Conclusions drawn are stronger than simple knowledge, because they require investment of Self. Conclusions get emotions involved, and we’re all emotional decision makers.
© Mystery about her sexual proclivities poses more challenges and greater risk on which the male mind thrives. Conclusions drawn more easily lead to her being asked out.
© Knowing that she will yield makes him want to pursue without a date. Rational thought says try a shorter route.
© Knowing for sure that she won’t yield discourages him from wanting to invest himself. Rational thought says to first get to know her some other way.
© Having speculated about evidence, guessed about unknowns, and concluded that she might yield sparks his emotional interest. Rational thought confirms he should probably ask her out.
© When he finds out on first or second date that she’s into chastity until Mr. Right comes along, two outcomes are most likely: She no longer interests him. Or, he seeks to become Mr. Right. It’s not what she tells him, it’s what he concludes from what she does and says.
Summarizing, when she behaves such that he feels challenged just to ask, he measures the risk of rejection. When she’s worth the risk, he’ll do the asking. If she presents herself as little or no challenge, he’ll take the easy way out: “Come on up to my place.” Or “Meet me at (the watering hole).”
What Women Never Hear 
Sir Guy,
What about guys who I just met and have never spoken to or seen until that moment and want me to go to their place? Are you saying that they assume something about me that I may have sex with them? Is it because of my behavior, my race, or some other stereotype? I am a minority but I don’t behave slutty. I am told by people that I am quiet or shy. Can this be an issue?
Your Highness Krysie869,
Other than your attractiveness, it has nothing to do with you. Enough gals respond favorably to such invitations that guys take every short cut they can find.
Can quiet or shy be an issue? It makes you an easier target because guys figure you’re more easily a pushover, less likely to fight back, or do something they would consider stupid. They can take a No, but they don’t want a hassle. There’s too much easy sex elsewhere. So, no it’s not an issue, just an apparently removed obstacle.
Guy
EDITOR’S NOTE: MY RESPONSE IS IN CAPS to your original lower case. Guy
But wouldn’t being naturally quiet be less of a hassle since that person is more likely to say yes? Wouldn’t guys prefer an easier route to sex? PERHAPS, BUT HE MEASURES THE RISK FIRST. QUIET AND SHY ARE MORE UNPREDICTABLE AND THEREFORE RISKIER.
Also, what does it mean for a quiet woman if a guy doesn’t approach you but thinks you are attractive? How can I get him to approach without initiating? There once was a professor who barley looked me in the eye when he was speaking to me or when I was talking to him. But whenever I didn’t look at him directly, I could sense he was staring at me! Even if he was talking to other students! But when I looked at him, he would quickly turn his head away! To me, he appeared highly insecure. Is he intimidated by my shyness? NO, INTIMIDATED BY HIS OWN SHYNESS, UNCERTAINTY, AND RISK AVOIDANCE.
Guy
Thanks!
I would think turning down an offer to go to his place and suggest doing something in public (restaurant, picnic in a park, church, etc.) would be a good test to see what he does. Is he interested in her enough to accommodate her wishes? If not interested at all, another good way to weed the bad ones out.
Really beneficial….look forward to visiting again.|
Your Highness nba 2k16 mt points cheap,
Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when someone else joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
Guy
Hello Sir Guy
I enjoyed these 3 series on asking for the first date and am wondering what your thoughts are on Blind Dates. I would like to set some of my friends up on blind dates. Do you think this is a good idea or does it go against their interest?
Your Highness Lady Penny,
Many happy marriages began with a blind date. They are good for society; it spreads attractive values and standards around much more. Prevents hiding behind one’s habits and preconceived notions about others.
Plaudits to those who arrange blind dates and bravo to participants. It’s only a pain or embarrassment if the gal goes into it expecting to be entertained instead of trying to entertain the man.
She’s the relationship expert and can always use more experience and she’s looking for a long range investment of her effort. He’s the one expecting to find short range potential that can rise to a challenge for him to conquer.
Blind dates are risky and it takes brave folks, which is good to help develop reliable character in people. Society would be a much better place if blind dates were far more common. Those who arrange them are better people for extending their interest into the lives of other people.
I hated blind dates when I was young, but then my self-interest was about immediately having fun. Gals are comfortable when they entertain guys, so they should use their ability rather than their fear they won’t be liked. Make a guy laugh, and he likes you.
Guy
Hello Lady Penny,
If I may step in, while we wait for Sir Guy’s response, with a suggestion.
I read somewhere that the Europeans don’t do blind dates. They instead have a dinner party to which they invite their single friends and let them make a connection, if they do. It eases the blind date awkwardness and no one feels “rejected” if there is no match up…also it doesn’t feel “set up.”
It can be a bit weird when you discover who your friends think you should be interested in –when they fix you up on a blind date….been there haha.
Just a thought.
Dear Sir Guy and Msarianne
I appreciate both your feedback. I really like your idea of hosting a dinner party and inviting the bind date participants, Msarianne. However when i made the suggestion, the ladies complained about the competition that the other ladies will present and said they preferred the blind date because of that and the individual attention they will have. One of my friends once organized a blind date for me. After finding this blog and reflecting back on that situation, I learnt that the guy i was on a blind date with at the time was actually trying to sell himself to me when he spoke of himself and his achievement and family and so on! Back then, my ignorant mind didn’t interpret the situation like that though! Am very grateful to Sir Guy for this blog and what I have learnt here ever since! It’s a pity the women i share the wisdom i learn on here do not listen and prefer to continue in their ways and then wonder why they get the same results that they do 😐 I understand now where Sir Guy comes from when he talks about our eager pointy finger that doesn’t hesitate to blame men when things don’t work out for us.
@ Sir Guy, when i proposed the idea of a blind date to the guys, some said no. One in particular attacked me when i proposed the idea by asking how could I pry into his life with such a proposal and my questions and that I hadn’t changed over the years and that he is very disappointed to discover I am still the same. I was taken by surprise by this outburst from him and still feel really hurt. I did not defend myself though because i kept hearing your “don’t complain and don’t explain” at the back of my mind. Also, responding with silence is sometimes better, I find. Still trying to work through the negativity his outburst has left behind. Why do you think he responded like that? I get the impression it’s something he has harbored for a really long time to say to me.
Your Highness Lady Penny,
About the guy’s outburst. I’m guessing he misread you previously, expected to gain your interest in him, miscalculated and failed, and took it out on you to salve his ego and forget his guilt.
I like the way you handled it. Many gals would have sympathized and tried to relieve his anger. You left him with the ashes of the fire he let smolder between former and current encounters. Now, he has two failures to live with. Neither time did you do what he expected, and so his highly regarded prowess proved incapable of achieving your interest in him. Should you ever develop an interest in him, I think you will find that he significantly respects you from the get-go.
I love to see such smart and pretty girls win without blaming a man. You left him to blame no one but himself, so he can’t justifiably counter-blame you or women generally for his miscalculating you.
Guy
I have so much esteem for the women in this community. I learn a lot from all of your articulate and insightful comments. Dear Lady Penny, it’s hard to do, but I hope that the guy’s negativity will leave your heart. I love my ability to feel things deeply, but sometimes for me they can overstay their welcome. Still learning to let things go, please do write if you have any wisdom to share. Now I am going to read some older articles 🙂 Have a good day everyone.
Wants to know… #hugs and kisses. Enjoy the ride. Life is so much more fun when you know how to deal with men properly.
Thank you dear gonemaverick!
Lady Penny,
I’m so sorry that he reacted that way. I appreciate you sharing the experience. I have to say, I learn A LOT from the comments and stories the ladies share using what they have learned from Sir Guy. The good and the bad. We are in it together, learning and moving along.
Reading your experiences adds so much to this blog.