrary to popular thought, the Battle of the Sexes is not about male gender versus female gender, dominance vs. submissive, equality vs. fairness, husband vs. wife, responsibility vs. irresponsibility. It’s easy to believe those competitive connections to be normal. However, God didn’t design us, Nature and genetics don’t endow us, and hormones don’t energize us that way.*

The Battle of the Sexes is one on one, begins with first encounter, and she commands the battleground. One woman willing to yield her independence under the right conditions versus one man willing to suppress his dominant nature long enough to conquer her. She inherits the burden to convince him that she’s much more endearing to him personally and more valuable for his life than are his hopes of conquest.

Both are born to get their way with the other, eternal competition that only a relationship expert can manage well. He’s a conqueror seeking conquest without obligation. She’s a conqueror seeking marriage before conquest. It’s the only way she can be sure of what he is truly after, either sex or her.

With a lasso made of her beauty, mystery, modesty, monogamous spirit, and his desire to conquer, he places it around his neck. One woman cuts out that man from the herd; leads him into her corral; breaks him of bucking; and does it with vim, vigor, and vitality. Before he can get her into bed the first time, she coaches and persuades him to learn how it pleases him to be both tamed and harnessed with her as good woman. By committing to how she trains him, he finally achieves conquest and enjoys the frequent and convenient sex won by pulling her buggy through life together.

The Battle of the Sexes expands with them as a couple. They court until both are convinced they are made for each other. He makes his move with a proposal of marriage, if and when he’s convinced living with her will satisfy him more than the way he presently lives.

With all his warts and sins, she is more the challenge than he. Example: As soon as she blames him for being like all men, she hardens his resistence to her influence, which means she weakens her ability to win the battle of capturing him. It’s a contradiction she has to work out successfully in the corral of their life together, and she has more than enough ability. The time and way to start is the tough part. (Discussed more deeply in future articles.)

The Battle of the Sexes is continuous in time, daily in events, and one woman pitted against whatever man she currently faces in whatever role he fills—first encounter, friend, foe, husband, boyfriend, business associate, FWB, or whatever. It’s each woman’s personal battle, and she has no one but herself to win it. IOW, yes, it’s all up to her how well she does in both the war and her battles to get her way in life with one man.

She has to rely on herself alone. As soon as she seeks help through the aegis and protection of other women banding together or blaming all men for her man’s faults, the man she faces assumes the aura of dominance in her eyes, which weakens her position. She then takes the easy road, allows for the expected dominant pressures, and yields sex or other matters without a battle of wits. In the process, he more easily refuses to cooperate or help her win their one-on-one battle.

By disregarding dominance as having a role in her relationships, each individual female more easily cuts out one horse to put in her corral. The battle then is that one female tames one male to be civilized up to female expectations to facilitate the raising of children. Each individual woman does that to her man, and she leaves other men and women out of her life to do the same for themselves.

Tomorrow: His Battle of the Sexes

——

* It appears that way because modern culture says we can’t live with the sexes being different. The political class for reasons hidden from the public for over half a century ridicule men and criticize male traits and behaviors. They blame men for female problems, which makes enemies of men, which makes women desperate to have a man, which encourages them to act more like men in order to have one of their own. IOW, if women can’t make men stand up to feminist exaggerations, copy their ambitions and lie down with them.

The professed political object centralizes power to weaken patriarchy, but the result is political makeover of America. Once, our Judeo-Christian culture was primarily female friendly. Nowadays, it’s male friendlier and getting more so.

 

 

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2749. Essentials of Successful Marriage — 02 War of the Sexes


I recently recognized a severe problem connected with my explanations, reader understanding, and women relating with men. Let me re-frame the relationship picture. For clarity in the future, I use more precise definitions of the War of the Sexes and the Battle of the Sexes (tomorrow).

The War of the Sexes is men against women, true. Individuals of both sexes are born to get their way, so competition is a universal motivator. Yet, the dominant sex is reluctant to give away the privileges of dominance. Consequently, women far too easily fall victim to masculine disregard, disrespect, and even maltreatment except they find a better way to handle one man’s dominance.

It’s the immovable object of male dominance versus the irresistible force of attractive females. That picture needs further development.

Men are individualistic and have the physical and mental ability to force women if they wish. Viewing that as threatening, women cooperate more and try to bond together to overcome male dominance. It’s not their best strategy to admit that dominance exists.

The irresistible force of women comes not from their banding together but the opposite. Immovable objects are vulnerable to unique female beauty, independent mystery and charm of individual females, and their willingness to respect a man for who he is, what he does, and what he can brag about and promise for her future. It’s a job for each individual woman on her own.

It arises out of the irresistible attractiveness in the eyes of men that encourages one of them to become moveable—that is, more civilized, tamed, and accepting of one woman’s expectations in order to have her as his own. Consequently, unless each exploits her attractiveness to the best of her ability, she becomes less irresistible and less appealing to a man seeking a permanent mate.

It amounts to this. The war is each individual woman versus all men. Neither all nor many men can satisfy her. She only needs one but has to screen many and perhaps fight some to find one good enough for her standards and expectations. She has to be able to govern their relationship, which means she has to earn his  trust, which only arises out of his respect earned early in their relationship.

Therefore, until one man finds her the dream of his life, all those others make up a parade of passers-by. She’s on her own with whatever irresistible attractions she can generate. Other women are more competition than helpers; their advice is not based on her expectations, hopes, and dreams but their own as they apply it to her life. Her own judgments are paramount, and the greater her self-gratitude, the stronger and more dependable her decisions for her.

Neither individually nor gender-wide as feminists try to make it, women can’t overpower their dominant mate. They may think or assume they have, but it isn’t reality; men can invent surprises, if they don’t already have some developed. In their heart of hearts, they refuse to lose to a weaker person in the normal course of events. She has to make their relationship unique and above normal in his eyes, so that he loses interest in always getting his way with her. He prefers to please her more than dominate her.

She can do it. Women are born with special abilities that men lack. She was born to get her way, and she’s all alone in getting it with one man. She was also born with all the ability needed to achieve it. Self-gratitude for courage to stand up to get her way; the respectful, respectable, and honorable intentions within her heart and manner; and the necessary skills, talent, and expertise to govern their relationship successfully.

When women try to outcompete dominant men, they fail over the long run. Consequently, she’s better with another strategy. Women are born able to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver the dominance in one man—not the man but his dominant ways that are vulnerable to his being bought off. Provided, that is, if no one else knows about it, or it appears he’s giving of himself rather than being defeated.

Each woman’s war continues daily until she isolates one man to join her in the Battle of the Sexes, one on one. Her female armor shines virtuously with mystery, modesty, and monogamous promise. Maybe more, but at least one man finds her attractive enough that his self-interest to have her exceeds his natural urge for first-time sex together.

Her lasso is around his neck, and she never threw it. He took her attractive bait as he continues to enjoy the self-promise of exploiting his conqueror’s ability and ambition of bedding her. The immovable object yields to the irresistible force.

So much for handling male dominance. It’s won in the war between one woman and all men. In her self-development as a female, she refuses to recognize it in light of her irresistibility and ability to park dominance off in the corner of her relationships.

Dominance is out of the picture. The Battle of the Sexes is one-on-one and enables an independent woman to use her irresistible force to make her likeability as potential mate as attractive as her best appearance.

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2748. Essentials of Successful Marriage — 01 Introduction


Seventeen years ago I set out to develop ‘a golden formula’ for successful marriage, defined as they do not separate. Not perfect and perhaps not even very good marital arrangements, but mutually satisfying for who they are and what they have as a couple plus some method to hold them together.

I was motivated by this comparison. Grace and I had 59 years of success in our one and only marriage. We saw so many broken marriages that included our three sons. Why was separation for Grace and me so difficult, and yet so easy for so many others?

I discovered that couples are not held together by common emotional connections such as love, vows, mutual likeability, legal pressures, and good intentions. All of which are prompters of motivation stronger within women than men. Although highly exploited, those connections are only fronts and often temporary. They are positive concepts and affirming emotions that help a lot but are less influential than negative disruptions that too easily pile up in pressure fronts and disturb relationship equilibrium and steadiness.

Example: Husband goes off to work with wife’s kiss and nice wishes the last thing out the door. Before the car is out of the garage, his mind is elsewhere. With men, positive endorsements of his importance to others is well known to him. It’s not a concern or worry, and he has more important matters to occupy his thoughts today.

If the same thing happens to wife, she’s more inclined to longer enjoy his departing thoughts. Perhaps until she gets to the first stop sign or light. Positive and affirming thoughts are essential for successful marriage, but they are less impressive and occupy the mind far less than statements that identify or criticize one’s individuality.

Couples are held together better by the absence of little things that accumulate, offend, and wear down one or the other mate: blame, shame, irritants, impatience, misunderstandings, criticism, nagging, fault-finding, unfilled promises, abuse, and disrespect. All of which can too easily accumulate and morph into contestable pressures so unacceptable that one or both has to escape. IOW, personal differences drown out the attractions of gender differences. Separation follows based on determination of one or the other to escape their anti-respectful, self-induced environment in which opinions differ as to one’s worth to self or the other.

Too little respect motivates one mate to express negative opinions about the other. True respect for someone discourages defining or describing their faults; respect encourages their acceptance, warts and all. So, when mutual respect is not present, love and vows and other affirming connections are not enough to hold a couple together.

The roots of mutual respect one gender for the other, one guy for one gal and vice versa goes back in time. So, it begins with how they are born to be distinctly different from birth and even before. Next, there’s a difference between the war and the battle of the sexes.

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2747. Life Made Simpler for Women — 14


  1. Her virtues are the primary influence for keeping husband in her life. He takes advantage of her admirable qualities to support his ambitions, facilitate his accomplishments, and satisfy his agenda with her. If he can’t admire how and what she is and does, his interest wanes.
  2. As they do early in life, women keep their man satisfied in old age with feminine likeability and loyalty. He didn’t back in the day, and he still doesn’t want someone other than he married—or to live by himself. He appreciates her features and habits that remain from her courtship and bridal glory, so he can age with her rather than someone else that she has become.
  3. Older wives, heads up! Men do not change to get what they want with a woman, but they will change to keep what they have.
  4. Younger women will change to please their man; older women will not. Men can’t realize and appreciate all an early wife has to offer him. It takes years before a husband discovers how much he appreciates what his wife delivers through love of him, gratefulness for herself, and dedication to their arrangement for living together.
  5. It’s not obvious, but hormonal changes morph men and women into different roles later in life. A man’s ambitions wane from lack of opportunity or ability to accomplish. His woman’s ambitions rise on prospects of grandchildren and need for new thinking to brighten the future.
  6. A man absorbed with conquering much younger women is a man married to his own adolescent self. An adultolescent or control freak! Such men don’t mate well, permanently that is.
  7. Men don’t compete with their woman. They avoid it or render a dominant decision to prevent or stop it. They do so because it contradicts their dominant nature if they lose to a weaker person, male or female.

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2746. Wisdom from Miss Gina #4


Thanks to Miss Gina for amplifying post 2745, When Ladies Reign, Men Pay More Attention. She speaks clearly, so I quote her.

“I totally agree with your comments.

“Ladies, don’t expect other women to cheer you on as you become more feminine and adopt higher standards! In fact, you are likely to see more attempts to bully and stab you in the back. You may be unceremoniously and unkindly dumped by females you thought were friends, as well. Your newfound feminine confidence (and friendship with God) will move you forward, though. Other women are thinking, “Who does she think she is? She’s no better than the rest of us.” And of course, in a sense, you aren’t, but you do recognize the great value that God has placed inside each of us, whereas they don’t. You also have come to realize that having the best in life doesn’t come easily, whereas they want something for nothing. This is just a natural sifting as you change your stature in the world, because you will also notice greater acceptance from those few other women who think and act as you do.

“Once they have seen that they can’t drag you back to their level, you may also eventually notice that the former women start taking better care of themselves and being more feminine, as well, but they probably won’t tell you it’s because of your influence.

“Meanwhile, a high-value lady will notice a definite increase in interest from men of all types, from little boys to elderly men. (More reason for the loser girls to be mad…) Much of this interest will show itself in the form of gentlemanly behavior. Men and boys both just want to talk with a pretty, feminine woman. (OK, other stuff, too…but all men *do* enjoy talking with a clever, kind, and attractive lady–and just doing so can make their day.) Men intrinsically understand work, value, and price. Of course many will try to get something for nothing, but they are very conscious of the concept, nonetheless.”

Thank you, Miss Gina.

 

 

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2745. When Ladies Reign, Men Pay More Attention


Her Highness Lady Penny at post 2744, captivated me with this claim:

“For me, the moment I exert my independence and difference/uniqueness at the office, everyone wants to know why I must be so different from them or so difficult or why I must have an ‘attitude’, as they perceive it. There is big pressure to be the same/equal to everyone else and I find this very disrespectful and annoying. I am constantly in rebel mode, just to protect who I am.”

I’m more grateful than surprised to read what Lady Penny says. Congratulations are due for her operating in rebel mode; it will benefit her in the long run. She gave me this point on which to elaborate; there are two kinds of women.

The lady stands out with a higher level of feminine attractiveness, respect, and desire. She’s different from other gals. Her uniqueness generates masculine curiosity about her feminine mystery, modesty, and self-respect. The imagination of many men stirs with thoughts about how to achieve conquest.

Men want too investigate the lady more than her less unique sister females. Investigation requires investment of time and money, which provides opportunity for a lady to screen and measure a man’s potential for marriage. Longer investigations accrue to her benefit. Thus, the lady manages her life more to her liking than other women are capable.

My major point springs out of the seed Lady Penny plants above. It’s precisely her kind of womanly behavior that civilizes, tames, and domesticates men to act like better men for females; be more circumspect pursuing sex; be more cautious about showing disrespect; and be more reluctant to offend by suggesting fellatio. In short, be more gentlemanly.

Men act that way only when women make themselves appear unconquerable as a matter of duty to themselves. In that way ladylike behavior consistently dampens and slows a man’s conquering urges without killing his interest for lack of progress.

After many years of observation and study, I claim this to be accurate. The more ladylike the woman, the more likely she finds a good man and keeps him as good husband. Of course, describing what turns woman into successful lady is far more complicated than described here. However, I hit some high spots.

A lady stands up for herself as different and not dependent on other women for how to dress, associate, converse, and entertain. Her judgements are infallible, and she’s able to live with her mistakes. If she has a husband, she makes him look good among his friends and associates, aka his competitors. If unmarried, her purposeful attractiveness stirs a man’s curiosity. Many men imagine themselves the beneficiary of what husbands appreciate with a lady wife, and manly ambitions enlarge or shift direction.

A woman can become a lady by being more independent. She stresses her difference from other women and dresses up regularly and modestly with an attractive body, preferably slender and graceful. Acting as a lady subliminally plants seeds that her attractiveness hides a more intriguing female of unknown quality. She challenges men to stimulate manly competition for her attention. She’s willing be dependent on her man, but he first has to measure up to her standards and expectations in order to win her.

Ladies elevate themselves above other women. They govern their sex world by standing out as different among women. Seemingly unconcerned about opinions that differ from their own, ladies appear unique in the eyes of men. All of which adds feminine mystique, modesty, and qualities that invite men to admire as virtues. The purpose of being a lady is to attract, capture, and keep one of the best men available. Other women don’t admire a lady’s ability and so they end up out-competed by more unique females.

Other women, dressed for comfort and erogenous zone exposure more than feminine attractiveness, send a message that they care not a whit for how they look to men in general. They may fix up for a date but little else but church. Their appearance implies that sexual assets are available for little more than the asking. Caring little about appearance generally, they self-identify as round heel, easy-to-conquer women not permanently attractive to men but to whom they are usable and disposable. They find and exploit a boyfriend and expect proposal of marriage through sexual adventuring or living together, but they never learn how to capture a good husband. If they do, they can’t keep him very long.

Such short-sighted women want to be like female associates rather than stand out as individuals. In so doing they easily ignore or bypass their instinct and intuition about human nature. In the final result, they find themselves victimized by lack of special regard, respect, consideration, and as uniquely different in the eyes of men. Moreover, they have to rely on sex just to attract a man.

They try so often to have boyfriend or husband that sex becomes the currency of relationships. However, sex doesn’t bond a man, too much currency downgrades women into common ordinariness, more and more sex is needed to sustain satisfaction with life, and promiscuity spreads as hard-up women seek more satisfaction with themselves.

When women act like ladies with all the accessories that symbolize their independent power status and influence inside a couple, they reign in the social marketplace and the home. Unfortunately, modern women don’t see it that way. They expect a lot by offering so little. I spot in public so many empty ring fingers in just thirty- and forty-year old women. To this man, it seems both sexes are losing satisfaction with their lives and especially with the opposite sex.

Thank you, Lady Penney, for the opportunity to open the subject. It’s lain dormant in my mind for a long time.

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