You modern gals need a plan to take better charge of your own lives. You need a game plan. I’m just the guy to lay it out, but you have to implement the details to the satisfaction of those who pursue you.
Objective: Keep a man pursuing you long enough for him to at least propose or break off, hopefully the former if he’s proven himself worthy of you.
Strategy: A man wants to marry a virtuous woman, and each finds virtue in the qualities he admires in one woman. The more unique qualities you display, the harder a guy seeks to get you in bed, because the accumulation of your virtues make you more worthy and unique in his eyes.
Mission: Be attractively different from all the other gals, but more traditional, mysterious, and modest than modern. (A gal’s strongest suits for keeping a man under control are her modesty, mystery, and vanity.)
If other gals hang with or act like guys, don’t. If they pursue guys, don’t. If they kiss on first date, don’t. If they crave marriage, don’t. If they go for making out, don’t. If they talk up sex, don’t. If they go out with guys without a date, don’t. If other gals are so fearful of losing what they have, don’t be like that. There are many other behaviors in the social marketplace that the smart gal drops from her habits to make herself stand out. The more unique but not radical, the better.
The way to a modern man’s heart is not through his stomach; it’s through his ego. So, focus there.
Listen better than you ever have before. Keep silent, pay attention! No full disclosure; in fact, no disclosure about yourself. Make him earn everything he finds out about you. Volunteer nothing. He has to pursue you to find out about you. Otherwise, why should he waste time with your disclosing yourself?
Men believe what they figure out, and not what they are told. So, if he isn’t figuring you out, he won’t stay long. He should never know exactly who and what you are until he’s been married to you for a dozen or so years. Mystery makes female worthiness soar.
Encourage his descriptions of who he is; what he does in mind, body, and spirit; how he’s out to conquer his world; and what he can provide to you if you’ll just join him in bed. If you’ve done your other techniques properly, he will keep the part about the bed in background, hints maybe. If he gets obvious about bedtime, you bring up marriage. Make it a habit; he wants to talk about sex, you change the subject gently but firmly. Repeat it enough and he’ll soon learn that the subject makes you uncomfortable.
A man learns to respect the gal who listens to him, and his respect is essential for his love to develop. The longer she refuses deep passion and keeps her legs crossed, the more his respect grows. Of course, everyone recognizes her biggest problem is to keep him in pursuit while being denied sex with her.
She has only one alternative. She abstains for reasons that register above herself in this life. She’s lives up to somebody or thing far above her but which hardens her belief system: parents, God, Bible, moral imperative. Even expectant husband, but she should never declare that; it kills hope in the pursuer. (The blog series Virtual Virginity covers at length how to strengthen one’s belief system to promote abstinence until marriage.)
As much, as often, and as clearly as practicable, teach him to please you. Repetitive pleasing of you becomes habit with him, and becomes devotion when he learns that pleasing you pleases him even more.
You will run into the guy who is only after sex, and it will be clear in his approach. First, he’s not after you but sex with you. Second, dismiss him quickly. If you’re no more valuable than your sexual assets, how will you ever escape being a sex object?
I propose dating and courtship should follow the plan above.