2494. Friendly Reminders — 11

  • A father’s love of his son is an expression of his pride in delivering sperm. Love of his daughter is based on other things, and respect for the mother is important and sometimes vital.
  • Apologies are a female invention to reduce risk. Men are bigger risk takers and don’t apologize easily and especially not for the inconsequential.
  • “Men seldom make passes at girls that wear glasses.” Coined by Dorothy Parker in early 20th Century, it’s a myth. Men value attractiveness very differently than women.
  • Females who dress less than full of feminine pride carry an aura of masculine disdain and even arrogance about the opinions of other people. Social success more easily escapes them except as they are sexually active.
  • Moms who love themselves greatly for being female seem more able and inclined to defer gratification about the sex of their unborn children. They more easily anticipate the surprise at birth as a great gift they deserve. Their sense of importance thus revolves around secrecy about that point in time. Consequently, delivery makes their self-importance soar even more with the disclosure of sex then. They become more proud and glorious than if they—and especially others including father—know the sex beforehand. (I would love to hear of contrary opinions and objections.)
  • A big difference exists between doing something wrong, which attacks your self-confidence and not doing something right, which attacks your conscience.
  • To forgive relieves the conscious mind and to forget relieves the subconscious mind of bothersome issues and burdens. Since over 99 percent of our behavior is stimulated by the subconscious mind, forgetfulness is more important than forgiveness insofar as our own behaviors are affected. Consequently, if forgiveness doesn’t produce forgetfulness, the forgiveness is not sincere.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, feminine, Her glory, marriage

2493. Friendly Reminders — 10

  • Women are made to always have purpose in life. If they lose or run out of it, they keep looking until they find new reason for living. Men are not energized the same. If they lose it, they tend to live silently with lack of purpose and spiral downward toward the dregs and attracting  more discontent along the way. Thus, women have greater recovery ability than do men.
  • We’re all born with the potential to love another but no better than we love ourselves. Consequently, the higher one’s self-esteem, the greater one’s potential to love and the lower the lesser.
  • Single moms easily fall prey to treating an only son as her primary love and nurture-object. It’s unhealthy for him and haunts other women in his adult life.  Children respond better when taught in the tweens what causes mistakes and constitutes misery in an adult’s life and are then enabled to decide how they can and will avoid it as they parade into and through the teens. Teach the WHAT as leaders do and not the HOW as managers do. (Definition: The tweens extend from first grade through puberty.)
  • Women don’t feel guilty over the attention/affection/gifts they receive. Four reasons why they deserve every bit of it: They are pretty, able to provide sex, capable of delivering babies, and need to feel important. External confirmations are welcome and needed frequently to reinforce all the above.
  • Many a mom has trouble forgiving her son for growing up. She’s certain he can’t do without her nurturing love, because she’s certain she can’t live without delivering it. So, she often continues to mother him even into his married life. Very ‘ungood’ for his marriage.
  • Women double down when they dress down. Pretty goes down. Standards go down. Self-confidence goes down. Self-image goes down. Other-centeredness goes down. Pride goes down. Why? You care less for yourself when you care less about others and vice versa.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, How she loses, marriage

2492. Friendly Reminders — 09

  • She does not love being a female, but she expects to keep one man around. Nature places heavy odds against it happening.
  • Managers tell people HOW to do their job. Leaders tell people WHAT to do and leave the details to followers. When leaders can’t distinguish between their two roles and act accordingly, they generate poor morale. Parents are predominantly managers before puberty and leaders thereafter.
  • Women like for men to hold doors open for them to enter first. A man’s good character shines brighter when he displays such courtesies for all females.
  • Don’t be so quick to want rules about flirting and other male-female interactions. Rules bypass individual natures and turn people toward phoniness or manipulation. It works against making relationships last.
  • Necessity is the mother of invention. Frustration is the father of both invention and cuss words.
  • Love isn’t enough for a woman. She has to put it to good use and show it. Her primary reward is in the giving, her secondary is having it returned.
  • Act respectably and respectable people will treat you respectfully. Act otherwise or deal with unrespectable people and unintended consequences rise up to bite you.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, feminine, marriage, Sociology 101

2491. Friendly Reminders — 08

  • It’s unfortunate. The woman unhappy with herself expects her man to make her happy. But she has little room for him otherwise in her guilt-shrunken heart. She takes instead of giving, and he leaves instead of staying. (Do it with kids and they rebel.)
  • A female showing tattoos or wearing her libido on her sleeve attracts players and temporary husbands but not the Marrying Man. The latter avoids being connected to a female who disses herself to attract men.
  • If a woman has to talk a man into marriage or living together, consider it merely for practice. It won’t last.
  • To duplicate male sexual behavior and capture boyfriends in adolescence, girls abandon female modesty. They give up old school character strength that protects against embarrassment. They accept without protest new school embarrassments caused by males. Then, following embarrassment, they blame themselves for being too sensitive and they lower standards out of fear of offending boys.
  • It used to work well for him to rule the roost and her to rule the rooster. Now, she tries to be the rooster, he looks elsewhere, and the family crumbles. Modern women ignored their mothers and grandmothers. They never learned the skills for ruling the rooster by letting him rule the roost.
  • Men appreciate female virtue and women appreciate masculine character as most promising for a good life together. Virginity gets the most publicity and is over ranked in desirability. She has many other qualities that a man can admire, and they qualify as virtues for some man or men. Personal integrity, sense of responsibility, and strong work ethic should rank highest on the character scale.
  • Men are the bricks of society and women are the mortar. Bricks don’t weep, but mortar often does. Socially conditioning boys to cry weakens them as adult bricks. The female mortar hardens automatically to compensate, and confusion follows when relationship strains and stresses arrive.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, marriage, sex differences

2490. Friendly Reminders — 07

  • A satisfied need no longer motivates. If he says I love you, and she lets him know that he’s admired, they can both turn to other things and get on with life.
  • As wives women gravitate toward the center of the bed and politics. It’s great for sex but lousy for female political leadership.
  • As women go so goes society. The more women respect the male sex unconditionally, the more husbands become more responsive and responsible toward women, children, and families.
  • Males have this major shortcoming relative to females. When the female ego flares up, the emotional disturbance drives males to rely on dominance as opposed to being objective, empathetic, or willing to listen. Why? It’s a natural reflex against losing a competition and losing to a woman affects a man’s sense of significance.
  • Immobilized and unmovable minds have all they need to know except how to listen.
  • Single females compete with guys to make them respect feminine virtues and standards. Guys learn what they are taught. From those experiences, women learn how to get their way without competing with their husbands.
  • If a woman doesn’t respect her conscience, she loses self-respect and self-confidence, which undermines her relationship expertise. It can make her a stranger in her own body.
  • Women create this dilemma. A person’s preparation and appearance helps shape their attitude and expectations of others. By today’s standards, modern women earn, deserve, and receive male treatment as just other guys.
  • When women outshine men in everyday appearance—neat, classy, pretty, prideful, and virtuous—they capture continuous manly attention. Just think! How many guys with higher standards pass you by because you don’t look good enough to catch their eye?


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, feminine, marriage, sex differences

2489. Friendly Reminders — 06

  • Good reason exists to steer clear of men that act dictatorial; who expect total submission. Such men hate themselves and can’t truly love anyone. They insist on total submission and seek a submissive woman. If she fights back he respects her more, provided she wins without his getting violent. If she whimpers and shuts up, she loses respect. Submission both shows and reinforces his sense of significance, which is constantly confused and embroiled with self-hatred.
  • They separate and seek divorce. She thinks yielding sex will make ex more agreeable to her or their kids. Wrong! His respect for her will weaken further, although his suggestions or pleas may sound otherwise. The weaker his respect, the weaker his interest in negotiating fairly much less equitably.
  • The most reliable path to marital resurrection is for the ex-husband to be refused sex so long as they are separated. Her persistent refusals can re-earn his respect and rekindle his interest in her as the woman he first married. The wise woman also insists he demonstrate re-dedication by retaking their vows in public.
  • The need of self-importance in females works much like the need of self-admiration in males. Women are ambitious for what makes them important in life (aka relating with others as friend, spouse, mother, et al.). Men are ambitious for producing results (aka conquering females, competing, providing, protecting, problem solving).
  • A wife’s thoughts that husband is inferior to other men plants toxic seeds in her thinking from which emerge destructive relationship pressures. Thoughts of his superiority add to her ability to build harmony.
  • Being vehicles of the radical political left, Feminism and political correctness spread by exploiting immature people. They’re crushed under the wheels of mature sense made common by political ideology.

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Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, marriage, sex differences

2488. Female Love (cont’d)

Responding to 2487, Her Highness Beloved inquired this way. “Are you also saying men don’t love women as much as women love men or just that they aren’t as good at showing it?” She spurred the following ride.

They love differently, because they are born different. Men have no natural equivalent to female love. The closest thing is respect. Female love is just given; it doesn’t have to be earned. Male love can’t be earned without her first earning his respect. (Men love more and deeply when they highly respect the female gender, and Feminism’s blame has also weakened and darkened modern relationships.)

A woman’s love is inborn. It’s not just ability but essential for her life. Her personality and roles in life are built around it. She’s born to give love, and she needs it returned to maintain her spirit as a woman. It’s so deeply entrenched in her psyche that she can love someone without reason or respect, pretty much just from appearance such as when experiencing infatuation. Without loving someone, she’s effectively lost. Unrequited love can unsettle her ability of living a routine life among others.

A man is born with the ability to love and can shower it on inanimate objects and certain habits of behavior. But he’s not born with the incentive to give unearned love as do women. Love emerges the male heart only if respect of a woman precedes it. He can’t or won’t love without trusting it’s the right thing for his present-day life and all the other things he has to do.

Setting aside romantic love as an instantaneous and short-lived phenomenon that plays but a minor role, men fall into love this way. She’s attractive, he earns self-admiration by pursuing her for sex, and he either conquers her or continues trying.

Love grows out of his trying to convince her to yield. As he looks for weaknesses, he uncovers qualities that he admires aka virtues. Seeking to marry a virtuous woman, the more virtues that accumulate in his mind and become appreciated in his heart, the more certainly his love starts to grow.

Trust and respect are reciprocals; give one and it earns the other. Men expect to earn trust by giving respect, but a woman has to earn his respect by being trustworthy. The best test of which is her insistence on remaining chaste to him. If she fails to yield with all his charm, effort, and persistence, then she must be chaste with other men. Therefore, she can be trusted, and it means that his respect of her is a solid foundation for his loving feelings to follow.

If he respects her, he figures he can trust her. If he sees her trust, he presumes he is respected. However, kill trust and you kill respect and vice versa in the male mind. Thus, by making conquest easy, a woman signals that she’s not as trustworthy or as lovable as a man expects and she does not earn the foundation of respect for his love to follow.

The male psyche is hardwired to conquer attractive women, who earn masculine respect by refusing to yield. If they earn much respect before conquest, a man is not primed to love them; it’s only the foundation. His love develops out of other factors such as her likeability and his loyalty to her and his likeability to her and her loyalty to him.

Another route to male love is available. After conquest, she earns his respect in non-sexual ways; persona, character, virtues, etc. As a man’s respect intensifies, his love can develop and intensify with devotion, which is another process that can develop according to how a woman responds to a man’s desire to love her.

Consequently, manly love is highly conditional. It comes in the form of process rather than a woman’s ability to love just to be giving love as part of her nature. While it’s possible for his love to exceed hers, it’s not the usual case. Relatively only, her love is almost instantaneous compared to the prolonged process by which a man comes to love a woman.

As for showing his love as easily as women do, it’s inborn that men not disclose their emotions. Born to compete, it gives competitors an advantage to know how a man feels and thinks. Part of the process of learning to love a woman includes the conscious dropping of that instinct long enough to say, I love you. Once married, the instinct returns as habit to keep his feelings to himself, especially if their relationship develops into a competitive one. Yes, the less competitive, the more easily he can express his feelings in words that she desires and appreciates.

Consequently, men have good reason not to show their love as well as do women. By their nature, men don’t love women as much as women love men until and unless the man becomes proactively devoted to his woman. Devotion is another earning process (posts 2473-74) that takes place during courtship, marriage or starts up with a man’s immediate conviction that he loves at first sight.

All of the above is condensed into this summary of their natures: If he cheats, she wants to talk. If she cheats, he wants to walk.


Filed under courtship, feminine, How she wins, marriage, sex differences