2512. Feminism Dragged Out of the Closet


Taking a couple of days off. Found something that may keep you occupied.  Truth catches up in the most unusual  ways, but it always emerges.

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2511. Miscellany


The highly feminine woman is very unique to male eyes. She’s not fully understandable but mysterious in ways that are acceptable to husband’s expectations. His acceptance of her relationship effectiveness—he can’t figure how she does it—provides her with the independence she needs to deliver a pleasant life for hubby and herself.

Rush Limbaugh coined the feminazi term to describe the dozen or so radicals that birthed Feminism out of the Women’s Liberation political movement. We need a pleasant and catchy term to identify feminine women who seek to throw off the shroud of Feminism. Any ideas?

I have an idea for engaged women. Befriend your future mother-in-law. Surround her son with a mutually supportive friendship that keeps her on your side. Put him in the middle and it will pay off later. You will be surprised how friendly she will be if you conquer her opinion that you’re not good enough for her son. If you’re a future mother-in-law, do that with your future daughter-in-law. Your son is “lost,” so make the most of it. There are mutual benefits when women take a tag-team approach to make a better man of a son and husband.

It poisons manly commitment to women. Feminism is the philosophy of envy of men, the creed of anger at men, and the gospel of politics-first over men. It blames men for female shortcomings. Then it alibis for female inability to civilize, tame, and domesticate men into female-friendly mates and fathers. Men don’t accept blame; they resist, resent, and retaliate with disrespect of women generally. Sexual freedom for females was devised to compensate, but that too does not work. Sex neither bonds nor keeps a man. Consequently, Feminism brought nothing more than inexhaustible sex to men, which hugely reduces the marrying pool. Men find little virtue in women easy to conquer; moreover, where’s the challenge with her? They find no virtue in promiscuous women; moreover, where’s the competition with men?

OTOH, Femininity is the philosophy of mutual attraction, the creed of mutual fidelity, and gospel of mutual devotion. Its inherent virtue encourages men to suppress their aggressiveness, prove themselves worthy of a woman, act responsibly as husband and father, and otherwise make use of themselves on behalf of women and children.

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2510. Mr. Right Ain’t What Young Gals Think


A young woman dreams of and wrongly seeks Mr. Right. I say wrongly because she bypasses a deep screening of his worth to her. She just guesses about his intentions, he likely has to earn little to conquer her, and she will find he is someone else after that momentous event—perhaps that she’s not the keeper she dreamed of becoming.

If she acknowledges a man as her Mr. Right, her emotions make her heart flutter in the wrong way at the wrong time. Simply calling a man Mr. Right leads her to make many mistakes so she won’t lose him, but it happens anyway sooner or later and perhaps after marriage.

It’s not the guy either; her immediate willingness to commit and not lose him strikes a heart filled with too much infatuation. She too easily reverts to immature thoughts and adolescent-think that make her try too hard to be liked. It doesn’t work except by her yielding early sex and winning him temporarily.

If she craves fun, sex, games, and pleasure as her main interest to please him, she might think of a short marriage at best and none at worst. Romantic love fades in a year or two, but she expects it to continue. With childish infatuation she programmed herself for it to continue forever. She begins to detect undesirable changes in their relationship. She then tries too hard, feels desperate, and acts immature and superficial, and he becomes unworthy of her devotion.

It happens because men may like sex and fun, but they don’t marry for life the woman who lives that way. If not reality, her actions symbolize promiscuity and men seek to marry a virtuous woman. Mutual romantic love kept it hidden for a couple of years, and enduring love never developed. Now, she faces the error of her ways, if not before.

If she captured him, Mr. Right probably didn’t completely buy into her. Romantic love perhaps, but no devotion. Women like to talk. Men are not all that fond of listening to conquered women. She does best who learns to keep her talk interesting to him and try her best not to interrupt his thoughts. It’s not her, but him. Interrupting his thoughts show disrespect for who he is, albeit subliminal. It’s a natural conqueror’s right that loses its importance when she learns to be careful and considerate, or she took the time to allow his devotion to develop.

Not devoted to her, Mr. Right is sensitive to unlikeable behavior. The female nature guides a woman to cooperate with her man. He’s the competitor by nature and she’s not. However, situations cause women to get in husband’s face, argue to no end, and hope to put him down or embarrass him. It’s no good, ever.

Oh, she may win her battle or even deserve some revenge. But his male nature advises him not to take it for three reasons: 1) She may be right and thus beat him, and no self-respecting man loses to a woman. 2) Conqueror’s right ‘bought’ her cooperation and she lost her right to compete by his now ‘owning her’. 3) She’s very unlikeable as a mate when she fights against him, and loss of likeability reduces whatever of Mr. Right’s love has developed and short circuits his desire to stay with her.

There is only a Mr. Good Enough for the woman seeking a lifetime marriage, which means that he was well screened as worthy of her. An all important issue impacts whether he will ever become her knight in shining armor. Before his conquest, she’s in competitive mode and can convince him of how she lives and expects to continue in married life. She best lays the groundwork for submission during courtship, because after they marry, she has only what she negotiates and free will as defense. She has to think ahead to win the ability to make sound judgments where and with whom her benefits and advantages begin and end.

Mr. Right will likely arrive later in their marriage, if she begins with Mr. Good Enough. Lo and behold, within their relationship made happy by how she harmonized it over a couple decades, hubby becomes Mr. Right as her long hoped-for knight on white charger. How could she have lived without him?

As part of the female nature, and I think designed that way, women receive their most glorious rewards late in life for the good life they have led. OTOH, men receive their rewards early in life, and not necessarily for living the good life. They seldom  acknowledge their satisfaction after many years of a good marriage, except when someone else brings it up and they can pass credit to their wife. After the midlife crisis, they can do it easily, but even then they usually don’t initiate such an admission. The most devoted men, however, find it easy to admit, which speaks well of her harmonizing their home and satisfying her man. Mr. Right is the finest tribute to her handiwork, when she ends rather than tries to start with him.

Note: If you seek more on the subject, five other articles have Mr. Right in the title on the CONTENT page.

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2509. Flirt and Tease (Revisited)


NOTE: I was wrong yesterday, miscounted. This is the most popular article ever, posted in February 2011. Yesterday’s post, Exotic vs. ‘The Girl Next Door’ is in second place.

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Teasing makes a woman smile and thereby prettier. Flirting makes a woman show an interest in the face that makes her highly attractive. Those results reward men. They feel good for having energized her that way.

Men test at flirting and play at teasing to confirm that their ability to attract female attention doesn’t wane. God designed, Nature endows, and hormones energize them for life. Real men do both but you’ll notice that young men flirt more and old men tease more. They all need confirmation when opportunities arise to prove their ability. Or, they just want to feel good.

Women know how to read it when men flirt and tease. But modern women are sometimes wrong, take the simple way out, and seem to have lost the art of taking advantage.

Men flirt and tease for two reasons that sometimes combine into a third. They want to feel good. They want something from a woman. They want both. All are natural to the male nature but women doubt the first reason can ever be exclusive or sincere.

The feminine nature intuitively knows when a man flirts or teases as lead-in to getting something from her. Females learn early in life to both spot and deal with it.

The womanly dilemma comes when a man’s motivation is not so obvious. She can’t really tell if he wants something, but she suspects it and acts accordingly. Modern women consequently consider all flirting and teasing as early warning sign of invitation to sex. They miss much of the fun of life among two genders.

Many married men tease and some even flirt. With good cause, wives object to husband flirting. With poor cause, women profile men—married, single, and old—as always in pursuit of sex. Many more honorable married men exist than credited among women.

Women have an innate bias against teasing and flirting. Emotional fidelity means more to women than sexual fidelity. They see emotional infidelity as precursor to unfaithfulness and both as threat of abandonment.

Not so with men. They believe sexual fidelity is everything. Emotional infidelity is neither perceivable nor all that important unless it leads to sexual infidelity.

More realistic judgments can provide more fun in our two-gender life. Women can have more fun if they can moderate their doubts about men and credit them with more honorable if not totally innocent motivations.

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P.S. Personal story. I’m 85, she was in her forties. She takes my toll on the WV Turnpike. I offer my routine greeting to women, “Hello, your highness.” She reacts with a radiant smile. I respond with, “Wow, I could chase that smile to find out if I’m young enough.” She responded with bigger smile and, “I’d let you.” I sure felt good the rest of the day. She’s probably also happily talking about it.

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2508. Exotic vs. ‘Girl Next Door’ (Revisited)


NOTE: The following is the blog’s most popular article, first posted in February 2012. Thought you might find it interesting. To add clarity, exotic is a unique female and erotic is a women focused on sex. The exotic can be anyone other than the girl next door too.

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If you recall, this blog focuses on the basic nature of men and women before morality, religion, race, ethnicity, and personal values and emotions become involved. Readers question the appeal to men of exotic and ‘the girl next door’.

Men first judge with their eyes. Exotic appears strikingly different. The girl next door looks very familiar. What predominately appeals to men— the familiar or the different? Actually, they’re apples and oranges not to be compared but just described.

THE ‘GIRL NEXT DOOR’

  1. The girl next door is not 5’5”, white, blonde, blue eyed, and freckled. She’s normal, feminine or tomboy, and mainstream. But, she’s just visible to the boy next door until her female prettiness starts to shine in his face late in adolescence. Perception is reality and whatever appears to be, is. She grew pretty enough over the time that he knew her.
  2. She’s friendly and easy to know, feminine, unlike other girls, and so unique that after the neighbor boy’s hormone hurricane moderates somewhat late in his teens, she takes on a mature air of invincibility he hadn’t seen before. Her previous independence has mellowed such that he becomes far more interested in her as woman than as friend. Her heart and mind now outshine her external attractiveness.
  3. Factually, it’s not a girl but a process. It’s the lengthy but accidental development. Kind of like an offline relationship. Men and women do it too. Accidentally brought together, both grow over time until they accept the other’s faults as far less important than their appealing virtues, i.e., they qualify to take it online.
  4. Women use the erotic archetype to excuse their lack of feminine diligence for looking pretty, acting feminine, mastering an intriguing smile, fostering good relationships with men of little or no interest to them, and otherwise improving their chances for capturing and marrying a man. They consider their situation as needful of erotic symbols instead of as a process, and it leads them to fool themselves.
  5. Don’t blame guys for falling for the girl next door. It could be you. To be like the gal next door, learn to develop and harmonize a deeper relationship with a friend, guy next door, or someone else to whom you are accidentally exposed. It’s the process more than the girl.

EXOTIC OR EROTIC

A strikingly unique woman appeals to men either as newfound beauty, sex object, or both. Consequently, exotic women are the same as others; they just have something different. What they do with the difference shapes their lives. Since they can’t be separated, newfound beauty and sex appeal morph in men’s eyes from exotic to erotic. So let’s shift to that.

  • Erotic features are merely that. Features! Hips or lips, breasts or buns. They all have appeal. Whether to embellish them or not, that’s the question. Erotic works to objectify a woman for sex. Exploit it and attract players. However, whatever suggests sex is much less attractive to the Marrying Man; he looks for something else, and a unique version of female beauty satisfies best.
  • Generally, the more obvious a woman tries to exploit her erotic features, the less interesting she looks for much beyond sex. Furthermore, observers may or may not see the eroticism intended and may or may not even be interested. Let’s face it; a truly erotic appearing woman is definitely not mainstream. Men do, however, mostly stay married to mainstream gals. So, it’s another disadvantage. Erotic-appearing women don’t appear as particularly good candidates for marriage, at least on the surface.
  • So, ladies, think of erotic features as more neutral than usable. To use such features to your advantage, don’t emphasize them; downplay them with feminine subtlety and female modesty. Use them to generate curiosity. Men transmute their curiosity into imagination and use it to take the full measure of you. If you have some exotic feature(s), it holds little value beyond what it symbolizes in either your or some man’s imagination. (It was on another subject but it applies here: Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”)
  • After all, what role does an erotic appearance play for a man once he closes his eyes, such as in bed, such as in marriage, such as when he dumps you?

Exotic women improve their chances of attracting the Marrying Man if they downplay eroticism and encourage men to get to know them personally. That is, minimize the erotic, emphasize the exotic, and appear more feminine and unique than just a different female. Align those features more closely and you compete better with mainstream women, for they are your competitors for a man. Erotic women compete with men for sex, so they can do as well as other women and not be left sitting on the sidelines.

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2507. Leftovers about Love and Respect


To tame and lead a man to permanently accept domestic life with her, she has to tame his conquering urge by refusing sex until his respect underwrites the development and anchors his love.

Men have two instinctive sex drives. A one-time urge with many women and a dedicated urge with one woman. As an unconquered woman, she earns respect through his dedicated effort and her refusal to yield. As a conquered woman, she seeks to earn his loyalty to her alone, which is much easier if she earned a lot of his respect and allows it to grow into his love of her.

Once she’s been conquered, his desire changes dramatically. His respect stops growing. He was good enough to conquer, so he need not try harder. She’s disposable. If he returns to her for sex, it’s for other reasons such as desire, love, or booty. Reserved for women already conquered, the male secondary drive becomes active and energizes his drive for frequent and convenient access to sex. That is, resolve his physiological rather than earlier psychological urges tied to conquest.

A woman need not be virgin, just act like one. She needs to proactively makes herself attractive physically, personality-wise, and with sexual attractiveness protected by modesty. Even if married before, she holds sex in the background. Not something to be spoken of or brought into the dating arena. She hides it behind a curtain of self-respect and modesty, unwilling to share until he has earned it and she doesn’t disclose what it takes to earn her. The more valuable to her and kept to herself, the more his respect of her grows, his eagerness programs his heart about her increasing worth, and the greater is her worth and his self-satisfaction when conquest finally occurs.

Generally, acting virgin-like, she is passive to his initiatives. She competes with him on only one matter, delay his conquest as long as practicable. Refuse to discuss sex, refuse to accept his hands in unwanted places, avoid deep passion, avoid his traps, make him earn whatever she decides to share—whether words or actions.

Men are intrigued by a woman’s unique mystery and self-respect; they are out to conquer that more than sex with her, which in the final analysis of love creation is only symbolic. The more respect she earns for protecting her self-identified honor, the more mysterious she becomes because of strong self-respect, character, and will power.

Over time as he pleases her with his actions, he comes to like it more and more. When those pleasing actions please him just to please her, then his devotion starts to build. It takes time to become habit. But his devotion is more everlasting than just his love.

Good habits develop from his actions and not her words. So, while she spends time refusing to have sex but keeping him from dumping her, she is brightening her future with his accumulating sense of enjoyment with her that after a while morphs into her likeability and his devotion. Likeability and loyalty precede his love, and devotion sustains it. Continued in marriage, it lasts a lifetime.

If a man doesn’t spend a lot of his time and invest himself, neither her importance to him or his devotion develops. So, if she yields too soon, he has insufficient time to self-develop into loving her, and she has too little time earning his respect, likeability, and devotion.

The Virtual Virginity series listed in CONTENT at HOME page explains many of the details of near virginity that any woman can use to promote herself by delaying conquest.

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2506. Men are Never More Handsome…. A Revisit


At 2505 Her Highness Honorfemineity mentioned a subject fond in my heart and  worthy of revisit. I first published 2059 two years ago.

At 2058 Her Highness Prettybeans said to me. “Men are never more handsome as when they continue in their tireless efforts to teach and encourage recovery among ladies. Thank you.” Thus, she gives me both a perfect payday and perfect opportunity to further explain men.

When a man does something he considers a responsibility or obligation, it may be nice but he doesn’t expect to be thanked. It’s his duty. It’s the flip side of an unearned gift. Moreover, in today’s world, thank you is as worn out in sincerity as “I apologize.” So men pay little attention to thank you. Unless of course it’s extended as part of a hug from a pretty woman, which makes what he hears even less relevant.

OTOH, surprisingly expressed indirect compliments work wonders. Even reading Prettybeans above, note that the sentence is flooded with meaning for me that makes “Thank you” virtually unnoticeable.

I propose you ladies learn to charm men in general by charming individuals of opportunity. Charm both known and unknown men with indirect compliments wrapped in female boldness that produces the feminine advantage that women long to have. The benefits come to women from the effects they have on the masculine mind.

My favorite indirect compliment is this: “Men are never more handsome than when they please a lady (for whatever they do).” Use it every time a man pleases you. Opens the door, seats you at table, lets you go ahead of him in a waiting line, husband does laundry or brings you flowers. It doesn’t matter. If a man pleases you, suggest that he just might be made more handsome for doing it. You like to be reminded that you’re pretty don’t you? Indirectness works best with men.

  • First, you have not hit on him. You merely used a surprisingly pleasant way of expressing gratefulness for manly conduct that pleases you as a woman. After the same man has heard it several times, the surprise may evaporate but the friendly reminder will only fade slightly if at all.
  • When you claim yourself as a lady a few times, you will benefit both yourself and set standards for men. Up to which men learn to step when convinced you are what you claim repeatedly.
  • The phrasing makes it sound routine for other men. Strangers read it that you are routinely pleased by other men and it generates uncommon friendliness. Men you know are encouraged to do more to stay ahead of their competitors and to keep you pleased with them.
  • Men love to be called handsome by women, but you didn’t call him that. You call him one of many. He has to infer that he’s included among the pleasers of women, which encourages more because of the success you surprise him with.
  • Although delivered directly, you pass an indirect compliment. He has to make it personal. If he’s handsome for pleasing you, then his male competitors are too. To compete better, he’s encouraged to please you and perhaps others as opportunities arise. He sees women as targets to uplift as unique and deserving of his ability to please. It’s a natural follow-on to his success among competitors. He only has to connect pleasing women to earning self-admiration to make him a better man in the eyes of females.

It works in writing, just as Prettybeans wrote to me above. But, ladies, if you want the full effect, do it this way. For example, a stranger speeds up to hold open the door for you to enter a public building. Halfway through or after the door closes, stop to gain his attention, smile sincerely, capture his eyeballs with yours, and BOLDLY say, “You know, (pause) men are never more handsome than when they please a lady.” And don’t say thank you. Just continue to smile and walk on with something like “Have a good day.”

He can’t just hear it either. His ears are not his primary sensor. Belief only comes when he sees your earnestness. Eye-to-eye displays feminine courage that men respect.

I understand you ladies can’t accept what I propose. It requires too much boldness among other sensibilities. Were I in your shoes, I probably wouldn’t think of such a thing. Remember, I’m pushing you no harder than showing an example. Primarily, I’m using it to explain the male mind. You have to figure out how to make men please you, as modern men don’t seem too eager except in pursuit of sex. Only women can train men to do the right thing as women see what is right. Most women think it’s right for them to be pleased and especially by men. That’s why I’m here to help.

I promise you this. Provided you do it boldly, smilingly, and with eyeballs locked with his when you say it, you will find significant pleasure in their reactions. You’ll recognize that you’ve charged them up with new pleasure and perhaps fascination in you. When a woman makes a man feel fantastic about himself, she assumes an aura of respectability that modern women lack.

What’s the effect on him? Think it through. You just convinced one man that ladies have standards up to which a man can easily find success, can find pleasure doing for others. To be more significant, to find more self-admiration, he only needs to please more women. How can that not be good? How can that not enhance the importance of a woman?

If you recall their natures, women are born to be good and men to do good. But women have to determine what is good for men to do. When men determine what is good, women find it mostly ‘ungood’ for them.

If women are ever to stop or even slow modern society’s slide from goodness toward evil, they must let men know that female standards not only exist but need to be honored. The way to gain honor is to encourage men to do good, specifically do what women expect. The simple “Men are never more handsome…” can jumpstart any woman’s contribution to pleasing men by pleasing herself to please men in ways that benefit Womanhood.

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